Wednesday, 18 September 2019

These 'Freak Accidents' Seem To Happen A Lot...

...and always to the same type of person. How queer!
Mrs Roy - who owns ELEVEN dogs - revealed that Mika has since been put down.
She said: "What needed to be done has been done and I can't do anything more.
"No amount of apology is going to bring that dog back.
"It's just a freak accident and there's nothing anyone can do about it, or will do about it, because it's nature."
For someone who claims to revere nature, she hasn't half spent a lot of money on not looking as nature intended...
Eleven dogs and a fortune on tattoos - she must have a very well-paying job, eh?

What are the people charged with protecting the public against morons like these doing?
Hampshire Constabulary confirmed a ‘number of enquiries’ were made at the time of the attack involving Dior on August 3.
A Portsmouth City Council spokeswoman added: "There was a joint visit to [Ms Roy's] property by the police, kennels staff and RSPCA where all the dogs were assessed and checked for microchips and work to resolve the situation is ongoing."
Ah. I think that's code for 'sod all'.

But You've Never Actually Worked....

Sonny Green announced he would stand as the Labour candidate for Southend Council’s Prittlewell ward in May and hopes his working-class background can make politics more accessible.
So he has a working class job? Is he a dustman, coal miner, builder..?
It comes as critics have hit out at offensive tweets the rapper posted on social media.
Oh.
Speaking with the Echo Sonny, who has since apologised, said his background is what will make him the ideal candidate.
He said: “I’ve always been politically inclined, even in my music. I am passionate about injustice and when things go wrong, it’s important to find out why.
“I joined Labour because their policies about investing in the NHS and social housing are inline with what’s important to me.”
Not to mention the dole, for when rapping no longer brings in the cash (if it ever did).

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

I Thought It Was An Offence To Lie To The Court..?

Oh, I forgot. It's OK when it's on your job description.
Brophy's defence lawyer, Michael Balmer, described the attack an 'unforeseeable offence.'
He told the court: "Genuine remorse has been evidenced by this defendant.
“Mr Brophy is a man of good character and he is in employment as an engineer and is studying to progress further in his career.
“He comes across as a genuine, hard working and likeable man who has found himself in a very difficult position.”
Which is why he immediately had the dog put to sleep, and compensated the injured woman in full?

Oh. Right.
The dog, which Brophy claimed had 'escaped' through a garden fence following the attack, has never been found.
*rolls eyes*
Greater Manchester Police said they did not have the powers under the Dangerous Dogs Act to force entry without a court order.
And they didn't think to get one?
Brophy was slapped with a community order and 120 hours of unpaid work, after admitting being the owner of a dog dangerously out of control.
He was also ordered to pay £2,000 compensation to Miss Cringle at a rate of £100 a month.
FFS! Yes, she was an idiot to put her hand in the letterbox. But the actions of the owner immediately afterwards show he's not a fit person to own a dog.

Isn't This The Wrong Way Round?

A dealer who targeted communities (Ed: no, just junkies...) in Southend will be deported after serving jail time for selling Class A drugs.
Aurel Elmazi tried to convince police officers he was a victim of modern slavery and was being exploited when he was caught with 58 wraps of drugs.
Heh! An excuse so daft even Judge Samantha Leigh wouldn't buy it...
The courts ordered the drugs to be destroyed and that Elmazi be deported to Albania once he serves his sentence.
Wouldn't it have been better to destroy Elmazi, and send the drugs to Albania?

Monday, 16 September 2019

Let's Make Them Live With Their Decisions, Not The Public....

Danny Lee cut Yasiira Senyonjo in the neck, causing blood to gush over his clothes in East Street, Brighton. Lee was on the run after failing to comply with the terms of his release from prison. He was previously convicted of knifing a man on the bus and threatening his own mother with a blade. The 31-year-old had been deemed safe to return into the public, so long as he took his medication.
But he did not...
Gosh! How unprecedented!
At Brighton Crown Court, Lee was sent back to prison for four more years.
Or half that, if he can persuade another bored State employee that he's all better now.
Lee was wanted on recall to prison at the time of the attack, having previously been sentenced to six years for inflicting grievous bodily harm in 2013.
He was put under stricter controls because of his “dangerousness” to the public.
Those 'stricter controls' did a bang up job, didn't they?
Jeffrey Lamb, defending, said Lee is described as a pleasant man, as long as he is taking his medication. He wants to move to Dublin in Ireland to resume a relationship, so Mr Lamb asked the judge not to make the sentence too long.
Because Border Control will make sure he doesn't come back, right?


Well said. It's a joke.

It's OK, I'm Sure Muggers Can't Read...


