Wednesday, 12 December 2018

"Not Even With Yours, Sarge!"

A woman said she has been left traumatised after police burst into her flat searching for a man she has not spoken to for nine years.
Meg Le Chalmers, 25, was sound asleep in her flat in Roosevelt Way, Colchester, at 7.30am on Saturday when her sister woke her because there was loud banging at the door. Seconds later, police burst through the front door smashing it from the hinges.
Whew! I thought for a moment I was going to read that they'd smashed her back doors in!
Miss Le Chalmers said: “My sister woke me up saying ‘What is that banging at the front door?
“We didn’t know what was happening. We thought it might even have been the postman.
Blimey! Postmen are hardcore in that neighbourhood!
She plans to make an official complaint against Essex Police and says the incident has triggered her anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder conditions.
One wag in the comment section has the perfect rejoinder:


Yeah, It's Not As Widespread As You'd Like Us To Believe...

A mother was horrified when she learned her ten-year-old daughter was threatened with a knife on her way to school.
The woman, from Southend, who will remain anonymous, said her daughter was cycling to school when she accidentally bumped into two teenage boys in Cecil Jones Academy uniform.
The girl apologised, but claims she was told by one of the boys “sorry isn’t good enough I’m going to stab you” and he then pulled out a small pen knife.
Oh, well, if it's only a small penknife....
“Cecil Jones needs to do much more to make sure kids aren’t able to bring knives into school. When I phoned them and spoke to staff, I was told ‘I’m not quite sure what you want me to do?’.”
I sympathise, unnamed lackey, it's not like you get a lot of practice at this, is it?
A spokesperson for Cecil Jones said they couldn’t comment on individual incidents, but highlighted the incident didn’t take place on school grounds.
They added: “We work hard to tackle incidents of challenging or difficult behaviour but it must be stressed that most schools in the UK deal with these type of incidents from time to time. Cecil Jones is not alone in this regard.”
'Most schools'...? Really? Do you think this school suffers these sort of incidents?

And if the answer is 'No', maybe ask yourself why...

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

I Don't Think 'Differently' Is The Appropriate Word Here...

Yesterday morning we published a story that had a profound effect on our entire newsroom.
It's Liverpool, so of course, it's a heartwarming tale of how people came together to help their fellow citizens.
Within six hours of our story going live - our readers had contributed an incredible £7,000 to a fund launched to help the siblings cover funeral costs and the huge financial challenges that now lie ahead for them.
And here's another heartwarming tale of how people came together to help....

Well, not their fellow citizens. Far from it.
...yesterday also brought us the incredible moment a group of young Liverpool fans found they had been travelling back from France with two alleged asylum seekers hidden in their coach. The young men were discovered stowed in the vehicle after the fans had returned to British soil. The immediate reaction from the Reds fans? Naturally, it was to embrace the two young men, make them feel safe and welcome and even pose for a photo.
We don't know the specific circumstances that have led these two young men to try and make it to the UK - but it stands to reason that you must be escaping from a pretty difficult situation if you are ready to risk your life by travelling in the engine compartment of a coach for miles on end - with no idea how far you will get.
No, not 'differently'. Try 'with extreme gullibility' instead...

"One said: ‘It’s mortifying to think somebody capable of that could be living along your street.’"

A murderer? A paedophile?

Well, no:
Colin Wing, 60, was caught on camera hurling insults at the Manchester City player in a Premier League match at Chelsea on Saturday.
A man who gets a bit too excited at a football match. Have we lost all reason in this country?
‘Nobody around me said they heard anything. I want to apologise unreservedly to Raheem and hope he can be a better man than I am by accepting it.
‘I offer him an unreserved apology. Even if it wasn’t racist, it’s not right what I said. Even the swearing is bad – but I got carried away.
‘I was completely out of order, but I’ve lost my job and my season ticket now so everybody’s got what they wanted. So why can’t they leave me alone?’
Oh, I'm sure the mob will lose interest now. There'll be another Two Minute Hate along in a minute to distract them.

Monday, 10 December 2018

But The British Taxpayer Is A Victim, Surely..?

'Police will never check a database only to establish a victim's immigration status,' Mr Sawyer added.
'If an officer becomes aware that a victim of crime is suspected of being an illegal immigrant, it is right that they should raise this with Immigration Enforcement officers and not take any immigration enforcement action themselves.
'Throughout, the police should treat them as a victim of crime.
'The police priority is to protect victims and investigate crime, and we are extremely careful about doing anything to deter victims from reporting to us.'
Illegal immigration is a crime. Isn't it?
Corey Stoughton, advocacy director at campaign organisation Liberty, said: 'We have repeatedly raised our concerns about this practice of sharing a victim's data with the Home Office and we are pleased the NPCC is finally addressing it.
'This inherently biased practice actively discourages victims and witnesses of crimes coming forward, leaving criminals to continue committing crimes with near impunity and victims with no recourse to justice.'
What about our 'recourse to justice'?
She said the issue will persist unless there is a 'complete firewall' between police and the Home Office.
In other words, 'Until we get the open borders we want, and our Common Purpose troops can move on to the next agenda item'.

Demand For Free Stuff Increases At Christmas? Who Knew?

Staff at a foodbank are asking for urgent donations as they warn Christmas could be their busiest month ever.
Last December, The Whitehawk Foodbank provided 137 three-day emergency food supplies to people in crisis, 47 of which went to children.
That figure is expected to be higher this year as it launches its Twelve Days of Christmas campaign.
Gosh! Who could have exp...

Oh, yeah. Everyone.
Manager Rich Merrick said every year, the foodbank sees an increase in demand in December.
So it's not remotely 'news' then, is it?

Sunday, 9 December 2018

Yet More Normalising Of Mental Illness... they even get dedicated gardening tips in local newspapers!


*googles schizostylis*


"It's Right There In The Headline!" Pt 24967

How can you get it right and wrong at the same time?

H/T: Paul Herring via Twitter

Sunday Funnies...

Doesn't cover the myth that Katie Price is somehow considered a celebrity, though...

Saturday, 8 December 2018

I'll Tell You What 'The Reasons' Are, Hamida...

Hamida Ali, Labour cabinet member for Safer Croydon and Communities, today emphasised the need to balance robust sentencing for violent offenders with measures to rehabilitate them.
The violent offender she's pontificating about is this charming fellow.
Councillor Ali said: "Robust enforcement is hugely important and will need to include custodial sentences.
"The judge seems to have taken into account significant contextual factors in coming to her decision, particularly the traumatic experience the defendant suffered in the run up to the attack.
"When we commit someone to a sentence, we have to consider what else we can do to get to grips with the reasons why they commit violence and use weapons, so when the come out they won't reoffend.
"It is as important as the message that a deterrent sends out to the community."
We know the reasons why people like him commit their offences. It's because there's always people like you seeking to absolve them of responsibility for them...
Councillor Ali, representing Woodside, says it is crucial that the work of police and the courts is coupled with a longer term social strategy.
"There is a public consensus that the public health approach is the best."
Is there? Have you asked the public, then?
"There's no one organisation alone that will be able to stop this."
The prison service would do it. If people like you didn't get in their way.
"Elements of the public approach will not be popular as one part of it is the length of commitment we have to make to an area. It's a ten year strategy."
Even Mao only had a 5 Year Plan!

