Monday 23 August 2010

Oh, These Two Have Got To Share A Cell...

Cretin One:
A businessman embarked on a two year campaign of hate after a woman accidentally bumped into him in the street.

Michael Scott, 58, tracked down the 23-year-old woman who he claimed had not apologised for colliding with him in the street.

After the brief encounter in Worthing town centre, Scott spent two months making repeated phone calls pestering her.

During calls Scott, of Stewards Rise, Arundel, told his terrified victim she would be sold into slavery and shipped to the Middle East.

Cretin Two:
A man tried to stab a house-mate after a row about leaving the loo seat up.

Sanjhiv Auchraj saw red and took the toilet seat away altogether after his patience snapped.

He scrawled a message on the cistern telling others living in the shared house to leave the lid down in future.

Clifford Meaden was asked by other residents to speak to Auchraj about the missing seat, Brighton Crown Court heard.

Auchraj, 44, who had been drinking, was in bed in his room when Mr Meaden asked him where it was.

Auchraj told him he had thrown it in the bin and then jumped out of bed brandishing a 12ins kitchen knife.
It'd just be awesome, wouldn't it?

5 comments:

  1. The best I can jump out of bed brandishing barely reaches six inches...

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  2. And I bet you wouldn't be able to carve the Sunday joint with it either.....

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  3. I try to look on the bright side and the company of these cretins would make me look really good.

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  4. "A man tried to stab a house-mate after a row about leaving the loo seat up"

    Hold on a minute, a MAN complained about the seat being up? Somethings not right here ...

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  5. "Hold on a minute, a MAN complained about the seat being up?"

    Mindboggling, isn't it? :D

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