Sunday 8 January 2012

And It Certainly Won’t Go South Of The River At That Time Of Night!

Accidentally straying into scary areas of town could become a thing of the past, because Microsoft has been awarded a patent for direction-finding technology that finds the safest route to your destination.
And by ‘safest’ they mean ‘not via that hellhole cesspit of deviance and crime downtown where all the underclass live’:
According to the patent, the system will mine crime statistics and only suggest routes where they fall below a certain threshold.
Expecting screams of ‘racist software’ from the ACLU in 5….4….3….
at

9 comments:

  1. Edwin Greenwood8 January 2012 at 11:14

    I wonder if they'll have the balls to include an explicit filter for the ethnicity of the intending pedestrian.

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  2. Anonymous8 January 2012 at 11:28

    No wonder Diane Fattbott can't get a taxi to Hackney..

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  3. Uncle Badger8 January 2012 at 14:59

    A map without Croydon, then....

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  4. Tattyfalarr8 January 2012 at 15:23

    Wellll...If you honestly put any faith in crime statistics you totally deserve to be ripped of your cash by microsoft.

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  5. Bucko8 January 2012 at 16:18

    What if your destination is in a crime ridden area? Will you just be walking round in circles until the battery runs out?

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  6. John Pickworth8 January 2012 at 16:28

    I wonder how long it will be before this system is fitted to all police cars?

    Although, come to think of it... the clever criminal is going to use it find out the supposed 'safe routes' to mug those stupid enough to think they're safe.

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  7. Captain Haddock8 January 2012 at 19:11

    ACLU ... is that short for "Abbott Causes Labour Upset" by talking out of her not inconsiderably sized arse (yet again) ? .. ;)

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  8. blueknight8 January 2012 at 23:03

    an updated knowhere guide if you will....

    http://www.knowhere.co.uk/Croydon/Greater-London/London-and-inside-M25/info/worstthings

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  9. JuliaM9 January 2012 at 05:43

    "A map without Croydon, then...."

    Indeed!

    "What if your destination is in a crime ridden area?"

    Well, the satnav will probably call the police and report you as someone obviously up to no good!

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