"Yeah, But No, But Yeah, But..."

Stacey Hallsworth took perfumes and gift sets from Boots and Superdrug to fund her addictions to drugs such as Spice.
In court she admitted three theft charges, where Paul Lamb, prosecuting said she stole £212 worth of goods at Superdrug in London Road, before further thefts worth £54 at Boots in North Street and £93 at Boots in St James’s Street in October.
Mr Lamb said the public tried to stop her leaving, but she managed to get away without making any effort to pay for the goods. The 30-year-old of Percival Terrace in Brighton has 13 previous convictions for 24 offences, including five convictions for shoplifting between 2008 and 2013.
I'm astounded the police bothered; didn't they have 'hate crime' to concern themselves with instead?
Ed Fish, defending, said Hallsworth has previously managed to get herself off drugs and alcohol, but since having her daughter taken awaythings have started to go wrong”.
Errr, I think that's the first sigh od 'something going wrong', ism't it?
He said that because she has previously completed rehabilitation, she is “well capable” of conquering her addictions once again.
'Well capable'...? What sort of language is that?
Magistrate Nick Letherby told her he would impose a community order for a drug rehabilitation requirement.
She interrupted him in the dock and said: “I don’t understand you mate.”
“I am definitely not your mate,” the magistrate replied. He imposed a nine-month community order and told her to complete 15 days of rehabilitation at Pavilions in this time. She must also pay compensation of £359 as the goods were not recovered.
How am I going to pay that bruv?” she asked.
Ah. Clearly, he'd been consulting with his client too long and picked up the vernacular.

Of course, we know who will pay, don't we, reader?
Mr Letherby told her the sum would be taken from her benefit payments.

Friday, 7 December 2018

Laying The Blame On Everyone Else....

Concerns about the speed of the lorry and the driver’s visibility were raised by her family during the hearing.
The student’s family - who said they were “broken” by her death - also raised questions about measures put in place by the bonfire society organising the event and of the company which owns the lorry, Maritime Transport.
I'm not entirely sure why it's any of these people's responsibility to make sure their daughter didn't drink herself into a stupor.
Reports found she had a “significant blood alcohol level” of 194mg per 100ml of blood in her system and would have been “severely intoxicated”.
Sussex Police forensic collision investigator Julian Taylor said the size of the vehicle meant speed would make little difference if it hit a pedestrian and it would have been hard for any driver to avoid the crash.
Marks on the lorry were consistent with the theory she had been lying down at the time of the crash but Mr Taylor said he “could not explain” why she was in the road.
I think we all can, can't we?

With Excuses Like This, Mr Razi, Why Aren't You In The Law Business..?

The mum of the man, who suffers from autism and epilepsy, contacted the Echo after her son was charged a £10 deposit, and told he would have to pay another £25 on collection of the...
Kettle? Toaster?
...lightbulb, by Phone Experts, in the Knightswick Centre, Canvey.
Wait, what..?!?
The vulnerable adult, in his 30s, had ventured to the centre in the hunt of a new lightbulb, without his carer, and said a shopworker from Phone Experts approached him offering help.
Yeah. I just bet he did.
Manager Hussain Razi stated the employee was trying to help, but admitted what he did was wrong.
He said: “It was a misunderstanding, and they are now making it into a large issue. It has been resolved now and we have refunded the money.”
Oh, really? And you think that should be the end of the matter, do you?
“The employee who dealt with him has been sacked. He was already serving his notice and that was his last day.”
I wonder why he was sacked...
“He was just trying to help the man. He has said he looked like he was disabled in some way, and was just trying to help.”
Gosh, he seems like a helpful individual with exemplary customer service skills, according to you. So again, why was he sacked?
“He quoted him between £10 to £35 for the lightbulb. I am not sure why, as we do not sell lightbulbs.
Oh, I think we can all guess why.
“He tried to help but he was mistaken. This was not the shop, it was the individual.”
Yeah. Sure.

Thursday, 6 December 2018

Modern Families...

A mother has been banned from contacting her daughter after she smeared paint on the younger woman's kitchen window.
Blackburn magistrates heard the incident followed Tasmin Ashworth's son being savaged by her dog.
But the court was told ill-feeling between the two of them went back to when another son and brother hanged himself when he was just 16.
So very different from the home life etc, etc...

Coming Over Here...

...doing the jobs our own psychos won't do:
Alejandro Cuenca, described as extremely dangerous by a judge, was released under investigation after climbing through a window to attack the girl as she slept.
The girl was 12 years old. And that wasn't enough to hold a dangerous sex predator on remand?
Sussex police released him under investigation and two months later he struck again. He broke into the home of a woman and attacked her as she changed out of her work clothes.
He pleaded guilty to four charges in February. Sentencing was delayed while he was assessed by experts at a secure hospital in Kent.
Because he's not a criminal. He's 'unwell'.
Dr Jonathan Pyott from the Trevor Gibbens unit near Maidstone, Kent, said there was a clear diagnosis of schizophrenia and Cuenca showed violent sexual compulsion. He was asked to assess Cuenca before the sentencing hearing.
“We believe he had been unwell for some years,” the doctor said. “A long course of treatment will be required.”
And as he's presumably a British subject, despite the name, we'll be paying for that, I suppose?
Born in Spain, Cuenca spent years living in Ecuador before moving to the UK.
Thanks, EU. It always helps to be reminded why I voted 'Leave'.

Wednesday, 5 December 2018

Suddenly It's Not An Urban Myth...

In one of London’s most prestigious parks, streets away from the hustle and bustle of Mayfair, it would be impossible to think that a notorious dognapper was at large.
However, wealthy residents using Green Park to walk their dogs have been told by police to be on the look-out for a thief, who reportedly drugs pedigree pets and hides them under his coat in order to sell them on.
Well, well, well.... I thought the police usually pooh-poohed such reports?

I guess it depends on who is allegedly doing the dognapping...

I Wonder What Would Happen If He Broke A Magistrate's Nose?

Remmi Kibera, 35, of Beaumont Court, Victoria Avenue, Southend, was drunk and arguing with his wife on September 22 when two police officers rushed to the scene to help.
Upon arrival, the officers were subjected to what magistrates called “a protracted violent incident” which involved being the targets of Kibera’s abusive and violent outburst.
Kibera physically assaulted the two police officers and broke one of their noses which left her needing surgery.
Let me guess, instead of sending male officers equipped to go hand to hand if a wifebeater got handy, they sent a couple of diversity hires.

Maybe the female PC I've seen around Southend who is shorter than me...? The outcome is hardly surprising.

