Jury Nullification..?

It was suggested to Moloney that the man was at a ‘point of surrender’...

Heh! I'm not surprised. Don't mess with an Essex bird on the Tube, chum!

But seriously, it's very hard to see how, having seen the video, the jury could have decided the way they did. The offence is clear, and the prevailing opinion has always been - up to now, anyway - that the 'racial' part of that offence is caused if it's taken that way by the recipient.

Is this a sign that juries are no longer prepared to put up with this nonsense? I do hope so...

Under cross-examination she claimed to regret not attempting to leave the train or reporting the abuse.

Curious phrasing. I look forward to seeing it inserted into news reports of all those underclass mitigation efforts of which I seem to have an inexhaustible supply...

Post Title Of The Month

For the second month running, 'Counting Cats...' runs away with it:

Quote Of The Month

Leg-Iron explodes the 'exploding e-cig' story:

Even accounting for the Mail’s notorious twisting of facts and spinning their own agenda, the idea that someone would charge a battery using their car battery instead of the mains is, in itself, utterly bizarre.

I know Maesycwmmer. Used to pass through often when travelling between the side I lived on (Pontllanfraith) and the places many of my mates lived (Ystrad Mynach, Hengoed and Fleur-de-Lys). I went that way to go through the old railway tunnel – now closed off permanently but not filled in so if you have one of the houses built on top, tread softly. The time I lived in Cefn Fforest did not lend itself to going that way, it was much too far in the wrong direction. So I have a link to the area and the people (I’m related to lots of them) and even with that link, I still don’t believe this story is real.

I call bovine rear extrusions on this one.

Post Of The Month

Longrider lays into the bureaucrats who demand everyone, everywhere, must have an ology...

Unions In Actually Doing Some Good SHOCK!

GMB and Unite have pledged their support for the lobby group Unchain the Brighton Motorist. The group is organising opposition to Brighton and Hove City Council’s 20 miles per hour speed zones and high parking charges.

The national executive leadership of both unions has endorsed the move.

Well, there’s a surprise! Actually doing something useful.

Mind you, it wasn’t the only surprise:

Mike Hildreth, GMB union secretary for taxi drivers, said the union is responding on behalf of its 15,000 members in Sussex and the 7,000 members in Brighton and Hove.

He said the move also has the backing of the Sudanese Taxi Forum, Independent Taxi Drivers and members of the Arab Taxi Association.

The…the what?!?

While We're On The Subject Of Local Newspaper Headlines...

...this one's a beaut!

...at Friday’s hearing Burgess, 68, begged magistrates not to put her beloved pooch down - blaming Daisy her Jack Russell, who also chased the cyclists, for egging on the border collie.

“Daisy is harmless and not bitey,” she said. “But she’s always telling her big friend to do things.”

*boggle*

Mind you, it's not going to beat this one:

*double boggle*

H/T: anon in comments and CJ Nerd via email

Really, The 'Brighton' Is Superfluous...

...I mean, where else would you get a story like this?

Taxonomy With The 'Daily Mail' - A Regular Series...

They are at it again...

The herd of African Buffalo had been feeding on the open savannah when they were approached by the pack of lions.

That line is so full of FAIL! I don't even know where to start...

And the group looked on in amazement as one lioness stalked up to a pair of buffalo.

/facepalm. 'She's' a he...!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

Hurrah, we're Number One..!

Frankly, Yes. And Long May It Remain So…

A leading UK human rights charity has claimed there is a campaign of intimidation of human rights workers going on at UK borders…

Really? Why?

… after the Terrorism Act was used to detain a Yemeni activist at Gatwick.

Ah. Of course. Who happened to work for that very same charity.

Baraa Shiban, a respected human rights activist who works in Yemen as a project co-ordinator for the London-based legal charity Reprieve and was travelling to London to speak at an event, said he was held for an hour on Monday night and questioned about his work and political views.

Reprieve, the charity founded by the odious Clive Stafford-Smith and dedicated to ensuring scumbags go free, or live behind bars rather than be put to death. Well, for once, the UKBA is on the ball.

And I don't say that often.

Shiban said: "I was stunned when the border agent said I was being held simply because I came from Yemen. It was even more shocking when he spent the entire time asking me about my human rights work and about Reprieve, the charity I work for.

"Is the UK the kind of place that human rights activists are fair game for detention, intimidation and interrogation?"

Let's hope so, in your case!

Maybe The Government Is Getting Something Right After All..?

Seen as one of the country's leading civil rights chambers and led by Michael Mansfield, Tooks worked with the Lawrences on an inquiry into Stephen's 1993 death.

…

In a statement the firm said: "The dissolution of chambers is the direct result of government policies on Legal Aid.

"The public service we provide is dependent on public funding. Ninety per cent of our work is publicly funded. The government policies led by Justice Secretary Chris Grayling are cumulatively devastating the provision of legal services and threatening the rule of law."

Oh, dear. No more free lunch on the taxpayer while you work to destroy our justice system…

I knew it was worth keeping this graphic around...

Yes, I’ve Noticed That Trend…

John Singleton, the Oscar-nominated director of Boyz n the Hood, has warned of the "latent racism" in the Hollywood studio system, pointing to …

You'll never guess!

…a "troubling trend" of hiring white directors to tell "black stories".

I've noticed a troubling trend too - hiring Earthlings to tell stories about those from other planets. This must stop, people! It's discrimination!

The 2 Fast 2 Furious filmmaker said the commercial success of white-directed "black films" such as The Help and baseball drama 42 was making it "harder rather than easier for African-American writers and directors to find work".

 Oh? Well, maybe we should do someth...

Oh:

This year - which has seen box office success for The Butler, critical acclaim for Fruitvale Station, and Oscar buzz for Steve McQueen’s 12 Years A Slave – has been a banner year for black directors.

I guess not.

It’s A Brilliant Plan, ACPO!

A five-year firearms or shotgun certificate currently costs £50, yet police forces estimate they cost around £200 each to process the paperwork and ensure the guns are being stored safely.

Well, yes, but then, as we saw with the number of people they send to handle a drunk, they may not be the most efficient bunch of people in the world.

Chief Constable Marsh said: “Fees levied to administer firearms licensing have not changed in more than ten years and it is recognised that they are not sufficient to cover the costs associated with the process.

“As such we do have a proposal submitted to the Home Office to increase fees in licensing.”

Couldn't you just cut your costs? Well, of course not. This is the public sector, after all..

Sporting gun users immediately said they feared the move was a backdoor attempt to cut the number of gun owners in the country.

Yup! I bet EssexHunter and Bucko have their eyes on this one.

Mike Yardley, spokesman for the Shooting Sports Trust, said lawful gun owners were already tired of being confused with criminals and said a cost hike would hit young shooters hardest.

…

He said the licensing system worked well, but said that the great majority of shooting deaths involved illegal weapons, rather than licensed ones.

Why should the police care about that, though?

Well, There’s Always A First Time…

Magistrates did not ban Adams from keeping pets because he does not having (sic) a history of animal cruelty.

…and as first times go, that’s quite a head start, no?

There's No 'I' In 'Team'...

...and now, there's no eye in my blog header!

It seems that was the problem with the way it was displaying, as many of you noted. Or at least, some changes Blogger made behind the scenes that violently disagreed with the way the standard template I'm using handled the image file. I've tried resizing it, but it isn't having any of it, so the simplest thing is just to take it out for now.

With thanks to @Shugism who diagnosed the problem via Twitter.