Oh. Wait...
C2C has decided to increase the number of guards at Southend Central but Southend East and Thorpe Bay stations will be among those who will lose permanent cover and be served by a mobile unit instead.
C2C will still have the same number of guards but with a greater presence at the biggest station.
/facepalm

Saturday, 14 September 2019

Fill In The Blank...

Is it 'funding'? Is it 'discipline'?


Well, look who is writing the column for a clue.
...school means choices, and there are competing ideas about what school is for. The position firmly in place now in England, thanks largely to the influence of Michael Gove during his time as education secretary, is that our schools should focus their attention on producing units of sellable labour power (school leavers), and these units should be seen as being more or less able to compete in what ministers call the global labour market; there is an agreed amount of knowledge that needs to be transferred from teachers to pupils so that they can become these competitive units.
Yes, yes, it's all about producing obedient drones for the communist mach... excuse me, for the capitalist machine, isn't it?

Well, what would you have them learn instead..?
I might soon arrive at a school and do a poetry workshop with some younger teenagers. It could well go like this. They make it clear that they don’t like poetry. I tell them poetry comes in hundreds of different shapes, sizes, rhythms and moods; one way we can make poems is in a group and without writing anything down. For example, the people who are in charge of us in life have ways of showing they are fed up with us, angry with us, or through which they try to control us; punish us, even. What do such people say? I suggest they go into pairs and say these kinds of things to each other – in role, as parents, teachers, carers. We select the best lines. Then I say, can we create this into a scene? They suggest that all the lines should be said to just one of them sitting in a chair; the rest stand in a semicircle around him, and as they each say their line they point at the boy in the chair and then step back, while the semicircle repeats a chosen chorus.
We have made a snapshot of one aspect of their lives. It has rhythm, structure, solo and chorus, movement and mimesis. Later they can perform it for others, write a transcript of it and “publish” it on a school blog. We can talk about what we have made: what worked? Was it like any other poems or plays? This is the arts in action.
If so, you can keep it, Michael.

Because what you're doing is not 'art'. What you are doing is focussing young minds on their grievances, with no thought given to why these parents, teachers and carers are saying what they are saying to these children.

But then, how else can you ensure a steady stream of future Labour voters?

I Don't Think The Code Duello Applies In This Case, Amjad...

A man shot a knife-wielding boy at close range without warning following a chase on a Tube, a court has heard.
How rude!
Bienvenu Vangu allegedly shot the teenager, who is from Newham but cannot be named for legal reasons, as the Hammersmith and City line train was arriving at Barking station on February 20.
Ah, such vibrant diversity! I wonder again just why it is Billy Bragg won't live here?
Amjad Malik QC, prosecuting, said: "Mr Vangu chose not to pull the emergency alarm. He wasn't going to use that gun to threaten him.
"He wasn't going to say to him, 'Stay back or I'll shoot you'.
He didn't even shoot in the air to give him warning not to come any closer.
"He didn't even shoot him in his arm or leg to disable him to stop him. He was going to shoot him so he would not miss, in the most vulnerable part of his body.
"[Mr Vangu] used a gun he was carrying to shoot deliberately, at close range, in order to kill."
Well, so would I, if my partner in crime turned on me with a knife...
In eyewitness statements, one woman described the boy as "almost stalking or hunting" the man through the carriages.
Are we not enriched..?

Friday, 13 September 2019

It's Always Fun When The 'Guardian' Goes Walkabout...

...and meets with the sort of people they despise:
Talk of coups and warnings about threats to democracy were given short shrift by high-street shoppers enjoying the midday sun in the Thames estuary town of Grays on Thursday.
“It’s fearmongering. I’ll tell you what’s undemocratic: not finally delivering on what the people voted for back in 2016,” said Maureen Fowler as she paused from a shoe shopping expedition in the largest town in the Essex district of Thurrock, where 72% of voters backed leave in the EU referendum.
Heh! Our intrepid explorer forges on, questioning people who are trying to make a living:
Selling toy bubble-blowing guns (“£4.99 and it comes with two bottles of mixture”) from a stall halfway along the high street, Zoe Scarrott shrugged her shoulders and shook her head when asked if she shared the concerns of others elsewhere that the prorogation of parliament might be profoundly undemocratic.
“I think that they, the MPs, need to deliver what the people voted for and if he [Boris Johnson] thinks that he can do it this way then people are not really going to care,” she said.
Ouch! Not going well so far, eh?

