A mother tired of the disapproving glances and barbed comments her five-year-old with autism receives has designed a clothing range to alert people to his behaviour.Err, doesn't his behaviour itself alert people to that?
What she really means, of course, is 'alert people to the excuse' for his behaviour.
“When we go out, it doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with him – he looks like a normal run-of-the-mill kid,” the 41-year-old said.
“Oscar does have unpredictable behaviour, though. He gets lots of looks and gets called naughty by adults.
“We’ve had ‘for god’s sake, shut up’ because he can really scream. We have experienced people saying to us before ‘if he were mine, he’d be getting a smack’.
“I’ve also been in meetings where Oscar isn’t referred to by his name and is only talked about when people say ‘what’s wrong with him’. It’s really offensive.”People out for a quiet shop or walk probably think having their ears assaulted by a screaming child is pretty offensive, love.
The label sells t-shirts for children and adults emblazoned with messages like “be kind I have autism” and “unpredictable and amazing”.
“It’s about informing people in a really gentle way that he may need a wide berth when we’re out,” she explained.Yes, that's right. She really believes that it's everyone else's responsibility to change their direction and not her's to ensure her child doesn't aggravate other people. Ain't it always the way, latesly?
Because we're no longer entitled to simply live our own lives. We're expected to be experts in every trivial, made-up, non-existent condition going.
ReplyDeleteHave to agree with you. With proper parenting an autistic child can achieve the same margins as a 'normal' child. It is harder but still possible.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked with what were called retarded children in the early 70s (including classically autistic children ie real deal ) the idea was that they needed to behave even better than healthy children in order to be socially accepted. Now every child is allowed to be a monster.
ReplyDeleteferal. I am a father of a 20 year old man with autism (sometimes referred to as "classic"), adhd and learning difficulties. Learning age maybe 5 or 6.
ReplyDeleteIt very frequently not possible to achieve the same margins a 'normal child'.
I would dearly love it to be possible.
If you please can show me how to do it, it would help my son enormously. It would be literally life changing, What is more we could make countless millions together.
Dear David. First of all, I salute you. Like I said it's not easy. Secondly, I should have been clearer in my comment. With the right support in place from the very beginning an autistic child can achieve the same margins as a 'normal' child. It is extremely hard, but it is possible. But the thing is it must start at the very beginning. The first 3 to 4 years are crucial in child care, learning and development. Unfortunately it has only just come to light that autistic children are not naughty children. I would imagine that you didn't receive a good support system when your son was born. Tell me, what is the support that you have for your son and as a family like now? You have probably researched already but do you think there's enough support? Do let me know.
ReplyDeleteKind regards
Feral.
"Because we're no longer entitled to simply live our own lives. We're expected to be experts in every trivial, made-up, non-existent condition going."
ReplyDeleteSpot on!
"It is harder but still possible."
Hard work is for the birds!
"...the idea was that they needed to behave even better than healthy children in order to be socially accepted. Now every child is allowed to be a monster."
Another good point.
"It very frequently not possible to achieve the same margins a 'normal child'. "
And for those for whom it isn't, maybe a secure environment is required. We used to have those.