Friday, 5 July 2013

“Yes, Madam, Never Mind Your Cat Stuck Up A Tree & Your Shed Being Ablaze, Have You Tried Nicorette?”

All Merton fire fighters have recently completed their NHS level one intervention training, which means that they now have the knowledge to direct smokers towards the LiveWell stop smoking service, run by Merton Council.
I…

I just…

Words fail me. I bet they won’t fail Leg-Iron or Dick Puddlecote though!

How come doctors kick up an almighty stink when the state asks them to check eligibility for NHS treatment  but the emergency services don't mind at all being turned into health advice outreach?
Smoking is the primary cause of accidental fires and the brigade conducts more than 800 home visits per year.
With this added training the health and wellbeing of the residents concerned can be improved through signposting them towards this free six week programme.
Because of course it’s all about safeguarding the ‘health and well-being of the residents’, isn't it? And nothing at all to do with conditioning the populace to believe that there's nothing wrong with agents of the state prying into your affairs and giving you unwanted advice...
Cabinet member for adult social care and health, Councillor Linda Kirby said: "Smoking has a major impact on a person’s health and working with our colleagues in the Fire Service will help us spread the message that we have an excellent service ready to support residents to stop smoking."
Oh, right. I forgot 'And ensuring we can still supply employment for a steady stream of nannies, prodnoses and fussbuckets while our core business - keeping the bins emptied and the roads passable - goes to hell in a handcart'.
at

12 comments:

  1. Fidel Cuntstruck5 July 2013 at 11:35

    I was once told (by someone involved the the supply of services to GPs) that GPs get a fee for giving you smoking advice. Whether or not this is still true I don't know - but it seems to have become standard practice for the GPs to protest vehemently against any extra workload until an acceptable fee is agreed.

    I'm sure that the Councils see the same opportunity, especially under iDave's "Big Society" malarkey, and any extra work that can be found to prevent cuts will be grabbed up - notwithstanding that the rest of their services are a joke (Oh, but that's a different department)

    And who better to sell it to Joe Public than your local friendly Fireman? after all, he's used to being abused when he tries to help people isn't he? So while the Council apparatchik can tick more diversity boxes in the comfort of their Office, poor old Fireman Sam gets the excrement covered end of the stick.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ageing man5 July 2013 at 11:48

    Julia take my advice..... sit down have a fag and you'll feel sooooo much better...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Simon Cooke5 July 2013 at 14:10

    Don't I have rights to the phrase "nannying fussbuckets"?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Joe Public5 July 2013 at 14:40

    People are ".......the primary cause of accidental fires"

    So next week's Education & Training for Firefighters will be on marketing for the Birth Control & Abortion Clinics in the borough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. James Higham5 July 2013 at 19:26

    Wonder what level two comprises?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Twenty_Rothmans5 July 2013 at 20:29

    FC - yes.

    http://www.pulsetoday.co.uk/paying-gps-a-bonus-if-smokers-give-up-cost-effective/10998409.article#.UdcY2nypJRA

    They should try to cure homosexuality. AIDs is more expensive than emphysema.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5 July 2013 at 22:09

    If you wonder where that ambulance has got to, just be assured that some GPs are making a small fortune out of the utterly fucking useless '111' out of hours GP service line, an ever increasing amount of ambulance resources is spent on clinical call back facilities once people who need help dial '111' speak to a poorly paid west african who calls an ambulance..........as for the bollocks, it seems senior fire service managers have been well infected with the virus affecting all public sector institutions and their leftist PC philosophy

    ReplyDelete
  8. Furor Teutonicus6 July 2013 at 06:11

    XX Words fail me. I bet they won’t fail Leg-Iron or Dick Puddlecote though! XX

    Me neither;

    "FUCK RIGHT OFF you mother shagging pile of wank buckets!"

    And if THAT does not work, a punch in the nose and a kick in the bollox sends the message better than Interflora EVER could.

    There NOW I feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lord T6 July 2013 at 11:24

    Your article has a couple of factual errors in it.

    Prodnosing and giving unwanted advice is your councils core business. Bins and the other stuff is secondary.

    ReplyDelete
  10. John6 July 2013 at 16:08

    The day when Robocop shoots the cigarette out of the bystander's mouth whilst letting the robber get away moves closer...

    ReplyDelete
  11. JuliaM7 July 2013 at 06:18

    "...but it seems to have become standard practice for the GPs to protest vehemently against any extra workload until an acceptable fee is agreed."

    'Extra'? It seems to be the norm now that you have to pony up more cash to get them to do their existing job!

    "Don't I have rights to the phrase "nannying fussbuckets"?"

    You should, you'd make a fortune!

    "Wonder what level two comprises?"

    Giving you two leaflets?

    ReplyDelete
  12. JuliaM7 July 2013 at 06:19

    ".. it seems senior fire service managers have been well infected with the virus affecting all public sector institutions and their leftist PC philosophy"

    I'm not sure many escaped.

    "Prodnosing and giving unwanted advice is your councils core business. Bins and the other stuff is secondary."

    Heh! Sadly true!

    ReplyDelete