Whew! Dodged A Bullet There, Recorder Bartlett!

Recorder Bartlett told him: 'When I came into court I thought I would have to pass a prison sentence you would serve immediately.

'You have breached community orders, bail, and driving orders.'

Oh noes! Surely not...a prison sentence! This one hasn't racked up nearly enough convictions, surely?

How awful for you, Bartlett! Do you need counselling?

Yes, I know the habitual criminal in front of you led police on a high speed chase along the wrong side of a dual carriageway while smoking cannabis but surely you won't be forced to send him to prison?

'But your solicitor has made the telling point that people with your history of bad driving and bad criminal behaviour don't reform overnight.

'They need a lot of help and encouragement and they get that from the probation service - long may it remain so.'

Whew! The defence to the rescue! Lucky for you they always have such plausible excuses, eh?

'In the circumstances, having agonised about this - and I don't think anyone could criticise me for giving you a ten months sentence to serve straightaway - I am going to suspend it.'

He added: 'I am not all that confident that you are going to make it work but I hope so.'

Well, I think you're wrong about no-one criticising you for it, but it's nice to see you have hope. We all need hope, don't we, Recorder Bartlett?

Lodge, who posed for photographers outside court, was also banned from driving for three years, ordered to do 60 hours unpaid work and attend a 22-day 'thinking skills' programme.

Oh, how nice to see the 'Thinking Skills' course again!

Hopefully, when he attends it, they'll tell him that if you are going to 'pose for photos as you leave court', it's a good idea to feign remorse:

Remorse FAIL!