Ah, well. There's always the 'Look, they are racists!' subtext to fall back on:
Like the others, the restoration of lost sovereignty was a priority but there was also a personal motivation, as she saw it, for wanting to see Brexit realised.
“My little boy is six and is extremely bright but he’s being held back because the school he goes to is one where there has been a massive influx of Romanians, Poles and other people, and the teacher’s time is being taken up with teaching their children how to speak English in the first place,” said Scarrott, who noted that most of her customers spoke in accents that appeared to be from overseas.
And with that, our guide to the wilds scurries back to the safety of Islington, where the nannies and gardeners and doulas have learned to hide their accents.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

...try, try again!
Her case comes six months after Britain's first transgender hate crime prosecution was halted by a judge who declared: 'There is no case and never was a case.'
Miranda Yardley, 51, said she was put through ten months of hell after being accused of harassing a transgender activist on Twitter.
But District Judge John Woollard dismissed the case after a one-day hearing at Basildon Magistrates' Court in Essex, saying there was no evidence of a crime.
What's the evidence this time then?
Mrs Scottow, 38, will face magistrates on charges of making malicious communications over social media comments about trans campaigner Stephanie Hayden (Ed: yeah, that one...).
The Crown Prosecution Service said she had been charged over 'persistent' messages designed to cause 'annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety' to another person between September 2018 and May 2019.
She is due to appear at Stevenage Magistrates' Court on September 18.
Let's see if whoever gets this case is also disinclined to use the bully pulpit of the law to resolve an online spat between single-issue nutters, like his honour was...

Thursday, 12 September 2019

Is There Anything In That Bag...

...that'll help if a police helicopter crashes on your pub, then? Or you're lying in a ditch in a crashed car awaiting rescue that never comes?


Naturally, this being Twitter, the mocking was immediate, savage and merciless:






Not that the police will learn anything from it. It's as if Superman constantly forgets he's vulnerable to Kryptonite...

Brighton & Hove Streets Are Not Paved With Gold...

But with something a little more unsavory:
In June, Brighton and Hove City Council expanded its fining scheme which was previously reserved for litter-bugs, graffiti and dog mess.
It announced that human defecation, spitting and urinating would be punished too under its fines for “extreme antisocial behaviour”.
The move came after a rise in complaints to the council about these types of deeply offensive activities.
Well, it's now September. How's it gone?
But, two months on, no one has received a fine, a council spokeswoman confirmed.
Oh...

Seems to be a theme developing here:
Brighton and Hove City Council brought in “public space protection orders” (PSPO) in 2017.
The powers were billed as effective tools to tackle antisocial activities including people living in vehicles and tents in the city’s public spaces.
The council promised that, on request by an authorised officer, police officer or police community support officer, anyone challenged would need to remove any vehicle, caravan or tent within 12 hours.
Yeah. You guessed. They lied.
Now the council has said the order can only “ask” people to move the tents.
Pity the Advertising Standards Authority can't get involved. It could bankrupt every useless council in the country.

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

Maybe Recruiting Armed Services Veterans Isn't The Answer For The Police After All...

'Opportunistic' PC Oliver Darby, 42, stole a bank card and provisional driving licence from Gary Steel when he discovered him dead at his home during a welfare check.
And he'd probably have got away with it if he hadn't also upset a fellow cop:
The Army veteran's "despicable" theft, in January 2017, was uncovered when his home was searched after a female PC accused him of being a Peeping Tom.
Just the sort of modern police officer we need!
Darby, of Camberwell Green, appeared for sentencing for three counts of theft at Blackfriars Crown Court after being convicted by a jury earlier this month.
He was sentenced to do 200 hours of unpaid work with 20 days of rehabilitation during a 12-month community order.
Let's see if PTSD gets raised in the excuse...
Heather Oliver, mitigating, said: "He's an Army veteran, he served his country for 16 years, he served his community as a police officer for nearly five years."
Ooh, nearly!
"Mr Darby is very shortly to be without an income and he will struggle to find employment given these convictions."
Ooh, I don't know about that!

'All Cultures Are Equal', Eh...?

Really?

This is the treatment of wildlife in the First World:



This is the treatment of wildlife in the Third World:



Any questions?

Monday, 9 September 2019

He Didn't 'Fall'...

...did he, 'Guardian'?


It's easy to see which papers are 'progressive':


The 'Sun', the 'Mail', several local papers, have no problems whatsoever telling it like it is.
A reporting restriction prevents the identities of both the victim and the defendant from being made public.
It doesn't prevent the papers from telling the public what really happened though, does it?

Are We Not Allowed To Point Out There's A Good Reason For This..?

Black people in Essex are still eight times more likely to be stopped and searched by police as white people.
Errr, yes. And...? There's a massive county lines drug problem in Southend, due to its proximity to London.

Who do you think is selling these drugs?

But of course, it's an excuse for the usual suspects to start braying like donkeys:
In an open letter to the the Home Secretary, a coalition of 20 race equality organisations expressed grave concerns with the new scheme.
They said: “Home Secretary Patel’s claims that ‘stop and search’ tactics are the foremost way to curtail serious youth violence are erroneous at best and disingenuous at worst.
“The latest announcements by the Home Secretary represent regressive and counterproductive policing policy and cheap political point scoring.
“Deliberately or not, the Section 60 proposals are too often discriminatory, inflammatory, ineffectual in reducing serious violent crime, and ultimately alienating to a generation of young children and adults that are from black, Asian and ethnic minority (BAME) heritage.
Are the public allowed to have an opinion on it?

