Tuesday, 19 April 2011

"But before the night is through, I wanna do bad things with you..."

A bottle of blood was found by a bus stop...
No, not in Bon Temps, Louisiana.

In Southend:
The vial was discovered in Chichester Road, Southend, by a horrified passer-by who reported it to the police.
Hmmmm....
Police arrived at the scene at about 7pm on Wednesday and removed the long thin plastic container filled with blood.

But they have been left perplexed by the find, after enquiries with local hospitals and the ambulance service have failed to identify the source of the blood.
Comments are, as expected, hilarious...
at

9 comments:

  1. Captain Haddock19 April 2011 at 12:25

    Can either Peter Mandelson or Michael Howard, both "Princes of Darkness" satisfactorily account for their movements on the night in question ?

    I am, of course, assuming that the "blood" has been sent for forensic analysis & has proven to be of human origin ?

    Or are Essex Plod urgently seeking an anaemic chicken ?

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  2. Clarissa19 April 2011 at 13:28

    ...to be of human origin?

    Oh come on, this is Southend we are talking about here. Evolution runs backwards in that town.

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  3. Leg-iron19 April 2011 at 17:19

    Darcula's packed lunch perhaps?

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  4. Leg-iron19 April 2011 at 17:20

    Ummm... or maybe his better-educated cousin Dracula...

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  5. Captain Haddock19 April 2011 at 18:35

    Clarissa said ...

    ...to be of human origin?

    "Oh come on, this is Southend we are talking about here. Evolution runs backwards in that town" ...

    Well, I was using the term "human" in its broadest possible context .. ;)

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  6. rong eli 575919 April 2011 at 18:38

    The average Southenders' blood is worth quite a bit, what with all the weed, bugle and smack in there. It could have been part of a dealers' stash.

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  7. JuliaM20 April 2011 at 05:44

    "I am, of course, assuming that the "blood" has been sent for forensic analysis & has proven to be of human origin ?"

    I think Clarissa points to some potential problems with that approach... ;)

    "The average Southenders' blood is worth quite a bit, what with all the weed, bugle and smack in there."

    Interesting! Perhaps it's worth something, if you could refine it...

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  8. Furor Teutonicus20 April 2011 at 08:12

    XX The vial was discovered in Chichester Road, Southend, by a horrified passer-by who reported it to the police.XX

    HORRIFIED? By a bottle of fucking SUSPECT blood?

    Fer FUCKS sake, no wonder the bleeding Taliban are winning.

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  9. Furor Teutonicus20 April 2011 at 08:13

    Hmm. No pun intended with the "bleeding Taliban."

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