Funnily Enough, Drivers Hate This Behaviour Too…

Chris Harvey ups the ante:

In Telegraph Men last week, I made the entirely sensible suggestion that there were situations in which it was plainly safer on London's roads for cyclists to go through red lights. Not everyone, it has to be said, felt the same.

Heh! That’s putting it mildly…

Among the many expressions of warm regard (some of them almost printable) from many of Britain's road users, there were some very interesting comments, especially from other cyclists who suggested that advance green lights for cyclists to allow them a lawful head start, as in Holland, would make a real difference to safety. I'm convinced that motorists wouldn't mind waiting for those few extra seconds when cyclists' safety is at stake.

Well, here’s one that would!

Of course, there were pedestrians who made very helpful suggestions, too, among them one that I think could be adapted to pedestrians themselves. Surely a registration scheme for pedestrians, involving insurance and the wearing of small number plates front and rear over outdoor clothing would have a positive effect on all but the most dangerous two-feeters.

I thought this was a joke, but no, I think he’s at least half-serious.

London's new cycling tsar Andrew Gilligan (who also happens to be a Telegraph columnist) has made it clear he wants to stamp out things that cyclists do that frighten and annoy pedestrians. As a pedestrian, driver, and cyclist, I'm in no doubt as to which group is most endangered by the other two.

Newsflash: It’s not the cyclist, not at the speeds you insist on going!

But Chris has 5 annoying things he thinks are only annoying to cyclists. Once again, he’s wrong:

1. Man walks into a road...

It sounds like the start of a routine by a Seventies comedian, but in fact that's the whole gag. No stopping at the kerb, no looking both ways, no listening. It's as if the green cross code had never been invented. Often performed by pedestrians, men and women, on mobile phones or changing tracks on a music player.

Oh, I hear you! That’s a bugbear of mine too. No, I don’t cycle. I drive a car.

2. The Mr Magoo or Who Put That Cyclist There?

So regularly performed that you might almost call it old-school, this deceptively simple manoeuvre will surely have unseated the odd penny farthing rider in its time, perhaps even separated a fashionable gentleman on a velocipede from his top hat and teeth. The pedestrian merely steps between two stationary vehicles - in the classic version of the Mr Magoo it will be two buses - and... who put that cyclist there?

Funnily enough, drivers feel the same way…

3. The Lean, aka The Fall

"You're walking and you don't always realise it but you're always falling. With each step you fall forward slightly And then catch yourself from falling, over and over ..." Walking and Falling, Laurie Anderson, 1982.

In my mind, this Laurie Anderson track from her 1982 debut album Big Science is permanently funnelling through the earbuds of those pedestrians who like to practise the art of leaning into the space you are just about to cycle through. It is performed as if already falling forwards into the space, ready to fill it the instant you have vacated it. The Lean, which may appear insouciant and cool when used to cross between passing cars, is really unnerving for cyclists who are only one minor clip away from "falling" and "catching themselves from falling" by hitting the pavement hard.

Yes, drivers hate this too.

4. The Chris Ashton / Emmitt Smith

Practised on roads with three to four lanes of stationary traffic at the precise moment when red lights turn to green. The pedestrian may or may not be aware of the imminent change in priority at the time they begin to cross, but the response is a daring cut through the traffic as it gathers pace, performed with the skill of a running back. A spurt takes them between the Skoda and the moped in lane one, a little sidestep and shimmy takes them beyond the black cab in lane two, before they break into a run to clear the white van in lane three, and... Yes! Except... No, they've gone straight into the path of a cyclist.

Or another driver. But hey, why should you worry about that?

5. The 'We Are Many, You Are Few'

A particular favourite of commuters accustomed to the communal feeling of being part of a solid wave of pedestrians all travelling in the same direction, sweeping aside lone innocents desperately paddling up the Keep Left channel, as they themselves Keep Right and Keep Going. The 'We Are Many, You Are Few' has been adapted for use on the small bits of pavement where a cycle lane meets a main road. These often have a crossing controlled by traffic lights, set to ensure cyclists wait for as long as possible before being granted an infinitesimally small amount of time to cross. The rules of this particular game dictate that, however short a time the light stays green, the passage of pedestrians along that particular stretch of pavement should not be interrupted. Nay, if there are enough of them, will not be interrupted!

Pavements are for pedestrians. They are on the pavement. They are in the right. If I can’t drive my car up on to it, why should you ride your bike?

A Bit Of A Mismatch?

Burnley Crown Court heard how Alec Cunningham, 29, punched his ex repeatedly in the face and knocked her to the floor as she was holding a child. The infant was injured when their head struck the floor. Cunningham told his terrified victim: “I will kick your teeth out. No-one else will have you.”

Lovely! Still, heartening to hear that, at least for now, he’s her ‘ex’.

He was given six months behind bars, suspended for two years, with supervision and must attend the Building Better Relationships Requirement.

It’s lucky for him he didn’t do something really seriously unacceptable…

But What ‘Support’ Will Ever Satisfy?

Frances Ryan welcomes the news that Andrew Marr had something of an epiphany regarding disability after his recent stroke:

The BBC broadcaster Andrew Marr had a stroke in January and has said that he now feels more aware of people with disabilities than he did before it.

…

The realisation that hit Marr, in many ways, reflects the words often used by campaigners: "Support the disabled and sick now because one day that might be you." True humanity comes from supporting the disabled or sick, even if it is never going to be you.

But just what is meant by ‘supporting the disabled’?

Disability groups, including former mayor councillor Mary Heathcote, who is registered blind, and Theo Harris, chief executive of Kingston Centre for Independent Living, accused developers of failing to listen to their advice before the centre opened.

Their report, to be discussed tonight at a health overview scrutiny committee, claims the centre has poor signage for visually impaired people, corridors too narrow for more than one wheelchair to pass through, no tactile paving to direct blind patients, and a lack of hoists.

Oh dear. And all those things are statutory access requirements, are they?

Well…no, actually:

Ms Theron said the partnership had taken “great pains” to make sure the building surpassed statutory access requirements, so that everyone could make use of the centre “no matter what their disability”.

She said corridors were 1,500m wide instead of the statutory 1,200m and that landscaping outside the building “is in contrasting colours and textures and clearly delineated”.

She also cited a recent report by Kingston Council surveyor Steve Wilson, which said the centre went beyond minimum building standards, although the report said the centre was not “incapable of improvement”.

So, they’ve done better than actually required to do by law, and yet are still catching grief for it from activists?

I Guess We Can’t All Just Get Along, Then?

A controversial road safety campaign encouraging mutual respect between cyclists and motorists should be scrapped, the convener of Holyrood’s all-party cycling group demanded.

Lothian Green MSP Alison Johnstone called for the £424,000 Nice Way Code to be replaced with adverts which “takes the subject seriously” .

What’s wrong with them?

The initiative urged drivers to give cyclists more space, overtake them with care and to look carefully for pedestrians crossing …

Seems fair.

… while cyclists were asked to obey red lights and not cycle on pavements.

Seems very fair. Very even handed. Say….you don’t think that’s the problem, do you?

Ms Johnstone said the adverts were more critical of cyclist behaviour than that of any other road users, such as drivers.

*sighs*

One of the adverts warned cyclists not to overtake buses on the inside, and to overtake them on the outside “if you must”, which was criticised by Edinburgh City Council leader Andrew Burns.

No. I've no idea why!

Another showed a horse riding a bike with the caption “See cyclist think horse. Slow down and pass with care.”

At least cyclists don't kick...

The MSP said: “I support those who have called for the withdrawal of the Nice Way Code campaign advertisements and suggest an approach that takes the subject seriously and seeks to embed safe and respectful behaviour across all road user groups.”

But...that's exactly what it's doing! All road groups.

