School Run, ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Style

Ian Shields hit a parked van so hard it was knocked diagonally across Little Green Lane, in York, narrowly missed a telegraph pole and struck a cyclist’s wheel in Tudor Road, said Bronia Hartley, prosecuting.

He drove on the wrong side of the road so wildly onlookers thought he had lost control of the vehicle and then it mounted the pavement and crashed into a tree.

He plucked a child who was sitting in the front passenger seat and fled with her into his home in Tudor Road, claiming his wife would “sort the car out”.

Well, certainly someone should:

The Nissan Almera had no MoT certificate, Shields was not insured to drive it and he had not properly demisted the windscreen after a freezing night.

About the only thing he didn't do was beat a hooker with a baseball bat & steal her money!

Neal Kutte, representing Shields, said he had committed a “major error of judgement”, and panicked when he hit the van. He had thought he was insured because he had relied on his partner to arrange the car insurance, he said.

Oh, right! So it’s all the fault of the wife and partner.

I'm assuming by that he means business partner. Although these days, who can say?

He was given an eight-month jail term, suspended for 18 months on condition he does 18 months’ supervision, goes on a rehabilitation course and does 80 hours’ unpaid work. He was also banned from driving for 18 months and ordered to take an extended driving test and pay a £100 victim surcharge.

And the £1,200 in income that the van driver lost while his van was off the road for eight days?

*shrug*