Nor is this one:
Kibera appeared at Southend Magistrates’ Court, where he admitted all three counts and was sentenced to ten weeks in prison, but it was suspended for 12 months.
Chairman of the bench Wendy Black said the offence was serious enough to warrant a custodial penalty, but his guilty plea was taken into account when determining his sentence.
I suppose Wendy can take that chance. After all, she's not going to be called out at 12:30am to try to subdue someone, is she?

Tuesday, 4 December 2018

There's Always A 'Butt' Somewhere...

A Labour councillor who failed to declare an interest in two properties her husband rents out when she was responsible for punishing rogue landlords has apologised.
Well, well, well....
Cllr Laila Butt breached Barking and Dagenham Council’s code of conduct three times after failing to register financial interests in properties in Strathfield Gardens and St Awdry’s Road, Barking. The first property did not appear on a compulsory private landlord register, breaching council requirements.
Cllr Butt said at a council meeting on Wednesday: “I am apologising willingly and believe it is the right thing to do.”
Why would anyone expect you to know what that is...?!
The local authority’s standards sub-committee recommended the councillor for Abbey ward take an opportunity to apologise and carry out training in the code of conduct.
You need 'training' to be honest?

"Stab Me, Stab My Dog..."

Another dog stabbing? They are like buses, always arriving in pairs!
Police were called to Crawley Leisure Park after the incident at 6.30pm on Saturday.
A fight had broken out in an alleyway near the multi-storey car park, and a 40-year-old man suffered a minor cut to his neck. But his dog suffered serious stab wounds and died as a result, police said.
Sounds a bit like the dog was considered more of a threat....
After the attack, Chief Inspector Rosie Ross says the people of Crawley are concerned after a “number of incidents”.
She said: “We are doing everything in our powers to target those responsible and bring them to justice.”
The comments are interesting:
*guilty LOL*

Monday, 3 December 2018

As Excuses Go....

A bus driver who was sacked after testing positive for cocaine has won almost £40,000 in compensation at an employment tribunal.
Kenneth Ball, 62, from Canvey, failed a random drugs test after a shift in June 2017 when he worked for First Buses. Dad-of-two Mr Ball, who had a previously unblemished 21-year career, insisted he had never taken drugs and blamed the result on cocaine getting into his saliva from bank notes.
Well, when I'm at a cashpoint, the very first thing I do before tucking the cash away is lick them. 

Doesn't everyone?

But that's not what happened, according to the driver.
As a diabetic, Mr Ball said he had to test his blood sugar every two hours, resulting in sore fingertips which he said he licked continuously. The tribunal heard that the "constant handling of money and hand-to-mouth interaction potentially contaminated the sample".
Convincing? Hmm. I'm not so sure.
In a bid to clear his name, Mr Ball had his hair follicles tested at his own expense. The tests showed no traces of cocaine in his system but the company disregarded this evidence because it was "not part of the company's procedure", the court heard.
Is the company not entitled to say what it considers to be part of its procedure? If it tells employees up front, then surely the answer can only be 'Yes'.?
Employment Judge Tobin noted that in criminal proceedings, hair follicle testing is accepted as more reliable than saliva tests. Referring to them variously as “puerile” and “grossly unfair”, judge Tobin found that the managers throughout the hierarchy of the company were “committed to one outcome only and that was to find the claimant guilty”.
Tobin has form for bonkers decisions. But does this leave the police wide open to similar claims by drug drivers? Will they too start to need hair samples?

Still, there's always the comments to leaven the subject with a bit of humour:


Shoot First, Then Call The Police...

...officers found a German Shepherd, believed to be her beloved Oscar, covered in blood after biting a ewe’s neck. The sheep was put down.
Cops advised the farmer it was illegal to blast the dog since he had it under control.
He would have been entitled to kill it if still running amok.
Repeat after me: "I couldn't catch it, officer, so I was forced to shoot'."
"Claudia was deeply concerned her dog would have to be put down.
“She and Matthew are mortified about being thought of as irresponsible dog owners.”
That's exactly what you are.

Saturday, 1 December 2018

You Can Safely Ignore These Objections...

Sadiq Khan, the mayor of London, has come under pressure to order Cressida Dick, the Metropolitan police commissioner, to...
Pull her finger out and get a grip on London's street crime epidemic?
...stop plans for officers to patrol residential areas of the city with their guns on show.
By which utter morons, may I ask?
Len Duvall, a Labour member of the London Assembly (Ed: Translation: career obstructive guttersnipe) and former chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority, the body which used to oversee the Met, said: “Now the police with guns are in cars, in central London because of the terrorist threat, or for a specific operation.
“Police walking around a [council] estate with guns is a crazy thing. It creates a different atmosphere. It does not make sense and has not been thought through.”
Stafford Scott of the Monitoring Group (Ed: Translation - fulltime taxpayer funded race-baiter), which campaigns against what it sees as police injustices, said: “The more oppressive the policing and state response is, the more the violence will increase. These kids have been bullied by the police and its partners for most of their lives.
“They cannot fight the state so they fight each other. The police need to identify those who are a real threat and not simply use the violence as an excuse to oppress large sections of the community.
Ah. The usual suspects. Listening to them is what got us into this state. Try something new. 

Where's The Outrage And The Headlines? Where's The GoFundMe Page?

The attack, which was caught on the Canvey school’s CCTV system, showed the girl being grabbed by the throat and thrown to the ground causing her to bang her head.
She was taken to hospital as a precaution and now has to leave school early to avoid the bully.
Wait, what? Why is the bully still going to the same school? Why has she not been expelled?
The grandmother, who will remain anonymous, said in a letter sent to the school: “I feel I need to write this openly as I have no faith in your bullying and safeguarding policy.
“My 12-year-old granddaughter who is in Year Eight was openly attacked on Tuesday on the school premises by another student.
“At a recent meeting with the head of year and deputy head before the attack, my granddaughter stated she was afraid of this child and was being bullied. This was brushed off and it was suggested my granddaughter find new friends.
“The attack happened in the school and was recorded on their CCTV with a crowd of children watching.
“The bully grabbed her by the throat, threw her to the ground, hitting her head on the doorframe.”
Fortunately a friend in an older year was able to intervene.
The grandmother continued: “Since the attack, the school’s aftercare has been shocking. The bully was only suspended for three days even though this is not the first person she has attacked at school.
“The bully gets to come back like nothing’s happened while my granddaughter has to leave five minutes early every day to ensure her safety.
“What is more alarming is the school is taking no responsibility. In my eyes this is a total cover up and setting the example bullies don’t suffer consequences.”
Some do. Some get hounded out of the country by a media wolfpack. While the victim is feted.
An Essex Police spokesman confirmed the force was investigating.
Anyone with information should call PC Helen Harwood at Canvey police station on 101 quoting crime reference 42/169838/18 or visit or call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
But surely the media has taught us that the right thing to do is express national outrage and shower the victim with riches.

Or is this case somehow different? 

Friday, 30 November 2018

Tweet Of The Month

Another dead heat:

Well played, Jim Pickard, well played indeed....

