"We Want People Who Are Representative Of The Community They Serve..."

"Wait, no, not like that...!" 

Eight police officers are being investigated over a WhatsApp group in which they are said to have made 'sick' jokes about Katie Price's disabled son Harvey.

The officers, based at Bexleyheath police station, south-east London, are accused of posting racist and sexist jokes, mocking black suspects and bullying a female employee.

Scotland Yard confirmed that the eight, all based in the same team in the South East Command, were on restricted duties while the investigation was carried out.

"No, we don't want people who share jokes with friends or have a social life." 

I Thought Lawyers Were Taught Never To Ask A Question If They Didn't Know The Answer..?

I guess not...

You Might Have Finally Overreached...

A tube strike is set to go ahead in August over plans to scrap the Night Tube train drivers’ pay grade after negotiations broke down between the union and London Underground.

The changes would mean that instead of having a separate role for Night Tube train drivers, all drivers would be expected to work a combination of normal and night shifts.

So? Conditions change in jobs all the time. Either accept them, or find another. 

Strike action was first proposed earlier this month but the Rail, Maritime and Transport (RMT) union, which represents tube drivers, has now confirmed it will go ahead next month. The union has asked all drivers not to book into work after midday for 24 hours on four separate dates - August 3, 5, 24 and 26.

But this might not have the effect it would have had pre-Covid. 

Everyone who can do so has now proved they can work from home. They've been doing it for a year and a half. So four days isn't much of a stretch.

We've all been hoping that automation will break the stranglehold the unions have held on commuters. Maybe a tiny virus, and the effect it has had on working patterns, will do so instead?

Something Missing Here...?

Police and the air ambulance rushed to the scene in Bentilee, Stoke-on-Trent, this afternoon at 2pm to reports of a boy being attacked by a dog.

Officers found the victim had sustained wounds to his face, back, chest and legs, Staffordshire Police said. A man in his 20s also received injuries to his legs in the dog attack, police said.

And the dog was contained, at least? I'd prefer shot dead then and there, but still... 

A spokesperson for Staffordshire Police told MailOnline: 'Enquiries are ongoing and witnesses are asked to contact Staffordshire Police on Facebook or Twitter or calling 101.'

Wait, where's the dog? 

Usually there's some boilerplate about how the animal has been seized and taken to kennels. Does the absence of this mean the thing's still on the loose? 

Update: Yeah, the usual suspects: 

...the dogs - which were Cane Corso/American Bulldog crosses - have been put down.

Pitbulls by any other name. 

And since the attack was in a residential garden, at least no innocent people paid the price of chav's desire to own these things.  

Detective Constable Peter Burrows Deserves An Oscar...

...for this amazing job of pretending that this is a success:

Stone, of no fixed address, went on to plead guilty to a charge of grievous bodily harm with intent.

At a Nottingham Crown Court hearing earlier this week she was jailed for three years.

Three years? What did she do, hit him with a rolling pin? 

“The force of the blow to his face resulted in the knife penetrating into his brain. He had to have his eye removed and is due to be fitted with a false eye.

“I am pleased to see this result from court and that she has been handed a lengthy prison term for her serious crime.”

She should be laughing all the way to the early parole, because if the sexes were reversed, there's no way he'd be getting off so lightly...

H/T: InspGadget via Twitter

Sounds Like A Self-Correcting Problem To Me...

Drunk swimming is becoming an “increasing challenge” in the Lake District this summer, a national park spokesman has said, as visitors try to replicate boozy foreign holidays at home.

*shrugs* But hasn't this always happened? 

Yes. But it seems this is happening more often: 

Tony Watson, head of visitor services and communications at the Lake District national park, said TikTok and Instagram were leading visitors to party in isolated locations where there have never previously been issues.

He explained: “What we are seeing is a massive desire to be near the water, and what used to be lake shores are now beaches, and there’s a lot of booze consumed. That booze really reduces people’s common sense and fear factor. We might be having Mediterranean air temperatures but we’ve still got traditionally cold northern English waters.”

It probably doesn't reduce their common sense all that much. I doubr they have a lot to begin with. So, we're blaming booze and covid, right? And German supermarkets.

...

Wait, what? 

As well as an increasing appetite for wild swimming, there has also been a rise in popularity in other water activities, with visitors turning up with cheap paddleboards without the right safety equipment, said Watson.

“The middle aisle of Lidl is often on our lakes. We see Lidl selling paddleboards but we don’t see them selling buoyancy aids.”

*boggles* 

'What will now happen to Y?'

Might I suggest humane euthanasia? 

'The answer is that the local authority simply must find him an alternative placement.' 

I suppose Whipsnade Zoo is out of the question..? 

And no, I'm not over-egging the danger this 'child' poses:

'In the circumstances, Y is currently and inappropriately placed on a clinical ward at (the hospital), where he has had to be subject to chemical restraint, physical restraint and five-to-one staffing in order to attempt to control his behaviour,' said the judge.

'At times there have been up to 13 police officers present on the ward in an effort to control Y's behaviour.

'That paediatric ward has now had to be shut to new admissions due to the risk presented by Y, and parts of the ward have been closed entirely.

'Other gravely ill children have had to be moved to alternative hospitals across the North West of England and lists of elective surgeries for children in urgent need of such treatment have been cancelled.

'Nurses and other hospital staff have been injured.

'Other sick children and their parents have been alarmed and frightened.'

The impact of this one 'child' on everyone else is staggering. He's soaking up scarce resources to the detriment of other children, and no-one seems to care... 

The judge said the situation had arisen in the boy's case because of 'an acute lack of appropriate resources'.

'Insofar as fault falls to be apportioned, it must settle on those who have not made the provision required to address the needs of highly vulnerable children such as Y.'

Ah, yes, of course. I forgot that he's the 'vulnerable' one... 

What's Causing This?

A woman has been charged after a horrific dog attack left a family pet fighting for life in a Scots park.

A statement today from the north-east police division confirmed the charges on the 25-year-old woman and said that Holly was 'continuing to recover' after the ordeal.

Constable Mike Tindal added: “I’d like to thank the public for their response to our original appeal for information, which has been invaluable as we carried out our enquiries.”

At least the police have acted this time. But a 25 year old woman with one of these mutts? Isn't that strange? 

Police have seized a dog that allegedly bit the thumb off a Scots pensioner during a vicious attack on a West Lothian street. The 40-year-old female owner of the XL American Bulldog-type animal has also been reported to the Procurator Fiscal in connection with the incident.

Police Scotland have now confirmed that the animal’s owner has been reported over the incident and the dog seized.

Apparently not! Nor is it purely a Scottish phenomenon... 

