Getting A Bit Informal...

...or is the 'York Press' just hiring anyone off the streets to caption their report now?

Is...Is It Like The 'Spork'..?

Some unholy cross between 'shorts' and 'skirts', perhaps? Enquiring minds want to know, ASDA!

Sunday Funnies...

If technology is the answer, maybe we are asking the wrong question?

U OK Hun...?

It is believed the cyber criminals got access to the Met's 'MyNewsdesk' application, which automatically pushes messages out across email and their twitter feeds.

You'd have to have a heart of stone, wouldn't you? But wait, it seems outsourcing was the real issue!

In a statement issued some two hours after the hack, Scotland Yard said: 'The Met Police Press Bureau uses an online provider called MyNewsDesk to issue news releases and other content. When a story is published via MyNewsDesk, it appears on the Met’s website and Twitter accounts and generates an email to those who’ve subscribed to receive our news updates.

'While we are still working to establish exactly what happened, we have begun making changes to our access arrangements to MyNewsDesk.

What, you changed it from 'Pa$$word' to something else...?

'At this stage, we are confident the only security issue relates to access to our MyNewsDesk account.

'There has been no "hack" of the Met Police’s own IT infrastructure.

'We are assessing to establish what criminal offences have been committed.'

Don't you know...?

Well, It Shouldn't Have Been...

Assistant Chief Constable Geoff Wessell from West Mercia Police said: "PD Ivy's death was a shock to us all, in particular for those who were with her that day, all of whom remain deeply affected by it."

Why would it be a shock that leaving a dog unattended in a car on a hot day can result in its death? It's not like it hasn't happened before...

"We accept that PD Ivy should not have died as a result of heatstroke and we have learned this very harsh lesson in the worst possible way.

"We have therefore taken on board everything that the review has identified."

What a pity you didn't take on all the other lessons that other forces have leaned the hard way. Or maybe just listen to the advice you arrogantly dish out to the public?

Pity they just churn this stuff out, not actually read it...

Wait, What...?

An IT worker caught in a paedophile hunter sting has been spared jail after a judge heard...

Some pathetic sob story about caring for an elderly parent, I suppose.

...his partner is due to give birth to their child any day.

Ummm...?

Denys Terebenets, 27, wept in the dock as he was handed a three year community order and allowed to walk free despite admitting a raft of child sex charges.

FFS! It's not as if he's going to be needed in the child's life, is it? The mother isn't as gullible as m'learned friend:

Ben Knight, defending, told Minshull Street Crown Court ... that Terebenets and his partner are no longer living in the same property, and that 'social services are involved'.

Good for her.

Sentencing, Judge John Edwards said he had been convinced by the mitigation put forward by Terebenets defence team and agreed with a probation report which recommended his risk to society was best managed in the community.

"These organisations deploy decoys to ensnare individuals such as you," he told Terebenets.

"That fact remains indulged yourself with two people whom you believed at some stage were children in the most sickening and perverted conversations.

"I hoe (sic) you appreciate the harm that cases such as these involve - you are feeding a burgeoning market.

"You could have no complaint if I passed a deterrent sentence.

"But Mr Knight has persuaded me that the public is best served if I put you on a rehabilitation course."

The public would be best served if you put him on a plane back to wherever he came from...

Arms Race

A young mother was shot with a Taser in the street in front of shocked schoolchildren.

Bloody trigger happy police...

Wait.

The disturbance broke out in front of shocked onlookers which included schoolchildren from St Nicholas School and the nearby Hamstel Junior School.

The young woman, who lives in Southend, was allegedly chased by two attackers, who she also claims were armed with a cosh, before they then fired a Taser at her. The incident took place near to the Premier Store at the corner of Sherwood Way.

Lovely! Chavs have Taser now. Superb.

Describing the incident on Facebook, the victim said: “Thankfully it was nothing too serious but there was talk of ammonia too.

“I got off lucky, as did my friends. I was helped so the only thing I have is a burn.

“I was actually petrified - I thought I was being chased with a knife.

“I would rather have an electric shock than a stab wound.

“Fortunately, I just have a couple of marks, some broken sandals and that is all.”