Spokes, the Lothian cycle campaign, agreed. Spokesman Dave du Feu said: “If the objective is to reduce road casualties, and specifically cyclist casualties, then the answer is to make conditions safer.

“Important measures include infrastructure, speed limit reductions, average speed cameras to ensure compliance, and strict liability legislation.”

Ah. Of course. All things that impact on motorists, and leave cyclists unaffected...

Yes, Clearly, You're Right, The Problem's 'Negative Media Coverage'....

Professor Matthew Goodwin, another one of the group's members, said: "Every survey that I have run, and surveys run by my academic colleagues, makes it quite clear that a significant proportion of the British population hold negative views of Islam, and by extension British Muslim communities."

The government group says constant negative media coverage on Islam is shaping people's views. A report submitted to the Leveson inquiry into press standards last year concluded there was "a serious and systemic problem of racist, anti-Muslim reporting within sections of the British media".

So, then, just how are you going to put a positive slant on media reports? I suppose you can try, but it seems to me to be a circle you aren't going to be able to square, frankly...

The First Rule Of Iain Dale Fight Club...

 ...is, apparently, that everyone talks about Iain Dale Fight Club. And, mostly, talks a load of round objects.

Dale's 'a thug' and 'a bully', it seems (really? I've seen worse scuffles for a seat on the morning bus!), he's 'beating up a pensioner' (despite the fact that the only one in the video seen swinging any punches is the said anti-nukes - sorry, I mean 'anti-nuke's', and if you ask me, he should have got a kicking for that! - fanatic), anyone who doesn't think this is any more than a storm in a tea-cup is 'a Tory' (gosh! These Tories? I think not) and other such inanities abound in the comments.

Naturally, seeing a chance to arrest someone in a suit and tie, Sussex Police found themselves swinging into action - the story's rather different when it's a member of an identity group or they might be asked hard questions about tricky subjects. Or the dog's a bit bigger than a scruffy terrier.

Dale can thank his lucky stars no-one claimed he was armed...

Is There A Less Appropriate Pet?

Sandra and Hollie said the greyhounds were being walked past their house in Deerleap Way in New Milton with the owner on a mobility scooter.

Hollie said: “I tried to get them off and did everything I could. We didn’t expect those dogs to take our little baby. It could happen to a child.”

Yes, yes, I know. It’s that phrase again. And once again, an irresponsible owner has resulted in the loss of a beloved family pet without facing any real sanction whatsover:

Hampshire police interviewed a 66-year-old New Milton man under caution and he has been summoned to appear at court under Section 2 of the 1871 Dogs Act.

Under this arrangement the man has not been arrested and has not faced any charges.

The dog owner has voluntarily signed a Dog Behaviour Contract to keep his dogs under control and muzzled when they are out in public.

But the real question comes not from any of the authorities, but from the comment section. And it’s a pretty good one:

The Wickham Man says...

I read this in another paper last week. The owner apparently motored on towing the dogs behind him which makes me wonder whether he has ever bothered to stop and clear up their mess or whether (like other mobility scooter dog owners I've seen) he just keeps looking straight ahead and drives on. If they publish his address I hope the residents of New Milton take it in turns to push some of it through his letter box. He deserves it.

If they do, of course, it’ll no doubt go on that big list of ‘disability hate crimes’ that the activists like to wave as a sign that the public attitude towards the disabled is changing for the worse…

Alice Ain’t So Smart….

The University of Leeds' student union has said that it will not play Robin Thicke's controversial song 'Blurred Lines', following the lead of Edinburgh University which banned it a week ago.

Alice Smart, an officer at Leeds' student union, told The Independent that the song would not now be played in any of the three nightclubs and two bars operated by the union.

So, are you going to also go around ripping the headphones off people to see if they are playing the 'forbidden' song?

Or is this just another symbolic and pointless gesture, like we're used to from student unions?

She said that the decision had been taken collectively by the union's sabbatical officers, because it "undermines and degrades women".

"The reaction has been mainly positive," she added. "A few students are asking why if we have banned this song, we aren't banning everything, but we've chosen this one as an example, because it's so popular."

And does that popularity perhaps have anything to do with the 'outrage'?

"Blurred Lines" has been a worldwide hit, reaching number one in the UK, the US, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Ireland, Spain, Germany, the Netherlands, and Poland. With more than 5m sales in 22 weeks in the US alone, it is the fastest-selling digital song in history.

Clearly, Thicke's not so thick, and Alice ain't so smart...

Why Is The Medical Council Dealing With This, And Not The Justice System?

A Junior doctor falsely claimed she had been raped by two men at the hospital where she worked, a medical tribunal was told yesterday.

A ... medical tribunal? Did she not make these accusations to the police?

But after making a statement to police, she confessed that she had lied. Dr Farnsworth now admits the rape claims were false, but instead insists she was physically attacked on the two occasions.

Oh. Clearly, she did.

Police have to refused to say if she will be charged with wasting police time.

What are you waiting for? Surely not because you think the medical council will impose a more appropriate punishment (though you might be right)..?

Well, Don’t We Expect Schools To Teach ‘A Consumer Mindset’?

It’s almost as if it’s a dirty word or something…

Pupils in a London borough blighted by child obesity are clubbing together to take advantage of discounted deals on junk food, experts warned today.

Teenagers were seen showing a “consumer mindset” to cash in on “bogof” [buy one, get one free] deals for less than the cost of a school dinner.

Hurrah! At last, the maths lessons are getting through!

The findings emerged in an academic study into the eating habits of pupils at three secondary schools in Haringey, where the council wants to limit fast-food takeaways within 400 metres of schools.

Why are we paying whackademics to study this sort of thing?

Professor Caraher suggested schools adopt a “closed gates” policy at lunchtime, to ensure pupils ate more nutritious school meals.

“I think there is a duty of care for schools that we should be keeping kids on the premises,” he said.

Well, of course you do. That's because you're a tiresome little control freak. And I wouldn't bet against the kids finding some other way to get around any restrictions you care to dream up anyway...

“Most of the purchasing was in pairs or small groups. We were quite astounded by that. It was pupils combining resources to get a good deal.”

More than half of pupils at the other schools would seek cheap deals, finding 99p options like chips and curry sauce or small pizzas preferable to a £2.20 school lunch.

Money’s tight. Why should they be expected to stump up for a more-expensive meal, yet not expected to have to bear the cost of a uniform?

It Really Is Time That Lethal Injections Were Available For All The Animals In These Cases…

Remember this case?

The woman walking the attack dog appeared in court for the first time today. Susan Campbell, aged 42, of Thelwall Lane, said she had been left 'just as traumatised' as the owner by the incident.

Representing herself during proceedings, Campbell said: “The situation that happened that day was traumatic for me and David too.

“It wasn't something that we intended to do, it wasn't something we enjoyed. “It was hard for me to control the dog.

“I did everything I could.”

Yes, she's the real victim.

And given that 'doing all she could' doesn't even begin to describe what actually happened, why isn't the bitch done for perjury too?

Campbell, who appeared to be falling asleep during proceedings and whose speech was slurred, defended how nine-year-old Elvis had been treated.

“We didn't mean to disregard the dog with any disrespect – we were in shock,” she added.

 Yesh, yeah, yeah ..funny how 'shock' always seems to look like intoxication or total disregard for the consequence when it's the underclass, eh?

And why are they never done for contempt of court, no matter how much they take the piss?

Campbell, who is unemployed and on benefits, failed to turn up at court this morning. A warrant was issued before she appeared late, blaming having to find her own transport.

She has failed to turn up to all court dates in the case so far, with previous convictions for the same offence.