A woman has been injured and her dog killed after being mauled by three rottweilers. The woman - in her 60s - had been out walking her dog in Sherburn Hill, County Durham, when they were attacked at about 19:00 BST on Tuesday. Her cavapoo died in the attack. A second dog was also attacked and is receiving treatment.

Three dogs have since been seized by Durham Police and a woman has been interviewed by officers. Police officers called to the scene managed to contain the dogs they seized in a garden in the nearby village of Littletown.

Should have shot them then and there on the spot. 

But why are women keeping these brutes? Are they managing them for the men in their lives? Or...is it a protection thing? 

But The Social Workers Tell Us It's Poverty And Hopelessness That Causes Knife Crime...

...for all the front, the 13-year-old was no gangster's moll. And this was no typical gang fight. She was raised in an affluent, middle-class family and, as Olly lay dying, she was picked up by her mother and given a lift back to their £500,000 home in a sought-after suburb of Reading.

The lives of the two boys had also been far from difficult. Raised by loving parents, the elder, known as Boy B, was in all the top sets at his school. And although the parents of Boy A were divorced he also came from a stable background.

Yet the pair chose to glorify and mimic the culture of inner-city gangs – joking online about stabbing people and posing on Instagram with knives and balaclavas.

Gosh. Could it be they are lying to us? Have they been lying all along? 

All will be sentenced at a later date.

To what? Not anything like what they deserve. 

Speaking after the verdict, Detective Chief Inspector Andy Howard, senior investigating officer at Thames Valley Police, said: 'The circumstances of this case are horrific, and will no doubt shock and appal people.'

No they won't. It's not even unique. Sadly, the only thing likely to be 'shocking and appalling' is the soft sentences they will get. 

'Olly's completely unnecessary killing, orchestrated and carried out by three other children, should horrify us as a society.

'Olly's death is a tragedy that should never have happened. We all have a duty to educate and protect the children of our communities to ensure other families do not suffer the same devastation.'

Sorry, Andy, but I've no such duty. I can't march into schools and say 'Don't glorify violent cultures, kids', because you'll arrest me. 

And if I refer to drill rap as what it is, worthless n****r music, you'll arrest me for a 'hate crime'... 

Arrested within hours of the killing, the pair made no comment when quizzed by detectives.

Guess stabbing isn't all they learned on Instragram, eh? And yet, despite this, the courts still bent over backwards to treat them as somehow 'vulnerable': 

Because of their age special arrangements were made for the trial, with lawyers removing their wigs and gowns.

But Boy A had to be spoken to by the judge for not taking the case seriously enough and having an 'attitudinal face' as evidence was presented.

He'll do all right in prison. Should he ever actually get there.  

Could We Start Protecting All Animals, Lord Goldsmith?

A ban on elephant ivory could soon be extended to walruses, hippos and killer whales under Government proposals.

The Ivory Act comprises a near-total ban on the import, export and dealing of items containing elephant ivory.

But hippos, killer whales and sperm whales are also hunted for ivory in their teeth, as are narwhals and walruses for their tusks.

Anyone else suspect the dead hand of Carrie on this particular tiller..? 

International environment minister Lord Goldsmith, starting a consultation on the proposals, said: ‘The Ivory Act is one of the toughest bans of its kind in the world.

'However the ivory trade is a conservation threat for other magnificent species such as the hippo, narwhal and walrus that are at threat.

‘I urge everyone to share their views to help ensure we can protect more animals from the grim ivory trade.’

How about protecting the human animals of this country from poachers with the same enthusiasm, for a change? 

They Abandon You To The Mob...

Police have released a gallery of 'wanted' rioters who sent burning cars freewheeling down a hill, pelted a police van with rocks and hurled bricks through windows during a vigil for a teenager in Swansea.

Detectives issued 11 images of potential suspects - including two females and nine males - all of whom they wish to question over the riots which saw 200 people cause carnage in Mayhill, South Wales, on May 20.

Yeah, it's this incident.

The gathering was intended to be a vigil for 19-year-old Ethan Powell after he died in May. His cause of death is not publicly known. But the crowds descended into chaos and a police van was forced to flee after being hit with rocks.

Flames were also seen billowing from a torched car as onlookers gathered to watch, with locals saying the car belonged to a man who tried to stop the violence.

Terrified residents hunkered down in their homes as their cars were destroyed outside and bricks were hurled towards their homes.

What were the police doing, faced with violent unrest? It appears 'very little'... 

Speaking following the riot, local Welsh Parliament member Tom Giffard described the scenes as 'disturbing'.

I'd have different adjectives, were I you. 

Detective Superintendent Gareth Morgan said: 'I would like to thank the local community for its assistance throughout the course of our investigations.

'The large majority that were present that night were not actively involved in the disorder. The critical task for us has been to identify those who were specifically involved in committing criminal offences that evening.

'What happened that night has had a huge impact on many families and people, the effect of which has continued for some time.'

It's your job to stop such disorder. You failed. 

Now you're here, are you doing anything other than insisting it was a small minority (that your officers were still too afraid to tackle)? 

Thin End Of The Wedge..?

Four shops have agreed to stop selling knives as Barking and Dagenham retailers sign up to a scheme to tackle violent crime among young people.

Why so shocked, Julia, isn't this de rigueur these days? 

The London-wide Responsible Retailer Scheme is part of a commitment by the Mayor’s Office for Policing and Crime (MOPAC), the Metropolitan Police and London Trading Standards to reduce and prevent knife-related crime.

Fourteen retailers in the borough that sell knives and bladed items have signed up to the agreement, which was launched by the council in partnership with Barking and Dagenham police.

Indeed, but they aren't talking about not selling to underage shoppers, or challenging on age grounds - they are no longer selling them altogether: 

Chadwell Handy Shop and the three B&M stores in the borough also agreed to stop selling knives.

That Chadwell Heath shop better change its name... 

Cllr Margaret Mullane, cabinet member for enforcement and community safety, said: “We know there is an issue with knife crime amongst young people, so it is extremely important that we all work together to tackle the issue, and this includes families, schools, shops and the wider community.”

Anyone want to bet the pressure will now be on the other ten shops to follow suit? 

Topical!

You can rely on Matt...

Whut..?!

A bit of fumble fingers there, 'Mail' headline writer...

Sunday Funnies...

It won't be long before Pokemon is treated in the same way as 'Jim'll Fix It''...

The 'Experts' Speak...

It is an exercise in devotion, but some scientists are questioning whether keeping an infant whale on a type of human life-support for this long is ethical.

This is the orca calf found stranded in New Zealand; humans - being human - did their level best to nurse it back to health abd reunite it with its pod, while the experts....errr, well, looked forward to killing it. For science...

Dr Karen Stockin, a marine biologist, said internationally recognised practice for separated cetaceans this young is either lifelong human care or euthanasia.

