I Guess He Wasn't A Bit Pasty-Faced Then?

Alex Ruffon, 13, from Goonhavern, was travelling on the bus from Newquay Tretherras School on November 8 when the driver made the offensive remark in front of other pupils.

The offensive remark ('dirty little Arab') was addressed to the boy who, it was claimed, was spitting on the floot and picking his nose. He's lucky I wasn't driving!

But, of course, their precious little (mixed race!) darling can do no wrong, and this remark is horrid, horrid racism!

The youngster's stepfather, Matthew Walsh, complained to bus operator Hopley's and said: "They told me that Alex had been badly behaved on the bus, spitting on the floor and picking his nose. She remarked that the driver's comment was not racist but an old Cornish saying, but there's nothing Cornish about it.

"I was very angry that someone acting as a spokesman for a company could be condoning racism."

Condoning it?

Yes, incredible as it sounds, the company aren't caving in and sacking the driver before delivering sacks full of cash to the aggrieved party:

Following an investigation, Cornwall Council wrote to Mr Walsh saying the driver had admitted using the phrase "dirty little Arab".

The letter said reports showed the driver had used it in the past to others, regardless of ethnicity, and was apparently ignorant of its racist connotations.

In a statement to the West Briton Cornwall Council added: "It was entirely inappropriate for the driver to use such language, both the driver and operator have received a formal warning and been instructed that use of such language will not be tolerated in the future."

Refreshing, eh?

Of course, there are those that won't let this lie, and they aren't all relations of the little hooligan either:

Dean Harvey, a member of the Cornwall Racial Equality Council said the bus company had been naive in its handling of the complaint.

"There needs to be a zero-tolerance to this sort of language. When working with the public you need to be aware, ignorance is no defence. An apology is warranted."

Awwww, diddums! Not that you are rent-seeking here, eh?

I mean, given the racial mix of the West Country, you must be pretty short of things to do in your day-to-day job. What a shame for you no one videoed it, you could have had your own small-scale #Twittermob going in no time!

Comments, as ever, are illuminating.

Blog Title Of The Month

A three-way tie this month!

NorthNorthwester discovers the 'Exclusive Brethren' haven't been sticking to their own principles:

And NickM at 'Counting Cats' finds Chief Rabbi Sacks' comment on consumerism a little too hard to take:



While Richard at 'Going Fast, Getting Nowhere' highlights the dumb things people say:

Quote Of The Month

...comes from 'All Copped Out':

My experience tends me towards belief that human organisation is more likely incompetent than good at what it’s supposed to do. I’ve lived (a couple of times only just) through too many cock-ups to believe otherwise and one only has to look at the mammoth looting pool for the rich that masquerades as economics to know,when promised a piss up in a brewery that the organisers will send you to the wrong one.

Post Of The Month

Angry Exile has fun with farmyard animals...

Not An ‘Ordinary’ Person…?

Grandfather-of-six Harry Clare, 65, told a court he was heading along Portland Street in Manchester when the double-decker forced him onto the pavement.

He followed it to Piccadilly bus station and went to the driver’s window, thinking he might get an apology.

Oh oh! You can see where this is heading, can’t you?

But the bus driver, former police officer Neil Whittaker-Axon, leaned out and began repeatedly punching him, lifting him off the ground by his collar and smashing his sunglasses.

Well, that’s a guaranteed prison sent…

D’oh!

Whittaker-Axon, 38, walked free from court having been found guilty of common assault by beating – after magistrates were told he had been made homeless after losing his job at bus firm Finglands.

Awwww, bless! He’s clearly been punished enough….

Whittaker-Axon, now of Broom Lane, Levenshulme, told the court: "I was defending myself. I felt he had committed an offence and I wanted him to be arrested and charged with it."

And, since you were no longer a police officer and therefore lacked a warrant card, you decided to…assault him?

He was fined £150 and ordered to pay £100 costs, £175 compensation and a £15 victim surcharge. The fine and compensation will come out of his benefits.

In other words, we’re paying…

Chairman of the Bench Colin Thompson said: "It’s very sad. You’re not an ordinary person, you’ve been a public servant."

I’ve a newsflash for your, your honour – there’s actually nothing out of the ordinary about public servants. It’s just their job…`

What's In A Name..?

There is of course no suggestion that innocent Jihad will grow up to become the kind of terror extremist that his name suggests.

Suuuure he won't...

But hang on, this is Germany. And, like France, they don't let parents have total freedom to give their offspring whatever ridiculous name they fancy, do they?

So, why has this not been challenged?

H/T: Ranter in comments

The Wisdom Of Playwrights…

The London riots will happen again unless action is taken to tackle the "burning anger" among the capital's poorer communities, according to the author of a play about the summer's unrest.

Hmmm, here are some pictures of career criminals stealing goods they can fence for money to buy drugs desperately poor people stealing essential items:

Strange how no-one's stealing food or medicine, isn't it? Or anything that might educate them out of their 'poverty'.

Gillian Slovo, whose work The Riots opened at the Tricycle Theatre in Kilburn last night, told the Standard that unemployment was to blame for the widespread looting that devastated London in August.

Hmmm, well, was it? Or was it lawlessness as a way of life?

Still, we should, apparently, bow to the experience of playwrights in the matters of crime and ‘social unrest’, shouldn’t we?

Oh:

Ms Slovo said she had lacked the powers of a public inquiry to subpoena witnesses but was confident the play was a fair picture of events.

Of course she was ‘confident’. It mirrored what she assumed to be the cause, and so, therefore, it simply had to be…

Third Time’s The Charm!

Linda Boyd, 31, was found struggling to carry home £500 of booze and cigarettes in a bin liner when she was stopped by police during the August disturbances.

She was hauled before Judge Andrew Gilbart QC, but Manchester’s top judge did not jail her because he accepted she was already in the city centre and had become swept up in the rioting. Boyd was given a 10-month suspended sentence at Manchester Crown Court on August 16 and warned she would be sent to prison if she fell foul of the law in the next two years.

Yeah. You can guess what happened next.

But just days later Boyd was again caught shoplifting more than £1,000 of clothing from a Marks & Spencer store in Altrincham.

And, proving that it’s not just her that isn’t learning a thing from this…

Boyd, of Cutland Street, Newton Heath, was spared prison for a second time when she appeared at Minshull Street Crown Court in September, this time receiving a 10-week suspended sentence.

*sigh*

Now she is finally behind bars after failing to attend her probation appointments.

Shocker, I think you’ll agree…

Boyd was told she would have to serve the original 10-month and 10-week sentences, to run concurrently.

Why not consecutively?

And the reason for the leniency isn’t because she had a spotless record, either:

The court heard she had a long history of shoplifting including stealing from the Arndale Centre, the Co-op and JD Sports.

But we know the justice system doesn’t see shoplifting as real stealing, don’t we?

Revolving Door Police Work…

Shoebury teenager Hollie Jarrett has been reported missing again less than a day after being found safe and sound.

/facepalm

Anyone who has seen Hollie should contact police on 101.

Why?

So they can waste even more time searching for her, only for her to run away yet again?

Funny How You Never Hear ‘Leader Of The Gang’ On Radio 2 Either…

Celebrity interviews tend to be preceded by a courteous email exchange between publicist and journalist, one politely begging the other to play ball. But Jonathan King – singer-songwriter, pop impresario, lifetime holder of a spot on the sex offender's register – cuts out the middlemen with a letter to the editor.