The defendant has 15 previous convictions for 43 offences including being drunk when caring for a child.

 :/

Savage, who also appeared to fall asleep during proceedings but blamed medication, was sentenced to 12 weeks in prison, suspended for 12 months.

He will also pay compensation to the victims of £300 and a victim surcharge of £80.

 From his high-paying job, I suppose?

Sentencing for Campbell was adjourned until October 7 for reports.

 Oh, why not? Let's throw more money at this druggie waster!

Following the case, Gemma Antell, who owned Elvis, said: “I don't know how they can say they are as traumatised as our family.

“I had to tell my children their dog had been killed.

“They weren't traumatised when they were shouting at my mother during the incident.

“No punishment is suitable.

“They should not have had a dog in the first place.

“We are dog lovers and don't want any dogs to be killed and now because of them two are dead.”

Well, take heart! At least the police were forced into doing something, probably by the outcry that followed the publication of the pictures.

Some unlucky owners don’t even have that comfort…

I Can't Imagine Who Could Possibly Be Responsible...

Bella, a black six-month-old Patterdale Terrier, disappeared in March after being let off the lead briefly during exercise on Mitcham Common.

She was playing when a man walking a larger dog grabbed her.

Miss Neilon, 37, a mother-of-three, said: “He picked her up and ran off with her.

“I shouted at him and tried to give chase but I couldn’t catch up with him.

“I was sick to the stomach, there was a wave of panic.”

Happily, she’s now been found, thanks to her microchip. But…who would steal a puppy?

Then last week - nearly six months after Bella vanished - Miss Neilon received a postcard from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home saying that Bella had been handed in.

Bella was found roaming Latimer Road and was brought in by a resident who said the dog had been living at a nearby travellers' site.

Ah. Of course.

She logged the theft as a crime with the police – anyone want to bet the response is…nothing? Just like it was when it was someone’s caravan, or work vehicle?

It rather makes you wonder if they’d even bother to shift themselves if it was someone’s child, doesn’t it?

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, PC Ammon?

… cops have raised concerns that the owners of the horse have not yet come forward.

They are keen to speak to the owners to find out how the animals managed to end up wandering in to the carriageway.

PC Mark Ammon from the Road Policing unit at Laindon, said: "We are very concerned that the owners of these horses have not contacted us.

“I can only imagine how distressing this incident must have been for them and we would urge the owner or anyone who has any information to contact us as soon as possible”.

Ahahahahahahahaha…!

'Ewe Having Me On?'

Paul Lovell, 61, was allegedly caught “trying to commit a sexual act with a sheep and trying to encourage a sheep to perform a sexual act on you” close to the state-of-the-art facility on Hotspur Way, Enfield, on September 4, contrary to common law.

Just how do you 'encourage' a sheep to....?

No. Not gonna go there!

H/T: Ron Hughes by email

This Guy Clearly Thinks You Can Get Better Than A Kwik-Fit Fitter...

....but no, sorry. It's a FAIL! on that score.

Sunday Funnies...

I don't care what they say, you can never have too many flashing lights..

Another Good Reason Not To Ban The Burkha…

…because Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is in favour of it. And sorry, WoaR, but she’s never right!

…I do know that this trend is growing fast and cannot just be “tolerated” as a minority tendency, just one of many choices people make.

Yasmin’ll tell you what can be tolerated, and what can’t. For the tolerance!

They keep apart from fellow Britons by withholding proper human interactions. It’s not right or fair.

It's perfectly right - and fair - to withhold 'proper human interaction' if we wish. You are not owed that - if you feel you don't get it, you're free to go elsewhere.

Indeed, if the state simply allows shops and organisations to make their own minds up, free of the looming threat of prosecution on 'discrimination' grounds, then as Longrider points out, we may soon see a sea-change.

But Yaz isn't exactly being honest about why she wants the burkha banned...

We Muslims are already unfairly thought of as the enemy within. Niqabs make us appear more alien, more dangerous and suspicious.

Yes. It's all about you, Yaz, isn't it? You, and your plan:

Many others are trying to promote progressive Islam, which fits our times and needs.

No. It doesn't. Religion - any religion - has had its day.

Keep Calm And Carry On!

Bailey Childers thinks that’s a ludicrous concept:

One of the strangest things about living in Washington DC yesterday was how normal the day felt to many of us not living or working near the Navy Yard. The metro service remained no more interrupted than we expect from the metro, restaurants still had a bustling Monday evening dinner service. And on a day when shootings began at 8:20am just two blocks away from the baseball stadium, the Washington Nationals waited until 3:27pm to announce on Twitter that their evening game would be postponed.

What did you expect? People wailing and rending their garments in the street? Would that have been better..?

It begs the question, do we run the risk of becoming a nation that too readily accepts yet another mass shooting as just a part of life?

You mean, like this one?

A witness, Julian Harris, told the Chicago Sun-Times that men fired at him from a grey sedan before turning toward Cornell Square Park and firing at people in the area. He said his three-year-old nephew was wounded in the cheek.

"They hit the light pole next to me but I ducked down and ran into the house," he said.

"They've been coming round here looking for people to shoot every night, just (insert here) stuff. It's what they do."

Hmm, I see what you mean, Bailey. Maybe you want to turn your attention elsewhere? Maybe ask your colleagues why this too isn’t on national news 24/7, with rolling updates at the bottom of the screen?

It seems that the question we each need to ask ourselves is: which side am I on? Do we stand with victims' families and try to honor their loved ones by passing legislation in an effort to prevent future killings, as many Newtown families begged Congress to do?

Ah. Of course. Bailey’s not concerned about the Chicago shootings. Why would she be? They won’t advance her agenda one little bit.

Her agenda being, as Jeff Goldstein points out, 'ghoulishly barnacling herself to the corpses of the dead' in order to advance her gun-grabbing desire:

Or we remain more concerned about having "my guns"? Do we stand up and demand that members of Congress quit caving to a special interest group that does not represent the majority of the American public? And if Congress does cave again, have the courage to hit the pavement and throw them out of office when their time comes?

Well, you see, Bailey, that ‘throwing them out of office’ trick can work both ways, can’t it?

The Inevitable Result Of Childlike Adults...

...the system starts to treat you like children:

Judge Jamie Tabor QC said that he was “uncomfortable” standing between Natalie Nash, 23, and her husband Daniel, 24, but he feared for her safety in the future. Instead the seven year order, which was imposed in November 2010 after Nash admitted a series of offences against his wife, will stay in place for at least six months to give the couple time to prove that they can get along.

No, there's no Victimhood Poker card in play. They aren't mentally deficient (well, no more so than any other child-adults, anyway), so a sensible approach would be to say 'You made your marriage bed, it's up to you to lie in it'...

Judge Tabor said: “It is a difficult task for a judge to stand between a man and wife. They are joined together in wedlock and they want, apparently, to get back together again.

“For a judge to stand between them is, frankly, uncomfortable. But I have responsibilities towards her to ensure she is protected and not hurt in the future.”

Which, strangely, didn't seem to bother our old friend Judge Jamie about any other potential crimes that his 'clients' might commit.

Maybe if a few pensioners indicated that they'd really like to take a chance on being mugged by Junior Tranter for the money to buy drugs, or husbands suggested that the potential for rat-poison in the curry was merely the spice of married life, he's find his protective instincts coming to the fore?

Of course, there's a healthy dose of identity politics in the mix. Isn't there always?

Polly Neate, chief executive of charity Women’s Aid, said that she could not comment on the individual case, but it is important that restraining orders are not lifted until the conditions that caused them to be imposed in the first case no longer exist.

