"You....shall not....PASS!"
...a series of floral displays is at the heart of the Home Office's new beefed-up security measures at the UK Border Agency's Lunar House headquarters in Wellesley Road.
A planning application submitted to Croydon Council upon "Home Office instruction", shows 27 one-metre tall, two-metre wide plant pots are to be strategically placed around the building "for security purposes".You're kidding me?
But the Home Office was this week tight-lipped on the pots' purpose, saying only: "We don't comment on the measures we take for security reasons so that people who might wish to do us harm are not aware of why we are taking steps to secure buildings."*boggle*
Triffids?
ReplyDeleteTriffids ??
ReplyDeleteIt's not the plants, it's the plant pots. Just bollards in a fancy expensive (though at least not offensive to the eye) format.
ReplyDeleteStating the obvious, I know, but I think its more the pots rather than the contents.
ReplyDeleteJust wondering if they're expecting a 'high-speed vehicular request to reconsider a decision' by one of the 'religion of peace' adherents (as the only ones who go in for that sort of thing).
The funny thing is, siting the 'protection' so close to the building (and doors) is a complete waste of time, or haven't they heard the term 'blast radius'?
Publicising it just means they'll see the 'Fail' and/or consider turning up to work (since a sizeable proportion of those employed in Immigration are foreign born, who amazingly always have family/friends/neighbours/customers that get granted admission) in one of those natty sew-up-the-back-C4-padded-gillets that are so fashionable in certain circles nowadays.
Cynical? Who, me?
"We want... a shrubbery!"
ReplyDeleteRight now Al'Kebab are crossing out car bomb, suicide vest and dirty bomb... instead they're sending young Muktad down to B&Q for some weedkiller.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, are we allowed to be discussing the Government's pansies here? Surely an Official Secret.
I wish I had got in to the plant pot business and thought of that spiel.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be block paving all over again where I failed to get in at the er, roots.
What happens if you need to vacate the building in a hurry and the plant pots hinder the exit of the staff in wheel chairs?
ReplyDelete"We want... a shrubbery!"
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, it is redolent of Monty Python is it not? Perhaps the intention is to defend against a maniac wielding a leek, or some other lethal vegetable. Fight like with like and all that...
Given their record in recent years, the only thing the Jihadis will be dropping off to them will be thank you notes.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if you need to vacate the building in a hurry...
ReplyDeleteIf you're on the outside then hopefully you've got your iPhone with you and the email address of You've Been Framed? If you're on the inside... well, I'm told toasted Chrysanthemums smell rather nice, so its not all bad news.
"Anyway, are we allowed to be discussing the Government's pansies here?
ReplyDeleteYep...there's no such thing as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" here. Here, they like to be talked about. Nay, demand it.
In the proper way, of course, so just beware third-party offence. Oh, and making homophobic jokes about pansies :)
/shields up...
UK Border Agency's Lunar House headquarters in Wellesley Road
ReplyDeleteMind boggles.
"Just bollards in a fancy expensive (though at least not offensive to the eye) format."
ReplyDeleteAh, but just wait until the denizens of Croydon have filled them with empty beer cans and kebab wrappers..
"The funny thing is, siting the 'protection' so close to the building (and doors) is a complete waste of time, or haven't they heard the term 'blast radius'?"
I think they are more concerned with keeping any such vehicle out of the lobby...
""We want... a shrubbery!""
Heh! That would've made a better post title...
"What happens if you need to vacate the building in a hurry and the plant pots hinder the exit of the staff in wheel chairs?"
Oooh, good point!
"Given their record in recent years, the only thing the Jihadis will be dropping off to them will be thank you notes."
ReplyDelete*glum face*
"Mind boggles."
Is is singularly appropriate, isn't it?