Friday, 24 June 2016

" don't have Cameron to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference."

The UK right now is beginning to resemble a penultimate 'Game of Thrones' episode. Who next? Osborne, for certain.

And there's rumours the Labour Party is about to move in on Corbyn.

One Shouldn't Gloat, One Knows....

...but screw that!

C'mon! You know they'd be doing it if the result had been different. 

*sips from crystal glass full of progressive tears*

"How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?"

Rise, like lions after slumber 
In unvanquishable number! 
Shake your chains to earth like dew 
Which in sleep had fallen on you: 
Ye are many—they are few!

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Decision Day

Well, it's finally here:

And I ask only two things of you, readers. The first being, that you vote. Never mind the cynical 'Voting changes nothing!' or 'They are all the same!', this vote does count. This vote really, really matters. This vote will affect things for years to come.

So get out there, in the rain, if necessary. Make time. Go put your 'X' where you think it'll do the most good.

The second being, that you vote the way you'd planned to vote last Wednesday morning. Ignore the people telling you to vote this way, or that way, because the murder of an MP has 'changed the debate' and 'we have to make her death mean something'.

It hasn't. We don't. And - leave or remain - I can think of nothing more dangerous than allowing the idea that voters can be swayed by murder to take hold.

This will be today's only post.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

"Build, Build, Build - But No Cat Flaps!"

Catherine Shoard needs to put a bell round her inner control-freak's neck:
As the cat population rises, so the number of rare birds and animals will fall. As more and more houses are built, less and less land is left – land such as Lodge Hill in Kent, the main breeding ground for nightingales in the UK, now earmarked for development. These birds may seek refuge in nearby scraps of scrub, but they will be rich and convenient pickings for all the moggies that move in next door.
So we have to build more houses for people, but those people can't have any pet cats? Guess this silly cow is another one for Longrider's list.
Building needs to happen. So do measures to protect endangered species. A huge new estate on heathland outside Bournemouth was initially only granted approval with the guarantee of a cat-proof fence ringing its fringe. You could go further. Conditions of sale can be imposed regarding parking spaces and types of tenancy and restrictions over commercial use. Why not cat ownership, too?
Why not licence progressives? They do far, far more damage.

There Must Be Some Other Meaning Of 'Obviously' Common To Southend...

Mr Murdoch, of Hampton Gardens, Southend, said his main instinct was keeping Tara well away from the snake due to fears she could be hurt.
He said: "I was walking my Alsatian puppy when I saw a large snake on the path in front of me. It was about 3ft to 4ft long, raised its head, opened its mouth and stuck its tongue out then slithered off into the long grass near the children's playground.
"I took some photographs and kept my puppy well away from it. There is obviously a colony of them living there in the long grass."
There is...?

Well, don't worry. It's the Jap soldiers who don't realise the war's over you've really got to watch out for...

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

You Can Lead A Council Tenant To The Fire Safety Regulations...

...but you can't make them actually read them:
Despite fire safety leaflets being sent to residents, many were not aware their flats were made fire-proof for up to 60 minutes thanks to these new front doors. As a result, those on the ninth floor tried to escape rather than remain in their flats when the fire took hold.
Miss Chitiga added that she would have done the same thing as Mrs Abrey and leave the flat and feels the council should have done more beforehand to inform people.
 What do you want them to do, come round and read them to you?
She added: “I think you have to take advantage of every opportunity to educate residents about new developments."
Perhaps a pop quiz on the fire safety procedures, followed by eviction for failure?
However Mark Flewitt, councillor for housing, planning public protection, spoke on behalf of the council contractors and said residents were written to and meetings were held about the doors.
He said he has spoken “at length” to estate managers South Essex Homes (SEH) and showed the Echo leaflets handed out to new tenants from January 2016 that includes advice to remain in flats in case of fires in communal areas.
You're wasting your breath. Some people think everything's the fault of someone else.

Slow Crime Day, Sussex Police?