“Speaking generally, it is not uncommon that a characteristic of domestic violence cases is control by the perpetrator, which can take many forms. It can be very difficult to see from the outside, and many people ask “why doesn’t she leave him?”, but that is about the extraordinary level of control that can be exerted," she said.

Rather like the extraordinary level of control that groups like you seem to exert over the justice system, you mean?

I mean, can the justice system really cope with the extra work policing the behaviour of these people will bring?

Eddie Harrison, prosecuting, said police were looking for Raith as a result of his prison recall on licence for a sentence imposed for an assault on Lisa Payton.

Mr Harrison said: “Officers went to her house at 1am and found the couple in bed together.

“Miss Payton indicated she still wanted the restraining order in place but accepted the defendant was in her bed with her consent.”

*boggle*

Turning The 'Wrong' Way...

Alf Gunvald Nilsen is associate professor at the department of sociology, University of Bergen. What concerns you, Alf?

The results from today's Norwegian elections are more or less clear: with some 26.8% of the vote, the Conservative party (Høyre) is poised to head Norway's next coalition government.

This, according to Alf, is an ‘unsettling rightward turn’.

The events that left 77 people dead, prompted public debate to focus on a deeply troubling question: what was it about Norwegian society that had made 22/7 possible?

Norwegian society had to confront deep-seated xenophobic attitudes and embrace the fact that cultural and ethnic diversity had come to stay.

And it seemed to be working as Alf preferred; the electoral support for them dropped off in the wake of the Breivik massacre. But now, it’s rising. Leaving Alf with some uncomfortable truths to try and explain away.

He gives it his best shot:

A very likely reason is the fact that Norway has failed to take the lessons of the attacks that befell us that dreadful day to heart. Breivik's actions and ideology were quickly pathologised and turned into an aberration…

You mean, just like all those 'aberrations' emanating from the Religion of Peace, Alf? Say, just why is it that this shouldn't also be 'an aberration'?

An aberration, of course, is not something that weighs down on a nation's collective conscience. Norwegian society could move along, safely ensconced in its affluent comfort zone. And this should be a matter of great concern for those of us who were hoping for a more tolerant society to emerge from the trauma of 22/7.

Clearly, Norway isn't flagellating itself over this to Alf's satisfaction...

It is equally disconcerting that victory has been claimed by a conservative political party that advocates tax cuts, privatisation, deregulation, and a substantial reduction of public spending on welfare. This agenda is of course familiar in these austerity-ridden times, but the paradox is this: there is no crisis to warrant such policies.

The voters clearly think differently.

In other words, the 2013 elections have thrown up a marriage of neoliberal conservatism and rightwing populism that threatens to entrench that which we need to rid ourselves of and erode that which we should struggle to keep.

The voters will decide what they want to keep. Seems they don't share your views. They must be wrong, eh, Alf? It couldn't be you, could it?

Maybe This Defence's Mitigation Isn’t Totally Bogus, for Once…

Choi Cheng, mitigating, told Hartlepool magistrates that Watson, who pleaded guilty, recognised this was “a thoroughly shameful episode,” and both regretted and apologised for it.

He had been in care since he was six years old and was immature.

Hmmm. Do we have any proof of that? I mean, it's easy to claim but...

Oh:

As he was sentenced to 18 months imprisonment for the first charge of causing unnecessary suffering to a dog by subjecting it to physical violence, Watson swore at Inspector Balderston that he would “stamp all over her head.”

Ah. OK. I guess we do…

The Trouble With Nursing Today…

…is, it seems, often the quality of the nurses. Nurses like Margaret Oluwasere:

A nurse cautioned by police after a fire started when she left her children home alone has been struck off the NMC register.

And no, not just for that, either. Reading between the lines, I get the feeling that if she’d apologised, she’d have been home free!

The panel heard Oluwasere was later barred from working with children and vulnerable adults by the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA), but she failed to tell her employers about the ban for three months.

She had a novel, if unconvincing, excuse:

During a meeting on April 13, 2012, Oluwasere, who was responsible for the care of vulnerable adults, said she had not told the Trust because it took her a while to understand the consequences of the ISA's direction.

Just what you want in nursing! Someone who doesn't understand ‘You may not…’.

But the hearing heard she was fully aware of the seriousness and consequences as she appealed the ISA's decision.

Oluwasere failed to attend the hearing in Central London because she was not "prepared to sit in public and discuss her personal affairs," and was not represented.

Ah, well. There’s plenty more where she came from, right?

"I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar! Then Take Away My Choices, I Shouldn't Have To Choose!"

Emmy Tither, 22, a former cycling instructor says: "Marketing for women should be done in the same way it's done for men. I wish it wasn't about being traditionally girly and making women look good in a heteronormative sense. I find it frustrating."

But since women are clearly buying the stuff in growing numbers, perhaps those marketers know what they are doing?

Marigold Hughes, 33, theatre producer and education manager, has cycled for eight years and was introduced to bikes by male friends and relatives. She doesn't choose women-specific products or women's frames and feels there should be a unisex approach to marketing and cycling products.

Ah. Of course. It's not enough that you simply chose something else, everyone else shouldn't have to do that!

They should be freed of the awful responsibility of having to make the choice you made!

When asked about cycling in general, she said: "It's still a very male-driven market, you go into bike shops which can be male-only places. When I've gone in I feel intimidated, it's this sacred kingdom you shouldn't be in."

What on earth do they do...? Grunt and scratch their balls?

Because whatever it is, it's clearly not working:

More and more women are turning to cycling – about 63,000 women took up cycling in the past year on the tailwind of the women's Olympic track and road team successes, according to British Cycling. It's time cycling companies learned how to market to them.

Why? They seem to be doing well enough!

No Wonder The Police Get Disheartened…

A drug user set his dog on a police officer who was searching his home. The pet, believed to be a cross between a Staffordshire bull terrier and a Labradorlifted it by the collar and said: "Go on then."

This happened in Davies's Chaddesden flat after officers arrived to search it for drugs.

They found up to £1,250-worth of heroin, Derby Crown Court heard. 

Open and shut case, destruction of the dog, prison sentence for…

Oh. Wait:

Judge Jonathan Gosling said he would suspend an eight-month jail sentence because the offence took place more than a year ago and Davies was responding well to a drug rehabilitation programme.

I… Seriously? We can pursue other cases no matter how long ago, yet with this one, we get leniency?

Ordering Davies to pay PC Horsley £250 in compensation, Judge Gosling said: "That's not to say the injury doesn't merit more than that, but you cannot afford more."

*speechless*

Understandable, In An ‘Anything Goes’ Society…

Defending Richard Gowthorpe told the court: "There has been no suggestion of any reoffending or urges since Mr Salgado has been arrested, and it did come as a huge shock to him."

He added: “No one has said to him the full extent of the unsavoury (sic)if they had done then he would have been able to address his behaviour earlier.

“There seems to have been a lack of awareness, not of the illegality, but of the full extent of the behaviour.”

Although the judge clearly didn’t fall for this rather novel excuse, she still suspended the sentence…

Art For Art's Sake: Unknown, Various

So, I took a trip to Dublin with an old schoolfriend for their year of ‘European Capital of Culture’ in 1991, having really enjoyed a citybreak to Glasgow the preceding year for theirs.

And on the list of things to do and see was one I wasn't all that keen on, at first. It was to go see Book of Kells.

A musty old illustrated manuscript? Really? Ah, well, off we went, on a lovely sunny day (which we’d have really better spent shopping, since it was the only dry day of the trip!) to go see it.

And…what a revelation!

