Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Almost Too Delicious For Words…

When Britain was labelled the fattest country in Europe, experts were quick to point the finger of blame at our modern lifestyles. Busy work schedules coupled with the demands of social and family life left us little time to cook, they claimed, the result being a reliance on unhealthy convenience foods.

In a nation where almost one in four people are so fat they are classed as clinically obese, it’s no wonder nutritionists are constantly warning us to eat more fruit and vegetables and less fat. But what happens when our obsession with healthy eating goes too far?
Ooooh, do tell!
According to some experts, focusing too much on foods low in fat, salt and sugar could actually be a sign of mental illness.
Heh….

Heh heh….

Bwahahahaha!
Eating disorder charities are reporting a rise in the number of people who suffer from a condition known as orthorexia nervosa – which derives from the Greek word meaning ‘right’ or ‘correct’.
Fantastic! A disease of the Righteous!
Those affected are so obsessed with eating healthily, they often cut out entire food groups such as wheat, dairy or meat, believing it’s good for them. However, it can have a devastating effect on their overall health.
Oh, this will be music to the ears of Dick Puddlecote, Leg-Iron, Captain Ranty, The Devil and all the other bloggers who have long warned that the ‘denormalisation’ of alcohol and tobacco would merely be the start of a slippery slope!

Now, the NuPuritans are hoist on their own petard! Let’s use their tactics against them, shall we?
Orthorexia affects both men and women. Sufferers tend to be over 30 but the condition can manifest at a much earlier age. ‘Children learn by copying – and that includes their parents’ eating habits,’ says Jenkins. ‘If parents are setting a poor example, then the same pattern can be reflected in their children.’
’Eat lard! It’s for the chiiillllreeeeennnn!’
Deanne Jade, from the National Centre for Eating Disorders, says the condition is becoming more widespread in modern society because of the pressures put on us to eat ‘healthily’ by writers, nutritionists and health and fitness professionals.
‘Ban them! Silence them! It’s for the chiiillllreeeeennnn!’
‘We’ve come to realise diets don’t work long-term, so writers instead tend to produce weight-loss plans disguised as healthy eating plans that make us feel eating this or that food type is bad for us because it’s the wrong thing for our blood type or might affect our bodies in this way or that,’ argues Jade.

‘This negative message is being reinforced by an army of nutritionists and personal trainers, all who have their own ideas of what foods are bad and good for us and they often use scare tactics. All these messages drip feed into our consciousness until we feel that if we are not on some kind of health kick or eating plan we are all going to die from horrible diseases.’
‘Hectoring nanny directives and fakecharity statements are making us all ill! They must stop! For the chiiillllreeeeennnn!’

Wow! This is so much fun!

11 comments:

  1. Brilliant. These poor chiiiildren are suffering from passive dieting.

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  2. Has it not occurred to anyone that the obesity 'epidemic' might just have something to do with the growth hormones being fed wholesale to livestock. For example Tesco Chickens (sourced almost exclusively from [unregulated] Thailand) are given massive amounts of these drugs so they are ready for the UK's tables in almost half the time of free range hens.

    If it makes them grow what does it do to us?

    Just a thought.

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  3. Big Brother is never right and never admits it. Eat when you are hungry is not profitable, so feed appetite enhancers via the processed muck food chain and bingo, big profits, big people, big government big SOCIETY!

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  4. Brilliant find Julia. I am seeing a gap in the market for a new fake charity, do you want to start one?

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  5. Some more to enjoy:

    The obsession about which foods are "good" and which are "bad" means orthorexics can end up malnourished. Their dietary restrictions commonly cause sufferers to feel proud of their "virtuous" behaviour even if it means that eating becomes so stressful their personal relationships can come under pressure and they become socially isolated.

    http://tinyurl.com/n3yprk

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  6. The other 5-a-day? Crisps, chocolate, beer or wine or some fizzy thing with sugar, toast or chips, full-fat cheese. Can't wait for the ad campaign.

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  7. And of course there is the famous five fruits a day campaign and the mighty Coordinators to go with it.

    Stands to reason fruit is good for you doesn't it? What could possibly go wrong?

    Well research has found that if you actually stick to the regime religiously, it will make you go pear shaped!

    Apparently the types of sugars in fruit accelerate the fattening of the midriff! Tee Hee.

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  8. "Has it not occurred to anyone that the obesity 'epidemic' might just have something to do with the growth hormones being fed wholesale to livestock."

    That's been a concern (and a driver for 'organic' produce) in some circles for a while. It seems no one's researching it, though...

    "I am seeing a gap in the market for a new fake charity, do you want to start one?"

    It could be a very profitable enterprise! :)

    "Stands to reason fruit is good for you doesn't it? What could possibly go wrong?"

    Remember the 'apple a day keeps the doctor away'? I bet dentists do!

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  9. Kevin & Julia, growth hormones have been illegal in the EU for a long time (imported meat included).

    Moreover, hormones are not needed as the high performance poultry breeds gain the weight naturally. In fact... farmers go to great length not to overfeed them because of that as that impacts their performance.

    The Thais will be using the same type of strains of commercial chickens (they'll have to or go under) how this all works, see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ue4EPs9jUA

    And take careful note that 'free range' birds are only cleaned out once in their lives and stand in their own excrement, unlike caged hens that get cleaned every few days and whose feet are kept clean, and hose eggs roll out of the cage, instead of getting smeared with whatsits.

    Finally, why people are fat: it's part of the human condition and since thousands of years, people have complained that not starving ones self makes a lot of people ugly. (it's the complainers, not the fatties who have the problem...!)

    30kg fat is nothing -- 1kg buys you 4 days of life, so 30kg just about sees you through a harsh winter without much food supplies.

    How many times did our ancestors rescue humanity this way? (...)

    This is why once you're fat, your body likes it that way and will keep it so... and it's why dieting never works for anyone over the long term.

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  10. The "1/4 are obese" meme. Completely preposterous. Just look around you, people. Are one in four of the people you see so fat that they are 'obese'? Bollocks

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  11. "This is why once you're fat, your body likes it that way and will keep it so... and it's why dieting never works for anyone over the long term."

    Indeed!

    "Just look around you, people. Are one in four of the people you see so fat that they are 'obese'? "

    Are you suggesting we rely on the evidence in front of our eyes, rather than the 'experts'..?

    :)

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