"You might be interested to see that my autobiography was last week No 1 on the Amazon Kindle pop culture chart," he writes. "My YouTube videos have literally millions of views... Yet I'm still airbrushed out of the BBC Stalinist revision of history; the chart shows have been instructed not to play my music!... I think at least an interview with me would be fascinating copy."

Frankly, I think you should have got the airbrushing just for ‘Una Paloma Blanca’, never mind anything else…

Another Poor 'Victim'..?

Police investigating an allegation of a sex attack by a 14-year-old girl have said the teenager made the story up.

Well, at least this one hadn't managed to get anyone arrested for it! And being 14, I suppose we can expect little or even no punishment?

Well, amazingly enough...

The teenager has been referred to a "safeguarding unit" for support.

Sounds to me as if we need 'safeguarding' from her...

The usual old flannel gets wheeled out, of course:

Det Ch Insp Simon Atkinson said: "We will always thoroughly and proactively investigate any serious sexual assault reported to us and provide ongoing support to the victim.

"However, in this particular case, we have discovered a false allegation has been made and the appropriate referrals have been put in place in order to support this girl."

Because, of course, she's the victim here...

H/T: Kevin via email

I Guess I Know Why She ‘Doesn’t Want To Be Named’…

A superstore has apologised after shocked children found “appalling” hardcore pornographic images on a store’s display iPad.

Currys in New Malden was forced to make the embarrassing apology after the children found the x-rated images when they walked into the electrical store.

Easy to see what’s happened. A malfunction in Curry’s wi-fi system has meant there’s no block on offensive sites, so some wee prankster has browsed to them and left the iPad in ‘display’ mode for the next customer to see.

I mean, it’s entirely possible a disaffected staff member has actually done it, but given the woeful lack of IT savvy shown by the average Currys staffer, probably not…

Their distraught Chessington mother, who did not want to be named, said: “They were only 10 seconds ahead so I was there within a click of a finger but they were on the iPad, which was sitting there fully loaded with hardcore porn.

“You are not talking soft but the most disgusting images. There were maybe 20 images loaded and flashing and changing. It took me a minute to even realise what I was looking at.”

Oh, dear. Well, worse things happen at sea, eh love? It’s certainly not worth going overboard for, is it?

The mother of the children, who range from toddler to teen, complained to the store manager and later to the Currys customer service team. She said the damage had already been done to her children, who will no longer be getting the Apple gadget for Christmas.

I…

Wait.

What?

Because of this incident, she’s now not going to buy them a tablet computer? Because, what, she thinks they come fully loaded with pr0n..?!?

Good grief, she’s too damn stupid to own a computer of any kind!

She said: “We went out for something happy and we came back appalled. I am absolutely disgusted.

“I was so upset, I have cried for days. I just want the kids to forget it but the youngest does still mention it and laughs. It’s not right.”

*throws hands up in despair*

To borrow the Angry Exile’s favourite phrase, ‘kinell! Forget the tablet PC, this woman's clearly too stupid to have kids...

Best. Local Newspaper Comment. Ever..!

Pupils from a Westcliff primary school are set to tackle speeding motorists.

No, they aren’t going to be given speed guns, but they are going to be given motorists a stern talking-to:

Traffic cops will stand by the road-side recording the speed of oncoming vehicles and stopping any motorists caught speeding.

The driver is then given the option of either accepting a £30 fine and three points on their licence, or speaking to pupils who go to the nearby school.

If they do opt to speak to the children, they will be asked a series of questions, which the children themselves have devised, and given a poster to go home with to remind them of their experience.

Which prompted this comment:

Alan Jacobs says...

Blimey all the kiddie fiddlers are gonna be holding drag races on Salisbury Ave.

Heh!

But what isn’t quite so funny is that this is considered appropriate use of school time…

Another Dangerous Dog Att…No, Wait, Sorry. It’s The Owner…

After police attended the scene Killeen later became agitated and kicked out, striking an officer, before spitting at another.

Surely the vet had a capture pole they could have used? Or a tranquilliser gun?

Christos Christou, defending, said….“As far as the day in question is concerned she was on a great deal of medication.”

He added his client had drunk a glass of wine and with that and a combination of medication and issues about her mental health she had acted out of character.

Really? Yet she was already on a community order at the time, so no, probably not at all ‘out of character’.

Killeen, who has been to see a community psychiatric nurse, pleaded guilty to causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal and two counts of assaulting a constable in the execution of their duty.

She was given…. Yeah, you guessed it! Another community order….

She was also ordered to pay £25 compensation to each of the two police officers and pay £85 costs.

£25? /facepalm

Local Newspaper Adverts...

...truly, the gift that keeps on giving:

D'oh!

H/T: Dave Ward via email (spotted in his local newspaper)

Oh. Yeah. That’ll Do It….

A public common car park on the outskirts of Brentwood has been closed until work is carried out to deter doggers.

Infra-red CCTV? Manned guard post?

Well, no.

The Tylers Common Nags Head Lane car park, on the border of Upminster and Brentwood, was closed last week while Havering Council removes vegetation round the perimeter of the car park….

Yup! ‘Trim your bush to deter doggers!’.

YCMIU

Well, There's One Obvious Explanation...

And that's that, 2 million years ago, it wasn't a bloody desert!

Turn Down The VOLUME!!

I think something went a little bit wrong in the 2011 version of the typesetting department.

Try taking your fingers off the shift key, mate!

Miss Smilla Had A Feeling For Snow, Inspector Gadget Has A Feeling For Timing...

...in fact, I think I'm going to have to break in a new blog tag!

In yet another post on how the police need taser now and all the people who disagree are not just wrong but possibly 'sinister anti-authority types who simply do not want (the police) to be able to protect ourselves', the good Inspector has this to say:

"Refusing to let us have TASER in case we shoot the wrong person is like refusing to let us have cars in case we run someone over, boots in case we kick someone in the head or a first aid kit in case we give the wrong treatment. On my team we take the deployment of TASER very seriously. I haven’t even heard the team joke about it.

When we get our handguns, and we will get them folks, we will treat them with the same reverence."

That's good to know. Because, in the 'Mail' this morning, we have this:

A police firearms officer has been moved to other duties after accidentally firing his handgun in a garage at a police station.

The PC was cleaning his Glock 9mm semi-automatic pistol when it went off.

Remember, folks, only the police can be trusted with guns, because they are the professionals!

You citizens (who are, of course, always on the scene much quicker than the police ever are) are not to be trusted with them. You can have a broom, but don't wield it too hard, will you?

Glock pistols have three safety mechanisms but it is not known if any of them had been released.

I think it hardly matters, because this utter cretin was cleaning a loaded gun!!

One source said that procedures had been tightened since the incident.

Presumably emails have been sent out to all fiorearms officers warning them not to clean a loaded gun!!

Sunday Funnies

Now, get these in the Olympics and even I might be tempted to watch!

Move On, Move On, Nothing To See Here….

A woman who claimed to have been raped on Colchester's Middlewick Ranges yesterday has withdrawn her allegation.

Two men, including an 18-year-old from Colchester, were arrested but then released without charge after the woman admitted the sex was consensual.

Just two men whose details and DNA are now stored on the police database, and a lying bitch who will never, ever see any punishment for it…

Blimey, I Thought Only Inspector Gadget Had Timing This Bad..!

Staffordshire bull terriers have been unfairly “stigmatised” as dangerous dogs and make “perfectly harmless” family pets, a government minister has said.