Jamie has launched a fierce attack on Sussex Police for proceeding with the legal action. He said: "We are not criminals, we are six young people trying to make careers, and now because of the actions of Sussex Police we have criminal records. That is not fair, that is not justice.
"It was surely clear to everyone it was a stunt. We threw around 150 wristbands out of the two vehicles and we know for a fact that shoppers stopped and picked them up.
"It was never our intention to upset or offend anyone, it was just a prank. There were security staff all around because of the Coca Cola Truck but not one of them came towards us.
"Little did we know that people were going to dial 999."
 I think you're rather overestimating the intelligence of the general public, frankly.
Sussex Police contacted him on the day of the incident but it wasn't until March that he and his five friends received calls from officers asking them to attend the station for questioning.
Clearly, a very serious incident that needed dealing with quickly, then..?

Monday, 20 June 2016

Proof, As If It Were Needed....

...that some people just feel the need to punish themselves:
I’m a level one gal in a level 12 world, but I’m scraping by. I time my dodges carefully, angling just right to catch the boss as he lunges where I’m no longer standing. Then I jump back, down an estus flask and restore my health, staying a whisker out of reach. But this time I’ve miscalculated. I’m not quite far enough away. The game forces me to watch as my outmatched, under-levelled character meets the business end of an axe in a frustratingly long cinematic sequence. “YOU DIED,” the screen glares. Yeah, I know.
I start again, this time favouring the monster’s unarmed side. And again, attempting an ultimately futile parry/riposte combo. Each time, the screen fades out and I’m met with that message. “YOU DIED.”
Eventually, I start to see those words whenever I shut my eyes. I’m getting dangerously close to going back on the rules I’ve set for myself this playthrough: that I must use the weakest character the game has, and that I’m not allowed to level her up. Ever.
My character, who I call Soul Level One Sally, will remain the mostly pathetic creature in Lothric for the entire game, and I’ll be seeing “YOU DIED” a lot.
And...this is supposed to be fun? Relaxation? Don't you have anything else to do?
Before I give in to this temptation to renege, the oven timer dings and I’m freed to tend to a completely different, yet weirdly related task: my latest round of egg-and-dairy-free donuts.
Ah. I think I see now.
Why do we do this? It’s fun to find games within games, and the players who undertake these challenges choose to make the games they love not just more difficult but more personal by setting themselves up with extra rules. It might seem counterintuitive, but constraints add to the pleasure – and it’s this philosophy, learned from games, that led me to the ultimate culinary challenge run: veganism.
Vegans, folks. Masochists, all...

"Muslims Din't Do Nuffin'..!" Part 457823654

The latest Ofsted report, published this week, said: 'Leaders and staff have had training in preventing extremism and radicalisation, and been given the latest Government safeguarding guidance.
'However, the impact of this work has not rectified safeguarding weaknesses.
'A large number of copies of a leaflet containing highly concerning and extremist views, such as "Music, dancing and singing are acts of devil and prohibited", were discovered during the inspection.
'The leaflets were found in areas shared by the school and adjoining mosque which are used by leaders and in areas used by the pupils from the school.'
Oh dear! How are they going to get out of this one? I mean, surely the usual excuses won't cut the mustard anym...

In a statement issued after Ofsted's latest findings were published, the school - which has a music curriculum - said the leaflets had no association with the mosque or the school and had been 'dumped' by a member of the public.
The school statement added: 'These leaflets were not on the display board or anywhere near the display board.
'They were clearly dumped by a member of the public, ironically next to the sign where it is clearly signposted 'Strictly no posters or leaflets'.

Still, at least if no-one's buying that, you've always got the racist card, right?
'Furthermore in regards to the inspection in question, the conduct of the Ofsted inspectors during this inspection were unacceptable and racist.'
There you go!
As well as claiming that an Ofsted official refused to take off their shoes when visiting the mosque, the school alleges that its equality statement was dismissed as being 'just a piece of paper'.
Well, sounds pretty much like that's just what it is, doesn't it?