"...handsome, confident...known for being very affectionate with the ladies in his life..."

No, not the latest chav on chav killing, though you could be forgiven for thinking that. This is London Zoo's bungled attempt to bring in a new breeding male.

Asim - whose name means 'Protector' in Arabic - had been matched with Melati through the European Endangered Species Programme for Sumatran tigers.

Oh, well, I suppose if the current match wasn't working out, then they had no ch...

Wait, hang on a tick.

The 10-year-old female had had three litters with her former mate, Jae Jae...

Who has now been moved to a French park. Let's hope he fancies his new dates, eh?

And if this wasn't such a horrible and unnecessary situation, I might be tempted to point out yet another European scheme promising to make things so much better, while in reality making them irreparably worse...