This is Jim Paice, the agriculture minister, who makes his comment just as this incident hits the headlines:

Police were called after a snarling dog attacked at least two people in Leeds city centre.

The drama began in Briggate, Leeds, shortly before 12.45pm yesterday when a Staffordshire bull terrier-type dog went out of control and attacked a street vendor and then a woman shopper.

Whoops!

Now, Paice is quite right in that – with a responsible owner – most Staffies will not be a problem:

However, he said ministers were considering reforms to the law, expected to be announced early next year, in order to make sure dog owners face up to their responsibilities to control potentially dangerous animals.

Indeed.

As the Leeds incident shows, though, it's going to take a Herculean effort to get that through to some people:

Bodyshop assistant Ms Emma Snowden said: “The dog apparently went for the chestnut seller around the ankle and the dog’s owner began to batter it to get it under control.”

/facepalm

Some people shouldn’t be allowed to own animals. And some are little better than animals themselves:

PC Glenn Tucker who had gone to Hammond's caravan to detain him in September, told the court of Hammond's howling.

The officer said: "He was making shrieking and howling noises, as you would expect a wolf to howl.

"I understand that he was maybe calling his dogs."

And we remain ridiculously sentimental about animals, even those that should be expunged from the earth without a second thought:

The dogs will not but destroyed but are to be re-homed.

Partially because the judge was unable to distinguish which of the dogs took part in the attack and so was ‘responsible’.

There is, it seems, no 'joint enterprise' for dogs...

Jane Ellison, Conservative MP for Battersea, told the Commons she feared that Staffordshire bull terriers had developed a bad reputation following a series of attacks.

Clutching a picture of a dog, Ms Ellison told MPs that the animals were among the most difficult to re-home.

“One of the consequences of the dangerous dogs debate has been the stigmatisation of an entire breed, the Staffordshire bull terrier,” she said.

The MP urged the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) to back a campaign to rid the breed of its bad reputation.

Doesn’t DEFRA have enough to contend with with badgers and farm animals? How is the government supposed to make this change?

Well, new (probably equally ineffective) legislation is planned:

The minister said negotiations were “at a very advanced stage” on reforming the law, and suggested that details would be announced early in the new year.

One key area for reform is likely to be the current rules making it impossible to prosecute dog owners if an attack takes place on private property, including in their own homes, on private roads, and privately run housing estates and parks.

Postal workers are particularly at risk and ministers are considering changes to make such legal action possible.

And none of this will make the slightest bit of difference. Why not?

Because it's going to be administered and monitored and enforced by the same people who are failing utterly to carry out their duty under the current law.

I said a day or so ago that this country is doomed. Well, as we can see, it’s clearly going to the dogs!

Lawyers: They Just Can’t Stop Making Excuses For People!

A lawyer told how he was "horrified" to find squatters had moved into his half-finished £4million home.

Hah! Well, since it’s now happened to a lawyer, can we expect less sympathy, and more harsh action?

Oh, and they aren’t just stealing his property, they’re changing it beyond all recognition!

Bags of rubbish, bricks and other debris are strewn in the front garden of the property, which has been undergoing building work for the past year, while the squatters are said to have made some drastic changes inside.

Mr Lal, 38, a partner in a law firm, said today: "It is horrifying that this can happen. I've only seen the house from the outside but they've certainly made changes. I think they've plumbed in a kitchen and bathroom."

You’d expect him to be furious, but it seems, no, understanding is what’s required:

"What seems to have happened is a misunderstanding," said Mr Lal. "These squatters thought the property was abandoned, but actually it's a building site that's going to be turned into a high-spec residential property.

"Highgate is an expensive area and that house is worth a fortune. These people thought somebody had just left it like that but we were waiting on planning permission."

They are thieves. You aren’t at work now. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR THEM!

A notice pinned to the front window, apparently by the squatters, states that anyone attempting to enter the building will face legal action. It reads: "We live in this property, it is our home and we intend to stay here."

It’s not your home. Only in this country, with this situation, can a thief be so goddamn brazen about their thievery!

One Polish occupant, 24, who did not want to give her name, said high London rents left her no option but to live there. "We always try to find buildings which are empty and abandoned," she said. "There are so many empty buildings which are just not in use and no one living in them. Why? It is a big waste."

Well, I’m not driving my car on weekdays, since I use public transport, would you like that too, you freeloading bitch?

"My friend is a single mum and she was waiting for a very long time to get a council flat. She was living in a squat because she couldn't make money and afford to pay rent. Squatting is a kind of solution.

"Squatting for me is not forever, it is something I do for the moment. As long as I don't hurt somebody else's feelings it is okay."

What utter self-absorption! What shameless admittance that the law is there for others to obey, but not her, unless she feels like it!

Much grist for MacHeath’s mill here, I suspect…

But then, with useful idiots like Mr Lal cringing before these scofflaws, what else can you expect?

Mr Lal said planning approval has now been given and building work will resume on Monday. He explained he had struck a deal with the group.

"The squatters have agreed to vacate before the building work starts and if they're true to their word, they should leave," he said.

Newsflash, Mr Lal. They are criminals. Their word means about as much as yours, though you probably charge more….

Pointless? Check! Unwanted? Check! Grandstanding? Check!

Well, it just must be a Green Party initiative, then:

The first blanket 20mph zone will be introduced in a London borough from next week after more than two years of planning.

Hurrah! says everyone! That’ll make a real difference, yes?

But there is confusion between Islington council and the Met about how the new zones will be policed.

Police told councillors that it was too expensive to spend their time on the policy and they would not crack down on motorists if residents complained.

*chuckle*

The zones will in effect be self-policing, using 20mph road signs until the council and Met reach an agreement.

In other words, it’s a pointless ‘feel good’ policy (rather like the ‘Nuclear Free Zones’ that sprang up in Ken Livingstone’s day), designed to appeal to Green Party voters and idiots.

But I repeat myself…

Best Use Of A Split Infinitive In A Local Newspaper 2011!

Police are investigating a report that a hit and run driver fled after a car crashed into a baby’s buggy in Bournemouth.

Mum Shenagh Coombes was shocked when the woman drove allegedly off after the accident in St Stephen’s Road.

With runner-up in the ‘Best Chav Name For Offspring 2011’ too!

Ten-month-old daughter Kensiee escaped unharmed but the family’s brand new buggy was damaged and is now unusable.

I…

I just….

There Can Be Only One!

Sadly, we aren't talking about convictions:

Catherine Spong, aged 30, of New Road, Penzance, admitted being in possession of a bladed article last month.

On Friday last week at Truro Crown Court she was handed a six-month prison sentence suspended for two years and ordered to attend thinking skills workshops.

Bit lenient? Well, guess it was a first offence, maybe?

The court heard that Spong had 13 other convictions in relation to 51 offences (Ed: Hmmm, seems to be a lucky number) including dishonesty, criminal damage, possession of a bladed article in a public place and wounding with intent.

*sigh*

Sentencing her, Mr Justice Burnett said: "There's an unhappy history of previous offending and this is potentially a very dangerous knife.

"I hope that the efforts of the probation service, coupled with your own efforts into this type of offending, mean we'll not see you here again."

Why, yes! We can see the bang-up job the probation service's been doing so far...

Eddie Shoestring Never Had To Put Up With This!

Sam Wilkins, a Whyteleafe village councillor, sent dozens of obscene messages on Twitter and Facebook to the then presenter of Absolute Radio's 11 O'Clock Show Iain Lee, Mr Lee's wife, and the show's producer Eloise Carr.

