A DIY enthusiast said to have accidentally chopped off his big toe went out and stole a saw after he was released from hospital, a court heard.I...
I just...
Dad-of-two Martin Roy Blenkinsopp, 40, had cut through the bone of his toe with an angle grinder.
He then ‘taped it back on’ himself and sat in the house for two days because he had a ‘morbid fear’ of hospitals.Not, sadly, a morbid fear of courts:
The defendant had a criminal record and had just completed a suspended sentence, the court heard.Shocker, eh?
I hope he is suitably grateful to the friend who eventually dragged him to the hospital and probably saved him from fatal blood poisoning.
ReplyDelete'If there is one device that has 'Darwin Award' written all over it, it is surely the angle grinder (see here and here, for examples).'
(recycled from a post in November 2012 and as true now as it ever was)
You have to admit, though, this story does have a certain je nais se quoi
ReplyDelete"Burnley magistrates heard on January 20, his partner said they had run out of hand rolling tobacco and he managed to get a wellington on his injured foot and went out in the snow"
Such sacrifice - at 2:30AM!
Nuffink too much for a devoted family man eh?
"He wanted some fresh air, went past past Matalan and saw the plastic box through the hole in the fence."
Damn good eyesight too!
"The defendant had a rucksack and stolen property was found"
Ahhhhh - not "going equipped" of course, he probably just needed to carry rather a lot of rolling baccy
Bunny,
ReplyDeleteIt is one of those issues where a magistrate should say, 'you are devoid of any common sense and are utterly useless, therefore it gives us no pleasure to sentence you to death and we are firmly of the belief that the collective IQ of Colne will increase slightly.'
Colne?
ReplyDeleteOh that explains a lot.
Over 20 years ago they built the M65 so people could escape the place. Clearly those left behind found the big road too scary or difficult to navigate.
It's called the M65 is it?
ReplyDeleteI thought it was "The road to Boundary Mill"
Gosh. An utter moron.
ReplyDelete"I hope he is suitably grateful to the friend who eventually dragged him to the hospital and probably saved him from fatal blood poisoning."
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure I am!
"Ahhhhh - not "going equipped" of course, he probably just needed to carry rather a lot of rolling baccy"
Yes. That must be it.
"Colne?
Oh that explains a lot."
Not a place I'm familiar with...
Not a place I'm familiar with...
ReplyDeleteMight just be me, but on the rare occasion I've been there I swear I can hear the sound of banjos (Deliverance style) being carried on the wind.