Tough On Traffic Disputes, Tough On The Causes...

...of traffic disputes:

A man was ordered off a flight and arrested by four armed police at Heathrow over a traffic dispute seven months earlier.

Wow! Clearly a dangerous fugitive! Did we have another potential Kenneth Noye here?

Err...

Officers swooped on Tom Hardyment as he returned from a trip to Washington – even though he had told them he would be away and had offered five times to fix a date to report to a police station.

D'oh!

The car dealer was led off the Virgin plane, driven away in a cage inside a van, then held in cells for six hours before being released without charge.

Five days later he was told no further action would be taken.

That must have been some traffic dispute, surely? I mean, forgetting the sheer incompetence of rocking up mob-handed to arrest a man who'd already made plans to come quietly, to generate that kind of response he must have done something to trigger...

Ah:

Police were investigating claims from a driver that he had been threatening and racially abusive.

Well, let's not be too hasty. To certain sections of the Met, this'll be a sensitive area, and a tick in the box for them if they can pro...

Oh, FFS!

Mr Hardy­ment swerved at a junction after a car pulled out in front of him. When both cars stopped at lights, an Asian woman leapt out and pounded on his passenger window.

He said: ‘At first I thought it was an attempted robbery. The woman was going berserk.

‘I got out and the woman was screaming abuse. She said she was a nurse looking after a child. I said judging by her violent behaviour she shouldn’t be in charge of children and I’d make sure she never worked in this country again.’

*sigh*

Now, admittedly, we only have his side of the story here. Maybe the police were suspicious because he couldn't keep those appointments. It was him who cancelled them, wasn't it?

Errr...

On one occasion when he tried to meet police, the officer concerned was away on holiday, and a further meeting was cancelled because a new officer assigned to the case needed more time to research it.

/facepalm

A Scotland Yard spokesman said: ‘We treat all allegations of race crime seriously.’

You missed out the words 'far too'...