"No Reality Please, We're Squeamish!"

The dog walker, 50, who lives near Ashridge, says she entered the wood – which is home to Fallow and Muntjac deer – just after 11am to find the two men with guns ‘covered in blood’.

After becoming concerned, she took some pictures of them, prompting one of them to come over and say he was going to film her.

She told Metro.co.uk: ‘This man had blood all over his hands, up his arms, on his clothing and all on his boots.

‘You have to think of the bigger picture here, a woman on her own walking a dog and he comes over saying he’s going to film me.’

Well, you were taking pictures of him, weren't you, love? So...why shouldn't he?

After the man told her he had been contracted by the National Trust to cull deer, the woman realised a dead deer was behind him.

As she called the Ashridge Estate to complain about the situation, the men allegedly began cutting up the animal in front of her, hacking off its leg.

Heh! How does she think her joint of meat ends up in Waitrose, all nicely wrapped in plastic? Does she think it grows like that?

She said: ‘They’d taken the stomach of the animal out while I was standing there.

‘I looked over his shoulder and the other one started to drag it off – a little black deer. It’s absolutely horrendous, the stuff of nightmares.

‘Ok, they’re culling deer but why are they out in one of the most popular dog-walking parts of Ashridge at lunchtime? It’s just not on.

‘I could have had a child with me. It’s horrendous that they’re allowed to do that.’

In listing this tale of woe, the photo editor's apprentice was obviously instructed to get a picture of a deer from the photobank. You know, for all those other readers who, like this hysteric, weren't aware of reality.

Don't think they were culling American whitetail in Ashridge, chum...

For once, they didn't immediately apologise. They defended their actions:

Mr Fletcher added that safety must come first while culling and deer cullers normally do their best to close parks or work early in the morning avoid public upset.

However, he argues ‘it’s good for people to understand what’s going on’.

He said: ‘In an area with a lot of walking around, it may be difficult to try and find a time where it’s possible to do it without people seeing it. My feeling is people ought to know about it and the more they see of it, the better.’

A little education is good for the soul, no?