Sunday 1 April 2012

Are We Sure The Holes Weren’t Made By Ruth Badger?


Oh my god, they’re the size of elephants*!

More than a dozen setts of giant badgers have left families in a quiet Midland cul de sac fearing for their homes after digging up gardens and threatening building foundations.

The badgers have caused havoc in one residential street where the boundary walls were formed from a natural sandstone cliff and they have dug holes large enough for grown men to climb through.
Hmmmm…..
Another said that the animals, part of the weasel family…
Oh, blimey! The work experience lad is on Wiki again…
… have left his garden looking like a bomb site and he is now worried they might tunnel through the structures of his house.
And to think we spent all that money on that Channel Tunnel digger!
Dudley Council leader Les Jones said a badger unit had been set up to look at the problem.
Well, of course!

* inset(t) images may not be to scale
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10 comments:

  1. Pavlov's Cat1 April 2012 at 12:22

    Story could only be improved if they were GIANT NAZI BADGERS

    Although I'm at a loss for the description 'Giant' is it some new sub species or more likely having seen one 'live' and close up and not on the telly box realised they are bloody big things

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  2. Anonymous1 April 2012 at 14:39

    MUTANT GIANT NAZI BADGERS surely?

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  3. Mrs Erdleigh1 April 2012 at 14:57

    Ooh. Megashark vs Giant Nazi Badger, give it a few months and that'll be on the SyFy channel. :-)

    Settles down with popcorn.

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  4. Anonymous1 April 2012 at 17:06

    Sorry...MUTANT NINJA GIANT NAZI BADGERS!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1 April 2012 at 18:06

    A doubly capital howler, Ranter.

    Even funnier knowing you are typing trouserless....on account of that stiff neck from a shirtless Monday.

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  6. Anonymous1 April 2012 at 18:15

    @ranter

    Surely they would be - GIANT MUTANT ZOMBIE NINJA NAZI CLOWN BADGERS?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Uncle Badger1 April 2012 at 18:35

    Do you lot mind?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lerxst1 April 2012 at 22:13

    GIANT MUTANT ZOMBIE NINJA NAZI CLOWN UNCLE BADGERS?

    ReplyDelete
  9. JuliaM2 April 2012 at 05:51

    "Although I'm at a loss for the description 'Giant'..."

    I can only assume it's a reference to the 'holes big enough for a man to climb in' in the sandstone (Hey, 'Mail', a clue?) earth, but maybe they've just taken to having pizza delivered, instead?

    "Ooh. Megashark vs Giant Nazi Badger, give it a few months and that'll be on the SyFy channel. :-)"

    Quite!

    "Do you lot mind?!"

    :D

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  10. Anonymous2 April 2012 at 12:22

    I could have done with the help of these badgers a couple of years back to undermine my anti-social, criminal scum neighbours! Mind you, the scrote did a pretty good job themselves - the house had to be gutted, re-wired and re-roofed with the chimney taken down after they left!

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