“New Zealand has no captive or rehabilitation facility that could support Toa. Of course, we all crave a Disney happy ending, but what matters most here is not our understandable human sentiment and emotion, but notably the viability and welfare of Toa.”

Frankly, I care more for the welfare and viability of the whale than I do for scientists with an axe to grind about their fellow humans.  

Annie Potts, a professor in human-animal studies at the University of Canterbury, highlighted the incongruence between how humans treat a whale calf compared with, say, the farming of bobby calves for veal.

Why is it 'incongruent'? One species is a rare wild animal, another a domestic species we raise in their thousands for food. Don't they have any dictionaries in your lab? 

“We reserve our love, compassion and empathy for ‘extraordinary species’ like whales which we can celebrate ‘saving’.”

Well, you must be turning cartwheels of joy to learn this morning that the rescue attempt was in vain. 

But consider this - for a short time, this whale calf brought more concern and joy to the people of New Zealand than would ever be shown to scientists...

He's Not The Only One Who F****d Up, Is He?

A mentally ill man has pleaded guilty to killing his mother’s boyfriend. Nicholas Jones, 34, from Croydon, was accused over the death of 45-year-old Paul McCarroll, on November 20 last year.

On Monday, Jones denied murder but pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of manslaughter.

Prosecutor Charlotte Newell QC said the Crown accepted the plea in light of two psychiatric reports.

Seems a bit...light on detail, doesn't it? 

Nicholas Jones, 34, knifed 45-year-old Paul McCarroll at the family home in Oaks Road, Kenley, south London on November 21, last year. The victim had been in a relationship with Jones' mother for around 12 years before the killing, the Old Bailey heard. They were lying in bed together when Jones stormed into the bedroom and plunged a blade into Mr McCarroll's torso shortly before 6pm, prosecutors claim.

Prosecutor Joel Smith told an earlier hearing Jones had a "working diagnosis" of paranoid schizophrenia and had spoken of hearing voices before the attack. He said Jones was known to mental health services and thought to be suffering a serious psychiatric illness.

"Less than a month before this incident those treating him called police because he threatened to burn down their offices because he believed he had been misdiagnosed," said Mr Smith.

The court heard that after the stabbing Jones was "topless and shoeless in the street shouting his postcode and saying in his words he had f----d up."

He's clearly not the only one... 

More Judges Like Judge Levett Please!

A jealous former trainee jockey who brutally stabbed and strangled his ex-girlfriend at her Suffolk home in front of her three-old-son has been ordered to serve 30 years of a life sentence.

Oooh! 

Judge Levett said her death had nothing to do with his mental health or anti-depressant medication he’d been prescribed but because he was “a violent, controlling, selfish bully which he’d always been and probably always would be”.

High five, your honour! 

Keir Monteith QC for Jessop said his client had loved Miss Nash and was sorry for killing her.

He said Jessop had been suffering from depression and a personality disorder and his culpability for the killing should be reduced because of the state of his mental health.

I wonder how long he thought about it..? About a nanosecond, I bet. 

He said Jessop had been forced to self-isolate in prison because he’d been bullied and threatened and his future was “bleak.”

His victim doesn't have a future. Time for this again...

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

At Least When Michael Jackson's Music Video Went Wrong...

...no-one died:

One video on social media showed a group of men filming the rap video, while a second showed a group of men running around and a Lamborghini being driven, with the caption: 'Music video gone wrong - RIP to the victim.'

Of course, that was pop music. Not rap.  

And a witness told BBC News: 'A convoy of cars and quad bikes suddenly turned on one another, leading to one man being stabbed and others involved in a fist fight before running off on foot and by vehicle.

What was the issue? 

A security guard, who works at a store nearby, said: 'One of our customers said the victim had been shooting a music video with two Lamborghini sports cars involved, but people saw it and got jealous.

'The guy who got stabbed had been hired to perform a stunt in the video and now the guy who hired him is being blamed for his death. That's how this lady knows about it, because he's her cousin.

'They were just young teenagers making a video and then some kids of similar age attacked them. It was a music video about Brixton which mentions the market so that's why they had decided to shoot it here.'

Oh, well.

 

Let Those Who Are Without Sin...

The Church of England is under fire over the suicide of a priest who took his own life after being wrongly accused of child sexual abuse.

Father Alan Griffin, 76, hanged himself at home in November last year, after spending a year under investigation while denied knowledge of the source of the accusations.

Clearly, the CoE has studied the Spanish Inquisition... 

In a damning report following the inquest into his death, Coroner Mary Hassell exonerated Father Griffin and heavily criticised the Church of England for its handling of the investigation.

“Father Griffin did not abuse children. He did not have sex with young people under the age of 18. He did not visit prostitutes. He did not endanger the lives of others by having sex with people whilst an HIV risk. And there was no evidence that he did any of these things.”

Pshaw, Mary! What need for evidence these days? Even the court system doesn't require it... 

Ms Hassell said she had been driven to writing an unusually detailed report as the Church of England had failed to fully engage in the inquest process until June this year, and had not made “meaningful attempts” to learn the lessons from Father Griffin’s death.

Given 'learning lessons' usually means doing absolutely nothing, one wonders why she's so concerned at this bit. 

What The Hell Is Wrong With Scotland?

They seem to be raising a lot of disturbed individuals:

A rapist schoolboy who strangled and attacked four children in Scotland has today been unmasked.

Egan Ritchie committed a string of offences including two counts of rape, two counts of serious sexual assault and assault to danger of life in the East Ayrshire area of Scotland between July 3 and August 6, 2019.

Add this to the Bailey Gwynne and Aaron Campbell cases, and a disturbing picture emerges... 

What are they putting in the Irn-Bru up there?

True, But Doubtless, For The Better...

A stoned mother-of-three who filmed herself on Snapchat speeding along the M60 at 88mph before crashing her VW Golf into a barrier has been spared jail after claiming her children would be 'impacted' by her imprisonment.

*sighs* 

Tests showed Ward, who suffered spinal injuries in the impact, was four times the drug driving limit for cannabis. She was serving a 40 month ban for a previous drink and drug driving conviction.

Well, that worked out well, eh? 

At Minshull Street Crown Court...

Oh dear... 

...Ward pleaded guilty to drug driving, driving whilst disqualified and having no insurance.

So the heavy hand of the justice system should come down on her like a ton of bricks. Shouldn't it? 

She was given 12 months jail suspended for two years after she wept while pleading that children would be 'impacted' if she went to prison. The children are currently in the care of their paternal grandparents.

At least they aren't living with her. Small meries! 

In mitigation, defence counsel Sarah Johnston said her client spent 12 weeks in hospital and was being assessed for PTSD.

