Friday, 26 August 2016

This Could Prove Interesting....

A Northampton taxi company is now offering a service in which it can pick up customers and their four-legged friends - despite most of its drivers voting against the idea.
It will, of course, cost. But not much.
Bounds Taxis, which is based next to North Gate bus station, says it canvassed all of its 350 drivers over the idea of allowing dogs in their cars, and that 15 per cent (52) agreed.
As a result, the firm says it will now be carrying out the 'dog friendly service' at a charge of £3 per fare, although only the drivers which agreed will be offering to do so.
Now, if everyone in Northampton asks for this service - whether they have a dog or not - I think the other 85% of the staff might just get the message...

And Yet Somehow, You Managed To Afford Cigarettes...

Nick Woodhouse, defending said Khan “was hoping he would get his benefits soon” so he could get Tyson treated by vets.
Khan himself told the court: “I was really good to the dog, I looked after that dog. I had no benefits, how could I feed that dog?”
Maybe a question you should have asked yourself before obtaining one?
Chair of the magistrates Frances Linsley said it was “one of the more serious cases of neglect” she had seen. She jailed Khan for 18 weeks, ordered him to pay £500 costs and an £80 victim surcharge and disqualified him from keeping an animal for five years.
Myeah was jailed for 12 weeks and also ordered to pay £500 costs and a £80 victim surcharge. She was also disqualified from keeping an animal for five years.
Both shouted abuse at the court as they were taken away.
I hope they get one tin of dog food per day while they're inside...

Thursday, 25 August 2016

I Think Kidderminster Can Do Without This Sort Of Public Service...

Mr Western said Robinson had pleaded guilty immediately the case came to trial. He appreciated the loss to the Westcott family but had been trying to build up his business in providing a public service for Kidderminster.
Customers spoke of his kindness to them.
Should they ever fall into the path of his taxi, they might not find him so public spirited.
Robinson, who was driving at a legal 40mph, stopped momentarily but then drove on. He went to a garage to see if his vehicle was damaged and had it washed.
"He could well have stopped to have seen what had happened," said Miss Rai.
His excuse for not seeing anything on the road was that he could have been turning off his meter.
Six seconds is a long time to be distracted enough to not see a body in the road..!
Simon Robinson, aged 43, of Steatite Way, Stourport, was also disqualified for 12 months, ordered to do 250 unpaid hours work and pay £530 costs.
After reading a sheaf of references, Judge Robert Juckes QC imposed eight months jail but suspended it for 12 months.

He Can't Be That Hard To Find...

A pet has been mauled to death and a pensioner left with a broken leg after a savage dog attack in a Derbyshire field.
Another of those 'very rare cases'...
Mr Reedman didn't realise his leg was broken at first. He said: "It was painful to walk on, but I managed to carry Millie to the car, and drive her to the vets, but when I got there it was so swollen that I had to be helped out of the car and into the vets.
"My daughter had to pick us up and take us to A&E. I don't know how I managed to walk on it like that - it must have been the adrenaline. I had to help, Anne was a state - she was traumatised and absolutely distraught - her little dog that she loved had been destroyed. She was very distressed."
Didn't the other owner assist? Well, of course not. They never do, do they?
"It happened so quickly - it was all over in less than a minute. The owner never said a word to us, he dragged his dog off Millie and walked off. A moment later, a fisherman came along the footpath saying he'd heard the noise, and decided to go after the owner for us. He was so friendly and helpful, but by the time he caught up with the owner he was getting into his car and rushing off."
I hope at least he got the registration number.
A Derbyshire Police spokesman said that no arrests had been made as yet. He said that officers had some possible leads but were still investigating. A number of people had come forward with information but witnesses were still being sought.
One to watch.

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Do They Really..?

...because me, I'd prefer to blame the idiots that drive them. But it seems I'm fighting a losing battle:


I Think You've Misunderstood Your Own Title...

