Tuesday, 20 November 2018

*Munches* Hmmm, Better Than A Linda McCartney Veggie Sausage, I Suppose...

Barbecued bugs are are going on the shelves of British supermarkets as Sainsbury’s becomes the first big UK grocer to stock edible insects.
I'm sure there's lots of little shops that stock them unwittingly!
The retailer will start selling roasted crickets – described as “crunchy in texture with a rich smoky flavour” – in 250 of its stores from Monday, capitalising on the growing prominence of bush tucker in the global warming debate.
Incredibly, it seems we aren't falling to our knees in praise of the likes of Marcel Dicke for this 'opportunity', so much as Ant & Dec...

Or...are we?
The packaging for the crunchy crickets, made by London-based Eat Grub, deploys the environmental argument in a bid to win over shoppers who might balk at bugs for lunch.
Is there no nonsense the hipsters won't believe if it just has the words 'global warming' on it? They truly will swallow anything! 

It's OK, It's Not Prejudice...!

The judge questioned whether Xavier was free to offend on bail because his victims were heterosexual men and therefore treated as less of a priority.
Addressing the police officer in the case after sentencing, he said: "It's very rare for a heterosexual male to be a victim of a sexual offence, as we know.
"I hope the fact that these victims were heterosexual males did not cause them to be put rather lower in the list of priorities."
...it's just the usual police incompetence:
Detective Constable Lucy Marsh, of Wandsworth Police, who took over the investigation after the original officer dealing with the matter lost evidence, rejected the suggestion.
She said a "waiting list" for downloading mobile phone evidence led to a delay in the investigation.
How reassuring...

Monday, 19 November 2018

Ah, The Millionaire Lifestyle!


*looks up 'Hungry Man' dinners*

Eeeew! Truly, the most horrifying thing he's ever written!

It's Probably True...

Defendant Jasmin Hardie-Clay, 19, had punished herself every day since the incident more than the court could punish her, magistrates were told.
...after all, they are as much use as a wet paper rag when it comes to dangerous dog owners.
The defendant admitted that the Ridgeback/ Staffordshire cross named Bud, was dangerously out of control at Monger Road, Wrexham, in April.
But in the circumstances she was given a three year conditional discharge.
See...?
North East Wales Magistrates’ Court at Mold was told that Bud, owned by a relative, had since been signed over to the police and had been destroyed.
It's like an axe murderer getting let off with a warning because he's didpoised on the weapon.

Saturday, 17 November 2018

It Was Also The Most Pointless Answer....

The United Nations rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights squeezed onto a school bench alongside a dozen children in one of Glasgow’s most deprived neighbourhoods and posed a question: “Who should help poor people?
“The rich people,” Soroush, one of the children, shot back. “It’s unfair to have people earning billions of pounds and have other people living on benefits.”
It was perhaps the frankest answer Philip Alston received on a two-day visit to Scotland, where a million people live in relative poverty, including one in five children.
Note that 'relative' in there. These children are not 'living in poverty' at all.

Little Soroush isn't rooting through a garbage pile for enough to eat, or sleeping on the streets, or dying of a relatively-curable illness.
The children were asked to jot down what being poor might mean for a person. John Adebola-Samuel, 12, quietly penned: “He cannot afford meals. He cannot buy trainers. He cannot watch TV.”
Remember when you could go to a Scottish school and quote children called Hamish & Morag? Are there any left?
While Alston met Sturgeon, Karen Reid, 35, a single mother of four in the deprived Pilton neighbourhood - close to affluent Stockbridge and the elite Fettes College public school - told the Guardian how she last worked nine years ago, struggled with depression and once drank so heavily she suffered permanent nerve damage to her hands and feet.
Her disability allowance has been stopped, costing her family £600 a month.
And relieving the taxpayer of having to support a workshy drunkard. Sounds like a good deal to me!
Alston is in Belfast on Saturday before finishing his tour in Essex and London. He will announce the conclusions of his investigation at a press conference on Friday.
Don't bother. I can already predict what he'll say.

Maybe Judge Purkiss Should Foster Him Instead?

A teenage boy with special needs has been "failed" by a Canvey specialist care unit, a judge has said.
'Failed' how, exactly?
The judge has aired her criticisms in a written ruling after analysing the boy's case at a private hearing at the East London Family Court in Canary Wharf, London, earlier this year.
Ah. One of those. And we criticise other countries for secretive justice systems...
Island Lodge staff had not been trained to look after a child with the teenager's disabilities, did not know how to communicate with him and had exercised "unnecessary and probably unlawful restraint", the judge said.
Translation: "He was a violent little nightmare and they didn't want to wind up with staff injuries and resignations..."
She said bosses at Island Lodge had written to the council indicating that they did not agree with some of her findings.
Heh! I'd love to read that. But we can't.
Judge Purkiss said the boy's parents had asked the council for help because they were having difficulties managing his behaviour.
Maybe Judge Purkiss should offer to let him stay with her? She clearly knows better than anyone else...
"Island Lodge was never the right place for (the boy)," said Judge Purkiss. "Staff at the unit did not know how to communicate with (him) and were hyper vigilant he would become aggressive."
They do have the welfare of their own staff to look after...
"This led them to exercise unnecessary and probably unlawful restraint."
Shouldn't you know what's lawful and what isn't? Aren't you a judge?

Friday, 16 November 2018

The Justice System Is Broken...

The cowardly joint owner of a dangerous dog that “scalped” a young child has been sent to jail after previously failing to appear for sentence.
Sound familiar? It should do.
Michael Thornton was sentenced in his absence to two years in prison on October 10. Hayley Eldridge was jailed for 21 months for the dog offence and 16 weeks consecutive for perjury.
A warrant was issued for Thornton’s arrest and he was detained 27 days later.
I expect that cost him an increase in sentence?
Imposing 28-days imprisonment for breaching his bail, consecutive to the two years, a judge told him: “You didn’t have the guts to turn up to your sentencing hearing.”
Who could have suspected th...

Oh.
Judge Griffith-Jones told Thornton: “This was deliberate behaviour on your part in an attempt to delay the inevitable day of reckoning.
“Included in your appalling previous history are numerous offences of failing to surrender or other failures to comply with court orders.”
In which case, why was he ever afforded the opportunity?