Remember when 'PTSD' was the new name for shell shock, and affected mainly soldiers? Ahh, nostalgia! 

'She is a mother of three children. The children are subject to a special guardianship order in favour of their paternal grandparents.

'There have been ongoing concerns about her vulnerability throughout her life but she still sees her children regularly and is allowed to visit them.

'The consequences of that decision making in the past have never been as grave as they are on this occasion. If this defendant hasn't learnt her lesson from this set of circumstances, then frankly, no one ever would.'

I am only surprised the court didn't erupt with laughter at that. Maybe it did. 

Hey, Priti, If You're Really Serious About This...

Wolf whistling and catcalling could be made a crime under government plans to outlaw 'public sexual harassment'.

...then stop importing people from a culture that indulges in it.

The Home Secretary said: 'It is unacceptable that women are still subject to harassment, abuse, and violence, and I do not accept that violence against women and girls is inevitable.'

What else could it be, when 430 arrive in one day?

Well, There's A Reason For This, Love...

'I have no objections to any of my evidence being shown to the world,' she said. 'Kids Google themselves, don't they? Kids Google people that they know.

'You Google my name and I'm a child abductor. Why should I not be allowed to set the record straight? The overwhelming obstruction is the lack of transparency – it's a system that is designed for secrecy, I suppose.'

...and it's because you are a child abductor. So what exactly do you want to 'set the record straight' about?

After a 16-month fight at the family court in Chelmsford – which cannot be detailed because of reporting restrictions – a judge has ruled that Olly can live with his mother and spend time with his father Patrick Sheridan.

About the fact you won, perhaps, despite your actions? 

Another Triumph For 'Care In The Community'...

Following the attack in April 2019, the police and the crown prosecution service would allow Gichigi to “wander around freely” for a year before his arrest for a separate offence.

Well, why not? I mean he only hassled a couple of women, biting one on the face when they rejected his advances. So what if he's got HIV? 

It's not like he misgendered them, or something serious, is it? 

In April 2020 he attempted to set fire to a makeshift bedsit he rented out at the bottom of his garden - while a tenant was still inside.

Gichigi shouted to Scott Hancock “I’m going to burn you out” while pouring petrol at the foot of the front door.He then ignited a piece of paper and dropped it on the floor, but luckily missed the fuel. Police had already been called and Gichigi was arrested, still poised with a lighter.

“I’m going to kill this guy because he’s living in my house,” he confessed in a police interview.

Err....yes. You are charging him to do so! 

At a hearing earlier this year, Gichigi pleaded guilty to attempted arson with intent to endanger life, causing actual bodily harm to the girl he bit, and sexually assaulting her friend.

He also pleaded guilty to assaulting an emergency worker after he kicked a police constable called to the city centre attack.

He was jailed for four years and seven months on Friday.

I wonder how many he'll actually serve? 

The Tar Baby Of Identity Politics Claims Another Victim...

Green co-leader Sian Berry is to quit amid a furious row over...

Eco issues? 

...trans rights within the party.

 Yum!

The London Assembly member and perennial mayoral candidate lashed out at the party's 'mixed messages' on gender identity, suggesting her front bench team did not share her views.

You mean you've found a front bench that's sensible, for once? 

The election of new front bench representatives by the membership meant there was 'inconsistency' between her own and the party's stance, she added.

So she's off! Presumably to join a party that suits her views better. Any suggestions for her, Reader? 

She Must Have Had A Big Freezer Then...

A pet owner who stabbed her cat up to ten times while she was drunk sported a grin and gave a thumbs up outside court as she was spared jail last week.

Incredibly, the pet survived. 

She then dumped the critically ill feline inside her kitchen freezer alongside her frozen ready meals before she called the police to confess.

Officers heard the distressed cat meowing from inside the freezer when they arrived at Bennett's home and found the pet had sustained stab wounds to her leg and neck.

Such a clear cut case of cruelty must bring the harshest pun...

Oh. 

Bennett, who had two other cats, admitted to causing unnecessary suffering and was spared jail, instead being ordered to complete an 18-month community order after JPs were told she has severe mental health issues.

She was also ordered to complete a nine month alcohol treatment requirement was fined £100 and told to pay £300 in vets' bills and £95 in costs.

She was disqualified from keeping any animals for five years.

Because in five years time she'll be a responsible pet owner?  

Meanwhile, her lawyer Jed Frazer said in mitigation: 'She loved those cats and described to me that she loved them as if they were her children. She says they were always well looked after, and often, they were fed better than her.'

 If that's true, I wonder she could fit it in the freezer, it must have been the size of a leopard...

Imaginary Things...

Good old Matt...

Is The NHS Branching Out Into Ecumenical Matters..?

...or do they just use the 'Daily Mail' spellchecker? 

Sunday Funnies...

Humans are marvellous architects...but also absolute *%$%*s...

When Is A Hate Crime Not A Hate Crime?

Madeley said she had reported the incident to the Metropolitan police but was told it was not a “hate crime”.

“I was shut down & made to feel as though I was making a fuss over nothing,” she added.

Interesting! What does the Met's own webpage say is the definition of 'hate crime'? 

 It seems the rozzers are relying on this bit to avoid having to record it (or take any action):

Maybe you want to add 'theft' to that, eh?

It Took Them Two Years...

...but they finally realised what a liar he was:

Ministers are being urged to levy a £3bn sugar and salt tax as part of a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to break Britain’s addiction to junk food, cut meat consumption by nearly a third and help tackle climate change.

The government-commissioned National Food Strategy, drawn up by the restaurateur Henry Dimbleby, says the UK population’s “malfunctioning” appetites and poor diets – fuelled by consumer and manufacturer’s reliance on processed food – place an unsustainable burden on the NHS and contribute to 64,000 deaths each year.

Its most eye-catching recommendation is a levy of £3 a kilo on sugar and £6 a kilo on salt sold wholesale for use in processed food, restaurants and catering, which it says would be a world first.

He's going to agree, isn't he? Despite what he says now...

The strategy rules out a meat tax, which proved much more unpopular in a survey than the salt and sugar taxes, calling it “politically impossible”.

At the moment. But if the Blond Blancmange gives in to this, or brings it in bit by bit by stealth once the fuss dies down, it'll be back on the cards faster than you can say 'Another helping of tofu, Granny?'... 

Sentences You Have To Read Three Times...

Detectives investigating a severed foot found on a pathway more than two years ago have asked any women who are missing one to come forward.

...and they still don't really make sense.

It was found on a footpath in New Waltham, on the outskirts of Grimsby, in April 2019. Humberside Police have also tried forensic testing and DNA analysis but have been unable to find a match for the discovery, which is believed to have come from a woman aged over 16 who is around 5ft 2in tall.