As is this, from James:

And this, from LittleG:

Post Title Of The Month

Hitting the spot for a second month in a row, it's Longrider's take on the cause célèbre of the month:

Quote Of The Month

Double winners! DumbJon skewers May's pathetic troops with one well placed thrust:
"There is no better proof of the fundamentally corrupt nature of Professional Conservatives than that they either embrace or denounce the self-same policies, depending on whether they come from Corbyn or from some dude with a fancy accent."
While Tim Newman points out just how the modern police forces find themselves hoist on their own petard:
"...I love how the police have spent years elevating themselves to special status whereby only they can have weapons, only they can protect you, only they can do X, Y, and Z and ordinary people “must not take the law into their hands” but instead wait for Plod to show up three days later. Yet here they are whining that they don’t want to come to work if the public won’t join them in hand-to-hand combat with a bunch of feral thugs the very same police forces won’t let us criticise."

Post Of The Month

A double this month.

First up, Fahrenheit211 on Gab's policy of 'No Surrender'.

Followed by The Moose and a whole series of blogposts fisking those smug, self-righteous lists the Millennials seem to love...

Seems A Bit Of Overkill For Petty Cash, An XBox And Two Mobile Phones....

Up to four men approached a 21-year-old man outside his home in Valkyrie Road, Westcliff, just before 12.35am on Sunday, November 18.
They assaulted him, forced him to open the front door of his house and went inside, where they assaulted a man and a woman aged in their 50s. The thugs, who were armed with two knives, also attacked the family dog, who had given birth to seven puppies in August.
In a Facebook post, a copy of which has been shared more than 800 times, a family member urged people to share the police’s appeal in a bid to find their dog’s killer.
Doesn't sound like an opportunist robbery to me. But even so, you'd think this would be high priority, but Essex Police seem far more concerned about car enthusiasts.
There were believed to be three or four men, who were all described as being black and wearing dark clothing.
I wonder if that's a clue? Because they don't seem to show any signs of stopping:
The three men have been described as being black and they are believed to be in their late 20s or early 30s. They all wore dark clothing and left the address in the direction of Pitsea Road.
A gang of armed black men going around performing house invasions, apparently for peanuts. You'd think that would be bigger headlines.

Wouldn't you?

Thursday, 29 November 2018

More Vegan Cats....

It will fall to their generation to attempt to clear up the plastic waste with which we have polluted the oceans.
But the future is in safe hands if nine-year-old Ella McEwan and her sister Caitlin, seven, are anything to go by.
Do they plan to be inventors or refuse collectors when they grow up?
After learning at school how rubbish is endangering sea life, the eco-aware pair from Southampton set up an online petition for fast food giants to stop putting plastic toys in children’s meal boxes.
Ah, no, silly me. They plan to grow up to be smug collective punishment advocates. Probably something they learned at home.

Or...was it?
‘The girls have had lots of lessons about protecting the environment and they were quite worried about it,’ said their mother Rachael, 49.
When I went to school at the age of seven and nine, I had 'lots of lessons' about French, German, English, English Literature, history, geography....
‘Ella came home after they’d seen a short film about plastics in the sea. They were talking about turtles with plastic bags round their necks, and that really upset the children.
‘They noticed the toys they got in the kids’ meal boxes weren’t great, they didn’t really want them, and a lot of the time they were plastic, wrapped in plastic,’ their mother said.
‘We started giving them back unopened and then, because they know about petitions, we talked about starting one and they were keen.’
And now I'm wondering who exactly is driving this..?

Brighton: Twinned With Sodom And Gomorrah

Well, there's a headline I never thought I'd read in an English newspaper!
Despite her strict training regime and daily trips to the gym, a pathologist told the court the grandmother also had cocaine, diazepam, ketamine and mephedrone, known as Meow Meow, in her system when her body was found.

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

This Is Why We Have A Knife Crime Epidemic Pt 4732874...

Shocking dashcam footage showed Joshua Gardner, 18, brandishing the enormous blade on a busy south London road before repeatedly slashing at the car and threatening its 19-year-old driver, who got out and ran away.
We all remember the video. And the demands for 'tough action' against knife crime in its wake.

Well, here it is:
But an Old Bailey judge told Gardner he would only be given a suspended sentence because he was wielding the knife after a ten-day kidnap ordeal in which he was held at gunpoint.
Who knew that the inevitable consequences of a life led as knife-wielding street vermin could protect you from your actions as knife-wielding street vermin!

I guess that's what appointing a diversity hire (she is the first non-white judge to be appointed to the Old Bailey) gets you.

But maybe he was a first-time offender? No. They never are.
Gardner, who had a previous conviction for attempting to rob a schoolboy of his mobile and wallet at knifepoint...
But still, the poor little victim (no, not the schoolboy, keep up!)! Get your hankies at the ready!
Judge Anuja Dhir QC said: 'There was an incident of kidnapping between about March 26 and April 2, so a relatively short period of time before you committed this offence.
'You were bundled into a car, and threatened with a gun because of a drug debt that a friend of yours had run up.
'You were then taken to a place referred to as a trap house for ten days and you were made to sell drugs to work off the debt.'
The kidnapping, said to be by a gang of men in their 20s, 'reduced your culpability', she told Gardner.
Bollocks it did!
Judge Dhir passed a sentence of two years in jail suspended for two years after hearing of his kidnap ordeal and reading a letter from his mother.
Which reminded me of a Tweet I saw just yesterday:

Makes you think. Doesn't it?
Defence lawyer Mark Stevens told the court his client was 'thoroughly ashamed' of himself and for the 'pain' he had put his family through.
'His mother is really looking to move away from the area. It is a completely different borough,' he said.
Yes, it probably is. But that's due to the presence of street thugs like Gardner! Still, it's nice to know some other borough will be enriched by his presence. One can only hope it's somewhere close to Anuja or her kin, but I rather doubt it...
'He was 17 at the time and I would urge the court to sentence him as if he were a 17-year-old.'

Instead of the powerfully built sullen little animal he is today...

Alternative Headline: "'Loose Women' Viewers Puzzled By Age-Old Legal Principle..."

The 78-year-old singer made the controversial remark during an appearance on Loose Women on Tuesday.
What on earth is 'controversial' about this?
...while the Loose Women panel, which included Sir Cliff's friend Gloria Hunniford, appeared to agree with his comment, viewers expressed outrage.
'Cliff Richard repeating his line that he'd rather 10 guilty rapists walk the streets than 1 innocent person be investigated on #LooseWomen is gross and abhorrent,' said one person on Twitter.
'Imagine having 10 predators on the streets just because you were mildly inconvenienced by an investigation into you that was proven to be untrue?'
Another said: 'I'm not a fan of Cliff Richard but he's turned my stomach saying that 10 guilty men should go free to save one who's innocent. Absolute disgrace.
'The victims of abuse, assault and rape deserve more.'
Another viewer branded his comment 'insane' and 'offensive.' 'Cliff Richard just said one of the stupidest and most offensive things I've ever heard in television,' the viewer wrote on Twitter.
Congratulations, 'Loose Women' viewers! You have all just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that daytime TV lowers your IQ.