The illustrations were beautiful, birds and beasts in intricate detail, and happily, replicated all over the town’s shops, in clothing, in sculpture, in books, and most of all, in jewellery. So I brought back my own little piece of the masterpiece:

And thanks to the wonders of modern technology, you too can take a walk through the pages, as they've been digitised!

There's Always, Always, 'Another Chance'...

A teenager threatened to slit the throat of a police officer's two- year-old daughter then assaulted a man supervising his unpaid punishment work, a court heard.

Aston Golding's attack on a community payback officer, supervising work he was ordered to do as part of a suspended sentence for burglary, was his second breach of a sentence imposed as an alternative to jail.

So, is there no alternative now?

But despite this the 19-year-old was given another "last chance" to mend his ways by a judge yesterday.

Judge Carol Hagen...

/facepalm

...had originally sentenced Golding to a one-year suspended term, with 18 months' supervision, a three-month curfew between 9pm and 7am and 200 hours' unpaid work in November last year for a house burglary.

She told him: "I do not want to send you to prison, which is why I imposed a suspended sentence in the first place but if you fail to comply it will leave me no alternative. It is entirely up to you."

Yeah, yeah,yeah. Frankly, you have as much credibility as the defence...

Derek Perry, defending, said his client had had a "pretty horrendous" upbringing in which he had led a near-feral existence.

He said the court gave him a constructive opportunity after the breach at the police station, and his client had uttered "hollow words" for the second breach and wished to meet Mr Scott to assure him he posed no threat.

The judge was told that Aston had been complying well with unpaid work, despite the two "stupid and juvenile acts of bravado". She also heard that, ten months into his suspended sentence, he was only now able to take the Thinking Skills programme she deemed was a necessary requirement to steer him away from crime.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: We're sending the wrong people on this bloody course!

Nice Barbecue, But Needs Seasoning…

Wait! I didn’t mean that!

Police were called to pepper spray a man after a row over barbecue food erupted in Tesco.

Tesco. Well, it would be, wouldn't it?

Halton Magistrates Court heard on Thursday how officers were called to the store on Winwick Road as a group of men argued with security staff. They had been drinking at a barbecue in the town and when refused service to buy more food due to being drunk, the men became aggressive and refused to leave.

Adam Stephen Harrison, aged 26, of Winmarleigh Street, was in the group and confronted the two officers when they arrived after being called by staff. Sarah Grey, prosecuting, said: “The defendant would not listen when they tried to calm him down. “He called them faggots and said ‘are you laughing at me’ to the female officer.”

As details of the offence was read out Harrison smirked and laughed in the dock.

Adam’s an unemployed father of three. No wonder he’s laughing and smirking!

When challenged by District Judge Bridget Knight over his ‘amusement’, Harrison said: “I was drunk and I can’t remember but they are not words I would use.

“It’s not because I find the words funny.

“I just had too much beer. It was stupid.”

Yes, it’s pretty stupid of us to keep paying you the beer vouchers, that’s for sure…

The defendant, who has six previous convictions for 10 offences, pleaded guilty to threatening behaviour. He was fined £100 and told to pay £85 in costs, and a £20 victim surcharge.

The money will be deducted from benefits.

So, I pay for the police that turn up to deal with him, and the court that inflicts no real punishment, and I also pay for his fine as well?

What am I getting out of this?

H/T: Mark Bowden (@markbowdn) via Twitter

Oh, Sure, It’s All Fun and Jollity….

Police dubbed a cow “Harry Moo-dini” after the famous escapist – because he sneaked out of a farm and onto a main road twice in a few hours.

Officers said the cow was like Houdini after it escaped onto the A23 twice on Friday night.

…until, of course, someone is seriously injured in a collision. Then, you’re not laughing, are you?

CiF Finds Patience Has Run Out With Their Parade Of Baby Seals…

…Shaun Hall’s article being (briefly) opened to comments, and then closed again barely about an hour later. Hardly surprising, too.

If Mark had been killed by anyone other than a police officer we would be much further down the road by now of knowing what happened.

The chances of Mark being killed ‘by anyone other than a police officer’ were greater than for the rest of us, weren't they, Shaun? Care to explain to the readers why?

Instead of being kept informed about the investigation we have had to deal with hostility and abuse from members of the public because of the way the shooting was initially reported in the media and the subsequent riots.

I’d have thought that ‘hostility and abuse’ was only to be expected as a result of the sort of family background you have when you’re a nephew of ex-Manchester gangland boss Desmond Noonan, and your cousin is stabbed to death in the street. What’s that old saying? Ah, yes. Lie down with dogs…

The Metropolitan police say they are making London safer but they didn't make it safer for Mark …

They did make it a lot safer for the person (or people) he was on his way to see with his newly-purchased illegal firearm, didn't they?

We are going into this inquest hoping that at last we will find out the truth about what happened to Mark, that those responsible will be held to account, and that what happened to Mark will not happen to anyone else in the future.

I hope it happens to all the Marks out there.

Before they happen to someone else, and someone who doesn't deserve it gets caught in the crossfire...

Sorry, Brooke, The Taxpayer Will No Longer Lie Back And Think Of England...

Dr Brooke Magnanti (writer of anonymous blog Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl) weighs into the subject of ‘problem families’:

According to comments by Louise Casey, the head of the Government's troubled families programme “there have got to be sanctions” where poor families are having more children, and women should be forced to accept contraception. Casey suggested that instead of having more children they should “do something for themselves” such as “getting a job” .

This is already a country where birth control of all kinds is free on the NHS. Doing anything more than that to encourage family planning – among all people, not simply 'problem families' – has to be a matter of more carrot and less stick.

Well, OK, that’s a little unconventional, Brooke, but I bow to your acknowledged expertise in these matters.

Now, just where are we supposed to insert the carrot?

Like, perhaps, providing comprehensive and up-to-date sex education to children …?

Excuse me…? That, too, is something we already do, and in exhaustive detail.

In fact, in far more detail than we ever did in my schooldays...

The simplistic demand to “get a job” particularly rankles. Even I, as a childless woman, know how much you need to be making per hour to break even on childcare, never mind actually make a worthwhile difference to your family's income.

Which makes it all the more surprising then that so many women in far less lucrative careers than yours keep having them, eh?

The resistance to the widespread changes in services being suggested by the Government is not, I believe, simply about people not wanting the 'welfare state' to change. There are inefficiencies and areas of deep deprivation that need addressing, and are clearly not being served by the current system. On that all sides agree. Rather there is a deep – and in many cases, justified – mistrust of what will happen and how money is being spent. Will we get better services for the same money, or streamlined services for less?

Frankly, at this point, I no longer care. I've resigned myself to the fact that the public sector will be a money-sink no matter what. I just want to stop paying the underclass to breed little replicas of themselves.

If there's one thing families don't need, it’s people who earn more in a day than they get all year telling them how to keep their noses clean. What they should eat, how many children they should have, how long their skirts should be.

Well, when the rest of us are paying, that's what's going to happen! Get a job, support their own children and they can happily go back to ignoring government advice like the rest of us.

But if they want to suck on the public teat, the government gets to tell them how long for and how hard...

What should we be doing? Talking to folks already on the ground providing services, and asking what resources will help them do their jobs better. More training, more staff, more equipment? Great.

Well, of course! Why didn’t I think of that? The answer is obviously to ask the people doing the work if they want more resources…

They'll be honest about that, won't they?

Down These Mean Streets…

Keeping us safe in Basildon:

Following his arrest, town centre officials and police say they are now “monitoring” the situation.

Mr Hughes was heard telling Basildon Council’s town centre wardens that he was allowed to preach on the street under old bylaws.