Do they think this person is still alive? Incredibly...it appears they think they might be! 

Detective Chief Inspector Alan Curtis has now put out an appeal to speak to any woman in the area who has had her left foot amputated privately since 2014.

‘One line of inquiry is that the foot may have been clinical waste from a medical procedure.’

‘If you have had such a medical procedure in the past eight years, whether through the NHS or through private medical services, I would ask you to call us.’

Mindboggling. 

One For Priti's Deportation List...

Khadim Drame, who was called a 'promising young footballer', told the 45-year-old victim she was 'pretty and sexy' after following her from the bus stop in Aston Lane, Birmingham Crown Court heard.

When she rejected his advances, the then 18-year-old 'waved a bundle of cash' at her before raping her in a grassy area on Witton Lane behind Villa Park, the home of Aston Villa FC.

Feel the enrichment, folks! 

Drame, of Aston, also threatened to kill her if she pulled up her trousers during the petrifying ordeal on March 15 last year.

The rapist, now 20, initially denied a charge of rape but changed his plea to guilty on the second day of the trial after CCTV was played to the jury.

He was yesterday sentenced to 10 years and six months in a young offenders' institute at Birmingham Crown Court as the judge branded the attack 'every woman's worst nightmare'.

Why is he here? Is this a home-grown rapist? Reader, he is not: 

Judge Martin Hurst, sentencing, told Drame he would inevitably lose his career as a footballer after the court heard he had been playing at a 'high level'. He told him: 'You are now 20 years of age. At the time of the offence you were 18, nearly 19.

In 2019 you came to this country to take up an apprenticeship at Aston Villa Football Club.'

Then he should be on the first plane back after 10 years are up, shouldn't he? Oh, sorry, what am I saying. He's not even going to serve that, is he? 

Drame will serve seven-and-a-half years in the young offenders' institute before being eligible for release and will spend the remaining three years on extended licence.

*sighs* 

When Quotas Cause Accidents..?

A school bus driver has been jailed for three years for crashing a double-decker into a railway bridge, injuring 41 children, three of them seriously.

Prosecutor Nicholas Cotter told the court that Walker, who was a Stagecoach employee, had been driving the route for the first time when he had taken a wrong turn without realising.

This was a low-speed accident - the bus kept going forward at 10mph while the children screamed and the roof peeled back. Why would an experienced bus driver keep driving, in these circumstances? 

Defence lawyer Neil Fitzgibbon said Walker had learning difficulties and dyslexia but had been a "careful and diligent driver" until this crash.

He said Walker had only been given a "partial familiarisation" trip on the route by his supervisors at Stagecoach and should have been given more training because of his learning disabilities.

Why would you hire a learning disabled dyslexic to drive schoolchildren? Is ticking a diversity box more important to Stagecoach than passenger safety?

Revenge Is Indeed A Dish Best Served Cold...

Letters to the editor are often illuminating.

SIR:

In 2012, Donna Jones was a Conservative candidate for selection to be the first Police and Crime Commissioner for Hampshire. The selection process at Fareham was heavily contested. I had been selected to serve on the selection process. All the way through Donna Jones stood out as an outstanding candidate. On her final presentation, she was head and shoulders over every other candidate with her long experience, knowledge and involvement in local government and people affairs. When it was announced that Michael Mates had been elected, many of us had been devastated, particularly as his final presentation had been a disaster and concentrated mostly on the many positions he had held in the party and government.

Consequently we decided that we would not support his election campaign even though he was the official Conservative candidate. We fought a vigorous campaign against his election and eventually succeeded even though as the official Conservative candidate he should have had a walkover.

The hierarchy in the East Hampshire Conservative party never forgave me for Mr Mates' defeat. But I have no regrets, he was a poor choice. As a result of my campaign, the local Conservative party has 'blackballed' me ever since.

Sounds like you did the right thing. Well done, sir. 

H/T: i r jackson via email

Don’t Worry, Love, With You For An Example...

...your sons will soon find out what courts look like.

She was set to walk free from court after her defence lawyer outlined the impact that jailing her would have on her two sons, both of whom have ADHD.

But after she was spared jail and decided to stay and watch other members of the gang being sentenced, she took out her mobile phone and started taking photos, which is strictly forbidden and carries a maximum sentence of two years in prison.

Heathers was arrested and detained in the cells at Liverpool Crown Court, before she claimed only to have taken the photos to show one of her sons what court looks like.

/facepalm 

Judge Murray said judicial guidance stated if a serious incident of contempt of court happened, he was required to seek the permission of the presiding judge on the circuit before proceeding.

He said he would postpone the case and asked whether Heathers would let police keep her phone to examine it and check the photos weren't sent to anyone.

Wait, 'let them'..? It's evidence! Can't they simply seize it? 

Mr Hawthorne agreed but Heathers shook her head, before her barrister relayed that she was concerned because the device was "her lifeline to the world".

Too bad! 

Judge Murray said: "She is not to come back into this court for the remainder of this case, because I've not made any ruling as to what's happened. I don't know if her explanation will be accepted or not."

Sadly, the answer is 'Probably'. 

We Need To Revise That Old Saying...

"Screwdrivers and fists and permanent disability can be excused..."

Thurston, previously from Canterbury but now living in Dubai, spoke only to confirm guilty pleas to violent disorder and shoplifting.

He was sentenced to 18-months in a Young Offenders Institute suspended for two years.

"...but names are bad and hurtful!"

Is it me, or...?

Who Do You Trust To Draw It?

Former Love Island contestant Zara McDermott said “a line needs to be drawn between freedom of speech, and bullying, hate speech and abuse” as she met Digital Minister Caroline Dinenage to share her experiences of revenge porn.

Because neither of you seem bright enough. Dinenage is a nobody and you, frankly, are an idiot: 

McDermott, from Essex, has previously revealed that she faced abuse from strangers in the street after becoming the victim of revenge porn at the age of 14, saying life became “unbearable” and she considered taking her own life.

McDermott said she took the nude photograph of herself as a way of fitting in at school, where she was being bullied at the time.

As you do! 

McDermott said: “I have been subject to relentless online abuse since I entered the public eye in 2018.”

Seems like you've offered your own solution there, if only you were bright enough to realise it. 

“The Online Safety Bill is going to be fundamental in ensuring our young people feel properly protected online.

“We, as a society, do not tolerate physical abuse – so why, in the past, have we been more tolerant of online abuse? It’s important that those behind social media accounts – often anonymous – are held to account for their words.”

Well, maybe because we can't simply switch off physical abuse? Or expect a company to remove it for us?

“Social media has become a breeding ground for this behaviour and, if it is not moderated sooner, there will be significant consequences to the mental health of our young people.