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

Aren't You Forgetting Something?

There's been predictable outrage at the suggestion that new social housing should be made non-smoking:
Simon Clark, of Forest, the smokers' campaign group, said: “Reaching into smokers’ homes takes tobacco control in a new and rather sinister direction.”
Dave Jennings, 71, said he had no plans to stop smoking in his council house.
“It is just nonsense,” he told the Mirror near his home in Poplar, east London. “It is not anyone’s business what I do in my house,” he said.
Non-smoker Gary Brown, 66, said people smoking in their homes was no one’s business but their own.
It's not 'their house'. It belongs to someone else. It belongs to the state. And if you are a social housing tenant you are, literally, living in someone else's house.

What they say goes. It's that simple.

H/T: LegIron via Twitter

But They Will Have To Undergo Strict And Lengthy Medical Supervision Before Anything Is Done, They Promised...

A mother was warned that her daughter could be placed under the care of social workers after she complained that the 14-year-old was being ‘encouraged’ to change sex by a therapist and her teachers.
The 45-year-old, whom we’ve called Lisa to protect her identity, raised the objections after discovering that, during their first hour-long appointment, an NHS psychotherapist had told the girl she could take hormones to stop her periods and give her male characteristics.
Slippery slope? Don't be silly, citizen. Now run along, and let the experts handle this.
She also found out that teachers had given her daughter – who wanted to identify as male – a boy’s name and referred to her using male pronouns at school without her parents’ knowledge.
Strange. They are usually blind to that.

Monday, 26 November 2018

What Took You So Long?

One incredulous rider raises his hands in indignation after he is sent clattering to the ground, and another told police: 'I took my helmet off so I thought you'd stop chasing me.'
Such has been the inevitable reaction to the police going 'softly softly' with young street thugs for fear of criticism or complaints of racism that they are now totally indignant when the police suddenly reverse their approach.

Stop me doing as I please? How VERY DARE THEY!
Scotland Yard chiefs have now vowed to get tough with the gangs as they attempt to take back control of the streets.
They don't seem to have left it too late. Just.
Police say from January to October last year there were 19,455 such offences across London but from January to October this year the numbers had dropped to 12,419 offences.
And in the same period last year there were 12,192 moped thefts across London compared to January 2018 to October 2018 when there were 8,261 offences - a reduction of 32 per cent.
Commander Pearson added: 'We are not complacent and we will continue to work tirelessly across London to maintain this downward trend.'
The question remains, though: why were you complacent before? And I'm not the only one asking this:

I fully expect this policy to be reversed the minute some dusky youth with an unpronounceable name breaks a bone or two. And our hopeless Met Police Commissioner faces the inevitable criticism from the left wing bleeding hearts.

But let's enjoy it while it lasts.

But There Will Be All These Checks And Balances, They Promised...

Three doctors who certified a woman as autistic so that she could die by euthanasia are set to go on trial in Belgium.
The sisters of Tine Nys told investigators that her suffering was caused instead by a broken heart after a failed relationship, and that she had falsely claimed to be autistic to two doctors and a psychiatrist.
She had told them her suffering was 'unbearable and incurable' so that she could qualify for euthanasia under Belgian law.
There seems to be a fair few cases like this coming to light now.

But those of us who warned of the potential consequences and pitfalls were pooh-poohed as always.

Saturday, 24 November 2018

"How Does The Defendant Plead?"

"Woof! Woof! Grrrr!"
A policeman whose dog injured a member of the public has been charged with racially aggravated wounding.
Paul Birch, a West Midlands Police constable, is accused of unlawfully and maliciously causing grievous bodily harm to a man with a group of travellers. It follows an incident at the site of the former North Worcestershire Golf Course in Northfield, Birmingham, in September last year.
The injured man was taken to hospital after being bitten by the animal, the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) said.
That'll be an incident resulting from this, no doubt. The initial complaint was for one of theft.
Officers were engaging with a group of people on the site when a police dog seized a man by the leg.
Unbidden by the handler? Or directed by him? Hmmmm. This is going to be a very interesting one....

H/T: InspectorGadget via Twitter

Time To Throw Away The Key?

Prosecutor Anna Midgley said Savage and Miss Hayton had caught the train from Selly Oak near Birmingham on April 15.
Savage had planned to go to Aberdare in South Wales to confront her mother with two knives - because she had received a text saying her mum wanted nothing to do with her.
Miss Midgley said: 'Miss Hayton explains that the attack on her by the defendant began when she said she no longer wanted to go to Aberdare to confront the defendant's mother.
'The defendant's reaction was to begin raging and to take out a knife which she had packed and to stab Miss Hayton repeatedly.'
If you're travelling with a knife-wielding lunatic, it seems a bit risky to say 'Actually, don't fancy it much..'. doesn't it?
She was out from prison on license after serving 17 years of a life sentence for stabbing her ex boyfriend with a Stanley knife.
Ah, yes, the good old 'life sentence'. Based on the life of a mayfly.
Newport Crown court heard Savage has a string of violence offences dating back to 1991.
In 2000 was sentenced to life with a minimum of three years for wounding with intent.
She was released but went back to prison on recall for a public order offence.
Savage was then released into a hostel in Birmingham in February 2018 where she met old friend Sarah Hayton.
What could go wro....

Oh. Yeah.
Judge Eleri Rees has now sentenced Savage to life with a minimum of 8 years and four months after she admitted attempted murder and two charges of having a blade.
She said: ' It was a frenzied and sustained attack.
'After a lengthy period of custody, you served some 17 years, that did not serve to reduce the risk you pose to others.
'You are dangerous and pose a high risk of harm to the public.'
Then maybe this time, keep her in?

Friday, 23 November 2018

Happy (Modern) Families...

An investigation has been launched after a bus driver drove off with a five-year-old onboard leaving the rest of his family behind.
Oh noes! Every mother's horror.
Intrepid passenger Freddie Gore hopped onto the bus while mother Tracey Gore got ready to board with her one-year-old granddaughter Isla Hassan.
But before they, as well as Charlie Gore, eight, and Shenelle Hassan, 11, could join him the driver closed the doors and carried on along the route.
“I was fearful for Freddie, wondering if it would stop. You don’t know who is on the bus nowadays, he could have been abducted. It was terrifying and I’m dreading the next school run.”
But it's not the bus driver's responsibility to care for your extended brood. It's yours.

Commenter Ray Vonn says: "So she has a 11 year old Daughter with a different surname to hers and her brothers, a 5 year old and 8 year old with the same surname, and a Grand daughter with the same surname as her 11 year old.?"

Yes. That rather puzzled me too...

As did this, from commenter Henry Champion:
"I am struggling to do the Math, without even attempting to work out the surnames. The mother is a grandmother and her 5 year old, 8 year old and 11 year old have a 1 year old Niece! How does that work outcome wise?????"
Beats me! I've never been good at maths.

Lost: Sense Of Proportion....