Seems a bit too nonchalant about assault, doesn't she?

Police were called and an investigation was launched to trace those involved. It is claimed the victim and her alleged attackers are known to each other and there is no wider threat to the public.

Officers have since arrested two individuals on firearms offences in connection with the incident.

How curious.

"Smile, You're On Not-So-Candid Camera..."

A woman was bewildered when a waiter ordered her to take off her sun hat on a blisteringly hot day.

She was sitting in a pub garden on Saturday when she was told by staff that she must remove her hat so she could be seen by CCTV.

I'm assuming he meant only 'briefly', rather than 'for the duration of your stay'..?

Shortly afterwards the perplexed pub-goer messaged Sussex Police to see if the venue was within its rights to do so.

A Sussex Police spokesman said the force has “no policy for asking licensed premises to request that patrons remove headgear and would not involve themselves in enforcement of any such requirement in individual premises”.

But a Wetherspoon spokesman said it was necessary for pub staff to ask customers to remove all hats when visiting any of its UK venues.

They. of course, say that it's to assist the police:

Eddie Gershon, speaking for the pub chain, said: “ We apologise for the inconvenience caused to the lady.

“However, customers are asked to remove their hats in all of our pubs and outside spaces.

“The reason is that if there is an issue in our pubs and we need to hand over CCTV to the police, then they are able to clearly identify people.

“This is not able to be done if people are wearing hats.”

Or burkhas. Luckily, you won't get people wearing those in a pub. Though it might be fun to see what they'd do if someone did walk in with one...

The spokesman also added that if a customer has a specific reason for wanting to keep their hat on, either for religious or health reasons, they are not made to remove it, just asked to look at the camera momentarily.

Hmmm.

If The Case Of The Westminster Attack Shows Us Anything...

...it's that our Immigration Service isn't fit for purpose.

Khater was born in Darfur, Sudan and told immigration officials he had left the country in 2008, travelling to Libya and then to Greece, France and on to Britain where he arrived in July 2010.

He claimed he had been involved with the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) in Sudan and had been detained and tortured by the Sudanese authorities.

He was granted leave to remain on July 26, 2010, and worked as a security guard for Portcullis Security Solutions from late 2016 beginning an accountancy degree at Coventry University the following year.

OK, so far, so usual...

On August 13, the day before the attack, he drove to Peterborough to apply for a passport through the fast-track scheme but was told he was ineligible to use the scheme because it was his first application.

A passport? Where did he want to go?

Three years earlier, his father had passed away and his mother had also become ill and he wanted to go home, he said.

'Home'. Let that sink in. The place he supposedly fled from in fear of his life.

Yet this would have raised no alarm bells, no reconsideration of his claims. No renewed interest in him at all.

Why is everyone piling on the security services, and ignoring the shambles of the Immigration Service?

Never Listen To What They Say, Look At What They Do...

Councillor Childs told MailOnline: "One of my children currently attends a local independent school.

"My children like all children are entitled to their privacy ... I will not say anything more on this matter other than to say that these decisions should be made by parents and carers taking into consideration each child’s unique skills, abilities and needs.

"My own family’s decisions are made on this basis and are not up for public debate. My views on the privatisation of publicly owned state schools through the academisation of publicly owned schools remain clear and should not be confused with my family’s personal decisions."

Who is this chap, and just why should anyone care where he sends his children?

Councillor Nick Childs is deputy leader of Brighton and Hove City Council, and chairs the Children Young People and Schools committee in charge of education in the city.

He was elected in May as part of a slate of candidates approved by the city's active Momentum campaign group. He regularly shares tweets from Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour Party, and far-left pressure groups.

And he is leading the fight against plans to turn struggling Moulsecoomb primary school, rated inadequate by Ofsted, into an academy. This would pave the way for the school to accept private finance, and take it out of local authority control.

On Twitter he has slammed what he calls a "fetish for privatisation" at the Department for Education, called schools watchdog Ofsted "an enforcement agent of neoliberalism" and spoken of his "socialist vision" for education in the city. Just last week he tweeted: "Privatisation fetish won't provide our children with good education. Our city will."

Ah. Now it's all clear. Just another hypocrite.