Guess not...

Saturday, 7 September 2019

"Human kind cannot bear very much reality."

And boy, is that also true of Twitter:


Seems reasonable enough? But batten down the hatches, here come the OUTRAGED!


You have to tell Claire everything, she DEMANDS it!


Who eats three meals a day of noodles..?


Criticising his cooking now?


They are really frothing now. 


I give up. If buying stuff off the reduced counter is 'theft', then come get me, coppers!

"Help Me, Judge Samantha Leigh, You're My Only Hope!"

At Basildon Crown Court on Friday, Noel Casey, prosecuting, said: “There was a degree of struggle from all three people in the car to resist the officers.
“The defendant, who was driving, refused to let go of the wheel or open the windows despite the officers’ instructions.
“During this time, the two other people made good their escape from the police.
“He was revving the engine and the officers feared he may drive off even if they managed to get in.
“He then stalled the Focus causing it to collide with the police vehicle.”
Leeks was handcuffed by the officers, one of whom suffered minor injuries when trying to break the windows of the car. Inside the Focus, a baseball bat, angle grinders, flares and other tools were found and seized.
The other two people remain at large.
Bang to rights! But.... wait.
Mitigating, Craig Harris told Judge Samantha Leigh that Leeks is the sole carer for his 15-year-old daughter and had made the attempt to steal the tools because “he was desperate” for money to help care for her.
*bangs head on table*
Judge Leigh chose to defer Leeks’ sentencing until January 31 to prove to her he could continue being a responsible parent.
What do you mean, 'continue', you senile old bat! He hasn't even begun to be a responsible parent!
Judge Leigh ordered Leeks to pay £500 to the two officers, who she also praised for putting their safety at risk to stop him.
He had his sentence deferred for six months after admitting theft and handling stolen goods in Basildon.
How do you think he's going to make that money?

Friday, 6 September 2019

Feel The Enrichment!

The 19-year-old told police he was trying to buy a drink priced at £1.40 but an argument erupted after a shop assistant charged him 60p more.
The customer was then stabbed in the abdomen with a 4cm-long salad knife before the suspect fled.
As the police dealt with the stabbing, a relative of the victim and another staff member were seen fighting.
The stabbing triggered a manhunt with police appealing for help finding 41-year old Turkish national Halil Ates wanted on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm.
Aren't we so lucky in London?
At a meeting of Newham Council's licensing sub-committee on Thursday, August 15, councillors agreed to suspend the shop's alcohol licence.
Should have closed it all down...
Four staff members failed to co-operate with officers after they requested access to the shop's CCTV, police documents show.
Officers seized the footage but it failed to show the attack while a second CCTV system in the shop's ceiling had been tampered with.
Gosh. It's almost as if our laws aren't respected, isn't it?

Other Road Users Were Failed Too...

A man who died during a police chase after absconding from hospital was let down by failings in mental health services, a damning report has revealed.
How do you die during a police chase when you shouldn't have been allowed to leave hospital?
A safeguarding adult review, obtained under a Freedom of Information Request, revealed Mr Rich was not properly assessed after being moved from Kingston to Springfield hospital in Tooting.
He endured excessive waiting times, which caused him to become “agitated”, and decisions were made by inexperienced staff despite his history of mental illness.
Almost 24 hours after being sectioned he ran out of hospital, to his home in Richmond where he got into his Audi TT.
Police pursued Mr Rich for nearly seven miles. He crashed near Kempton and died.
Thankfully, he only killed himself. More, I suspect, through luck than judgement. But how does someone who is sectioned 'leave the hospital'..?

Thursday, 5 September 2019

Suffer The Little Children...

...to lecture us all:


Yeah, sure. As soon as 'young people' can be trusted not to do stupid things because 'it's the fashion':
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, the area of the brain responsible for reasoning and thinking, the frontal cortex, continues to change and mature throughout the teenage years and into adulthood.
I'll not be lectured by someone who takes their gin up the back door, rather than in a glass with ice and a slice....

Goodness Me, What A Coincidence...


I'm sure that's all it is, though. There can't be any link. Can there?
Over the last few years the RSPCA has been called about the bodies of horses and ponies dumped like this in locations up and down the country, and more often than not they are not microchipped so the charity has no way of tracing the owner.
How convenient for them.

The owners, I mean. Not the RSPCA.

Or....do I? 

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Apart From The Most Vital One...?

