Thursday, 14 December 2017

On The Third Day Of Christmas, #TrumpWin Gave To Me…

...primal screaming:



...and MSM hopelessness and despair and the best TV advert parody EVER!

"Please Mister Postman, look and see, is there a letter, a letter for me...?"

A 44-year-old woman is wanted by police after allegedly stealing a lot of alcohol from Morrisons in Swindon and pulling out a weapon which she threatened to use on a member of staff.
Almost certainly a known alcoholic & persistent shoplifter, the brave boys in blue will have her in clink in no time. Right?
Wiltshire Police wrote to Melanie at her last known address to give her the option to hand herself in before they put her photo out on social media but have not heard back.
*speechless*

Luckily, the comment section went to town for me:


If you see Melanie, do not approach her but call police on 999 with her exact location, direction of travel and description of clothing and any items she is carrying, referencing the Wanted This Winter campaign.
Anything else you'd like? Her inside leg measurement, perhaps? Her holiday plans?

H/T: wiggia via email

Money For Old Rope Nags!

One of my readers noticed this listed on the official Government contracts site.
The Recovery of Stray, Loose and Abandoned Horses (from the highway) Kent Police and Essex Police
The Police and Crime Commissioner for Kent Contract award notice - two contracts have been awarded following a 2-Lot procurement exercise.
Lot 1 - Kent Lot 2 - Essex
Location East of England, South East
Value £1350000
Date notice published 28/11/17
Closing date 01/09/17
Notice status Awarded
Notice type Opportunity
That's a pretty nice little earner. Now, if they could only stop them from simply getting more horses once the ones removed are all in Tesco lasagne...

H/T: David Abell via email

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

On The Second Day Of Christmas, #TrumpWin Gave To Me…

...MSM hopelessness and despair:
A year of this stuff, and never has mainstream opinion journalism seemed so inconsequential, so powerless to envision anything useful about our national predicament. Look at the grand sweep of history: this is an angry, populist age, and with every year – with every little tightening of the inequality index – it grows angrier and more populist still. To the satisfied and comfortable American pundit class, these are alien and deplorable sentiments, and so they fall back on high-decibel moral aghastitude. They scold and they scold and they scold. But if they really want to send Trump and the Republicans packing, they will make an effort to understand.
...and the best TV advert parody EVER!

If You Build It, They Will Come....

...and dump their general waste in it:
Recycling sites across Bexley have been "forced" to close after they were exposed to severe contamination. Bexley Council has said non-recyclable waste has been dumped in recycling bins, which are emptied by hand, costing an extra £10,000 a year to regularly empty.
A spokeswoman for the council said: "The borough’s waste and recycling team were finding large amounts of fly-tipping thoughtlessly dumped at these sites, as well as consistently finding the banks full of non-recyclable waste such as raw meat and household waste, rather than plastics and cartons."
Why wouldn't they? There are no consequences to doing so, after all.

Just as there are no consequences whatsoever for the people who dump carrier bags full of household waste outside the street bin next to my local paper shop. The street sweeper often bags up sackfuls of the stuff, which then have to be collected by lorry.

This was something totally unheard of about 15 years ago. So what changed in my area over this period of time?

Can anyone guess?
Cabinet member for community safety, environment and leisure, Councillor Peter Craske said: “We pride ourselves on being the top London borough for recycling waste and we urge all our residents to recycle their waste responsibly.
"Unfortunately, because of the minority spoiling these sites, it is no longer cost-effective to keep them running for the little recyclable plastics and cartons they produce.
We hope that residents will continue to recycle as much as they can through their normal weekly collections.”
Hmmm....
Household plastic packaging and beverage cartons can continue to be recycled through the kerbside recycling collection in the maroon box for houses, or silver bins for flats.
So what's to stop these getting similarly treated?

No Surprises Here....

West Midlands Police were alerted to a dog described as an American Pit Bull attacking a Rottweiler dog in the Woodgate area of Birmingham on Saturday 18th November.
And by 'alerted' we can guess they looked up briefly, shrugged and the radio, and carried on reading the paper....
After a while, a man described as tall, white, of medium build, aged between 20 to late 20s, wearing a baseball cap, red zip up jacket and matching sports trousers, ran towards Tasia and David, trying to get the dog off them.
The man claimed to be the owner of the dog that reached the man’s shoulders when on it’s hind legs – he also claimed he’d only had the dog for a short while from a rescue centre and it had slipped a choke chain.
Once the man managed to slip the choke chain on the dog, it is said that he had no control of the dog and it still tried to attack.
Where were the police? Nowhere.
Myfanwy explained: “I treated her for shock. She attempted to stand but went rigid and fell into a convulsion. She then had a stroke and could no longer stand or comprehend what was happening to her.”
They had to stretcher Tasia into the vets, they were told she’d had a fit, stroke and massive internal damage to her stomach area.
Nor was the dog the only victim.
Fortunately David didn’t require medical treatment, however he did sustain severely bruised arms and chest from defending both himself and Tasia.
Dangerous dog, person injured, family pet killed...and no arrests made? Welcome to that new DDA that the police said they needed to 'take action'...

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

On The First Day Of Christmas, #TrumpWin Gave To Me…

...the best TV advert parody EVER!

*Looks Up 'Mitigation' In Dictionary*

Hmmmm. Odd.
Alan Pollard, 28, from Brighton, was caught with £1,000 of class A drug crystal meth and class C drug GBL when police raided his home. The drugs are popular at gay sex parties in the city. Judge Charles Kemp said the offences were so serious Pollard could have faced four- and-half-years in jail.
So, did he? Reader, you won't be at all surprised....
In mitigation, the court heard Pollard funded his eight-year addiction to the drugs by starting to sell it.
I must have the wrong bloody dictionary.
Sentencing, Judge Kemp, slammed the porn star for dealing the dangerous drugs. He said: “You have to understand why the court regards it so seriously. You have no control whose hands they end up in, often the most vulnerable who get addicted to them like yourself.
“This is why you should have never been involved in the foul trade. Often people have their lives blighted or extinguished by these drugs.”
Judge Kemp sentenced Pollard to two years’ imprisonment, but suspended the sentence for two years to allow him to focus on drug rehabilitation.
*sighs*

A Somewhat Chilling Headline....


An East Croydon pizza shop has been given a one-out-of-five food hygiene score after inspectors found it was selling turkey as ham.
Whew! Could have been a lot worse!
The pizza shop was also criticised, among other things, for storing onions under the sink and because food handlers had no training in food safety, and also because the cold water tap on the wash hand basin didn't work.
Eeeeew!

Monday, 11 December 2017

Nice Perk If You Can Get It...

“Beale left the documents in the boot of his car for five days while he carried out errands, including a pub visit with a colleague and supermarket shopping.
The vehicle was also parked at an East Midlands railway station for several days while he went on a weekend holiday with his wife.”
The document loss is bad enough.

But no-one seems to be at all concerned that an unmarked police car is being used as a 'company car' rather than being out on the road with a proper police officer or two in it!
Mr Beale has been suspended from duty and is due to face disciplinary proceedings.
His lawyer, Duncan Atkinson QC, said it was possible Mr Beale would now lose his job.
Only 'possible'...?

H/T: Pee Wee via email