Well, You've Actually Done It, Chuka!

A cross-party Parliamentary panel on social integration (APPG)...is chaired by Change UK MP Chuka Umunna.

Gosh! What amazing ideas is it - formed to 'bring together people from different generations' - going to come up with, with this intellectual powerhouse at the helm?

Supermarkets are being urged to introduce a new 1p charge to use self-service machines...

The panel... claims £30million could be raised by the scheme to help fund community projects.

The report is called 'Heal the Generational Divide', apparently. Hmm...

The report suggests divisions exist between older and younger people, particularly around Brexit, with research claiming that both the younger and older generations would be happy for the other to suffer if it meant getting their own way.

It also proposed schemes including a 'Take Your Headphones Off Day', tax breaks for care home volunteers and a national post-retirement volunteering scheme to bring together more people of different ages.

It is unclear whether or not Change UK will adopt the proposals as official policy...

Hmm, well. Let''s see what people think.

The corner shop worker, who lives in Dartford, Kent, said: 'On the face of it then it doesn't sound a bad idea. Nobody is going to say they don't want to help the elderly –it's a win-win.

'But I don't think it will go down well with the younger generations. And the idea that could bring people together to help solve Brexit is just ludicrous.

'I don't think that could be done by anybody if I'm honest. I'm not sure charging people for doing something that has become such an ordinary part of everyday life will work.'

Mick Potter, 72, said it was a 'crazy idea' to think it could help bring people together over Brexit.

The pensioner, of Eltham, said: 'The young ones won't like it at all. If you see young people in this day and age they wouldn't give up a seat for an elderly person or help us out – so I don't think they'd support this.

'The idea it could help Brexit as well and bring people together is a farce. We have become the laughing stock of the world.

'I'm not sure I want to vote at the European elections because of what a joke it all is. The idea that charging people to use a self-service checkout is funding projects which in turn brings young and old together over Brexit is madness.

'Nobody can do that. I think the divide is too wide. We had the vote and that's it. People say well it's the younger people that will be the next generation but the vote was carried out three years ago.

'Some people find those machines confusing enough without people having to pay to use them. How would that work? '

People are taxed enough. 'What if the supermarkets wanted to take a cut?'

Luke Pollard, 25, of Gravesend, Kent, was also using the Eltham Sainsbury's and was not impressed with the idea. The student said: 'Isn't that why people pay the government taxes?

'I don't see how that's right. I know it's only 1p but it's more the principle behind it and the logic. Why should Parliament be getting people to pay more all the time?'

Full-time mother Cheryl Toon, 35, said she did not see how the proposals would work. Cheryl, of Dartford, Kent, said: 'I know it's not a lot of money but I don't think it's a good idea. 'It seems like a supermarket tax. I can't imagine the supermarket companies are happy about it.

'Isn't there more important things to be thinking about? Why isn't more focus being put it on actually sorting out Brexit? Rather than charging people because it's not been sorted.

'It's going to be normal members of the public paying for this and it's not normal members of the public who have made a complete mess out of Brexit – it's the politicians.'

Well done, Chuka! You've actually brought the generations together after all!

They are united. In thinking you're a useless waste of oxygen, just like all the rest of the shower of shits in Parliament...

The Eight Inch Serrated Divorce...

She told police following her arrest that her husband was controlling and had subjected her to years of physical and verbal aggression.

Yeah, that's the sort of thing you probably should say when the police burst in to find you standing over your dead husband who has a kitchen knife buried in his chest.

It doesn't usually work, but the #pussypass is in full effect. Despite her history.

Atay had previously been caught drink-driving and had been arrested for biting a nightclub doorman.

Poor, delicate little flower.

It's Different When It's Them, I See....

Judge Niclas Parry said: "If a dog can have previous, it's got it (Ed: so has the owner!)," as he raised concerns over the public cost to keep such animals in kennels during proceedings.

Kendrick shook his head in the dock as the judge told him to prepare for a custodial sentence and for his dog to be destroyed.

Wow! More like this judge, please! At least someone's interested in keeping ordinary people safe fr...

Oh. Hang on.

The 36-year-old of Greenfield Road, appeared in court last November after the dog bit a welder repeatedly on the arm at the Grant Works site at Greenfield Road in Holywell where Kendrick worked.

At the time, the court was told there had been a number of other incidents of the dog biting delivery drivers.

And little was done, clearly. Until this:

In September, when police went to the site in the early hours of the morning, an officer was chased by it and bitten on the behind.

Can't have your weapon dog mauling the boys in blue! Delivery drivers and ordinary members of the public, that can be laughed off, clearly...