“I believe the Online Safety Bill is a huge step in the right direction.”

I think we need to hear from more scantily-clad Z-list celebutards before we can be sure. 

Skewed Priorities...

'We need to find out who these people are and make examples of them. ... 'Perpetrators should be getting a knock on the door from the police and facing the full force of the law.'

Finally, a law and order Tory government demands tough action against...well, who?

Muggers? 

People who try to destroy others' lives? 

Those who see taxpayers as a never-ending well of cash to plunder for their identity politics agendas? 

Feral animals making our streets danger zones?

Well, no. It's people who tweet monkey pictures at grossly overpaid black football players. But isn't that a task for the social media companies? Are they doing nothing?

Twitter yesterday revealed how it has removed more than 1,000 racist posts targeting England football stars following the defeat.

So why is the government weighing in? 

Culture Secretary Oliver Dowden said yesterday that he shared the anger at the abuse, adding: 'Social media companies need to up their game in addressing it and, if they fail to, our new Online Safety Bill will hold them to account with fines of up to 10 per cent of global revenue.'

Ah. Of course. 

You Lost, Get Over It...

What? No, no, not the England team...

The UK’s highest court has rejected a challenge over the government’s “two-child limit” for welfare payments.

Good! It's about time there was some good news... 

The challenge was brought by two lone mothers and their children – who the court ordered cannot be identified – supported by the Child Poverty Action Group (CPAG), but was brought on behalf of all those affected by the policy.

I want to know who paid. But I bet it was me and all the other taxpayers... 

Carla Clarke, the head of strategic litigation at CPAG, said: “This is a hugely disappointing judgment, which fails to give any meaningful recognition to the reality of the policy on the ground and its desperately unfair impact on children.

“We know the two-child limit increases child poverty, including child poverty in working households, and forces women to choose between an abortion and raising their families without enough to live on.”

That should, frankly, always be the choice. It's not reasonable to expect someone else to pay for people to churn out babies like rabbits. And we have this thing called 'contraception' now.

“We continue to believe that the policy is unlawful and, together with our clients, are considering taking the matter to the European court of human rights so that no child is left out of the social security safety net purely because of their birth order.”

The legal aid safety net is still there, though, I see. Eh, Carla? 

 

"Siri, Show Me A Headline That Encapsulates 2021..."

Officials in London's Redbridge borough were left red-faced after a library event designed to promote reading among kids featured a monkey character in a costume that included dangling fake genitalia and exposed buttocks.

The costume and the actor wearing it came from Mandinga Arts, a troupe of street performers based in Clapham South that has "a distinctive style bringing together live music, carnival, street costume, puppetry and dance, drawing on diverse influences from Europe, Latin America, the Caribbean and Africa," according to its website.

And presumably Japan... 

Redbridge Libraries acknowledged the lapse in judgement and apologized for hosting the performance, but shifted the blame onto the charity Vision. It was they, rather than the borough council, who were responsible for organizing the event, the statement said.

Typical! 

Council leader Jas Athwal called the situation "disgusting" and said the charity had confirmed to him that all scheduled events were cancelled, but he likewise distanced himself from the controversy.

After whining on social media that those complaining about it were 'Johnny come latelys'... 

I Suppose I Should Mark The Occasion...

We'll see...

Spot The Mistake...

/facepalm

Sunday Funnies...

I have a new-found respect for Elizabeth Barratt Browning...

The Only Remorse She Feels Now, Judge, Is For Herself...

Audi driver Leanne Webb, 36, of Wychall Lane, Birmingham, was jailed on Friday at Wolverhampton Crown Court for four years and four months.

Charlotte Whittle, now 31, suffered brain damage while returning home to Quinton, Birmingham, in her Kia Venga with her 20-month-old daughter, Harper, on May 8, 2019.

She was doing 104mph in a 50mph zone.

Webb initially denied being at fault and even blamed Charlotte for turning across her path.

Through the trial she admitted dangerous driving but claimed she'd been under duress.

A likely story. 

Desmond Lennon, defending Webb, said the speeding was of an 'exceptional nature' and was not something 'she had done regularly'.

A jury made up of drivers who have encountered Audi drivers before aren't going to believe that...  

Judge Barry Berlin, said he rejected, as the jury did, her 'crocodile tears' as she pretended to show remorse for the victims early on in the case but accepted she felt some remorse now.

For herself. I guarantee it.

The Mark Of A Good Bill..?

It's when it upsets all the right people:

Analysis of Home Office data by the Refugee Council suggests 9,000 people who would be accepted as refugees under current rules – those confirmed to have fled war or persecution following official checks – may no longer be given safety in the UK due to their means of arrival under the changes. 

The charity’s chief executive, Enver Solomon, said that for decades people had taken “extraordinary measures to flee oppression”, but had gone on to become “law-abiding citizens playing by the rules and paying their taxes as proud Britons”.

And a lot of them haven't, Enver. But I expect none of those sort are ever housed near you, so why worry? 

Steve Valdez-Symonds, refugee and migrants rights programme director at Amnesty International UK, branded the bill “legislative vandalism”, claimed it could “fatally undermine the right to asylum” and accused Patel of a “shameful dereliction of duty”, adding: “This reckless and deeply unjust bill is set to bring shame on Britain’s international reputation.”

Will it stop the 'asylum seekers' trying to get in illegally? If not, and I suspect it won't, then clearly our 'international reputation' is secure. 

Sonya Sceats, chief executive of Freedom from Torture, described the plans as “dripping with cruelty” and an “affront to the caring people in this country who want a kinder, fairer approach to refugees”.

You mean these people? Fuck them, Sonya. I say that most sincerely. 

More than 250 organisations – including the Refugee Council, the British Red Cross, Freedom from Torture, Refugee Action and Asylum Matters – have joined to form the coalition Together with Refugees to call for a more effective, fair and humane approach to asylum in the UK.

I like it when my enemies group together like this. It makes for easier targeting.  

Given It's Croydon, I'm Only Surprised It Wasn't From A Gun...

Janet, 26, who lives in Crystal Palace, was about to tuck into them with her daughter over the weekend when four-year-old exclaimed that she'd found something on one of them.

"We washed them twice including with some bicarbonate of soda (Ed: I prefer cream and sugar on mine!), and then we left to dry out. Then my daughter picked out one she wanted and said: 'Mum there's a bug on it, there's a bug on it!'

Your child is going to fail at school if she confuses molluscs with insects... 

Janet called the company's customer service and was offered a five pound gift card in response, something she didn't consider wholly adequate.

What a shock! 

Why Are These Things Never Dealt With The First Time?

The owner of a large Bullmastiff that killed a woman's beloved dog and injured her during a tussle has been handed...