Wilkins, a former Ofcom employee, also bombarded Mr Lee and Ms Carr with abusive telephone calls before he was barred from the show in December of last year.

Blimey! Who knew local radio had anyone capable of provoking the loons as well as national radio’s Jeremy Vine?

He was found guilty at Westminster Magistrates' Court last Friday of two charges of harassment without violence, and released on bail until December 2 for pre-sentence reports.

Otherwise known as ‘Where the court desperately tries to come up with a reason to let the criminal off’…

The defence tried a novel attack – claim her client was the victim!

Defence barrister, Joanna Hardy, suggested Mr Lee "goaded" Wilkins – who she described as "vulnerable" – and encouraged him to call the show.

Eh..?

Ms Hardy described the show as "vulgar" and said that listeners regularly posted abusive comments.

I doubt whether they often ordered condoms, pizzas, sweets and booze to be delivered to the station, though, did they?

Or suggested that someone should throw acid in the presenters face?

Wilkins' position as a councillor will be reviewed by Whyteleafe Village Council after he is sentenced.

There’s something to review..?

Surely it’s up to his voters. Unless they are fully aware of his extra-curricular activities, and support them?

In which case, well, that’s local democracy for you!

Update: The link no longer works, as it appears the story's been pulled, but thanks to WoaR, there's another report of the shenanigans here.

Spot The Connection!

Giant plant blooms:

The plant, also called titan arum, but popularly known as the corpse flower, blooms only a few times in its 40-year life span, and the bloom lasts for two and a half days at the most. During the first eight hours, the bloom emits a scent that has been variously described as similar to that of rotting eggs, a dead elephant, an outhouse in sweltering heat—and worse.

Traffic warden caught short:

An NSL spokesman said: 'He's not actually peeing, he had a bottle of water and he's sprayed it on the wall as he walked along'.

Porsche driver feels life's a drag:

The 33-year-old Worthing man’s solicitor said his client was driving down a country road on his way home from London.

He added: “The dog had got loose that afternoon while it was being taken for a walk and was in the middle of the road.

“It was wearing a leash which extended several metres in length.

“While he was driving past the leash became entangled in the exhaust system of the vehicle, dragging the dog behind him.

“The driver was completely unaware of what had happened.

"He stopped to check his car several times because he heard a sound and thought there might be something wrong with his brakes.

"However he did not see the animal behind him.

“He went to the car park near Devil’s Dyke because he wanted to use the toilet at a nearby pub.

"He turned round in the car park and drove on.

“Eventually the driver stopped at the lay-by by Southwick Tunnel because people had been flashing and hooting at him.

“He untied the animal, but did not even realise it was a dog. He was so shocked by it he drove away.

“My client is a dog lover and is completely devastated by what has happened.”

Did you spot the connection?

Yeah, that's right. They all stink to high heaven...

The Paper Says ‘Drama’, I Say ‘Attempted Murder’…

The drama unfolded on Saturday, September 3 as Mr Hussini and a friend were locking up Sunnyhill Off Licence, in Sunnyhill Avenue, at 10.15pm.

Sarah Allen, prosecuting, told Derby Crown Court a gang of around 15 youths was hanging around outside.

She said: "One customer left the shop and threats were made to him. One of the group had a six-inch kitchen knife. He [the customer] ran off and phoned the police."

Miss Allen said Mr Hussini's friend went outside to his car to see it "covered in saliva" and confronted the gang, who then attacked him with sticks.

She said: "Mr Hussini came out to help and the pair ran back into the shop and pulled down the shutters, grabbing two sticks from the gang.

"They then decided to make a run for it back to the car and were surrounded and attacked.

"Mr Hussini was punched by two of them, who then held him back while the defendant leant forward and stabbed him in the stomach."

Yes, you heard that right – they held him while this little savage stabbed him in the stomach. Is that not attempted murder?

The boy handed himself in to police the following day and pleaded guilty in court to wounding with intent and possessing an offensive weapon.

Sentencing the youngster to a two-year detention and training order, Judge Hamilton said: "But for the fact that there was a surgeon living nearby, the man you stabbed would have died."

A two-year detention and training order. For stabbing someone in the stomach…

This country is doomed.

So, Inspector Gadget….

…is it still ‘time for taser in London’?

One witness, who did not want to be named, said the man was wearing an outfit which looked like Kiefer Sutherland's character Doc in the Young Guns movie, in which he wears a trench coat and cowboy hat.

"He was just sitting on the train singing away and didn't look like he would harm a fly, but obviously someone had seen a toy gun in his waistband and reported it." Another witness, Harold Gerber, 47, said: "He was quietly singing to himself and wearing a cowboy hat and a long trench coat. I didn't think he was doing anything wrong."

Well, indeed! I suppose it depends on what he was singing…

A spokesman for the British Transport Police said: "We were called to Norwood Junction on November 15 after a report of a man with a firearm.

"Armed officers from the Met Tasered the man because they thought he had a gun."

Oh. Right. Well, that’s OK, actually. They don’t need to know he has a gun, they only need to think they – or the public - are at risk.

And the guy is clearly Radio Rental:

The man was later detained under the Mental Health Act and remains in hospital.

However, it transpires that the ‘Evening Standard’ doesn’t tell the full story.

A Tweet by the ‘Guardian’ crime correspondent states the man was tasered multiple times. And the local paper has this:

The train was held at the platform and evacuated before the man was arrested on suspicion of assaulting police and possession of an imitation firearm.

Mr Gerber said: “I saw them coming from another carriage. The guy had his gun pointed right at me and was shouting to put my hands on my head. I was terrified. I haven’t been able to sleep since. They could have come on in plain clothes and scoped it out. If he had been carrying a real gun it could have been carnage on a full train like that.”

I’d have thought if you had reports of a potentially mentally deranged suspect, a quieter approach would have been better for all concerned.

This is, after all, before the incident in Kingsbury...

Left shaken by the incident Mr Gerber, who was travelling to Charing Cross to attend a job interview, visited South Norwood Police station to complain later that day but was told to leave his number and be contacted.

He said; “I think it is terrible. I just want a form to put down my complaint but they have fobbed me off every time.”

What a shocker…

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said: “Armed officers responded to a call from a member of rail staff at Norwood Junction station to reports of a man on the platform waving what appeared to be a pistol around and shouting.

When police arrived the man had boarded a train which had been held at the station.
Officers boarded the train and made their way through the carriages to the male suspect who had his hands in his pockets.

The suspect moved forward towards the officers whilst shouting and refused to remove his hands from his pockets.

Attempts by the officers to physically restrain him failed so they deployed Taser.

The man was Tasered a number of times but this seemed to have no effect.

Well, well, well…

It seems that taser isn’t the ‘magic bullet’ that some people clearly think it is, or are willing to use a horrific situation to see rolled out to all officers.

So, what now?

They Don’t Like It Up ‘Em, Do They?

Ian Oxford, who lives in Entry Hill, is a long-standing opponent of a new bus lane at Wellsway and had been trying to find out whether it was going to be in place 24 hours a day or just 7am to 7pm, as previously promised.

He had sent a number of emails to local councillors and officers about the issue, pointing out that his local Liberal Democrat representatives had campaigned during last year's election against the bus lane, but that now the party was in power at the Guildhall, it was carrying on with the work.

Perfectly reasonable, you’d think?

Well….

When his correspondence was forwarded on to Councillor Roger Symonds, Bath and North East Somerset Council's cabinet member for transport, Mr Oxford was shocked to get an email which he regarded as personal abuse rather than an answer to his question.

