The Fact It's Bred Gives Me Depression...

Jason Patel, defending, said the 26-year-old accepted the number of offences meant he was facing an inevitable prison sentence. Mr Patel said the father-of-one, has depression and ADHD.

Of course he does... 

Mr Patel added: "He is young man with a poor record with assaults - he clearly needs to address that behaviour."

While Magistrates were deliberating, Bell held up notes to the videolink camera in the booth at HMP Hewell. And when Jonathan Wiltshire, chairman of the magistrates, returned prison staff explained Bell had left the room as he had sliced his leg open with his blood on the floor.

As one of the comments notes, what a pity it wasn't his throat.  

After Bell returned to be sentenced the chairman said the offences were "serious enough" for them to give him a prison sentence, jailing him for a total of 352 days. Bell was ordered to pay compensation of £50 to all the assault victims, £250 to the victims of the car damage, and told to pay a victim surcharge of £187.

Bell said "I'm not that rich" as he learned he would have to pay a total of £1,237. After leaving the booth at the prison Bell was then ordered to return back, the chairman explaining the bench had heard him swearing.

 Back to the comments for one that sums this sorry tale up:

 /applause