The ashes of his mutt and a huge bill for damages?

...a community order.

*sighs*  

The charge related to an incident on June 17 last year when Devaney's dog, Buster, escaped from his garden and attacked Margaret Simmonite's pet dog, Harry.

The court heard how Mrs Simmonite suffered cuts to her finger trying to restrain Buster and then had the traumatic experience of paying vet bills to have Harry put down, due to his injuries.

It came after Buster had already attacked Harry three years prior to this altercation.

It should have been destroyed as a dangerous dog then and there. Not reliant on the owner keeping others safe from his beast.  

When sentencing he said: “Unfortunately, as we both know, it was simply, simply the failure to check that the gate was at least fastened, locked up, to which led directly, and there’s no other way of putting it, to the death of Mrs Simmonite’s dog, Harry, and inevitably caused some injury to her when she tried to restrain Buster."

He outlined that other than checking on everything all the time, Devaney's only other possible preventative measure was to get rid of Buster, which he did "unfortunately after the damage was done".

When it's too late. As usual. 

Only In The 'Guardian' Could This Be Judged A Bad Thing...

So are council snatch squads going street to street sweeping up all foreign rough sleepers? Reader, they are not:

New government guidance published in April 2021 states that migrant rough sleepers could have their permission to remain in the UK refused or cancelled if they have “repeatedly refused suitable offers of support and engaged in persistent antisocial behaviour”.

Who could possibly object to this? Well, of course, it's the usual suspects... 

Following the introduction of the new Home Office guidance in April of this year lawyers, charities and trades unions have raised the alarm that migrant rough sleepers might once again be rounded up and removed from the UK.

The lawyers, trades unions and charities are clearly concerned that they may lose some of their flock; got to keep that aid and grant money rolling in, after all! 

A report launched on Thursday by Public Interest Law Centre – Still Here: Defending the Rights of Homeless EU Citizens after Brexit and Covid-19 – has identified some groups of EU citizens who will be particularly vulnerable to removal now that the deadline for EUSS applications has passed.

Good of them to give the Home Office some pointers! 

Those at risk include working-class people from eastern and central Europe, people of colour and victims of domestic violence. The report calls for a culture change and a rights-based approach to protect these groups.

What about a rights-based approach to the UK citizens with a right to live here, and who don't hang around in shop doorways begging, for a change? 

I'm Guessing It Wasn't Aspirin...

A mum had medication for her sister stolen as she was robbed and threatened in the street in front of her son.

The woman, in her 30’s, was targeted by a man in Manor Road, Laindon shortly after 10.50am on Tuesday.

She took to social media with a lengthy Facebook post to warn others and appeal for information.

The victim said the man threatened to attack her if she did not hand over the medication she was taking to her sister.

The attacker, described as white, 6 foot tall, slim, with ginger facial hair, approached her from behind.

...or the thief thought it wasn't aspirin. 

Terri Sargent, Tory chairman of Basildon Council’s communities and wellbeing committee, said: “It is very bizarre for someone to steal medication like this, I mean what can he do with it.

“It’s dangerous and she’s quite right to warn others to be careful after this.

“I imagine it would have been quite frightening, especially to think that someone is going about doing this.

“You’ve got to ask yourself what next and I think people are going to have to be careful.

“It’s very frightening and they must have been watching the woman. We don’t want it happening anywhere in our borough and it’s just crazy.”

So it's OK if it happens over the border in someone else's borough? 

Musical Interlude - July:"You know, I used to be in the music business, but now I'm what you might call retired. It's a refined name for bum."

Yes, it's cheesy, it was a flop (but is now a cult favourite), it's from my 'Soundtrack Retrospective' all the way back in 2011 (thanks to ELO's great album), it's 'Xanadu'.

And you really have to wonder how the pitch for this one went, don't you? "OK, it's about ancient Greek myths coming to life and meddling in the lives of mortals. And we've got roller-skating Olivia and...wait for this, it'll blow your mind...Gene Kelly! Great, eh?"

My favourite track is this one: 

There's More To Worry About Here Than The Physical Assault...

An occupational therapist who slapped a four-year-old boy with learning difficulties when he refused to put on his shoes and socks has avoided being struck off from his profession, a court has heard.

Ramon Priess, 34, struck the vulnerable child's face '10 to 20 times' after he pretended to be asleep at a session at the Maximum Potential clinic in Devonshire Place, central London, in April 2019.

The attack, which happened in front of the boy's mother, left the child with a 'reddened' right cheek.

I'd have thought the mother would have intervened. With the nearest heavy object! 

The mother witnessed the incident and spoke to the child's father later that evening, who then sent an email to Priess.

Sent an email!! What sort of family is this?

Priess responded: 'Apologies for what has happened today. This wasn't meant to hurt him at all. He complained over pain in his mouth just before as well.

'There is nothing I can do to justify what happened and I suppose it is probably best if [the child] stays with Maximum Potential and does not see me privately.

'The lines are blurring between my professional relationship/private friendship with [the mother] and [the child]. They feel like family to me and I handled it in a way I would with my nephews and nieces.'

Well, good grief, if that doesn't ring alarm bells, what does? 

In September 2019, Priess was charged with assault by beating but he left the UK in December 2019 and started work in a paediatric occupational health practice in Berlin, Germany. He was still working there in February this year.

Clearly, the Germans are quite sanguine about the prospects of employing a total wrong 'un in such a delicate and crucial role. But why should we be in the UK? 

He pleaded not guilty but was convicted following a trial at Westminster Magistrates Court in March 2020 and was handed a 12 week prison sentence, suspended for 12 months in June 2020.

You'd think that would be it, but no. 

...a conduct and competence committee of the Health and Care Professions Tribunal Service has ruled he will only be suspended from the profession for six months, after hearing it was an 'isolated event' and that he had apologised.

All it takes is an apology? Seriously? 

'[Mr Priess] has insight, does appear to be willing to resolve matters, is unlikely to repeat the misconduct, and has apologised for his actions, which were an isolated event in his career.

'A Striking Off Order would be disproportionate in all the circumstances.'

It is unclear if the suspension will affect Priess' ability to practise abroad or if he will only be suspended in the UK, with the tribunal adding that it only 'might have an effect on his ability to work as an Occupational Therapist in Germany'.

Good grief! 

Third Time's The Charm...

A man has been found guilty of stabbing a teenager in a brutal attack on a London bus.

Arslan Ahmed, 20, from Waltham Forest was convicted of one count of GBH and two counts of GBH with intent at Snaresbrook Crown Court on Tuesday June, 22.

So far, so vibrant and enriching. But this isn't his first rodeo by far... 

Just a few months earlier, Ahmed also stabbed a 17-year-old boy in the neck in an unprovoked attack.

