”If that’s justice, I’m a banana…”

…as so famously said by Ian Hislop.

Well, I guess we’re all bananas now, courtesy of our old friend Judge Tabor who has hit the headlines again with yet another bizarre ruling:

A man accused of robbing a driving instructor walked free from court after a judge ruled his alleged victim was 'too believable' to give evidence, it has emerged.

Mother-of-two Denise Dawson, 36, was praised for being 'honest, utterly decent and brave' when she testified against Liam Perks, 20.

But the trial was stopped on the first day because Judge Jamie Tabor QC ruled her good character may unfairly sway the jury against the defendant.

Famed US lawyer Lionel Hutz would not comment on the brilliance of the judges’ actions, claiming ‘Hey, even I have some standards..!’

Judge Tabor, who last year freed a wife who had admitted trying to poison her husband, said he would have done the same with the Archbishop of Canterbury's son.

He told Bristol Crown Court: 'Denise Dawson was a particularly impressive witness because she showed courage, clarity of thought and was undoubtedly honest.

'The jury may lend more weight to her evidence than her facts allow. You cannot be sure she got it right.

Well, no. I thought that what that ‘trial’ business was supposed to do….? Guess I was wrong!

Mrs Dawson was furious after the ruling, which she branded a 'kick in the teeth', and says she is terrified because her alleged assailant is still walking the streets.

She said: 'The whole incident was a nightmare and I felt sick when I was told the trial had collapsed. What more can I do?

'I positively identified someone from a video ID parade and was prepared to risk everything in going to court but it's still not enough.'

Of course it’s not enough – it might have meant the judge had to send a poor, misunderstood lad to prison (or, more likely, a community sentence) and we can’t have that…

M’learned friend wasn’t quite finished, and had one last kick in the teeth for all decent members of the public, though.

Despite calling a halt to the trial, Judge Tabor then offered her a £250 bravery award for her actions.

That’s wonderful, don’t you think? That pretty much sums up the attitude of the clowns in wigs that sit on the bench nowdays: ‘Well done for coming forward, here’s some cash from the public purse – but don’t think I’m going to carry out the job I’m paid to do, I just find it too one-sided, you see. All those scum standing there in the dock, and you victims looking all middle-class and respectable, I just can’t see the justice in it, my dear….’

Update: In the comments, Longrider raises the possibility of this being more the fault of the CPS.