Yesterday a spokesman for the park claimed a fault had been located and the fountain turned off.
He added: “It looks like a small fault somewhere in the pipe work that allowed a small amount of chlorine to enter the water in the fountain.
“The good news is we have isolated the fountain and everything else is working fine.
All safety procedures were followed.”
The one where it stops your fountain spraying pure chlorine into small children's eyes? That one..?

Scared Of The Competition..?

News Shopper understands a "prostitute" may be servicing clients in the same building where reporters work.
That's handy!
Building management of Press House in Petts Wood, which contains flats and offices, has warned residents that "unsavoury characters" may be seeking the services of a sex worker.
On Thursday morning (August 15), a "shifty-looking" man was sitting in the lobby as News Shopper reporter Jess Taylor walked into the building.
The news comes to you now, Jess! No need to go out and find it!

Tuesday, 3 September 2019

Aren't You Supposed To Know What's 'A Police Matter'..?

Horrified shoppers spotted a pair of French bulldogs locked in a silver van in Basildon town centre on Wednesday as temperatures neared 30 degrees.
Barking was also heard from another van in a town centre car park, off Great Oaks and opposite Basildon Fire Station, at 11.30am on Wednesday.
Concerned residents called the police immediately but have claimed they were initially told it was not a police matter.
Strange. Charities keep telling us it is:



Other police forces keep telling us it is:


Two hours later, as the situation worsened, Essex Police officers and fire crews attended, with firefighters managing to force the van’s door open.
How did the situation 'worsen' exactly?
One witness, who asked not to be named, said: “I saw the dogs and told the car park attendant.
“We stayed with the dogs but after two calls to police they said it wasn’t a police matter.
“A paramedic came over and she also stayed with us and her and another lady rang the police.
“I think they realised they had to send somebody then.”
Ah. I see. It was when the idle bastards realised how it'd play in the media if the dogs died and a whole queue of people lined up to give their story...
Essex Police failed to provide a comment when contacted by the Echo.
I expect the PR manager was hiding in the toilet, sobbing...

Gosh, Were There No Clues She Was A Liar And A Thief...?

The defendant is originally from South Africa, but has lived in Northern Ireland for a number of years and her other leading roles included the student union sector.
As well as her work with Dogs Trust, Peltz was regional co-ordinator of the Politics Plus organisation, which provides support to MLAs at Stormont.
She has also frequently been a media commentator.
Hmmm, charity worker, politician's assistant, union rep, media go-to talking head...

Nope, no clues!

Monday, 2 September 2019

"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance."

Mr Waller said Marsh wanted to turn his back on drugs and had reached a low ebb in the past where he took an overdose in a park.
But Judge Laing QC said: “I have heard the saying, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. We are back for the third time now. I’m no fool.
“You assured me your drug rehabilitation was going well. But you ruined this young woman’s day.”
For breaching the burglary suspended sentence she jailed him for nine months, and added a further three months for the theft and for the suspended sentence in November.
The scales have dropped from at least one judge's eyes. It's a start.

A 'Massive Dog Lover'...

Ms Jackson said the owner, a girl in her 20s, and the dog "just ran off" after the attack.
She said: "I'm a massive dog lover and I know how to approach a dog - but it just went. I pulled away or it could have been a lot worse.
"I had to see a plastic surgeon as it went straight through to the inside of my nose."
Ms Jackson said she thought the dog was a "pit bull-type".
...but clearly not one that has any common sense.

Sunday, 1 September 2019

Saturday, 31 August 2019

Tweet Of The Month

A three way tie! Sticking the boot into Corbyn:



And this is just sublime:


Post Title Of The Month

I'll forgive him the resulting Vanessa Paradis earworm, because Bucko's post on taxi driver guide dog refusals is a corker:


Quote Of The Month

Farenheit211 on Israel's blocking of the two Democrat politicians:
"Keeping people like Omar and Talib at arms length is something that any civilised and sensible country should do.
Ilhan Omar in particular is a person to whom scandal and hatred seem to stick to her like shit to a blanket. She’s made numerous statements that have been perceived to be anti-Jew, was voted in by a Minnesota Islamic community that holds views about Jews that would not be out of place in 1930’s Germany and has consistently demonised and delegitimised the state of Israel. Ilhan Omar is about as welcome in Congress as a pork chop at a Bar-mitzvah and unlike Rep Occasio-Cortez, is not just stupid but also malicious.
Talib is just the run of the mill Islamic hate-fountain but the sort of scandals that are sticking to Omar are ones that can no longer be written off as propaganda against her. She has not properly addressed any of the gossip about her such as campaign finance violations and marrying her brother in order to get him entry to the USA. She has spoken at conferences organised by groups closely associated with the Muslim Brotherhood and has become a poster-girl for American Islamists and a deranged far Left that will support anyone and anything that they see as anti-American."