In October 2019 he was involved in another incident in Bradford, West Yorkshire, in which a man was attacked and stabbed.

And he's only 20. 

Sentencing for all three offences is due to be heard at Snaresbrook Crown Court on Tuesday, October 5.

Don't rush, eh? Got to get all those reports in order, I suppose... 

H/T: ClownWorld via Twitter

I Think We've Eliminated All Problems...

Amazon is being urged to rename its personal assistant...

Oh, my mistake! 

...because girls also named Alexa are being relentlessly bullied by other schoolchildren, their parents say.

Schoolchildren bully other schoolchildren? Why, this is unheard of! 

The assistant's granting of a name shared by real people has resulted in movements such as 'Alexa is a Human' — which is lobbying Amazon to reconsider the choice. There are some 4,000 individuals named Alexa under the age of 25 in the UK alone — many of whom report experiencing mockery thanks to their digital namesake.

People must be protected from mockery at all costs! Forget protecting them from crime, disease or avoidable accidents, this is far more important... 

'Alexa is a Human' is the initiative of Massachusetts resident Lauren Johnson, who was moved to act after the distress experienced by her own daughter.

'My daughter Alexa is nine now. The whole thing is a step beyond 'normal' teasing and bullying. It's identity erasure,' Ms Johnson told BBC News.

Gosh, I don't know why the Americans - and particularly, liberal women - have a reputation for being overly-dramatic flakes, do you, Reader?  

Critics of Amazon have suggested that the tech firm has not sufficiently advertised the fact that the wake word for their devices can be changed.

Read the f***ing manual! 

Another Day, Another Bout Of Savagery On London's Streets...

Superintendent Petra Lazar, of South East BCU, said: 'It is shocking and extremely saddening that a teenage boy has lost his life as the result of knife crime.'

Not really. We seem to be breeding a whole generation of young knife killers.

'This incident will understandably cause worry and concern to local residents and I would like to reassure them my officers are supporting the murder detectives in every way we can. Increased patrols will be carried out in the area over the next few days.'

I wonder if they are really 'concerned' or if they just shrug it off? They must be pretty used to it by now. 

Today Matthew Pennycook, the Labour MP for Greenwich and Woolwich, wrote on Twitter: 'Woolwich is grieving the senseless murder of yet another young man on our streets this evening. Another family devastated.

'The promise of another life extinguished. I urge anyone with any information to come forward to the police.'

Perhaps if you were more concerned with the safety of people in your borough, and less with 'climate change' things might be different?

I'd Prefer They Showed An Understanding Of Biology...

Yesterday, the Conservative gay rights envoy has claimed Boris Johnson told off his cabinet for getting into a culture war on LGBT issues - and wants them to show 'kindness and tolerance'.

...and didn't seek to deny reality to spare the feelings of a dangerously vocal minority who reject any tolerance towards others.

Housing secretary Robert Jenrick has said he agrees with Liz Truss that 'women have vaginas'.

Speaking to Times Radio, Mr Jenrick said: 'I think there's a matter of biology, of course, what is a woman. I mean absolutely, I agree with Liz Truss. That's the point that she's made in the past.

'Undoubtedly, of course we want to ensure that those people who are trans can live their life comfortably.

'I want everyone to be able to live their life the way they want to and be happy and to find love wherever they can do.

'One does have to be aware of the impact on other people and that means we have to be particularly sensitive in terms of some of those settings that we as a government are responsible for like schools, like hospitals, like prisons.

'One has to tread carefully and think through all of the consequences of this for other members of society.'

So who is this 'gay envoy'? 

Lord Herbert of South Downs was taken on as the Government's 'Special Envoy on LGBT rights' in May, with the aim to 'champion equality at home and abroad'.

The Tory peer - and Britain's first openly gay MP - claimed the Prime Minister doesn't want ministers to 'take a side in what some are seeing clearly as a culture war'.

Mr Johnson instead preached 'kindness, tolerance and openness' when discussing lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issues, Lord Herbert said.

Surely 'openness' includes an acceptance of biological reality? 

They Aren't 'Men'...

The girl tried to stop the attack and received a laceration to the finger in the process.

Following this the two men ran off, taking the three dogs they had with them.

Police say the victim described the men as being around 18 years old, Asian and wearing tracksuits.

Both had dark hair which was cut shorter at the sides and longer on top. The dogs involved were described as being very large, at about waist-height on the teenager, and having dark brown fur. One of these dogs may have had the name 'Sasha'.

...they are disgusting cowards. With weapon dogs. 

Derbyshire police is urging anyone who might have seen the incident, or who might have information about what happened or those involved, to get in touch quoting incident reference 21*349330.

Why? According to the comments you already know about them: 

The scum with the weapon dogs aren't the only gutless, lazy incompetents, it seems...

 

"Hey, Photo Boy, We Need A Picture Of An Indian Elephant..."

"Errr, is this OK, boss?"

"Sure, whatever..."

*Sigh*

 

But then, does anyone expect better of estate agents?

Sunday Funnies...

Given the covid hysteria, I'm really not sure we're in any shape to laugh at the credulous fools of history...

Attention-Seekers Get Attention, But Don't Like It...

Police are investigating an alleged hate crime after a 14-year-old pupil said they were branded a 'tranny' and attacked with hand sanitiser in the classroom.

Emily Wilkinson-Quinn, 14, is 'completely traumatised' and has taken time away from school after they were targeted over their sexuality, family claim.

Worried mum Natasha-Jayne Wilkinson, 34, said Emily was followed into their classroom by a male classmate and attacked.

What is it with this family and their hyphens?

Natasha-Jayne said Emily, who has shaven hair, has been bullied after coming out as gay to classmates last year.

She's 14. And 'coming out' isn't enough, I suppose? She has to declare herself by appearance too. 

Natasha-Jayne claimed it took the school more than a week to identify the pupil responsible - and he was only suspended from school for five days.

What should they have done, flogged him until he passed out during morning assembly? 

A spokesperson for the school's headteacher said: 'The school is unable lawfully, and does not propose, to comment on an entirely confidential matter which involves the welfare of children.'

While no doubt muttering, under theie breath:"...but we can't stop the mother from spouting off to every eager journalist who'll listen in her quest for publicity and her daughter's martyrdom on the cross of genderwar." 

Perhaps It's All That Heading The Ball That Does It...

Kelvin Odichukumma Igweani, 24, was pronounced dead at the scene after an officer fired four shots, Milton Keynes Coroner's Court was told.

This comes hot on the heels of the cop sent to deal with another ex-footballer headcase threatening his family getting convicted of 'brutality' in subduing him. 

Let's hope the cop who put down this savage doesn't also face charges...