Friday 23 August 2019

Trust, But...Wait.

A shop worker stuffed thousands of pounds worth of notes in his pants from the safe.
Chris Lam was caught on camera taking the money from the Cex shop in Western Road, Brighton.
Ooops!
It was just months after he was sacked for stealing thousands of pounds from Cotswold Outdoor Co where he invented fake receipts.
Wait, what? Why did Cex employ him then?
“It was not reported to the police, but he was dismissed.”
Ah. But wait!
He was previously jailed for four months in 2011 for fraud, and was cautioned for theft by an employee in 2008.
/facepalm
Judge David Rennie said he had been “thoroughly dishonest”, but gave Lam six months to prove his sincerity about paying back the money.
/doublefacepalm
Jason Halsey, defending, said Lam made full admissions to the thefts at the first opportunity, and said he is currently in work, earning £23,000 per year.
WHO IS EMPLOYING HIM? WHO?!?
He told Lam: “You have been thoroughly dishonest on a number of occasions in your life. You are saying all the right things, but I would say the same if I were facing prison.
“If you pay back the money it will be an impressive response that I would consider carefully.
“There may be better ways of managing your problems which led you to take stupid decisions.”
You could cut his thieving hands off? Maybe there's something to this sharia law thing after all?

3 comments:

  1. Perhaps he is now working as a robber.

    A robber broke into my house last night looking for money. So I woke up and looked with him.

    Bad joke I know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm confused. The Guardian regularly informs me that anyone falling foul of our unjust, oppressive and racist criminal law is shut out from further employment for evermore, and is thus completely unable to earn a living from anything but crime?

    They wouldn't be lying to me would they?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "They wouldn't be lying to me would they?"

    Perish the thought!

    ReplyDelete