Ahhh, councillors and technology! It rarely ends well, does it?

In an email to Mr Oxford, Mr Symonds wrote: "I have to say that your comments are very unhelpful. This is the first that I have heard of this issue and I have asked officers for clarification.

"This is part of my job, but I do not have to read or listen to childish political points-scoring such as your comment 'is this another broken Liberal Democrat promise?'."

Oooooh, touchy! And guaranteed to be taken straight to the local newspaper...

Mr Symonds defended his position and said he accepted that there were parts of the scheme the Lib Dems were not happy with, but that they had to compromise.

Just as your leader has had to compromise, I guess?

He said: "It wasn't possible to completely get rid of the transport system but it was possible to make changes. That is what we have done here; we have compromised by finding more parking spaces in that area. It had gone too far for us to completely stop it."

So, why even try? I mean, it's not like anyone ever elected you to...

Oh. Right.

Mr Symonds said he took objection to Mr Oxford's claim that this was "another broken Lib Dem promise", because this was just one issue where they had failed to keep to an election pledge.

Ahhh, yes, but you see, Roger, it's not all about you. When the letter mentioned broken election promises, I suspect it was meant in the wider sense of the whole sad sorry mess that is the Lib Dems on a national scale.

But well done for upholding the image of the Lib Dems as being prickly, pompous people out of their depth even in the shallow end of politics...

H/T: APILN

It’s Easy To Be Blasé When It’s Other People’s Property…

Whyteleafe Village Council chairman Celia Rudland said people should not jump to conclusions, adding: "Perhaps these are young people who are just finding a roof over their heads."

And in the meantime, are preventing the developer from building a few more roofs for people.

But hey, if that’s your attitude, I guess everyone’s welcome to your spare room, Celia?

The Disabled - Still A Low Hand In Victimhood Poker

"At 6.30pm, his friend rang Swift Taxis and at 6.40pm a green VW People Carrier driven by the defendant arrived," she said.

The blind man was allowed into the vehicle while his dog, Farley, was put in by the friend.

"The defendant pushed the dog out of the vehicle, saying that he had no dog guard and so couldn't carry it," Mrs Gutteridge said. "The passenger and his friend told him he was breaking the law."

Of course, then the story changed:

Mrs Gutteridge said (redacted) said he could not allow dogs into the cab because he was allergic to them, but then because he had no guard.

And then it changed again:

When interviewed on March 22, (redacted) admitted he was the owner of the vehicle and said his children had eczema and asthma.

Of course, readers who have seen this before - or who've followed this link - can take a guess as to the real reason.

Because of Fasny's original not guilty plea, the case had been set for a trial and cost the council £1,328.40.

Will it (we) see that money back? Why, no. Of course not:

District Judge John Temperley said because of his guilty plea Fasny had proven he did not have any intention of discriminating against any passenger because of disability.

Fasny was ordered to pay £300 costs.

*sigh*

And thanks to the actions of idiot judges like Temperley, Muslims will continue to flout the law of the land because, hey, why not? What's the worst that happens?

It’s Not ‘Her Own Conscience’, Then..?

Cook later denied punching or slapping Mr Jacklin and said she knew he was not responsible for his actions and that, when he hit out, it was simply his illness. She admitted she swore but claimed she would not have used any violence because she knew that it would be reported.

Lovely! Not because it’s fundamentally wrong, not because society rightly frowns on those who abuse the helpless, but because ‘it would be reported’…

Cook, of Caistor Drive, Grimsby, denied ill-treating frail Tony Jacklin – who has severe dementia – but was found guilty after a four-day trial at Sheffield Crown Court.

A long sentence ahead? Well, don’t be too sure:

Sentence was adjourned for reports and Cook – who had a previous conviction for benefit fraud – was allowed conditional bail.

Judge Rosalind Coe QC told Cook: "I am not giving you any indication of what the sentence may be."

How about the stocks? It seems appropriate…

We’ve Found A Hand That Beats ‘Gay’* In Victimhood Poker!

A drunken thug who broke a gay man's jaw after an all-day binge has escaped jail.

Eh..? Surely not!

Smith had been drinking at the Bristol Harbour Festival before confronting the man, who was with his partner and a friend, at about 11.30pm on July 30 in Bedminster.

At Bristol Crown Court Smith, of Dowling Road, Hartcliffe, was given a 12-month sentence suspended for two years, for committing grievous bodily harm, although Judge Michael Harington said the offence "richly deserved" imprisonment.

But then, of course, decided not to give it to him.

He said: "You made some vile, revolting homophobic remarks which were quite unforgivable. The offence alone clearly crosses the custody threshold."

So, why not sentence him to jail? Well, believe it or not, the poor wee lamb is ‘vulnerable’ (in the modern meaning of the word):

Mr Nelson also added that Smith, who has a previous record of antisocial offences, had physical and psychological problems. He is not able to read or write very well, has little education, and is unable to complete manual work due to a congenital defect in his hand.

He said: "He has a deep sense of frustration when it comes to employment and a low self-esteem which is why, on occasion he drinks to excess and takes substances. He is an extremely vulnerable young man."

If he’s unable to work, where does he get the money to buy drink and drugs from?

* As well as ‘Muslim’, that is….

Left Out Some Vital Info..?

So, it seems former ‘Mastermind’ contestant David Lammy, MP for Tottenham, is publishing a book, at least according to the ‘Evening Standard’.

Sadly, they don’t tell you the most important thing about it; are the crayons included, or do you have to buy them separately?

Who Said Our Judges Were Out-Of-Touch Old Duffers?

Because you’re absolutely right:

Brutus, a Staffordshire bull terrier, faced being put down after attacking Maltese cross Yorkshire terrier, Toby, on December 28, causing serious internal injuries costing £1,800 in vet bills.

And injuring the 13 year old who fought desperately to rescue her 11 month old puppy in the process…

Ought to be a slam-dunk case, yes? Well, not so fast:

Defence barrister, Philippa Beswick, said a son of Mr Stevens had severe mental health problems and it was feared that if Brutus was ordered to be destroyed it could “push him over the edge” and he might take his own life.

Hah! As if that’s going to wo…

Oh:

Judge Anthony Goldstaub, QC, ordered Brutus must be muzzled in public and that Mr Stevens ensure garden fencing is secure.

The judge also made it a condition of a three-year community order that Mr Stevens must not be in sole charge of a dog in a public place.

/facepalm

So who’s going to walk it, then?

Mr Stevens, who admitted being in charge of a dangerously out of control dog, said: “We are so pleased with the decision. Brutus is not a dangerous dog, he is very good with people.

“Fighting against Brutus getting put down was the most important thing for me. Losing him would have broken my son’s heart.” He added: “We are animal lovers. We wouldn’t want to see any animal hurt. Brutus slipped his lead. It was an accident and we really feel for the other family.”

So, you’ve stumped up for their vet bills, yes?

Oh:

After the hearing, Alexandra Sciberras’s mother, Patricia, hit out at the sentence. She said she felt “let down” by the judge’s ruling. She said: “I am shocked. Mr Stevens hasn’t even been charged court costs, let alone our vet bills or compensation.”

I’d suggest you sue for them, but then this chav family would simply declare ‘poverty’ due to caring for their mentally disturbed son, I expect.