Post Of The Month

Al Jahom points out some home truths.

Breaking A (Pinned) Butterfly On A Wheel...

She said: ‘The police said they received information from someone about the wolf online and checked if I had a certificate to own a stuffed wolf, and obviously I don’t.
‘It’s ridiculous that’s how they got a warrant. It was just a toy.
‘The whole thing has done me a lot of harm. How the police handled it was appalling and I was devastated by it. I thought they were going to send me to jail and I was absolutely terrified. My husband said “there’s a film crew outside” and we could not believe it.
‘I realise I have done something wrong but that was not justified. It was heavy-handed to have the BBC turn up.’
Yeah, Cliff Richard's court win clearly made no impact on our brave boys in blue whatsoever, did it? I guess they figure 'it's only taxpayer money'...
‘We live in a small village and it was turned into a circus. I was made out to be a major criminal.’
If you were a major criminal, they'd probably never have bothered you. But low-hanging middle class respectable fruit, who won't get aggressive or violent? They are in there like gangbusters!
Seven officers from North Wales Police’s rural crime team and a TV crew of three arrived at Mrs Tate’s home in Newborough, on Anglesey, on February 5.
Ah. Them again. Clearly, Mrs Tate wasn't 'vulnerable' enough to get away with it.

I have a theory about these 'specialist units'. And that's that they are often staffed by fanatics. People with no sense of proportion and an unshakeable belief that whatever they are doing, no matter how unreasonable it may seem, is righteous.

In short, the worst people for the job.

Friday, 30 August 2019

Councils: "We're So Strapped For Cash!"

Kids in seaside towns are being given lessons how to...
Avoid county lines drug gangs?
...avoid being 'mugged' by gulls as attacks soar.
*blinks*
They are shown cardboard cut outs of the birds and told about the dangers of eating in front of the gulls - and warned never to feed them.
By whom? The RSPCA?
Council staff in Scarborough and Whitby, North Yorkshire, are being sent into schools in a bid to 'improve the relationship between humans and gulls'.
FFS!
Jonathan Bramley, the council's environment and regulation manager, has been visiting schools in Whitby and Scarborough with videos and cardboard cut-outs of seagulls. 'We're reinforcing the message not to feed the gulls,' he said.
Because they are becoming dependant on handouts and aggressive begging is scaring the public?

Great! Time you shut down foodbanks too....
Local resident and best selling author GP Taylor warned that the local gull plague was getting worse.
He said: 'The birds are protected and there are strict rules governing the removal of nests if they have eggs in them.
'It is about time those in authority started putting people before seagulls. There are growing problem with these birds in Whitby.'
Oh?
'I have witnessed two people attacked on the street in the town and workman at my house had his sandwiches stolen by a mob of gulls.'
Oh noes! Isaiah Ntimane feels your pain, GP...

PETA:"We Kill The Most Animals In Need Of Help!"

RSPCA:"Hold our beer..."
Crews were called after the animal was found trapped in an old water tank on Tuesday.
After pulling him out of the cold water firefighters bypassed advice to have the animal put down and instead performed CPR and used animal oxygen masks to bring him back to life.
Good for them! Useful practice.
Lorraine March from Kent Wildlife Rescue Service was at the scene, in Chatham, Kent.
"The work the firefighters did was amazing, they spent 40 minutes working on it.
"They called the RSPCA who said they were available but suggested the crew took it to the nearest vet to have it put down."
Should have told them you had a camera crew in tow, they'd have been out so fast it'd make your head spin.

Thursday, 29 August 2019

"But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...."

"Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!"
A coach driver for an Erith-based firm has been sacked after filming a video criticising a cop days after an officer was killed in the line of duty.
Because apparently - what, you didn't get the memo? - they are uncriticisable now.
The driver films a police van parked on zig zag lines and suggests if any other car was parked in the same place, they would be disciplined.
Quite! Nothing at all wrong with that.
A statement said: "His views are not condoned or shared in any way by anyone else in our organisation.
"Abbey Travel have always supported and shown the upmost [sic] respect for all our emergency services and we have now removed this driver from our database with immediate effect."
Well, then Abbey Travel is clearly staffed by morons. Who are illiterate (unless the 'journalist' reporting this made that error).

And should be careful, because one day, they may well be on the other end of a Twitter mob. Don't expect much sympathy then.
Danny Hackett, independent councillor for Thamesmead East, praised the company for taking action against the driver.
He told News Shopper: "I am delighted that Abbey Travel have taken swift and decisive action following a video posted by one of their self employed drivers on Facebook. "The person who posted the video clearly has little or no respect for our emergency workers who deserve our undying gratitude and respect at all times."
Do they? At all times? Even when they are doing things they shouldn't be doing?

