Thursday, 18 December 2014

Depends On How You Define ‘A Happy End’, I Suppose…

After two months of living in limbo in Calais and half a day hanging inches from death, Ahmed Osman must have felt that his 3,000-mile journey from Eritrea to join his older brother Jamal on English soil had finally come to a happy end.
Well, in a way, it did, especially if you ask the poor bloody taxpayer…
At Kings Lynn County Court, police investigators said no blame could be attached to the coach driver, Mr Evans.
Checks on the vehicle at Calais by British border officials had also failed to find any sign of Ahmed hidden in the bowels of the coach.
Keeping our borders safe, there, lads!
An Eritrean friend, who declined to be named, said: “We all come here for the same purpose - to leave behind a terrible war, a terrible place for somewhere safe where we can live with peace and respect. That is all we seek and, as you can see, we will take any risk to achieve it.”
But you were presumably safe the minute you left. Why travel through all those European countries to get to the UK?

One might think it wasn’t ‘peace and respect’ you were really looking for at all, but rather something else…

Dear, Dear Yasmin Again…

…what? No! Not that one! This one:
A Bournemouth woman who ‘glassed’ a stranger in a nightclub has been given a second chance after breaching the conditions of a suspended sentence order.
There’s a shocker, eh?
On Friday, the 21-year-old- who lost her job as an estate agent over the attack - admitted three breaches of the order, in that she had demonstrated “unacceptable behaviour” during unpaid work assignments on three occasions – on September 12 and twice on October 3.
But she’s a victim, poor dear! Don’t worry, the judge will ensure that you don’t have to face the consequences of your actions:
The judge said he had borne in mind details of Thomas’ past which had not been read out in court to spare her embarrassment, but that he would not allow the court to be influenced by the “public response to the original sentence” .
Perish the thought!
The details of the behaviour which incurred the breaches were not heard, but Tom Evans said in mitigation that there were “contributory factors” including “press reports” of Thomas’ original sentencing which left her “feeling like she couldn’t breathe”.
Blimey, I need an even smaller violin!
He said her mother had suffered a stroke on one of the days when a breach occurred, and that she was afraid she might have cancer. “She accepts her behaviour was unacceptable,” he said.
“As is clear from her letter, she says there was no excuse for her behaviour.”
But you’ve just given a couple anyway! What, is it a purely reflex action for defence briefs now?

Are You Trying Very Hard..?

Last night, police were still trying to trace the owners of the two dogs – both of whom locals say are often seen hanging around in the area.
And no doubt would be well-known to local police? If the ‘neighbourhood team’ designation they often have meant anything at all…
A police spokesman said: "A number of witnesses have come forward with information and their statements are being taken and a number of other enquiries are being carried out.
"Investigating officers are aware that a number of concerns have been raised in relation to other matters involving individuals in the area. These have been and are being investigated and any possible links to the recent incident will be explored."
Is it me, or does it sound like the sort of bland, reassuring (without promising any action) sort of statement that we’ve come to expect from so many crimes that the police feel it’s beneath their dignity to have to do something about..?

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

It’s Always Good To See Them Turn On Each Other…

Senior Labour councillor Nick Peel said the campaigners have lost sight of who the ‘real enemy’ is.
Labour has pledged to abolish the under-occupancy charge if they win the next general election, and in August 2013 Bolton Council passed a motion - with the backing of Conservative councillors - calling for the hated policy to be scrapped.
“Cliff marched through Bolton town centre with these people against the bedroom tax and was proud to do so”, Cllr Peel said.
“The cause has been taken over by the hard left, whose fight is always with Labour, not the Tory government.
“Not one of the protestors mentioned the Tory government, who are behind the introduction of the bedroom tax.
“But that is what we always get with the Trots – they don’t challenge the Conservatives, they just hate Labour.”
*gets biiiiiig bag of popcorn*

Perfectly Understandable…

Mohammed Afzal, defending, said in his short life Abdul had experienced a number of set backs including the death of his father who had been killed by his father’s cousin.
Oh, well, that makes it quite understandable that when you can’t get your benefits you threaten your pregnant wife in front of your two year old daughter after drinking two bottles of vodka

If You Mean 'Begging', Why Not Just Say So..?

