Monday, 26 March 2012

Oh Flower Of Scotland Femininity!

Two mothers arranged a fight via Facebook and brawled outside a school after dropping off their children, a court heard yesterday.

Joanna McVey, 25, and Lorraine Couper, 30, fought near Dunblane Primary School after the online dispute.
And, because it was near Dunblane, this little wrinkle is especially apt:
Couper warned McVey that she should bring an AK47 assault rifle with her for the fight.
/facepalm

And, of course, the usual chav reason for the disagreement (or, given it’s Scotland, the usual ned reason):
The dispute apparently started after a falling out over who should have been invited to a party McVey had hosted.
Lovely…
In court yesterday, Emma Whyte, prosecuting, said: ‘On the evening of 13 December, Miss Couper was at home using the internet to access a social networking site….
*sigh*
… ‘The accused was on the same site at her home. A text conversation took place in relation to a party the accused was having. The complainer was angry the accused didn’t invite a mutual friend and the conversation became heated.

‘The next day, the accused challenged the complainer to a fight and said, “Come on, then. We’ll sort this out now. Square go”. The complainer advised the accused she would not fight there but would elsewhere. A short time later, the accused approached Miss Couper and they engaged in a fight.’
Well, since they were both going to be at the school at the same time, why not?
Frazer McCready, defending, said: ‘This involved two women who should have known better and started with name calling over the internet on Facebook.
‘My client took her child to the school and met up with the complainer and it all spilled over.

‘When my client was interviewed by police, she said, “It was a square go, which she wanted. She was the one with the chain and I’m the one with the sore face. I don’t believe I got involved in this”.’
I wish I couldn’t believe it…
Mr McCready said Couper had also been charged by police, ‘but for some reason The Crown decided not to proceed against her’.

Sheriff William Gilchrist fined McVey £190.
That’ll teach them.

9 comments:

  1. Arguing, texting, arranging and then fighting ?

    How very civilised.

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  2. I blame the police!

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  3. I know you read IG Julia so stories like these should not surprise you.

    I've got a woman (in the loosest sense of the word) on bail to me at the moment as she had a fight in Asda with her Aunty who called her fat on facebook.Harsh but fair.They then happened to chance upon each other and fisticuffs ensued.I attended with a heavy heart.

    After investigating I have probably spent half a day fannying about with this case.There were five witnesses and CCTV to trawl through as well as case file preparation.

    If she goes not guilty then that's another day of my life wasted at court.

    Next time you are waiting in all day for the police to attend your burglary,this is what we might be doing.

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  4. See you, Jemima26 March 2012 at 17:22

    In olden times, battles were indeed fought at pre-arranged places. after all, you had to get your troops into position and their swords sharpened.

    We merely see the modern equivalent, with facebook instead of heralds and wi-fi instead of go-betweens.

    But why shouldn't they be allowed to knock seven bells out of each other? They had a mutual issue to resolve and common sense was never part of it, so maybe we should stand back and provide popcorn.

    In the meantime, I wonder what their facebook status is? Bruised and beaten? Or defiant? Mind you, they could be on twitter now... true, 140 characters isn't much room in which to call someone a cow but one can manage if you try

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  5. "Arguing, texting, arranging and then fighting ?

    How very civilised."


    Technology is such a boon, eh? ;)

    "I know you read IG Julia so stories like these should not surprise you."

    Not exactly 'surprise' any more, no...

    "... so maybe we should stand back and provide popcorn."

    Ladbrokes could do with a boost, I suppose.. ;)

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  6. Minor linguistic pendantry.

    Unlike the English 'chav', which applies equally to human vermin of both sexes, the Jockanese 'ned' is a male sex-linked noun. These two delightful specimens of (unfortunately for me) local femininity are correctly described as 'sengas'.

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  7. 'Senga' reminds me of the cute little elephant shrew, the sengi. Mind you, there's something a bit shrewish about these two...

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  8. Couldn't they have just let them get on with it? Mutually assured destruction and all that.

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  9. The two of them should have been sentenced t5o 28 days on (different) islands where there was no internet, and especially facebook, access, where they had to eat the grass and drink out of stinky streams. Thyen they would realise just how lucky they are to have what passes for civilisation. On the other hand, being Scottish, they would probably have been right at home!

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