You're In No Position To Criticise...

A youth-focused trio will lobby the government with knife crime solutions written on chicken boxes that had been distributed by the Home Office.
...Hayel Wartemberg, Ndubuisi Uchea and Shiva Tarbhaker took to the streets of London and gathered responses from members of the public, including practical solutions to knife crime.
Oooh, this'll be good! *gets popcorn*
Uchea said: “It was really beautiful to see people coming up with ideas and then other people coming over and reading those ideas.”
And then laughing their socks off...
Uchea said: “A lot of the time, the policymakers are so far removed from those people living the reality.”
Let's see some of your 'reality' then?
“An interest-free business loan would help turn someone who is running a business as a drug dealer, which does take some business sense, into something with a better purpose.”
Amazing! It boils down to 'Bribe us with taxpayer money not to be criminals'..! Who'd ever have guessed?

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

" I taw a puddy tat as plain as he could be!"

Sally Williams and her son, Steve, were walking their dog in the grounds of St Peter’s C of E Church, in Powick, when they saw the large, black animal.
Ah. I forgot about Silly Season.
Mr Williams, from Bransford, said: “I noticed it run across the churchyard, and I thought it was a fox.
"I even said, ‘oh there’s a fox.’
A black fox? They are pretty rare! Rarer than the 'British Big Cat', even...
“Then it stopped, and I saw it was some sort of big cat.
"I would say it was about medium dog sized, like a spaniel.
“After I realised it wasn’t a fox, I started videoing.”
He added: “I was a little unnerved by it, and just a bit shocked.
“My mum was a bit scared.”
Of a cat the size of a spaniel?
“It does look like it has a collar on, so if it is something like a puma it could have escaped or been let loose from someone who owned it.”
Or...it could be a cat?
“I looked up puma and it fits the description.”
I'd like to know where you looked it up, then, as pumas are never black.

All Local Politics Is An Ego Boost, Peter...

...after all, why aren't you sticking to frying chips?
In a blunt resignation letter seen by the Local Democracy Reporting Service, Paul Van Looy outlined his reasons for leaving the Independent Group.
“In my opinion some of the coalition just wanted cabinet post to boost their ego.
“With a Labour leader and the coalition, in my opinion they haven’t got the balls to get rid of the dead wood council officers at the civic centre, which needs to be done ASAP.”
Hmmm, you may well have a point there, though...
Council leader Ian Gilbert hit back at the comments from Mr Van Looy saying it is inappropriate to attack council officers who are not able to defend themselves.
Not able to defend themselves, eh? I bet Peter has a few planning applications denied in the future. And he'd better be very careful where he parks, too!

Tuesday, 27 August 2019

"What's Up, Skip? Shall I Call The Police?"

The area, which is less than two miles from Windsor Castle, reportedly has a problem with a specific gang which targets wild animals.
One resident said: 'Last month they kicked a seagull like a football in front of everyone. It died 15 minutes later...
'Anything that flies will be shot at — they've even killed swans.'
Absolutely disgusting. What are the police doing?

Oh. Hang on. It's the useless bastards at Thames Valley's patch, isn't it?
A police spokesperson said: 'Thames Valley Police was called at around 5pm on Wednesday to reports that a wallaby had been seen in a park in Allen Way, Datchet.
'The wallaby was safely recovered and is now in the care of wildlife experts.'
Yeah. Like I figured. Nothing.

Another Of Those 'Extremely Rare' Incidents...

...you know, the ones that seem to happen with monotonous regularity:
On April 17 last year, shortly after midnight, the victim, a man in his twenties, was sat listening to music alone on a train from London Bridge to Norwood Junction. Duncan approached him from behind and punched him to the back of the head, before asking him “do you want to die tonight?”
He went on to pull a pair of nail scissors from his pocket and lunged towards the victim’s neck, who thankfully managed to block Duncan’s forearm and deflect the impact.
The victim was able to call 999 and officers arrested Duncan at Norwood Junction station.
Ah, don't you feel enriched?
In his police interview, Duncan claimed he’d drunk a lot of Jack Daniels that night and couldn’t remember the incident.
Yeah, Sure.
Yesterday (August 8), the judge sentenced him to two years and nine months in prison.
Which makes me think he had a lot of previous.
British Transport Police Inspector Malcolm McCulloch said: “While this was a shocking attack, I would like to remind the public that unprovoked incidents such as this are thankfully extremely rare on the rail network.”
Sadly, they aren't. As a glance through the local crime reports in any newspaper will tell you.

Monday, 26 August 2019

You Know What The Explanation Will Be, Emma...