Mr Richard Quinn, representing Botham, said his client was drawing sketches in the city, inviting passers by to give him coins at the time of the incident.
“I know he’s said he’s sorry, I just hope he will comply. I hope he will be honourable and do the right thing.”
Well, there's probably more chance of that than there is of the authorities using the new powers they've granted themselves properly, anyway...

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

She’s Not ‘A Victim’…

…she’s (partially) the cause:
Both Ms King and Mr Wright were both initially held on suspicion of manslaughter but in April were released without charge.
Addressing the hearing, Det Insp Peter Simm said he released Ms King because "I was of the opinion she was a victim herself of what happened that night".
"She was a very young mother who cared deeply for her child," he said.
Just not deeply enough not to shack up with the first unsuitable chav with a potential killer ‘pet’ she came across.

So to call her ‘a victim’ in the same sense as the baby the beast savaged to death is merely adding insult to injury.
The coroner said he had considered whether a verdict of unlawful killing could be returned by reason of gross negligence manslaughter, but that needed to be looked at with foresight rather than hindsight and required a gross breach in duty of care, which amounted in law to a criminal act.
He also needed to consider whether there was an obvious and immediate risk of serious injury to Ava-Jayne, he said.
As a result, he said, he shared the view expressed by the Crown Prosecution Service that the facts did not amount to gross negligence.
Really? You mean, despite all the previous case histories and sorry tales, bringing a baby into an environment such as this one didn’t present ‘an obvious and immediate risk of serious injury’?

I don’t know who’s dimmer, the chavmum or the authorities.

No, Your Chavshrine Is Not ‘A Memorial’…

Vandals twice trashed a memorial to a young man only a month before the second anniversary of his death in a car accident.
Oh, my goodness! In which graveyard or cemetery did this awful thing occur?
Flowers and ribbons placed in memory of Jay Aaron Ansell were found strewn across the floor by his family.
They found a plaque hanging “in loving memory” of the 20-year-old thrown in a ditch and damaged.
Ah. Never mind. Not a memorial at all, just another of those tacky litter ‘shrines’ that get put up where someone hit a tree.
The family reported the damage to the police, who are investigating.
A spokesman for Sussex Police said: “Flowers and ribbons which had been put round the tree had been scattered. The plaque had been damaged, taken off the tree and thrown into a ditch.
"Extra tributes were put out and within an hour of that happening they had been scattered around again.
“We are looking for a dark blue Ford Focus seen going in the direction of Burgess Hill.”
Anyone with information should call 101, quoting serial 672 of 9/12, email: or call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.
I’m sorry? Just what on earth is the ‘crime’ here? Disturbing some litter?

More Of This, Please, Until They Get The Message!

The first driver, Khader Ahmed Sharif Abdi admitted the charge before Bristol magistrates and was given a conditional discharge, and ordered to pay a contribution to the prosecution costs.
The second driver, Sheikh Omar Mohamed, was found guilty by Bristol magistrates and fined a total of £340.
The penalty for a second offence should be removal of their licence. For 20 years.

Monday, 15 December 2014

I For One Welcome Our New Flying Overlords!

...the police, not so much:
Chief Inspector Nick Aldworth of the Metropolitan Police told the EU Internal Market, Infrastructure and Employment sub-committee that drones, known as Remotely Piloted Aircraft Systems (or RPAS) in Blighty’s official parlance, had been used maliciously in the country, but the cops only really found out about it from the internet.
 I wish I was surprised at that, I really, really do!
“Certainly we are looking at the emergence of this technology, that we believe undoubtedly creates opportunities for negligent, reckless or malicious use,” he said.
“We’ve seen some behaviour and examples across the world that we would seek to enforce against, and some of that has occurred in the UK," he added.
 And just how are you going to 'enforce against it'?
...although laws exist that can cover drone offences, it’s not easy to catch the perpetrators.
Answorth said even if you happened to notice a drone outside your window and called the police, unless they showed up immediately, it would be pretty tough for them to figure out who the pilot was.
Well, so much for that!

H/T: Ivan Turner via email