Tuesday, 26 April 2011

The Quick-Fix Generation...

Terrified by the MSM's stories of Britain's 'obesity scandal', worried middle-class parents are demanding solutions, and enterprising toy companies are meeting their needs.

Got £79.99 to spend? Then you too could purchase this:




It's a mini-gym. And obesity 'experts' are hailing it as a great way to lose the...

Oh, wait. They're not:
Dr Ian Campbell, medical director of charity Weight Concern, said: ‘Resistance training is not ideal for anybody under the age of 16 and especially not during these tender years.

‘At this age I believe weight training, however light the weights, is wholly unnecessary and potentially harmful.’
Great! Pile on that guilt, Ian!
A spokesman for the British Heart foundation added: ‘Parents could be spending a small fortune on mini-me gyms when the best thing for their child’s health and fitness is free – and that is going outside and enjoying playing sports and games in the fresh air.’
But...but....paedophiles behind every tree! Dangerous dogs! Traffic! The awful thought your child might win a game and crush someone's self esteem! How can you suggest such a thing!

Who'd be a parent these days?
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6 comments:

  1. banned26 April 2011 at 11:10

    Diesel particulants = SMOG!, quick, crack out the respirators.

    Where are all these fat people? They don't seem to live around here. They must either spend all their time indoors scoffing or live in Stoke On Trent where I've never been.

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  2. Lynne26 April 2011 at 16:13

    It looks like someone buggered up the assembly of a toddler's trike. Maybe the instructions were written by a bloke working for Ikea...

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  3. Angry Exile26 April 2011 at 16:20

    Mummy, I don't want toooo.

    Strength through joy, sweetheart, strength through joy. Now get on the fucking bench and give me 20 reps.

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  4. Macheath26 April 2011 at 20:20

    I wonder, is this object by any chance related to the pole dancing that caused such a furore a while back?

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  5. Captain Haddock26 April 2011 at 23:00

    "Maybe the instructions were written by a bloke working for Ikea" ...

    Or maybe by someone eminently qualified for British jury service .. eh ?

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  6. JuliaM27 April 2011 at 06:41

    "Where are all these fat people? They don't seem to live around here."

    Two words - British seaside.

    In summer. Greenpeace may be required.

    " Maybe the instructions were written by a bloke working for Ikea..."

    Heh!

    "I wonder, is this object by any chance related to the pole dancing that caused such a furore a while back?"

    I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out it was the same company, would you?

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