And I suppose I shouldn’t expect any more of a judge who suggests that conversion to Islam should prevent any further rape, or that going to the gym might be a cure for wife beating…

Some People Don’t Know When They’re Well Off…

A Kidwelly farmer has spoken of the "hell" he has endured following a crash between a train and his tractor trailer.

That ‘hell’ being getting off very lightly with a suspended sentence, and being given the bill for the damage.

The incident happened on January 31 when he was driving a tractor and trailer over the Morfa Maen crossing in Kidwelly, to access fields where horses are kept.

But he left his trailer overhanging the tracks and a train came around the corner, ploughing into the vehicle.

Luckily, no-one was injured by this idiot’s criminal carelessness. But then, hang on, he thinks he’s some kind of victim:

But Mr Watkyn-James has taken issue with the figure quoted for the damage to the train.

"There was very little damage on the train and there is no way that thing could have cost that much. The company have put in a claim way above what they said in court — a £100,000 claim. It doesn't seem to add up."

It’s a train, a very complex piece of machinery, not some rattletrap piece of farm implement. If your insurance company disputes the stated cost, fair enough, but it seems they haven’t…

The 51-year-old of Limestone Hill Farm, Crwbin described the damage as being contained to "a bit of fibreglass" on the side of the train, adding that he has been through "hell" since January.

"It's unbelievable what happened," he said. "I could never dream that something like that could happen to me. It's just one of those things — bad luck. It's hell.

"Sometimes you hear about other people and think it can never happen to you. But sometimes your luck isn't in."

And sometimes your one remaining brain cell is out to lunch too…

You'd think, from his words, that the accident was caused by an act of god, an unforeseen consequence, not his own carelessness!

Following the court case, a British Transport Police spokesman said: "The cost to repair the damaged train was £81,991, while Arriva Trains were hit with further costs of £84,862 accumulated through loss of service."

I hope they get every penny. And I hope Mr Watkin-James’ premiums go through the roof…

Who Were They Employing, Mr Bean?

A Leicester City Council driver has been sacked after crashing eight times in a year – leaving the authority with a £20,000 bill.

No, leaving the taxpayer with a £20,000 bill…

On one occasion he collided with a cyclist, leaving the council with an estimated bill of £2,000.

On another occasion he pulled out from a side road and hit a car with two occupants, shunting it into a parked vehicle.

/facepalm

Five other incidents – understood to be minor shunts with posts and gates – each caused damage of up to £1,000. An eighth accident was found not to have been his fault.

In anything other than a public sector post, he wouldn’t have been around for the last few…

Stop Badgering Caroline Spelman!

"Any option that includes farmers and landowners culling badgers with firearms has potential to place armed farm workers in the near vicinity of protesters and activists, typically during the night-time," Det Ch Supt Tudway warned.

"We regard this as a scenario with clear potential for harm to public safety. We see particular challenges where farm workers with little or no experience of trapping badgers in order to shoot them (while still caged) are attempting to do so under the gaze of activists."

Well, we could call the Yorkshire Police ARVs in to do the job, I suppose...

But I can't decide whether this is a demand for more resources to be thrown at the police, or a thinly-disguised attempt to meddle in farming policy by the back door, with the implicit threat that if the proposed cull goes ahead, the Minister is likely to have more than just badger blood on her hands.

Frankly, neither puts the police in a very good light...

Got Something To Say Now, Sandra?

Two robbers shot dead by police as they attempted to raid a security van were lawfully killed, an inquest jury found today.

Gang leader Mark Nunes, 35, was shot by a police marksman when he ran towards a G4S security guard and pointed a loaded 9mm handgun at his head outside the HSBC bank in Chandler's Ford in September 2007, the jury decided at Winchester Coroner's Court.

His accomplice Andrew Markland, 36, was shot twice by another marksman from the Metropolitan Police's CO19 firearms team when he ran across the road and picked up the gun, the jury of two men and nine women also found.

Ahhh, this is the situation that ex-LibDem MP Sandra Gidley was whinging about, wasn’t it?

Speaking just a few hours after the shooting Mrs Gidley said: "I am shocked, along with the vast majority of my constituents, by the news of such violence in sleepy Chandler's Ford. This would appear to be a police operation that went badly wrong. It seems clear the police knew about the planned robbery but questions have to be asked about whether loss of life could have been avoided. The police did a good job in detection but my questions are to seek reassurances and proof that there was no danger to the public."

Well, it’s now clear that it didn’t go ‘badly wrong’, isn’t it? They exercised the correct judgement at the time.

Quite unlike your own judgement with your expense claims…

I guess that’s why you lost to the Conservatives…

The Comments Section – Vital To Local Newspapers?

A schoolboy was left permanently disfigured after being attacked by vicious Staffordshire Bull Terriers - but nothing can be done because of a legal technicality.

Oh?

Kane Thomas, 12, was attacked at a block of flats in Eastney Street, Greenwich, leaving him with horrific injuries to his leg.

But, to his family’s shock, on the very day the dogs’ owner was due to be tried last week the case collapsed.

Outrageously, because the tower block where this attack happened had a lock on the front door, it cannot be classified as a public place, meaning no charge can be brought under the Dangerous Dogs Act.

Shock! Horror! Dangerous dog! Lazy and incompetent CPS! Innocent injured kiddiewink!

But wait, there’s more…

cjohnsonse10 says...

I am sorry News Shopper but you really need to check your facts.

I am a resident in Eastney St, I know of the boy in question and he lives here - he was not visiting.

I am not condoning a dog biting anyone at all. I have no affiliation with any of the parties involved but you at least need to understand the context.

For example, did you ask what he was doing on the landing where this happened in the first place?

If you had, you would have learnt that his 'aunt' lives on the ground floor, this happened on the other side of the building on the first floor. He had no business being there.

Did he tell you he was running up and down the landing with his friends being anti-social at the time?

And as for saying he is afraid of the playground or now going out, this is ludicrous. You only need visit the area most evenings to find him and his friends playing havoc till very late into the night.

So much so, that his group is known to both the local authority and the Safer Neighbourhoods Police Team.

This is basic fact checking News Shopper. I have come to expect better.

Thank you.

Very interesting!

It doesn’t entirely mitigate the attack, but it does cast some more light on it.

LibDems – Really Going For Broke In ‘Losing Voters’ Stakes…

Social club bosses criticised councillors who issued leaflets warning residents the club will play loud music until the early hours.

Liberal Democrats from Colchester’s Castle ward delivered the notices to homes near Belle Vue Social Club, in Colne Bank Avenue.

Were they unaware of the proposed changes, then?

Well, no, as the commenters point out, a list of these proposed changed was posted on the doors of the club…

The leaflets say if the application is allowed, music and noise from people leaving the premises would go on for longer.

Most members are in their seventies and use the venue for arts, bingo and cribbage.

Well, you can’t trust those rowdy pensioners, I suppose…

Club secretary Sandra Knight said: “It makes us look as if we are a nightclub. We are a family club and, in the current climate, have to look at opportunities.”

Don’t the LibDems know there’s a recession on?

Lib Dem copuncillor Henry Spyvee said the notices were distributed after a resident raised concerns.

Just one? I guess he’s a fervent LibDem supporter, eh?

Hope that one makes up for the 400+ potential club member voters you’ve just riled up…

He said: “We haven’t had complaints about the club in the past. Now they have a smoking area, so people go outside more, something the club cannot avoid.

“Now, on top of that, they want to extend hours and people are saying they have put up with enough.’’

Hang on, it was just one a minute ago. Now it’s ‘people’..? And as for the smoking forcing people ouyside, well, maybe you should think about challenging the smoking ban?

