Unfortunate Juxtaposition Of Stories...

Please, please don't take that idea any further.

And if you do, don't let the likes of Gregg Warrillow get their hands on one...

The Inland Revenue’s ‘Hector’ Was Tame In Comparison…

… the yuru kyara, or loose characters – a nationwide fraternity of about 1,000 different mascots who provide a touch of whimsy to the serious business of collecting taxes and saving the environment, to promoting tourist spots and regional cuisine.

Prince Pickles is animated face of Japan's self-defence forces, while Pipo-kun represents the Tokyo metropolitan police. Eeta-kun, whose head resembles a computer screen, encourages people to file their tax returns online.

Well, he’s better than 'Hector' or even Moira Stewart, I suppose!

Spare a thought for Pluto-kun, or Little Mr Pluto, who appeared in the mid-1990s to soften the image of plutonium on behalf of Japan's nuclear industry.

Errr....

Spare a thought for Sento-kun, who made his debut in 2008 as the "personification of the energy" of the ancient capital of Nara as it prepared to celebrate its 1,300th anniversary. But his shaved head, topped with a pair of antlers – apropos of the city's Buddhist tradition and large deer population – lent him an appearance that was widely denounced as the stuff of childhood nightmares.

For all his clever cultural references, Sento-kun was guilty of the most serious crime in the Japanese mascot world: he simply wasn't cute.

Well, I don’t know about that. He’s rather like a chubby, oriental Herne The Hunter!

But then, as Pavlov’s Cat will tell you, mascots in Japan can be rather...odd! The kids got lucky with just antlers...

You Can Always Rely On The Great British Local Newspaper Commenter...

A woman had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance after suffering injuries caused by getting her arm stuck in a letterbox.

The incident took place at 3pm today. Fire crews attended and the 21-year-old was freed half-an-hour later. The incident took place in Old Shoreham Road, Southwick.

Were you the woman involved? How did you do it?

Unleash the commenters!

Bravo!

Sunday Funnies...

Once again, Mother Nature says 'Don't have nightmares'...

Oooh, About Time!

I've been thinking about upgrading my armory, and they've finally included the 8x57 Anchütz for purchase:

              

It looks like a good buy. I can't wait to try it...

Oh, hang on. Excuse me a minute. I think that was a knock at the door.

Helen Huntley, headteacher of Haybrook College, which Millside is linked to, said: 'We apologise if the boy’s mother is upset.'

'If'..? 'If'?!?

'But we have a duty of care and, although there was no weapon, if we hadn't taken action and there had been, the consequences could have been devastating.'

I very much doubt it, for you. It never seems to happen to public sector workers, no matter how badly they screw up, does it?

So just so we're clear, real, genuine Muslims actually preying on young white girls = 'nothing to see hear, can't jump to conclusions'. Little Johnny discussing his XBox games = ''ellom, 'ello, 'ello, what do we 'ave 'ere then?'

Is that about how it goes now?

What Upsets 'The Daily Mail'...

...about Surrey Police:

Despite criticism that the police force, which is having to cut its budget by £30m by 2016, could spend its time better by catching criminals rather than writing jokes about them, Surrey Police's Tandridge Beat has nearly 1,500 'likes' on its webpage.

The police have won a huge following thanks to their casual style and light-hearted posts about their force and its work in Surrey just south of the M25 near Godstone.

Meanwhile, earlier in the week, the official Surrey Police feed sent this out:

                        

Yet this sinister invitation to spy on your fellow citizens based on nothing more than envy passed without comment by any national newspaper.

Is is me, or...?

And Once Again, Sympathy Goes To....

...other women:

Sentencing her, Judge Ian Pringles told Miss Debanks 'Those who suffer genuine rape are undermined by people like you. You undermine the whole system of justice.'

To hell with the poor sod falsely accused and forced to undergo intimate sample collection, eh, judge?

He added: 'I would be failing in my duty today if I was not to pass an immediate prison sentence.'

 Not something that your learned colleagues care too much about...

Lucy Ffrench, defending, said Debanks had suffered a difficult time, including the loss of her father to cancer and of her uncle in a freak accident, as well as other personal issues.

'She has been looking in the wrong places for the attention she craves,' said Ms Ffrench.

You mean, with her boozing, crack-cocaine smoking friends?

Thank You, Minority Interest Pressure Groups, For This!

Welsh councils should delay implementing new local development plans until new government guidelines on their Welsh language impact are published, Cymdeithas yr Iaith Gymraeg has insisted.

Oh, for...!

Toni Schiavone, the language group's sustainable communities spokesman, says Cymdeithas members will seek meetings with council leaders, chief executives and planning officers to call for the postponement.

Well, will you be speaking English to do that? Because otherwise, no-one'll understand you!

They also want local reports on the state of the Welsh language locally and to set targets to increase the number of Welsh speakers in each community.

If your minority language needs government help to survive, it's time to face facts. It's dying.

Mr Schiavone said: "All this delay in publishing these new guidelines is a mystery.

''It's causing frustration, but most importantly, it is highly damaging to the Welsh language," he added.

*shrugs*

Thank You, EU, For This!

Pet-lovers are being warned of the dangers of buying illegally imported animals which may have been smuggled into the UK.

Dogs and cats are the main risk of importing rabies into the UK and East Riding Council's animal health team is urging people to only buy pets from trusted breeders.

Fantastic! Now, as well as inbreeding, kennel-cough and distemper to worry about, you have interesting exotic (and potentially disastrous) diseases to be on the lookout for!

Councillor Jackie Cracknell, portfolio holder for community involvement and performance at East Riding Council, said: "Anyone who is considering buying a cat or dog needs to be aware of what the requirements are for imported animals before they view.

"Always ask to see any papers, certificates or passports and inspect them carefully before agreeing to buy or handing over any money, and never be tempted to buy a puppy from the back of a car or a pub car park. If a price seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Sound advice that most sensible people will heed, and didn't need in the first place. But with the craze for 'handbag-sized' dogs amongst the ladies of the underclass, how long will it be before a set of forged papers brings La Rage to these shores?

Thank You, Multiculturalism, For This!

Coun Taylor hit trouble when he was trying to book a taxi to pick up him and Henry from his mum’s office and drive them back to Mirfield.

“We rang lots of taxi companies in Huddersfield and not one would take a dog and me,” Coun Taylor said.

“None of them would bring him home so I had to come home by myself and leave the dog. He was crying and he was howling when I left him.”

Coun Kath Taylor’s colleague had to take the dog home later that day.

Which is fine, if you have relatives or friends with cars. Not so fine if you don't, or if it's an emergency, as the councillor points out.

Nor was he just unlucky.

That night, Coun Taylor rang 30 taxi companies asking if they would take his dog to the vets, and only two agreed.

I hope he's noted down those two for future reference. And I hope they grow and thrive due to the extra business thrown their way...

“What happens if you’ve not got a car and your dog has a heart attack in the middle of the night?” Coun Taylor said.

The law says that taxi drivers should allow pets unless they have a reasonable excuse, but Akooji Badat from the Kirklees Hackney Carriage and Private Hire Associations, said it was at driver’s discretion.

“I don’t have a problem taking dogs,” he said.

Now, clearly, this will be pooh-poohed as a minor matter to worry about, by the non-pet-lovers and the diversity approvists.

But I can't be the only one for whom it rings warning bells, surely?