Celebrities In ‘Telling It Like It Is’ Shock Horror II

Next up, historian Dr David Starkey:

In a programme to be aired on Wednesday, the distinguished academic and author will be seen provoking a backlash among teenagers by criticising one boy’s weight.

Dr Starkey – one of a series of inspirational teachers drafted into Mr Oliver’s experimental school – even tells the boy that he could benefit from the “dieting opportunities” presented by the chef’s food.

Yeah, that’s not going to go down too well, is it? And I doubt Starkey starts from the same position as Joanna Lumley, with her solid-gold status as the nation’s darling.

Therefore, he’s got further to fall, though he’s actually right about a lot more things:

The historian later refuses to return to the classroom until pupils’ behaviour improves, saying they have already had “too much of the milk of human kindness” and should be subjected to back-to-basics discipline.

This is, of course, less a real ‘experiment’ and more car-crash TV for Channel 4:

The scenes will be shown as part of a new series in which Mr Oliver enlists TV personalities, top academics, actors and musicians to teach 20 struggling schoolchildren.

All the pupils have already finished compulsory education without five decent GCSEs after complaining they were turned off mainstream school.

But in the first programme, aired at 9pm on Channel 4, Mr Oliver describes some of the youths as “feral” and admits the experiment “seems to be falling apart before it’s begun”.

That depends, Jamie. I suspect it’ll fulfil its main goal of garnering ratings…

However, I think I’ll watch, because it promises to tell a few home truths, at last:

One class led by Dr Starkey, author of books including Elizabeth and The Private Life of Henry VIII, quickly descends into chaos when the historian tells pupils some "home truths".

He tells them "you all here because you have failed" and suggests many children spend more time worrying about their physical appearance than their brains.

Ouch! And probably the first time these pampered little darlings have ever, in their lives, been told the truth.

No wonder they react like this:

The comments – made as Dr Starkey attempts to control pupils at the start of a lesson on Anglo Saxon gold – provokes a bitter reaction from the teenager who makes a joke about the academic’s height.

And here we see the inevitable result of allowing children to consider themselves as of equal status to the teacher.

There’s no ‘authority figure’ in the room, as far as they are concerned, and so it’s quite natural that, when presented with something they don’t want to hear, their first instinct is to react as if they were both equals.

And when that doesn’t get them the ‘respect’ they demand….

Pupils later demand a showdown with Mr Oliver and the school’s head teacher, John d’Abbro, to complain about Dr Starkey.

Which drew this reaction from the irascible academic:

“They have been handled with kid gloves and when you look at them you wonder how beneficial that has been.”

Quite…

Naturally, the mockney chef, with an eye to a potential PR disaster, felt a need to ‘excuse’ this:

Mr Oliver, whose series attempts to get troubled teenagers to enjoy education, later adds: “I actually think in Starkey’s defence it was the first time he was teaching this bunch of people and he was probably a bit nervous. But, ultimately, teachers are adults and they shouldn’t be throwing around abuse at the young people.”

‘Abuse’..? Are you kidding me?