Three Words. Epic…Mugging…FAIL!

Drunken strangers who joined forces for a succession of hopeless robberies before throwing themselves in Bristol docks – one not able to swim – have been jailed.

Oh, good grief!

Jetenderpal Singh and Jay Pring managed to rob one man but failed dismally to mug two more, Bristol Crown Court was told.

As the pair tried unsuccessfully to rob a third man, saying they had a knife, their previous unsuccessful target strolled up and told them: "Make up your mind. Was it a knife or a gun?"

SNORK!

They were then…

… chased by police and flung themselves in the harbour before being "fished out" and arrested.

I have to wonder why anyone bothered to fish them out?

Martin Lanchester, defending Pring, said his client was thoroughly ashamed.

Mr Lanchester said Pring had drank heavily, gone missing after an argument with his girlfriend, and carried out the muggings even though he had no money worries.

"Mr Pring doesn't remember what he did," he said. "He remembers being on the run.

"That gives an idea of the control he had that evening, because he can't swim. There was no knife and no gun."

Well, of course. It’s always the demon drink’s fault, isn’t it?

Mael Worsley, defending Singh, said his client was a well-educated man who had worked for both the inland revenue and BT.

He said Singh may have a "Walter Mitty side" and had to learn to control it before it ruined his life.

If Singh is so ‘well educated’, why did he pick such a doofus for a partner in crime?