Monday 31 October 2011

Well, There’s One Glaring Reason Why It’s ‘No Longer An Issue’…

…and it’s the same reason that quaggas in your garden and passenger pigeons on your bird table aren’t an issue either:
… a council spokesman said the issue had been a problem in the past but was no longer an issue at any Millennium Coastal Park waters or county-owned ponds, possibly because carp stocks have been depleted.
/facepalm
Dyfed-Powys Police’s wildlife officer PC Adrian Ward said the issue was being taken seriously.

He said: “We have recently been made aware of concerns in relation to carp fish being removed from ponds near the Dyfatty Industrial Park by the water bailiff and Llanelli Carp Fishing Association.

A meeting is due to take place imminently to discuss the matter and how to tackle the problem.”
Whew! Thank god Adrian's on the case, moving swiftly into action, eh? Well, if meetings and discussions count as 'action', anyway.

I suppose a few patrols on the cold mornings are too much to hope for?
A spokesman for the Environmental Agency (sic) said: “I don’t think we have had any reports of this issue. If no one has reported it to us we have no involvement.”
'Who, us? Didn't see nuthin'..'

Which is rather strange, as the Environment Agency (note correct spelling, 'This Is SouthWales'...) is well aware of the problem, and indeed of the likely culprits.

4 comments:

  1. “We have recently been made aware of concerns in relation to carp fish being removed from ponds near the Dyfatty Industrial Park by the water bailiff and Llanelli Carp Fishing Association."

    This sentence implies the removal is being done by the bailiffs. One of the less well educated I suppose. A large majority.

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  2. Hook, line and sinker31 October 2011 at 11:16

    Just one of the many benefits of having an open-door immigration policy.

    The carp are really getting to feel the rich diversity of our new-look society. Or the feel of teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I enjoyed the comment by Philosoraptor (friend of yours, Julia?):

    Introduce some puffer pish, that'll mean the culprits are caught easily as they will be laying dead beside their chav BBQ set.

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  4. "This sentence implies the removal is being done by the bailiffs."

    Yup, yet more clumsy & impenetrable phrasing from our dumbed-down civil service.

    'Plain English' competition? What's that?

    "The carp are really getting to feel the rich diversity of our new-look society. Or the feel of teeth."

    Quite! I can remember my local Morrison getting carp in on the fresh fish counter one Christmas, to service the growing Polish community.

    "I enjoyed the comment by Philosoraptor.."

    Me too! He's quite a wit on the 'This Is...' comment fields...

    ReplyDelete