I Hope Those 23 Weeks Feel Like 23 Years....

...and if the other prisoners get their hands on you, that's a given:

Callum Gerken, 27, of Wood Farm, Oxford, appeared in Oxford Magistrates' Court earlier to face a trial for attacking Shadow, a 17-week-old labrador he was meant to be looking after.

Gerken, who had previously denied the charge, had a last-minute change of heart and admitted causing the dog unnecessary suffering and a separate charge of sending a threatening message over WhatsApp.

I expect the 'change of heart' is more 'advised about reality by solicitor' as there's no evidence this thing has one.

Gerken was in a house in Saunders Road, East Oxford, on April 3, when he got angry at the puppy for defecating inside and ruining items in the house by tearing them up. He started repeatedly hitting her with a slipper.

Later, when she was struggling to breathe as a result of his actions, he refused to get her medical help.

The court heard how Gerken had sent an angry voice message over Whatsapp to the puppy's owner in which he said the puppy had 'sh*t everywhere'.

The message continued: "I have just beat her from one side of the room to the other. "I don't give a f**k. That is how it will be with me. She ain't gonna do that again because she cannot f**king walk."

He was also initially charged with assaulting a woman, the puppy's owner who'd clearly had the lack of sense to hook up with this walking piece of excrement, but the charges were inexplicably dropped.

Gerken's solicitor, Richard Davies, told the court his client felt shame and remorse for what he had done and that the act was completely out of character.

He should be done for perjury too! He's always been scum, as we can see from this news item in 2008:

Callum Gerken, 16, and Jake Gerken, 14, from Forest Hill, have been given two-year antisocial behaviour orders (Asbo) banning them from entering Risinghurst.

They are also banned from using threatening behaviour or violence, or intimidating, abusing or swearing at any member of the public in England and Wales.

The hearing at Oxford Magistrates' Court on Monday also imposed an order on the brothers' parents to control their children's behaviour.

Clearly, they didn't rise to the challenge.

Magistrates sentenced him to serve 23 weeks in prison, and he must pay £250 compensation and £1,000 court costs.

He'll probably have to spend those weeks in solitary, which is a pity, as it means no-one will be able to beat him from one side of the cell to another.