Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Now All We Need Is For Some Bright Spark...

...to watch the movie 'Fortress' and take this to its logical conclusion:
A prolific thief has been jailed after being caught red-handed – thanks to the electronic tag he was wearing that let police know his exact location.
Where do we find crims that dim? Well, where else?
Glen Foster was one of a handful of hardened criminals in Hull who agreed to wear a new ankle bracelet so officers could use the latest GPS software to pinpoint his location at all times.
You'd have to be spectacularly dim to then commit crime, but, well...
Foster’s tag allowed Humberside Police to track down the 38-year-old after reports that someone had been looking into cars. He was found with an armoury of lockbreaking tools, including torches, pliers, a screwdriver and even the keys to three corned beef tins.
Ahahahahahahahaha!
Despite the case, the tags are being hailed a success – and officers now want to buy 20 more as they believe they help to cut crime and save money.
There is also ‘huge demand’ from offenders themselves for the new technology. Detective Inspector Darren Webb, the officer in charge of the trial, said: ‘We have them coming to us now because they have seen how it helps other people.’
And lazy cops...
at

9 comments:

  1. Clarissa15 May 2013 at 12:36

    Who needs ID Cards when you can just implant a tracking chip soon after birth and monitor the entire population 24/7/365...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woman on a Raft15 May 2013 at 12:47

    It is very difficult to break in to corned beef tins, even for professionals.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous15 May 2013 at 22:15

    Lazy cops? If a criminal is stupid enough to wear a tag and then commit crime then who are we to argue?
    No doubt this is somehow the police's fault.
    Jaded

    ReplyDelete
  4. John Pickworth15 May 2013 at 22:18

    Not sure he'd needed the corned beef tin keys? I once left a tin parked on my drive and next morning it had been stolen... and yet the keys where still safely hanging in the hall. The police were baffled.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JuliaM16 May 2013 at 05:34

    "Who needs ID Cards when you can just implant a tracking chip soon after birth and monitor the entire population 24/7/365..."

    Would you trust the government to do that successfully?

    "It is very difficult to break in to corned beef tins, even for professionals."

    :D

    "No doubt this is somehow the police's fault."

    The problem, Jaded, is when the police start to over-rely on this, and lose their ability (and desire) to return to old-fashioned copperin' when the technology (inevitably) fails...

    ".. and yet the keys where still safely hanging in the hall."

    Heh!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous16 May 2013 at 10:45

    I must stop using those pesky new innovations at work like fingerprints,DNA and CCTV.Back to phone calls from snouts and beating confessions out of suspects!

    ReplyDelete
  7. John Pickworth16 May 2013 at 17:22

    "... and beating confessions out of suspects!"

    You might be busy. The police SOP these days is that EVERYONE is a suspect, even when proved innocent.

    Mind how you go.

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  8. Anonymous16 May 2013 at 20:50

    EVERYONE in large letters for extra emphasis.Just in case anyone missed it.
    Have you really got no sense of humour or are you so full of spite?
    Mind how YOU go.
    Jaded

    ReplyDelete
  9. John Pickworth17 May 2013 at 16:24

    Have you really got no sense of humour...?

    That's rich.

    Try putting a smile on your face - or crayon on a big crescent of red lipstick - and then reading my comment again.

    Here's a clue Defective Inspector Jaded, its called irony. Similar to the metal your night sticks are made of... although I hear Anne Summers do some lady versions in plastic/rubber.

    Apologies for the use of large letters. I guess I'm just compensating for my particularly small Ferrari - its a man thing, don't you know.

    ReplyDelete