A grandmother threatened to stab a supermarket security guard with a syringe after being spotted on closed-circuit television stealing a £15 bottle of vodka.The term ‘grandmother’ used to conjure up images of a little, stooped, white-haired old lady.
But this is 2011. Sharon Randall is 46…
Henry Powell had challenged Sharon Randell, 46, outside Tesco’s store in Hamble Lane, Bursledon, when she produced the syringe, telling him: “Don’t come near me or I’ll stab you.
I have HIV.”Oh, lovely!
Randell admitted using threatening words or behaviour and possessing a bladed article. She also pleaded guilty to two counts of battery, and possessing another bladed article which she brought out in the back of a police van after she had been detained for suspected shoplifting at Marks & Spencer.Where had she concealed that, I wonder? Probably wasn’t in her knitting or her copy of ‘The Lady’…
Judge Patrick Hooton told the grandmother-of-four – who had 184 previous convictions: “Goodness knows what young grandchildren think of their grandmother who has become an old lag.”They probably think it’s an aspiration…
He told Randell that she didn’t deserve it, but he would defer sentencing for six months.Why? I mean, what possible reason could you have for it?
Thomas Horder, defending, said Randell had started using drugs when she was 14 but had kept out of trouble from 2009 until last Christmas when her partner – who was sitting by the public gallery in a wheelchair – fell 45ft and broke his neck and back.Hmmm, I wonder what he was doing?
He spent four months in hospital before being released into her care. She became his sole carer but it was a role with which she could not properly cope and she returned to using drugs in February and committing these offences.She’s not going to see a single day in prison, is she?
* No need to thank me for the resulting earworm, it's nearly Christmas, after all... :0
She isn't a grandma in any traditional way. She is a woman who had kids and those offspring in turn had kids.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a word for her kind. I propose: Hagma.
(And no doubt she will become a Great Hagma soon)
I was going to make a feral stereotype joke that she was probably only in her mid 40s, and then I saw that reality has a sense of humour anyway.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a word for her kind.
ReplyDeleteI have two...Unlicensed Breeder.
Guessing that the females in the Randall family start reproducing at about 14, I suspect our Sharon is on the verge of becoming a great-grandma.
ReplyDeleteGood god .. how a place can go down the crapper in just a few years ..
ReplyDeleteBursledon used to be a lovely place .. with a fantastic pub, called "The Lone Barn" inside an original 17th century farm barn, which had been dismantled, brick by brick, timber by timber .. transported from its original site on the Hampshire Downs & lovingly re-assembled ..
They had the largest selection of cheeses I've ever seen anywhere & their "Special Ploughmans" were legendary ..
The place was always popular & I never saw any trouble .. I've had many a good evening in there .. ;)
Captain, I agree, The Lone Barn was a great pub. Many a happy night spent there enjoying the best ploughman's ever.
ReplyDeleteCopenhagen Towers. Not surprising.
Earworm? I have the original on 7" vinyl :-)
ReplyDelete"There should be a word for her kind. I propose: Hagma."
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
"...and then I saw that reality has a sense of humour anyway."
Ain't that the truth... :(
"..I suspect our Sharon is on the verge of becoming a great-grandma."
Ah, that'll be 'great-hagma'.
"Good god .. how a place can go down the crapper in just a few years .."
Tell me about it :(