However, Hans Wustefield, of the Basildon Town Centre Management, said he believed any religious groups should apply for a permit, either with them or Basildon Council. He said: “Anyone who wants to do something in the town centre –whether it is preaching or holding an event – must apply for a permit with either us or the council.”

Insp Mark Rayner, of Basildon police, said officers would also be monitoring whether Mr Hughes returns to the town.

Keeping us safe in Woolwich:

A man with a walking stick who could be called Les or Des is wanted by police after he hurled racist remarks at a group of pub-goers in Woolwich.

Investigating officer Detective Constable Phil Corbett said: “We are keen to hear from anyone who may recognise the man in the image.

“I am specifically appealing to pub managers in south-east London who may recognise him. “We believe he is known in various public houses, possibly under the name of Les or Des.”

Recognise him, Edwin..? ;)

No Crime? Really?

Cheryl Smith says she was attacked by the dog on July 26.

The 30-year-old claims the dog leapt over two fences and bit her in the street, knocking her against a fence. She says she suffered cuts and bruises after she hit the fence and three cuts from the dog’s teeth and two from its claws.

Seems like the immediate cessation of their postal service is the least the owners should be facing?

She reported the incident to police, who spoke to Tina Young, aged 48, of Westminster Avenue, Farnworth, whose address the dogs were at. The dogs belonged to her cousin Mark Holliday.

But no crime has been committed.

How so? This wasn’t an incident that occurred on private property, this was in a public place

Ms Smith said: “The fear I felt made me get in touch with the police in the first place. If that dog got hold of a child, I dread to think what it would do with it.

“I would’ve thought the priority is other people’s safety and not putting them at risk.”

Yes. I’d have thought so too…

Mr Holliday, insists Ms Smith was “grazed” not bitten.

He added: “The dogs are well looked after, they’re well trained, they’re just not used to strangers.“

That’s unfortunate, then, because – out in a public place like a street - everyone’s a stranger!

“If there’s a stranger, they’ll have a muzzle on. They’ve never bitten anybody before.”

Ah, the usual response from the owners of dangerous dogs when caught out.

It always comes as a surprise, doesn’t it?

Those Benefits Of Diversity Again…

Zishan Ahmed returned home around 7pm to be told his mother Doyrun Neesa had been insulted and was determined to confront the next door neighbours.

Zishan and his friend Sultan, who is no relation, knocked on the door and the ensuing argument turned into violence.

Gulbahar Begun, 48, came racing out of the house carrying the dha (Ed: a machete) in both hands, the court heard.

“She lifted it above her head again and again, and repeatedly brought it down on those in front of her,” said Mr Brown.

Her husband Shorifique Uddin, 51, then produced a large kitchen knife and waved it threateningly as his wife shouted “get them with all your strength.”

Their daughter Rahela Begum, 28, then bit Zishan in the arm “not letting go with her teeth and refusing to release her grip.”

“Sultan had Uddin in a headlock but Uddin was able to break free and went towards his house but within seconds returned and just outside the door he went for Sultan from behind with his knife,” said Mr Brown.

“Uddin brought the knife down and stabbed Sultan in the back. He collapsed straight to the ground and in a very short time was dead.

“The tragedy is that Sultan was something of a peacemaker during these events.”

And in what far-away, fly-blown, desolate Third World country did all this allegedly transpire?

The killing occurred in a residential street on the Isle of Dogs in May last year.

Lovely!

Not that the north is missing out, from the looks of the way this story is shaping up...

For A Quiet Life*, The Police Recommend…

…you build absolutely nothing anywhere near anybody.

Well, you didn’t think it was going to stop with nightclubs and corner shops, did you?

Plans for a two-storey, “drive thru” McDonald’s have been given the thumbs down from police who fear it will bring a rise in anti-social behaviour.

So the police now get the chance to veto anything that they feel will make more work for them? Which idiot gave them this option, and why?

The objection to the McDonald’s branch comes after police opposed an alcohol licence for a Twickenham outlet of coffee shop Harris & Hoole earlier this week on similar grounds.

Great! We can all look forward, in future, to being told our only option is to sit at home with a mug of cocoa and the radio on...

* Their quiet life, of course...

FFS, 'Daily Mail'...

...why don't you just write all headlines in textspeak?

It couldn't be any more embarrassing, could it?

If In Doubt, Throw Another In There…

I…

I just…

*sighs*

You Should Have Seen The One That Got Away!

…it was a .50cal at least!

A suitcase containing guns has been pulled out of the river at Port Meadow by a fisherman.

What sort? Well, we can’t know that:

Forensic specialists are examining the firearms to determine how long they had been in the river and who they may have belonged to. The police would not confirm what type of weapons were found.

I wonder why not?

Sunday Funnies...

Not likely to feature in an action movie anytime soon...

Because I Want To Have My Cake And Eat It Too…

Brodie Donegan suffered a terrible tragedy, there’s no question of that.

But her proposed new law is a breathtaking example of cognitive dissonance and sheer, naked demand for her rules to be applied only in the circumstances that favour her...

Two things happened this year. The initial bill was introduced into parliament – without any consultation with me or my family – by reverend Fred Nile. We are pro-choice, and did not want any law to possibly infringe on women’s rights. So my partner and I worked decided to work with our local MP, Chris Spence, to write a law we could support. Zoe’s law is that law.

If you’re wondering how any such law could possibly hope to straddle the finer nuances likely to affect this sort of case, well, wonder no more. It doesn’t even bother:

Many of the hypothetical scenarios floating around by women's lobbies being worried about Zoe's law being a threat to abortion rights are simply not true. Zoe's law would not affect a women’s right to choose to end her pregnancy. It would not affect any actions taken by a disabled mother or underage mother. It would not affect the sale nor use of the abortion pill RU486. It cannot, in any shape or form, charge the mother. It exempts anything done by the mother or with her consent. Even if a mother committed a crime which as a result would harm her baby, she would still not be charged. It also exempts medical procedures and medical professionals assisting a pregnant woman.

In other words, it's a bill that seeks to codify into the law the idea that an unborn child is some kind of 'Schroedinger's Baby' - a formless clump of cells when it suits the mother to demand to be rid of it, and yet simultaneously a fully formed person with rights when the mother doesn't.

What's that..? The father?

*baffled*

Me neither...

Zoe's law works well with existing legislation, and I believe it would help give victims closure and also ensure the offender takes responsibility for their actions.

Unless the offender is the mother. Then, all bets are off.

It is, it must be said, a view shared by many, of which this is but one example:

Kevyn Yong 13 September 2013 9:18am

I personally support Zoe's Law. A fetus should be classified alive from the moment of conception. That fateful day, Zoe was walking with Ms Donegan, although not alongside her. They were hit by an inconsiderate driver under the influence of drugs. While Ms Donegan escaped with a couple of physical injuries, Zoe had lost her life. I feel that whether or not harming the fetus should be considered an offence should depend on whether the harm caused to the fetus was done with or without THE CONSENT OF THE MOTHER. If there is anyone who should decide if a fetus be born into this world, it's the fetus' mother. If the mother seeks abortion, she has given consent for the fetus to be "harmed". The mother should thus be unpunished. However should the mother wish to conceive her child and harm is caused to the fetus, he who has caused harm to the fetus should be punished.

Could there be a better example of the selfish, irresponsible generation the progressives have created than this naked demand for Humpty-Dumpty's rules for words to be applied to the  mechanics of life?

Filling In The Blanks?

Last night, Normanton councillor Balbir Sandhu, who lives about a mile away in Field Rise, Littleover, said he feared the greyhound and Alsatian involved in the incident were his dogs.