The council's regeneration boss Cllr Phil Riley said: "The housing market is a commercial market and developers pick the sites that they want. It would be completely invalid for us to turn this application down because there are a number of brownfield sites in the area."
'Regeneration' is meant to be just that. Regenerating previously-disused areas, not parts of the green belt!
Cllr Slater said: "There are plenty of brownfield sites in Darwen that need filling. "There is no need to build here in this environment. There is deer there. I know that because I grew up there.
"The idea that the roundabout at the bottom will be able to take the increased amount of traffic is ludicrous.
"People will never get out of that junction. There are also other environmental concerns about flooding and the pits.
"It would cause all sorts of problems. We want to attract business people to this borough and attract executive housing but we are damaging the area as we do it."
Precisely. It makes no sense to have to put all the infrastructure in place, when you already have underlying infrastructure in those brownfield site.

Anyone who has ever played a city-building sim will tell you that.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Why, Yes, Of Course The Internet Will Stop...

...if you just explain to them how the mockery is hurting your feelings:
"We are not amused by the memes, petitions and signs about Harambe," Thane Maynard, Cincinnati Zoo director, told the Associated Press.
"Our zoo family is still healing, and the constant mention of Harambe makes moving forward more difficult for us. We are honoring Harambe by redoubling our gorilla conservation efforts and encouraging others to join us."
Yeah, they definitely have a course where they practice this passive aggressive whining, and they clearly send their zoo staff on it.
Other voices on the internet have said that the jokes have now gone too far and should be brought to an end. WCPO-TV web editor James Leggate recently started his own petition, for instance, which asks that petitions about Harambe are stopped.
"At first, the petitioners had good intentions," he wrote. "But then the goofuses of the Internet hopped on the Harambe train for their jollies, and it has gotten out of control."
Hey, I'm sure they'll listen to you, James...

Perfectly Understandable...

A 49-year-old man has been spared jail after carrying two cut-throat razors, a knuckle duster and a metal-headed walking stick in public.
Good grief! Where?
Dagenham resident Leonard Lowe...
Ah. Well, it is the 'nam....

Monday, 22 August 2016

'Mother Of The Year' Title Is A Shoo-in....

A distraught mother has spoken of her horror after her five-year-old son managed to escape and was found at the side of a busy Bolton road.
Every parent's nightmare!
The mother-of-three explained that her son, who was dressed in his pyjamas when she last saw him had said that he was going to bed around 4pm.
She said: "I was trying to settle my baby who is three months old and he said he was tired and so wanted to go to bed.
"He had put his television on in his room and put his teddies in his bed to make it look like he was in there so I had absolutely no idea that he wasn't there when I walked past."
Eh..? That sounds more like the sort of routine you'd expect in a prison wing, doesn't it?
As officers searched the Hall i' th’ Wood estate to try to reunite the pair, the mother was unaware of what was unfolding outside.
She explained: "I noticed that I had about 30 missed calls on my phone and it was my friend checking that my son was in the house because there were a lot of police on the estate and he has tried to escape before."
The story was reported by The Bolton News on Sunday and the mother was left distraught by comments from other readers.
Hmmm, I'll just bet! The truth hurts.
She said: "It's really hard bringing up three children on your own and I know that's not an excuse."
Correct. It isn't. So why bring it up?
"Bad things do happen but you never think that they will happen to you. I have been so upset reading what people have been saying about me being a bad mother. I was up all night crying."
The mother said that she will be changing the hiding place for her keys to make it harder for the little boy to escape in future.
I suppose keeping more of an eye on him in the future isn't going to be an option?
She added: "He might be five but he's got developmental and behavioural problems and he needs help.
"I'm hoping now that he can gets the help that he needs."
Has he got these? Or has he just got a useless, incompetent parent?
A spokesman for the police said that their family and social services department were looking in to the circumstances as to how the incident happened.
I think we all know how, don't we?

I Pretty Much Guarantee It...

Seth Collins, mitigating, told the same court on Friday: “He is ashamed and remorseful for stooping so low.”
He said Chambers failed to attend court once because his mother had died.
*rolls eyes*

An excuse so daft only a magistrate could believe it. And so they did!
Alwyn Hollins, chairman of the bench, spared Chambers jail but told him he was in the “last chance saloon”.
Not, I suspect, for the first time!
For all the offences, he ordered Chambers to complete five months of community service, in which he was required to abide by an electronically-monitored curfew. He must also pay £85 court costs, a £85 victim surcharge and £15 to each of the charities.
Tearful Chambers replied: “Thank you so much. You will never see me again.
Oh yes we will....