...if found, please return to Northamptonshire Police Farce:
Police chiefs have come under fire for locking up a chow-chow puppy under the Dangerous Dogs Act after it gave a police officer a nip on his hand and arm.
The four-month-old dog, named Bungle, could face up to nine months in custody after it was seized by police in Stoke Bruerne, Northamptonshire, last Friday.
 Well, they aren't paying the cost of this kennel stay, are they? We are!
...police have defended their decision, saying the public reaction would have been different if the dog had bitten a child or caused an accident when the officer tried to restrain it on a busy road.
Maybe it would have been, but it didn't.

Aren't you supposed to act like professionals, with due concern for the taxpayer, rather than risk-averse, box-ticking inflexible morons?

I wonder why they have taken this action, rather than have a quiet word with the owners?
...Mr Hayes and his wife Susan, who are said to be millionaire bankers, have appointed lawyers to look into the matter, The Sun reported...
Ah. I'm sure that didn't sway our stalwart boys in blue one bit.

Update: I was expecting the police to stick to their guns in the face of online fury, but surprisingly, they didn't:
Tonight police announced Bungle had been returned to its millionaire owners subject to a control order.
Well, well, well....
Chief Superintendent Chris Hillery defended the officer's actions and said the decision to free the dog was not influenced by media coverage.
 As a very famous lady once said: "Well, he would say that, wouldn't he?"
He said: 'We understand that the actions taken on this occasion have generated significant public opinion on the proportionality of the officer's actions.
'To be absolutely clear I fully support the officers' actions in this case, the dog was unattended in a live carriageway and was aggressive to those present resulting in the officer being bitten and receiving injuries that required hospital attention.
'The potential risk posed by the dog at that time is not diminished by its age or that it was frightened.
'Having already bitten the officer twice, causing puncture wounds and bruising, it would have been negligent to release a dog displaying such obvious aggression without first ensuring both the dog's and the wider public's safety.
'In no way was this decision impacted by the media reporting. Having gone through a proportionate investigation and risk assessment, the dog has been returned with appropriate conditions to manage any future risk.'
Hmmmm. What do we think, LC?

Yup. Me too.

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Don't You Understand? I Have A Disability Card!

Mum Amy Ellis claims two-year-old son Leo was discriminated against during a family meal on Friday at The Cherry Tree, Rochford after a row broke out over the screaming child.
Miss Ellis said: “My two-year-old son is autistic, as well as partially deaf and epileptic.
“He is quite vocal and uses his voice to settle himself.”
That must be nice for the other diners...
When a supervisor came over to tell her complaints had been received about the noise she explained his condition and the supervisor came back with colouring books and crayons.
Not earplugs for the other customers?
It is alleged during a subsequent heated conversation a supervisor told the family “why didn’t you let us know when you booked that you were bringing an autistic child so we could warn the other customers”.
Amy said: “I could not believe what I was hearing, we had never had to do that before and the medical needs of my child are no one’s business.”
When they are impinging on their rights to enjoy a quiet family meal, they are!
Owner Gary Downham told how he was threatened and had to call in the police.
He said: “It was noticed that one of the young children would not stop screaming or shouting and whilst our restaurant is child-friendly, the level of the screaming was such that it was difficult to hold a conversation.”
He said he and staff stepped in to help, but were abused and threatened.
There's no comment from the police. I wonder if they too retreated before the mother's inalienable right to use the Disability Card to disrupt everyone else's life?

Tell Us Again, What 'Race' Is Islam?

An application asking to change the use of Stafford House, in Bonnetts Lane, Crawley, was before Horsham District Council’s planning committee on Tuesday (November 6).
It included proposals to extend the house and link it to a two-storey meeting hall, which would be built on the same site.
The committee had refused an almost identical application in January, with concerns raised about traffic and the impact the plans would have on neighbouring homes.
Well, why not just keep on and on until you get what you want? It seems to be the way a lot of people view the planning application system.

And if they refuse you, cry 'Racism!!':
With officers recommending this latest application also be refused, they were accused of being ‘hell bent on refusing this development on grounds that just don’t hold water’.
The accusation was made by Simon Brett, agent for the applicant, who told the meeting that a letter had been circulated, encouraging objections ‘on grounds that it is for a mosque’, which he felt was ‘verging on racist’.
If it's anything, it's 'religionist'. The applicants will understand that, since they practice it themselves:
A report put before the meeting explained that, for the past five years, the Shia community had been renting community and leisure centres in Crawley when hosting events, and was in need of a dedicated place of education and worship.
It added: “While there are other mosques within Crawley, these are used by Sunni Muslims who, although celebrating the same events within the Islamic calendar, do not undertake prayers and meetings together.”
They can't get on with each other? Well, how the hell is that anyone else's problem?

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Choose Your Victims Wisely...

McNeill published ‘scandalous satanic child abuse accusations’ and encouraged people ‘to take direct action against the children of these women.’
She allegedly published details of the cult, saying: ‘They would drink the blood of babies and then dance around wearing the skulls on parts of their bodies.
‘They would put them to sleep by injecting them, slit their throats, cook the babies and eat them.’
McNeill even claimed babies were cooked in a secret room in a McDonald’s restaurant on Finchley Road:
‘The ritual is performed on an upstairs room in McDonald’s on Mondays and Fridays.
‘Sacrifice, blood drinking and babies’ flesh eating occurs on Saturdays. The children are frequently injected and put to sleep, apparently the school nurse is the one who does the injections.
McNeill claimed up to 18 teachers from the primary school were also involved in abusing children. She said members of the cult - from all walks of society - carried out satanic rituals in secret rooms at a Hampstead church.
Strangely, police did not immediately launch investigations costing millions of pounds and dozens of man-hours investigating her claims.

They had, after all, already dismissed them:
Ms Moore told the court: ‘In September 2014 the Metropolitan Police received reports of wide spread child abuse. Satanic child rape and murder in churches in Hampstead in north London.
‘These allegations surround two small children, commonly referred to as P and Q.’
She said police initially took the complaints seriously and interviewed the children. The matter eventually reached the High Court and Mrs Justice Pauffley ruled that the accusations relating to the cult were ‘baseless.’
But recordings of the children’s police interviews surfaced online and McNeill began her campaign to uncover the alleged cult, said Ms Moore.
And she was promptly arrested and charged. Yet strangely, the only difference between this bonkers old bat's claims and those of the man known as 'Nick' is that her targets aren't celebrities and politicians.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

One Of The Responsibilities Of Pet Ownership...

The single mum-of-four, who is recently unemployed for health reasons, said: "I let him out in the garden and then thought he'd gone quiet.
"I saw someone had left the gate open and he had gone. I got my daughter and started driving looking for him.
"He went missing at ten to three and they called me at half past."
Wow! What an amazing service from the council! If only they were as quick at everything...
"I could have picked him up straight away, but they told me it would cost £117. I said 'you what?'. I couldn't believe it."
"That's a lot of money for me - money that I could use to pay for food, electricity and gas for my kids."
Or more false nails and tattoos...
"He's chipped and he has a collar, I've had him since he was a puppy and he's dead soft, it's not like he's a stray.
"There's enough dogs that need rehoming, never mind taking them off loving families."
I'm not entirely sure what rehoming has to do with ensuring those who don't take better care of their pets pay for the inconvenience, frankly.

