Saturday 13 June 2009

"There can be only one..."

...possible outcome:
A man who went berserk with a samurai sword, after necking about 25 bottles of Stella, has avoided a jail term.
But of course.
Sentencing Flack to a 12-month community order, recorder John Akast told Flack he was “getting too old for this sort of thing”, and he had to stick to the drugs prescribed for him.

Mr Akast said: “I don’t suppose you know what was going on in your mind that night.

“Keep the booze down, and if you can find someone to talk to when you get wound up so much the better, rather than waving a sword around when you could have hurt somebody.”
Well, I'm sure that made an impression on him, and he won't be doing it again.

Where does Mr Akast live, I wonder? Nowhere near the likes of Flack, I'll bet...

5 comments:

  1. A German waving an unloaded air pistol around shouting "F*ck the Spanish" did a runner from here last year as he was looking at a 2 year jail sentence and then permanent deportation!

    We are far too lenient in the UK, no wonder so there's so much violence. In this town in Spain, the Police Station closes at 11pm.

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  2. Sadly, Flack is almost certainly a Basildonian native, and so exempt from deportation...

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  3. The natives are just as likely to get a kicking from the police here if they misbehave, so they don't. Plus, it's a very tight knit community (something we have lost for various reasons)and when someone gets into trouble with the law, the whole town knows!

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  4. "a 12-month community order" -why, of course - it's the only language these paranoid schizophrenics understand. Community service a little respect into them.

    Also, I know a little old lady down the street here - (nervous old dear - afraid of strangers would you believe even now the bruising's gone down), and Flack could come and, er, clean her doorstep or ball up her wool or something.


    Sorted.

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  5. Here's what will happen in x months time:

    He will go mental again, and this time he will kill someone.
    The police will wring their hands, saying that is is "a tragedy" and that their thoughts are with the family.

    The government will say that it is "a tragedy" and that "lessons will be learned".

    The stupid twat of a judge will carry on just the same.

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