He Was Rumbled Because Of His Bedside Manner...

...it was so much better than the real staff. So he stood out!

The flagship £575million complex he is accused of accessing includes the Royal Hospital for Children, the Queen Elizabeth Maternity Unit and two Accident and Emergency units.

Woods, of Greenock, is said to have claimed he was a charge nurse, repeatedly gaining access to the resuscitation and children's areas of the hospital...

If he really wanted access to children, he should have put on a wig and lipstick, of course. That way, the State would fully support his right to claim to be something he's not.