Tuesday, 20 November 2018

*Munches* Hmmm, Better Than A Linda McCartney Veggie Sausage, I Suppose...

Barbecued bugs are are going on the shelves of British supermarkets as Sainsbury’s becomes the first big UK grocer to stock edible insects.
I'm sure there's lots of little shops that stock them unwittingly!
The retailer will start selling roasted crickets – described as “crunchy in texture with a rich smoky flavour” – in 250 of its stores from Monday, capitalising on the growing prominence of bush tucker in the global warming debate.
Incredibly, it seems we aren't falling to our knees in praise of the likes of Marcel Dicke for this 'opportunity', so much as Ant & Dec...

Or...are we?
The packaging for the crunchy crickets, made by London-based Eat Grub, deploys the environmental argument in a bid to win over shoppers who might balk at bugs for lunch.
Is there no nonsense the hipsters won't believe if it just has the words 'global warming' on it? They truly will swallow anything! 

It's OK, It's Not Prejudice...!

The judge questioned whether Xavier was free to offend on bail because his victims were heterosexual men and therefore treated as less of a priority.
Addressing the police officer in the case after sentencing, he said: "It's very rare for a heterosexual male to be a victim of a sexual offence, as we know.
"I hope the fact that these victims were heterosexual males did not cause them to be put rather lower in the list of priorities."'s just the usual police incompetence:
Detective Constable Lucy Marsh, of Wandsworth Police, who took over the investigation after the original officer dealing with the matter lost evidence, rejected the suggestion.
She said a "waiting list" for downloading mobile phone evidence led to a delay in the investigation.
How reassuring...

Monday, 19 November 2018

Ah, The Millionaire Lifestyle!

*looks up 'Hungry Man' dinners*

Eeeew! Truly, the most horrifying thing he's ever written!

It's Probably True...

Defendant Jasmin Hardie-Clay, 19, had punished herself every day since the incident more than the court could punish her, magistrates were told.
...after all, they are as much use as a wet paper rag when it comes to dangerous dog owners.
The defendant admitted that the Ridgeback/ Staffordshire cross named Bud, was dangerously out of control at Monger Road, Wrexham, in April.
But in the circumstances she was given a three year conditional discharge.
North East Wales Magistrates’ Court at Mold was told that Bud, owned by a relative, had since been signed over to the police and had been destroyed.
It's like an axe murderer getting let off with a warning because he's didpoised on the weapon.

Saturday, 17 November 2018

It Was Also The Most Pointless Answer....

The United Nations rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights squeezed onto a school bench alongside a dozen children in one of Glasgow’s most deprived neighbourhoods and posed a question: “Who should help poor people?
“The rich people,” Soroush, one of the children, shot back. “It’s unfair to have people earning billions of pounds and have other people living on benefits.”
It was perhaps the frankest answer Philip Alston received on a two-day visit to Scotland, where a million people live in relative poverty, including one in five children.
Note that 'relative' in there. These children are not 'living in poverty' at all.

Little Soroush isn't rooting through a garbage pile for enough to eat, or sleeping on the streets, or dying of a relatively-curable illness.
The children were asked to jot down what being poor might mean for a person. John Adebola-Samuel, 12, quietly penned: “He cannot afford meals. He cannot buy trainers. He cannot watch TV.”
Remember when you could go to a Scottish school and quote children called Hamish & Morag? Are there any left?
While Alston met Sturgeon, Karen Reid, 35, a single mother of four in the deprived Pilton neighbourhood - close to affluent Stockbridge and the elite Fettes College public school - told the Guardian how she last worked nine years ago, struggled with depression and once drank so heavily she suffered permanent nerve damage to her hands and feet.
Her disability allowance has been stopped, costing her family £600 a month.
And relieving the taxpayer of having to support a workshy drunkard. Sounds like a good deal to me!
Alston is in Belfast on Saturday before finishing his tour in Essex and London. He will announce the conclusions of his investigation at a press conference on Friday.
Don't bother. I can already predict what he'll say.

Maybe Judge Purkiss Should Foster Him Instead?

A teenage boy with special needs has been "failed" by a Canvey specialist care unit, a judge has said.
'Failed' how, exactly?
The judge has aired her criticisms in a written ruling after analysing the boy's case at a private hearing at the East London Family Court in Canary Wharf, London, earlier this year.
Ah. One of those. And we criticise other countries for secretive justice systems...
Island Lodge staff had not been trained to look after a child with the teenager's disabilities, did not know how to communicate with him and had exercised "unnecessary and probably unlawful restraint", the judge said.
Translation: "He was a violent little nightmare and they didn't want to wind up with staff injuries and resignations..."
She said bosses at Island Lodge had written to the council indicating that they did not agree with some of her findings.
Heh! I'd love to read that. But we can't.
Judge Purkiss said the boy's parents had asked the council for help because they were having difficulties managing his behaviour.
Maybe Judge Purkiss should offer to let him stay with her? She clearly knows better than anyone else...
"Island Lodge was never the right place for (the boy)," said Judge Purkiss. "Staff at the unit did not know how to communicate with (him) and were hyper vigilant he would become aggressive."
They do have the welfare of their own staff to look after...
"This led them to exercise unnecessary and probably unlawful restraint."
Shouldn't you know what's lawful and what isn't? Aren't you a judge?

Friday, 16 November 2018

The Justice System Is Broken...

The cowardly joint owner of a dangerous dog that “scalped” a young child has been sent to jail after previously failing to appear for sentence.
Sound familiar? It should do.
Michael Thornton was sentenced in his absence to two years in prison on October 10. Hayley Eldridge was jailed for 21 months for the dog offence and 16 weeks consecutive for perjury.
A warrant was issued for Thornton’s arrest and he was detained 27 days later.
I expect that cost him an increase in sentence?
Imposing 28-days imprisonment for breaching his bail, consecutive to the two years, a judge told him: “You didn’t have the guts to turn up to your sentencing hearing.”
Who could have suspected th...

Judge Griffith-Jones told Thornton: “This was deliberate behaviour on your part in an attempt to delay the inevitable day of reckoning.
“Included in your appalling previous history are numerous offences of failing to surrender or other failures to comply with court orders.”
In which case, why was he ever afforded the opportunity?

Time You Got New Lawyers...

Police have not questioned Doherty because lawyers said it is likely no crime was committed.
Really? Section (3) of the Dangerous Dogs act says if the owner or, if different, the person for the time being in charge of a dog allows it to enter a place which is not a public place but where it is not permitted to be and while it is there— . (a)it injures any person; or . (b)there are grounds for reasonable apprehension that it will do so, he is guilty of an offence.