Comments are rather illuminating:

SoundSense says...

I am local to the Belle Vue Social Club. I have seen the leaflet on Castle Ward Liberal Democrats headed paper. The leaflet states that a full list of licence changes is posted on the doors of the club - so why didn't they read the list and get their facts right before publishing a document offering assistance by the Ward Councillors to block the application? If they'd checked they'd have seen there's no change to the hours music is permitted yet they state "The amplified music played, often coming from open windows, would go on longer". Firstly, there are no opening windows in the club (for security reasons) and secondly, the music will not go on longer!

Oh, dear. Poor LibDems… *chortle*

So, Just Why Is This Tagged As 'Crime'?

...in the website of 'This Is Dorset' as I found when I was trawling that section?



I assumed they'd misunderstood the word 'Godfather', until I clicked on the story and saw what the link address was:



That's a bit of a 'FAIL!' all round, isn't it?

Sorry, Charlie, It’s A Man’s Game In The Virtual Army!

Charlie Brooker wimps out in spectacular style:

Anyway, I'd got about a quarter of the way into it and was "doing" a level based in Sierra Leone that required a bit of stealth and sneaking around. You spend most of the game accompanied by various computer-controlled characters, and I was walking behind one of these, a crotchety moustachioed soldier who's supposed to be my friend, when he suddenly goes "shhhh" because he's heard a guard coming.

So we both stop in our tracks, and moustache man snatches the guard, pins him against the wall, and stabs him right through the throat with a hunting knife, killing him instantly. Then the body hits the floor, moustache man says "OK, come on", and we continue sneaking into the compound. Or rather, we were supposed to. But I stopped after a few steps and walked back to where he'd killed the guard. I just stared at the blood on the wall. And I thought, "I don't want to be friends with the man who did that."

Newsflash, Chuck - you're playing a game.

And, god forbid that this were real life, and the world's fate rested in your soft, lily-white hands, I think you'd man up pretty quickly, or get shot...

I don't particularly mind the level of violence in computer games, partly because it's absurd, and partly because I'm hopelessly desensitised. What I do object to is the dick-swinging machismo that infests games like this.

Good try, but you do realise you are very, very unlikely to score with these women no matter what you write, don't you?

I Think I Know Where The ‘Daily Mash’…

….got its ‘teenage skank’ picture idea:

Danielle Corns, world’s dimmest looter

‘Daily Mash’ image

Shameless Opportunism...

So, barely are the stitches put in and the blood mopped up from the street than some are calling for yesterday's awful events in Kingsbury are calling for this to be the catalyst that sees all frontline officers equipped with taser.

This is not, you should understand, shameless opportunism.

Questioning it, however, is, as is pointing out where the police have slipped up, a very unfair tactic of me, it seems; Mops (to use some of Gadget's readers most polite term for 'us', members of the public) should just shut up, accept that the face of policing has changed and get out of the way of the police as they attempt to keep us ungrateful swines safe from each other.

Which is rather peculiar logic given that incidents like this are, thankfully, rare (a phrase that seems to be in fashion with police departments on some crimes, yet doesn't soothe the officers as it is meant to soothe us).

In fact, when lunatics off their medication run amok with knives it tends to be us, the public, who are most often in the firing line.

Yey I don't see anyone calling for us to be given the means and the right to self defence, do you?

And so I find myself rather less sympathetic to the idea that all frontline cops should be armed - something that would change the face of policing in the country forever - than I am to those officers in hospital, for whom I wish a speedy recovery.

We now return you to our regular scheduled posts...

Sunday Funnies

Yup, pretty sure I've seen all of these - sometimes in the same thread!

Well, I’m So Glad Your Reviews Are Complete….

…I feel a lot safer now:

Tudor, a former patient at high-security Rampton Hospital in Notts and a convicted sex offender, had been living in the village at St Andrew's Healthcare Centre, which provides secure services and care for men with learning disabilities and autistic spectrum disorders.

Nottingham Crown Court heard he attacked the boy in woodland after asking for leave from the unit on July 20 – his seventh unescorted release.

He told staff he intended to buy binoculars and look at wildlife.

And since – so far as they knew – nothing had happened on those other occasions, why not? I mean, it’s not like they could have predi…

Oh:

The court was told yesterday how Tudor had committed a catalogue of sex offences on young boys in the past and his sentences had been a variety of care or hospital orders for more than 20 years.

*sigh*

Judge John Burgess jailed him indefinitely for public protection.

He will serve a minimum of four years and ten months, less 116 days already served, before his release will be assessed.

The judge said a psychiatrist's conclusion was Tudor had a mild mental impairment and a mental disorder.

"He remains a high risk of causing serious harm in the future by committing further offences of this nature," said the judge.

"Indeed he acknowledges as much himself. He told the author of the probation report, 'I will definitely re-offend against children if released into the community'."

/facepalm

In a statement released after the hearing, St Andrew's Healthcare said it welcomed the news that sentencing was now complete.

It read: "St Andrew's wants to reassure the community of its commitment to good practice and that an incident of this type is exceptionally rare. Internal and external reviews of the incident are complete."

Great! Who has been sacked for being so cavalier with the public’s safety?

*crickets*

Yeah. Like I figured....

Perhaps This Is Why You Have ‘Difficult And Challenging’ Young People?

Samantha Pascoe, formerly employed by Neath Port Talbot Council in Neath's Hillside Secure Unit, is accused of breaching the Code of Practice for Social Care Workers by allegedly behaving inappropriately towards a 16-year-old in her care.

No, not another in the ongoing series of ‘Nuts who fall in lust with nuts’, for a change.

The opening day of the hearing, held at Swansea's Village Hotel, saw Mrs Pascoe face three charges relating to two separate dates, when it is alleged she shouted at A in a threatening and aggressive manner, used inappropriate language and locked him in a cupboard.

Ooooh, ‘inappropriate language’!

The first incident took place on or about February 13, 2010, when A was banging on the office window as the unit's staff changed shifts. Appearing as a witness fellow unit worker Deborah Morgan said of Mrs Pascoe: "Out of the blue she jumped up, opened the door and screamed at A, 'If you do that again I will cut your F****** legs off.' I was very shocked at Sam's actions. I had never heard anyone ever talk to a young person in the unit like that before."

Perhaps that’s the reason the little s**ts think they can do as they please without consequence?

Businesswomen, Or Maiden Aunts,..?

A lap dancing club has been criticised after two girls promoting the venue gatecrashed a business awards evening.

Two dancers from the Spearmint Rhino club, in Leicester city centre, handed out flyers to bemused guests after gaining access to the event, held at Leicester City's King Power Stadium on Thursday.

It seems they were invited in by some of the attendees. But oh, my word, the fuss that caused!

Organisers of the Leicestershire Property and Construction (ProCon) Awards said it was "despicable" the girls had used the private dinner to promote the lap dancing venue.

Strangely, those organisers who were prepared to speak about this were - assuming from the names - both female:

Event organiser Allyson Jeffrey said: "They might have been standing outside and a couple of drunken guests said 'come on in', but this is just not on and I'm really annoyed. They were not invited and gatecrashed the event.

"It is one of the biggest business events in Leicestershire and has a reputation to maintain.

"People pay a lot of money to be associated with it and attend. I'm concerned that some people may have thought this had been officially organised.

"There would have been people in the room who would have been offended by it.

"We had mixed ages and religions there, as well as a number of women. It's not the image we want to convey."

