Oh, If Only There'd Been Some Signs Of Impending Disaster...

So, the 'oh he collapsed before the dog panicked and attacked' excuse didn't wash at the coroner's inquest: 

Ian Symes, who weighed 7st 12 lbs and was 5ft 10ins, was walking the 'powerful' American Bully XL at a public park in Fareham, Hampshire when it overpowered him, the hearing was told.

The Bully XL - which shares DNA with banned American Pit Bull Terriers - reverted to its 'aggressive' natural instincts and repeatedly bit down on Mr Symes' neck after he began playing with it.

Youngsters saw Mr Symes screaming for help and being mauled to death, it was heard.

God, what a thing to witness. But how could this all go so wrong? 

The 34-year-old had been looking after the seemingly 'soppy and friendly' dog named 'Kong' for a friend, who bought it the day before over Snapchat from travellers without any paperwork.

Oh...  

Kong had been kept in kennels at the travellers site and was dehydrated and being toileted on a balcony when he arrived at Mr Jones' flat.

*blinks* 

Dr d'Sa said a tea-towel found next the dog and Mr Symes' body may have been used for 'ragdoll-like' play, which she said was dangerous. Dr d'Sa said: 'I believe it was a play exercise that got out of hand and turned into predatory behaviour very quickly.'

And yet he was supposedly 'experienced with dogs'. You have to wonder what - specifically - he was experienced in, don't you?  

Dr d'Sa, who was hired by police to work on the case, told the inquest: 'He had an exceptionally large mouth and an exceptionally powerful jaw.

'He was so easily aroused by toys that play quickly became aggressive.

'The difference in what we did and what he did... I had the dog on a rope-chain, the dog had a muzzle, and I had an expert handler and the police there.'

Armed police, I hope, for your sake... 

At the inquest, Kong's owner Mr Jones - 20 at the time - said it was bigger than he expected when he bought it. He said: 'He looked smaller in the pictures, I was quite surprised by how big he was.

'He did pull quite a lot, I did struggle to walk him, I was a bit worried about that.'

This new information makes the decision not to charge this brainless moron even more suspect, doesn't it?