Even the RSPCA agrees:
"It is an offence if your dog attacks an assistance dog but attacks on other animals including pet dogs are not. However, a court could prosecute if a person believes they would have been injured if they tried to stop a dog attacking their animal. "
It's no surprise that huskies are prone to attacks on animals. nor that a druggie waste of oxygen isn't a responsible pet owner.

And now, it's no surprise anymore that the police are an utter waste of time and money. 

Thursday, 15 November 2018

Should've Gone To....

...ah, you all know. And other optical supply retailers are available:
Callers reported seeing the stranded pooch on a church roof and feared it was dead when they realised it wasn't moving.
RSPCA inspector Nigel Duguid clambered up to discover the stricken "dog" in Port Talbot, South Wales, was a lifelike toy.
How lifelike?

*laughs hysterically*

Can't Just Sweep It Under The (Chinese) Rug Any More...

Households have been urged to recycle with more care as countries dealing with our rubbish get tough on waste.
Why are other countries 'dealing with our rubbish' in the first place?
Much of Barking and Dagenham’s recycling gets shipped outside the UK where it is transformed into other stuff.
Heh! That's quality journalism, that! 'Other stuff'...
A recent poll by the Local Government Association (LGA) revealed that at least 20 per cent of councils were under pressure as a result of new restrictions from countries including China on certain plastics and paper.
Some councils who have been most affected warn their recycling costs have increased by £500,000 on average over the last year as a result of the restrictions.
So just pass them on to the ratepayer, like you do with every other cost...
Cllr Martin Tett, the LGA’s environment spokesman, said: “It’s clear that the ban by China on imported waste, which could soon be introduced by other countries, could have a marked impact on councils’ ability to recycle.
“It’s essential that the government provides support to help councils offset the loss of income they face as a result of the ban and encourage manufacturers to use more recyclable materials.”
When you say 'government', you do realise they don't have any money?

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Not Falling For It Any More...

A taxi driver refused to take a blind man's guide dog in his car - but blamed it on his asthma.
But surely if this is genuine you can get an exemption?
But he was ordered to pay a fine after Kirklees magistrates heard that he did not possess a medical exemption certificate.
Ah. Must have slipped his mind?
Cabbie Mohammed Sattar, who works for Skelmanthorpe Cars, told the man that he was allergic to dogs when he came to collect him on April 5.
*rolls eyes*
Sattar, of Moorside Avenue in Crosland Moor , was investigated and provided a letter from his GP saying that he suffered from asthma and this was exacerbated by dog and cat hairs.
As a result, the doctor said, he was unable to carry such animals however Mr Hanif said that the fact that the driver was unable to transport them was not the issue.
He explained that all private hire taxi drivers are required to take a course which includes dealing with difficult customers and different scenarios. Mr Hanif said:
“Within that training course it is explained that if you have such issues you have to apply for an exemption certificate.”
 And if you're too dim to grasp that, perhaps some other line of work would suit you better?

About Those Sentences For Knife Crime...

Oh, the youth of tod...

Wait, what?
Darren Sutherland, 55, of Whitegate Road, Southend, was arrested by Essex Police officers in Southchurch Road on July 21.
He was found to be in possession of a large kitchen knife with an eight-inch blade and red tape around the handle.
I wonder if he had a reasonable excuse? Maybe he was a chef returning from work?
The 55-year-old pleaded guilty and was handed a four-month prison sentence which was suspended for 12 months.
The chair of the bench stated the sentence was suspended because the defendant had no relevant convictions and pleaded guilty at the earliest opportunity.
Not 'no convictions', just no relevant ones.

Tuesday, 13 November 2018

Nice Try, Love But No Cigar...

A distraught mother was forced to leave her home when her 13-year-old son was exploited by drug dealers - and came home with a Kinder egg full of crack cocaine and heroin.
The mum, who will remain anonymous, was moved out of Quantock flats, Southend, by police for safety reasons. But, she says Southend Council are now evicting her from her new flat and will only house her back at the tower block.
How heartless! How cruel! How...

...absolute bollocks:
The pair were moved out of the tower block by police and were placed in a South Essex Homes property temporarily.
However, due to several complaints which the mother says are “malicious”, they have now been asked to leave and told the only property available in Southend is back at Quantock.
Did you think even a worthless chip-wrapper like the 'Echo' wouldn't get a quote to disprove your sob-story?
Councillor Tony Cox, said: “We have been working very closely with South Essex Homes and Essex Police to provide support to this resident, initially finding a temporary solution very quickly to ensure the resident was safe.
“This option was always a temporary measure, and this was explained clearly at the time and a number of times since.
"It is an adapted property for disabled residents, and that property must remain available for residents on the housing register who require an adapted property. In addition to this, a number of complaints have been received about anti-social behaviour being carried out at the property.
“The advice given to this resident from all agencies involved is to move out of the area, and we have offered various streams of support to enable this to happen. Unfortunately this has been refused and so we are left with no other option than to ask them to move back to their previous property.”
Back to the Quantocks you go, love!

What's A Life Worth?

Johnson, of Sandleford Lodge Park in Thatcham, Berkshire, admitted causing death by careless driving.
He denied dangerous driving, which prosecutors alleged had happened when he drove afterwards with a shattered windscreen. The charge was ordered to lie on file.
The defendant did not enter pleas to being the driver of a vehicle and failing to stop after a road accident and being the driver of a vehicle involved in a road accident and failing to report the accident. Both charges were not proceeded with by the prosecution.
Why not? It's not like he wasn't bang to rights on both, after all....
Ian Bridge, mitigating, said Johnson was "desperately sorry" for his "momentary inattention" to the road ahead.
And his efforts to conceal his crime? Is he 'sorry' about that too?
Judge Peter Crabtree OBE sentenced Johnson to a 12-month community order, under which he must carry out 240 hours of unpaid work and pay £250 in prosecution costs. He was also disqualified from driving for 18 months.

H/T: MisanthropeGirl via Twitter

Monday, 12 November 2018

Name The Contractor Then...

Responding to the criticism, a spokesman for Bellway Homes said: “We are deeply embarrassed by the appointed contractor's lack of respect and sincerely apologise for the offence that this caused to the local community in Horwich.”
Name the contactor that messed up, then.
"When we were made aware that the poppies had been covered by our development signage boards, we immediately sought to rectify the situation and they were removed as a matter of urgency by our own staff who worked late into the evening to take them down.
“We have the utmost respect for Armistice Day and for our military forces, and Bellway is currently supporting the Royal British Legion across the business.
“We could never have imagined that our signage contractor would cover the poppies with the marketing boards. This was a disrespectful mistake and one that we corrected as soon as possible.”
Except you missed one. And a member of the public rectified that. Which drew praise for his public-spirited actions from...

Wait, no, it didn't.
Horwich town councillor Marie Brady was not happy with the way the situation was dealt with.
She said that the images should not have been posted on social media and instead, they should have been reported to the town council or the local branch of the British Legion.
Because there'd be someone available at the weekend to deal with that, eh?