I'll Save You The Trouble - He Can't.

Ashley Sullivan, 25, of no fixed abode, has been given “one last chance” to prove he can function in society as his sentence for a burglary was deferred.

The prognosis isn't good...

The court heard that concerns have been raised he may fall in to a “cycle of going in and out of prison” if he faced a custodial sentence.

And I guess the geniuses in the criminal justice 'service' figure they can prevent that by him not actually going in!

Sullivan, who has a history of crime and mental health issues, was handed a two-year conditional discharge in August last year after sparking a supermarket evacuation and stand off with police.

He admitted criminal damage and threatening and abusive behaviour following the frenzy at Asda, Eastgate Shopping Centre, Basildon.

But he was involved in a burglary at a home in Basildon just a month later on September 11.

Why not? He's been shown there are no consequences. And he's about to be shown that again.

Sullivan appeared at Basildon Crown Court yesterday for sentencing, although Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: *groans*) deferred sentencing until September 27, but warned if any offences are committed he will be jailed.

Maybe. If she feels like it. She usually doesn't.

Sullivan has been held on remand, and the court heard that a doctor recommended against a prison sentence due to the “tough time” he had faced behind bars.

But a psychotherapist refused to see Sullivan and make a recommendation until he had proven he could “work with the community”.

At least someone in this sorry tale has realised the futility of continuing the charade...

John Caudle, defending, stated this was impossible while he was on remand, asking the judge to defer sentence leaving Sullivan “effectively at large”.

The court heard that Sullivan is committed to rehabilitation, and has highlighted a number of training courses and job opportunities to look into.

Not to actually do, you understand...

Mr Caudle added: “It will be a brave decision if your honour takes this course of action.

“But society will have benefited no end. It is a risk but he could be in a downward spiral.”

Society would 'benefit no end' if this utter waste of oxygen was taken round the back of the courtyard and a bullet put in its head.

And the same for Ashley.

Hmmm, Who's Reassured? Anyone? Beuller?

Jones was jailed for life, with a minimum term of six years.

Judge Cummings said: "You are now subject to two life sentences. You will serve a minimum of six years before you are eligible for parole. The authorities will then decide if you are eligible for release."

Wait, two life sentences...?

Jones used an illicit mobile to make the calls, which he threw out of the window when guards became suspicious.

Prison officers later recovered the phone. Jones was charged and found guilty of harassment on April 21 2017. He was released from prison on licence on October 16 2017.

What are his chances of being released yet again then, despite his persistent criminality? Pretty high, I'd say.

Should Have Gone Into The Police Force, Doc!

A GP is facing the sack after being accused of discriminating against a Muslim woman after 'asking her to remove her veil' during a consultation.

The patient claimed Dr Keith Wolverson, 52, told her he could not hear her explain what was wrong with her child because she was speaking through her niqab.

The doctor of 23 years then 'asked her to take it off' while all three were sat in a consultation room at Royal Stoke University Hospital.

...because then not only would you be able to demand she remove it, you could fine her when she didn't!

Police set up the camera on a van in east London which matches faces of passers-by with a database of wanted suspects, according to BBC Click.

One man walking past hid his face with his hat and jacket as he spotted the camera in Romford.

He was later handed a fine for disorderly behaviour, the clip shows.

See? If it wasn't for double standards, the State wouldn't have any standards at all.

Christ, What Are The Worst Like?!?

Someone at the 'Echo' needs to look up the word 'juxtaposition'...

Headline Error

Errr, well, actually, not anymore he doesn't...

Sunday Funnies...

Politicians ae massive hypocrites, eh? Fancy...

Useful Idiots Again...

Jacob Berkson from Brighton Migrant Solidarity, the protesters who clashed with police this afternoon, said: “The protest is about preventing immigration snatching people from our community and putting them indefinitely in detention.

“We are a peaceful resistance to a hostile environment.

“We’re here to support these people so [immigration officers] will think twice before coming back to our town.”

'Your' town? It seems you're determined to make it someone else's town....

The Home Office said the 17 men arrested for immigration offences presented themselves as Albanian, Indian, Ukrainian and Kazakhstani.

In other words, no-one's quite sure what they really are. So, what about those swinging fines for companies employing illegals, then?

A spokeswoman for U&I said: "We are committed to ethical practice and our contracts with construction contractors require that they abide by employment and immigration law and that all site personnel are qualified to come on site.

"We are aware that Home Office officials have visited the site this morning, and we are unable to provide any further details until their investigation is complete.’’

By which time you're hoping it'll be quietly forgotten.