Recorder Richard Bond said he was considering a custodial sentence or a suspended sentence with treatment on a sex offenders’ course.SNORK!
‘One of the questions I ask myself is whether if I send him to prison for a short sentence he’ll be out in a flash,’ he added.
So much hilarity in this one, it's hard to know where to start!
ReplyDeleteSounds like an episode of Beachcomber as done by Spike Milligan for starters...
court reports, often involving Twelve Red-Bearded Dwarfs before Mr Justice Cocklecarrot.
He covered his lap with a bowler hat he had been wearing and fondled himself.
He denied this, and claimed the hat was not on the overhead racks because he couldn’t reach them. Yesterday, when he stood in the witness box, he could barely be seen.
And the hat is described as a Juggler's hat in the intro to the article. Not much of a juggler is he, if he can only keep two balls in the air at once?
All she had to do was say excuse me I need to get past, and if she met any resistence, punch down hard on the jiggling juggling hat and say...
Oops I slipped, terribly sorry!
Girls of my generation, when they encountered a flasher, as they occasionally did, came out with lines like " Yes? and what am I supposed to be looking at?" or "Hold it right there whilst I get out my magnifying glass".
....he foolishly handcuffed Chezenko's hands in front where he produced further damning evidence of indecent exposure including 'the last turkey in the shop'...
ReplyDelete- Spike Milligan
"So much hilarity in this one, it's hard to know where to start!"
ReplyDeleteIt's the kind of story news editors dream about, isn't it?