He said: "My dogs went missing at about six o'clock. My dad opened the gate and didn't close it. He has had two strokes and it's affected his memory.

"My guess is it is my dogs. It's terrible – I want the woman to know I am very sorry and I will do everything I can to help her."

He said: "I'm in contact with the police. We're still looking for them."

A police spokeswoman confirmed that they were investigating a dog attack but could not confirm whether or not Mr Sandhu's dogs had been found.

Terrible incident, distraught but responsible dog owner, all’s well that ends well?

Ah, but there’s the comment section to throw a little light:

by HJP1957

"These dogs have attacked before, people & animals have been attacked, they used to fly at the main gate anytime anyone passed .. I live in the same street as these people, they have electric gates fitted & extra fencing so I don't see how they could let the father open the gate it should be padlocked.

by smurf12

“If they were this man's dogs, it is not the first time they have attacked in the street, a friend of mine and her dog were attached by these dogs a couple of years ago, she had heard of other people being attacked by them as well. The police have a record of this but nothing was done at the time, she had to take him to civil court to get money from him to pay her vets bills. They are vicious dogs and need to be put to sleep, this man shouldn't have dogs as they are always escaping, everyone in the local area knows this.”

Hmmm. Perhaps, if these comments are true, this is yet another case where the police should be facing questions?

It’s A Funny Old World…

Turn off the fridge, because it's empty anyway. Sell anything you can see lying around that you might get more than a quid for. Walk everywhere in the pouring rain, in your only pair of shoes, with a soaking wet and sobbing toddler trailing behind you. Drag that toddler into every pub and shop in unreasonable walking distance and ask them if they have any job vacancies. Try not to go red as the girl behind the counter appraises your tatty jumper and dirty jeans before telling you that they have no jobs available. "For you", you add in your head, and you drag that toddler home, still soaking, still unemployed, to not-quite dry out in your freezing cold flat.

Put two jumpers on that you'll wear all week, to keep washing to a minimum. You sit at home in your coat anyway, and nobody's there to notice. Drag yourself to the cooker to pour some tinned tomatoes over some cold pasta, and try not to hurl it across the room in frustration when your toddler tells you he doesn't want it. I want something else, Mummy. But there isn't anything else.

You take your toddler around the streets in the pouring rain, then feed it a bowl of cold pasta, and…what? Get reported to Social Services?

No. Get feted by the CiF crowd and the TUC.

Michael Gove blames child poverty and hunger on reckless parenting – with no acknowledgement to the fact that many people using food banks are doing so because of benefit delays, sanctions, low income and unemployment. No acknowledgement that many people who use food banks are in work. What sort of a society do we live in where people who go out to work to support their families need emergency food handouts?

What sort of society do we live in where others - me, for instance - are taxed to the hilt to support you and the child your casual hookup fathered on you one night?

By cutting welfare lifelines, the state is the abusive parent. By casting around to blame anyone else, by ignoring the cold hard face of true poverty in the UK, it is the state that is feckless. By refusing to tackle poverty at its root, it is the government that is being neglectful.

Ahhh, the familiar old socialist refrain! It takes a village (and a shedload of everyone else's taxes) to raise a child, eh?

But until they change housing benefit to monthly payments in line with people's rent and mortgage payments, until they commit to a living wage legislation that is not age discriminatory, until they reinstate the crisis loan, revoke the bedroom tax – we need to carry on talking about it.

You carry on talking, love, if you like. And the rest of us will keep on saying 'No! No more! The money's run out!'...

Tell Me Again How We Can’t Reform The Benefits System…

…I do like a wry laugh, after all:

Macmillan, aged 61, of Camden Street, Walsall Wood, had received a caution for a similar offence in 2011 as her dog had bitten someone in the Devon and Cornwall police area.

But Mrs Crowe said despite the latest incident West Midlands Police had not requested the dog be put down.

So, will they be liable for any further incidents? No. Of course not.

And why would they not request the destruction? Is the victim a responsible owner? Did she fully accept her responsibility?

Mrs Sheila Hicklin, defending, told the court: “She fully accepts what has happened. She is very sorry about what happened to the gentleman’s leg as a result. She got upset because he was shouting and swearing so much she became worried and went round the corner.”

Ah. Right. I can understand how he might well have been a bit aggrieved and so a bit intimidating, but isn’t that something you just have to bear when your dog has savaged someone?

No! Because Victimhood Card in play!

The magistrates heard that Macmillan suffers from multiple sclerosis and severe arthritis and was unable to carry out unpaid work. She was ordered to pay Mr Hayes £800 in lost earnings, £200 for the injury and victims’ surcharge £60. There was no order for costs.

So, we’ll be paying that, will we?

And how does this square with the ‘driving the disabled to penury’ charges laid against this government by disability activists? She can clearly afford not one but two dogs! And isn’t so disabled she can’t exercise them, either!

But Macmillan, who receives disability living allowance was given a 12-week curfew order to wear electronic tag with the condition that she must stay indoors between 7pm and 7am.

Because..? Nope, I can't figure that out...

Now I'm Torn...

...do I stay in London to practice taking off my sunglasses in dramatic fashion, or do I head north to fulfil my dream of joining the line up of Hugh, Pugh, Barny McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub?

With a strike looking likely over pension reform Ian Hayton, chief fire officer at Cleveland Fire Brigade, was left with a serious problem. About 95 per cent of firemen and women in Cleveland are members of the union, higher than other areas. And Cleveland is also in a worse position than North Yorkshire and Durham where most auxiliaries and middle managers are expected to answer the call if a strike is announced.

A radical plan was needed. For the first time in its history the brigade issued an appeal to the public, to people who have never sat in a fire engine in their lives, to come forward.

Woohoo!

Mr Lancaster explained that all 160 were put through some serious tests, before they were even considered for training.

First they all had to do a series of 20 metre runs against the clock and then run with dumb bells. They were also put in rooms filled with cosmetic smoke, tested on ladder climbs and towers to see how they could handle heights and observed dealing with breathing apparatus.

Oh. Maybe not! I hate heights, and I work with a bunch of dumb bells, so running with them doesn't appeal...

Yet More Demands For Legislation…

…as well as ‘For the chillldreennn!!’ it’s now ‘For the doggies!’:

Ms Carlile said: "We are very upset that we have tragically lost our dog so unnecessarily.

"We are angry as well that it happened but could have been avoided if the pool had a proper cover or was fenced off."

Or if your dog wasn’t allowed to wander off the lead…

The pool does not have any fence or barriers and is located in a garden without clear boundaries. She said the owners of the disused swimming pool claim it is safe and have said they are not prepared to put fences around the property, railings around the pool or a safer cover in place.

Their property, their choice. If your dog had run into the road instead, would you be demanding the immediate closure of the roads?

Unlike New Zealand, Australia and other countries, the UK does not have any laws or regulations to make sure there are barriers around pools.

Ms Carlile said: "We are going to petition to see if we can get a change in laws. It’s such a big risk. Next time it could be a child."

Oh, but it has been. Frequently. Are you hoping that famed English love of animals will prove stronger than their love of children?

Sandie Robertson, volunteer coordinator for DogLost, a community of dog owners who help people with missing pets, said: "We have certainly seen quite a number of dogs reported to us this year who has suffered the same fate as Tessa.

"I know quite a number have drowned in unsecured swimming pools after going under covers. I think it's something that needs proper legislation like in Australia."

Ms Robertson said a lot of people did not realise how many properties have swimming pools in their gardens and it was hard to keep animals away.

One word: leash.