Oh, good grief!

Pam Allardice, chair of Leicestershire ProCon, the organisation behind the annual awards, said: "They were not invited in by anyone at ProCon nor was their presence sanctioned.

"Even if they were invited in by two guests, it was a ticket-only event and only people holding tickets should have been allowed in.

"They had no right to do that and I think it's quite despicable that they seemed to have preyed on people whose defences were lowered while having a good time."

I don't hear any complaints from the men....

Rock Beats Knife, Paper Beats Rock, Kitchen Knife Beats Samurai Sword!

Well, I think that's how the game goes now:

A dog owner has been jailed after he armed himself with a large kitchen knife in a row with neighbours about his pet.

Matthew Brown, aged 26, waved the knife in the street and shouted racist abuse after using the weapon to drive a gang of ten residents away from his home. He was jailed as a judge at Exeter Crown Court enforced the government's crackdown on knife crime.

Labourer Brown, of Dawlish Warren, admitted having a knife without good reason at his former home in St Marychurch Road, Torquay, and was jailed for nine months by Judge Barry Cotter, QC.

The judge told him: "You went out after midnight in a busy residential area of Torquay beside a pub with a knife and shouted racist language. You were in a degree of high emotion and every weapon taken onto the streets of this country is a risk to public safety and the potential for harm was considerable.

"Given the serious danger which any knives taken onto the streets of this country poses, anyone who comes before the courts having been found brandishing a knife will almost certainly receive a custodial sentence."

Well, hurrah for Judge Cotter! Clearly, you wouldn't want to be up before him with a knife-crime related charge!

Or, would you...?

A teenager who armed himself with a Samurai sword after a gang of youths robbed him of his MP3 player has escaped an immediate jail sentence.

Bradley Mallett, 18, boasted to friends "I'm going to fetch my sword" then rejoined two friends who joined him as he walked through the Beacon Heath area of Exeter waving the sword.

His friend Connor Knight, also 18, took the weapon from him and had taken it out of its sheath and was flashing its blade when he was arrested.

Mallett, of Fouracre Close, Exeter, and Knight, of Henty Avenue, Dawlish, admitted having a bladed article in a public place and were jailed for nine months, suspended for two years by Judge Barry Cotter, QC, at Exeter Crown Court.

Errrr.....

He told them: "You took this weapon onto the streets when you were in an emotional and highly charged state and no one knows what would have happened if you had come across the people you were looking for. The sort of injuries that could have been inflicted by such a weapon are grievous. This country has a real problem with young people taking weapons with blades onto the streets and those who come before the courts for such offences will get little sympathy.

"I take into account that you were victims of crime and this was reactive offending. You should be aware that you have come perilously close to immediate custody."

Clearly, poor Matthew Brown should have had a get out of jail free card MP3 player stolen from him...

How To Ensure You Become (In)Famous...

So, it seems that some silly girls (and their idiot teacher) are waking up this morning to a new term to Google. That term being 'The Streisand Effect'.

I wonder how long it'll be before some of the #Occupy lunatics over here try to emulate their attempt to get YouTube to run interference for them?

Father-To-Be Of The DECADE!

A man pulled over to assault another motorist in a road rage attack...

Ho hum. So what? Happens every day, surely?

... despite being on the way to hospital with his pregnant partner, whose waters had broken.

I...

I just....

*speechless*

Humphreys, 20, a serial offender with 51 previous offences to his name..

Wow! Just the sort of man you want to have babies with, eh girls?

To put the seal on a terrifying evening for Mr Robson, while he was being assaulted one of Humphreys' fellow passengers stole his car and drove it away. It was later found burnt out in Hartcliffe.

/facepalm

Huuuuuuge sentence for this utter waste of DNA, perchance?

Magistrates in Bristol gave Humphreys, left, of Swanmoor Close, Brentry, 200 hours of unpaid work after he admitted a charge of assault by beating. He was also told to pay £200 in compensation and £85 in court costs.

*sigh*

*weeps*

Probation Is Supposed To Work For Us, Right?

Not for the criminal?

A man from Ammanford has been spared being thrown behind bars after an impassioned court-room plea from his probation officer.

Oh, this’ll be good!

Joshua Levi Ellicott, 22, faced prison after failing to turn up for his community service, a punishment for a previous crime.

But at a hearing in Ammanford last Thursday, probation officer Keith Cuthell asked magistrates not to send the young man down.

"I have known him for more years than I care to remember," Mr Cuthell told Ammanford Magistrates' Court, where Ellicott admitted breaching his community order.

Known him in a personal capacity, or a probationary one?

If the former, then surely there’s a conflict of interest here; if the latter, then he must be a ‘frequent flyer’ undeserving of a non-custodial?

"I would not like to see him go into custody but that's your decision.

He has never shirked his responsibilities before and is always looking for work."

Always looking, but never actually finding..?

"He is a very likeable young man and now he just needs to step up to the plate — once he gets his unpaid work done that's it, finished."

Until he comes back…

So, what’s his excuse?

The court heard the defendant missed a session of unpaid work because he had been kicked out of his family home and was sleeping at various friends' houses.

His defence solicitor, David Elvey, said: "When he was down and out in this period he thought he might be better off in prison, but he realises this is not the case now."

Only one session?

Magistrates gave him an extra 30 hours unpaid work on top of the 137 he had not completed.

That’s some session!

Just What Do You Have To Do To Get Sent To Jail These Days?

Because, clearly, high-profile robbery isn’t it:

A teenager who stole thousands of pounds' worth of the latest Apple devices including laptops and iPads in a smash-and-grab raid in Covent Garden has been spared jail.

*sigh*

The 16-year-old was one of 12 youths on motorbikes who smashed their way into the firm's flagship store at 1am last month.

The boy, who was supported at Highbury Corner youth court by his mother and sister (Ed: no father? How surprising...), was stopped by police shortly after the raid near an abandoned moped in St John Street in Islington with items stolen from the store in his bag.

But hey, getting caught red-handed doesn't seem to matter...

Sentencing the boy to a youth rehabilitation order with intensive supervision for 12 months and a curfew for three months, bench chairman Paul Brennells said: "This was a very serious offence. We are not going to send you into custody, but you still run the risk of that if you do not behave yourself."

But not a very big risk, eh?

Taser, Taser, Taz... Oh, Ooops!

Duncan Schwab had driven past a burning car when police suddenly smashed his van window with a baton and fired the electrical stun device at his shoulder.

The shocked 45-year-old vintner was still reeling from the blow when he was taken to a police station in Totnes, Devon.

He was breath tested but charged with failing to stop when asked and the matter ended up in court a year on.

A year. A whole year, with the experience and the threat of a court case hanging over him...

But at the start of the trial no evidence was offered and the court case was dropped.

Wha..?

Given it must have been a very serious crime to have used a Tazer, as we are always assured, what gives?

Devon and Cornwall police said officers had been investigating an incident when a car hit a house and burst into flames.

They had been on the look out for culprits and were 'in a heightened state of alert'.

Translation: 'too dumb not to shoot at anything that moves'.

Oh, yeah, let's give all these cretins Tazers, rather than restrict it to the professionals, shall we?

His solicitor Nigel Butt made a request for defence costs to be paid.

'Made a request'..?

He shouldn't have needed to! The police farce involved should have immediately suspended the officers involved, taken away their shiny toys and sold them to pay Mr Schwab's court costs.

And then put the cops on wine-stamping duty while he has a foreign holiday at the Farce's personal expense...