The supermarket giant Tesco is to start stocking extra large condoms, saying the launch of the Durex Extra Large range follows "overwhelming consumer demand".I don't know if that's true or not, but I now know everyone is going to buy them. Even if they don't need them.
Just to preen in front of the shopgirl. Or boy...
Is there already a Large variety?
ReplyDeleteFunny how you never see the Super Small or Extra Tiny range on show...
10 mm longer plus 1 mm wider isn't a fat amount of use
ReplyDeleteNobody bothers to invent a male bra for us and aren't we just sick of big pricks getting all the attention.
ReplyDeleteLes Testicles de Bulsize
Blue eyes
ReplyDeleteApparently all the "Extra Tinies" have been snaffled by this bloke
Tiny Tim is coming out too, Umbongo. So its e-bay for the E-type, chest wig and gold medallion collection.
ReplyDeleteI seem to recall a possibly apocryphal tale from my youth, that a Spainish speaking country (Mexico?) was trying to promote condom use , but was failing abysmally, men either weren't buying them or reporting that they came off and were useless.
ReplyDeleteThen some bright spark had the idea of instead of Small, Medium & Large rebrand them as.
Macho, Grande & Gigantico
Sales increased manyfold
A good many years back when I was 'courting', I stopped off at a garage to make what I hoped would be a necessary purchase from a vending machine in the toilet.
ReplyDeleteThere were several machines, but they were both covered in grafitti such as 'Buy me and Stop one', -'this chewing gum tastes awful' and the classic addition to the 'This product has been tested to British Standard BS 4098A' - ...'So was the Titanic'
Anyway one machine seemed to be dispensing the standard article but the other machine was brightly coloured, under the grafitti, and appeared to be providing something more 'special' so I went for that one.
When the right moment came I opened the foil packet and noticed that my purchase was coloured green.
I put it on and my 'old man' instantly took on the appearance of a large courgette. (I would be vain if I said cucumber and doing myself down if I said gherkin)
All through the 'event' I kept imagining I was involved in a threesome with the 'Jolly Green Giant', - which rather took the edge off it for me.
On the upside, all the thinking about veg and two veg rather than meat and two veg, probably allowed me a few minutes of 'extra time', which seemed to go down well with my date.
"I seem to recall a possibly apocryphal tale from my youth..."
ReplyDeleteHeh! Yes, I'd forgotten that one...
"There were several machines, but they were both covered in grafitti such as 'Buy me and Stop one', -'this chewing gum tastes awful' and the classic addition to the 'This product has been tested to British Standard BS 4098A' - ...'So was the Titanic'..."
Ah, the days when grafitti artists did more than just scrawl their names in DayGlo...
My favourite rubber machine graffiti which is old and highly unoriginal is: insert baby for refund.
ReplyDeleteOn the "chewing-gum machine" graffiti front, I quite liked, "My dad says these don't work", which is rather poignant.
ReplyDeleteYou will also be disappointed to learn that the machine in Belushi's in Greenwich which sold condoms from one column and inflatable sheep from the other has now been removed. I'm still trying to work that one out.
My wife says that condoms should be labelled "small ", "medium" and "liar". :-)
ReplyDelete"..."My dad says these don't work", which is rather poignant."
ReplyDeleteHeh! Indeed...