It's Schrödinger's Stabbing!

Kane Ellis, 24, whose father is Basildon Ukip councillor Mark Ellis, was somehow injured at Unit 7 in Basildon’s Festival Leisure Park.

He needed 18 stitches on his lower back, but the club have insisted CCTV shows he simply fell on a set of stairs.

Eh..?

A spokesman for Unit 7 said: “The safety and enjoyment of our customers is always our main priority and we operate a stringent door policy, which includes searching all customers on entry and re-entry to the venue.

Right, right. Sure. Prisons have an even stricter policy, yet weapons still get in!

“Further to discussions with the police and an environmental health officer, we do not believe there is evidence that the customer was stabbed in the club.

“The customer couldn’t recall what happened on the night, but having reviewed CCTV footage, it appears that he fell on the stairs, which resulted in him sustaining an injury.

What the hell are your stairs made from!?

“When we were made aware of the injury, we did everything we could to support and care for him, including our head doorman taking him to hospital to get his wound treated.”

Wouldn't an ambulance have been advisable? Still, I guess if you say it's not a stabbing, who could disagree with y...

Oh!

An Essex Police spokesman said: “We are investigating a report that a man was stabbed in in the back with an unknown item, at a club in Basildon on December 17.”

Gosh! So, which is it?