...it'll be 'Well, who cares if we are incompetent, the process is the punishment':
Chief Magistrate Emma Arbuthnot found Paul Bussetti, 47, not guilty after it emerged the clip that sparked outrage online may not have been his.
Another disaster for the CPS, but why should they care, when it's only taxpayer money?
Mrs Arbuthnot told Westminster magistrates: "Putting this sort of video on the internet even in a private WhatsApp group could in certain circumstances constitute a offence.
"But in this case the Crown have not discharged the burden on them, I cannot be sure the video circulated on by the crown is the one by the defendant.
"The thoroughly offensive racist remarks and images sent by the defendant and others on a regular basis cannot fill the holes in the crown's case."
Clearly, the CPS goons forgot that they can't simply say 'these are horrible people' and expect that to be all that's needed. They actually have to have a case.

Oh, and follow the rules:
She praised Bussetti's defence barrister Mark Summers QC for spotting a police interview transcript of Peter Hancock admitting to also sharing the bonfire video had not been disclosed to the defence.
More disclosure fuckups, CPS..? Weren't the recent sex case failures enough of a warning?
She said: "Had these issues been raised at half time I may well have upheld Mr Summers submission of no case.
"Had Mr Summers raised an abuse of process that too may have succeeded.
"It seems on the face of it however the very latest this morning warnings bells should have been ringing.
"It's Mr Summers keeping his wits about him who prevented potentially a miscarriage of justice."
She said she will expect an explanation over the "appalling" disclosure failings by the senior prosecutor in the case.
The explanation is staring her in the face, and if she doesn't understand this, Fahrenheit211 will tell her the plain truth; the CPS has been so corrupted by political correctness, and infiltrated by Common Purpose, that it's no longer fit for purpose.

"I Have Spawned, Worship Me!"

A quarter of parking spaces reserved for parents with children are being abused by other drivers.
An investigation by comparison website Confused.com found 26 per cent of bays observed were used by someone without a child in the car.
It appears drivers are wrongly taking advantage of parent and child parking spaces, leaving mums and dads battling to find spaces with young children in tow.
There's remarkably little sympathy in the comments, with most people sympathetic to disabled spaces, but finding parent & child priority a step too far.
The company asked drivers why they abused the rules, with the most popular response being they ‘wanted to park close to the entrance’.
We all do. Why should those who have procreated get first dibs?

Saturday, 24 August 2019

Their Powers Of Deduction Are Incredible...

A 92-year-old retired dental nurse was seriously hurt after being mowed down in the street by a man on a mobility scooter.
Mrs Wicken’s daughter Helen Lee, 57, from Sunbury-On-Thames, said the rider stopped to check on her but left when other witnesses arrived. She said that the pensioner cried, “I’m in so much pain ... he hit me from behind, I didn’t even see him” before two people came to her aid.
Mrs Wicken is still receiving treatment in hospital and Mrs Lee says the family are considering legal action against the scooter rider, if they can identify him, after police deemed it an accident.
If it had been a retired police officer mown down, do you think they'd have been so quick to dismiss it?

And...so what if it was an accident? Don't they have a duty of care to find this idiot to prevent more 'accidents'?

Pity She Didn't Do It Before The Birth...

Defending, Paul Mendelle QC said Brazil's mother had taken her own life when he was 10 years old and that he was 'a deeply damaged individual who has been damaged by his traumatic early life'.
Reading a statement from Brazil, he said: 'I'm very sorry for what happened to this lady. I feel really bad and now I have to live with it.'
'Living with it' doesn't seem to have been that much of a problem for him:
Brazil, of Epsom, Surrey, has 46 previous convictions for 79 offences including battery, burglary and sexual offences, the court was told.
Still, he was 'remorseful' according to his brief. So that must count for somethi...

Oh!
Brazil told Judge Jonathan Black to 'f*** your mum's c***' and stormed from the dock as he was jailed for 20 years and three months with an extended licence period of three years.
Should have called him back and added another few years.

Friday, 23 August 2019

Trust, But...Wait.

A shop worker stuffed thousands of pounds worth of notes in his pants from the safe.
Chris Lam was caught on camera taking the money from the Cex shop in Western Road, Brighton.
Ooops!
It was just months after he was sacked for stealing thousands of pounds from Cotswold Outdoor Co where he invented fake receipts.
Wait, what? Why did Cex employ him then?
“It was not reported to the police, but he was dismissed.”
Ah. But wait!
He was previously jailed for four months in 2011 for fraud, and was cautioned for theft by an employee in 2008.
/facepalm
Judge David Rennie said he had been “thoroughly dishonest”, but gave Lam six months to prove his sincerity about paying back the money.
/doublefacepalm
Jason Halsey, defending, said Lam made full admissions to the thefts at the first opportunity, and said he is currently in work, earning £23,000 per year.
WHO IS EMPLOYING HIM? WHO?!?
He told Lam: “You have been thoroughly dishonest on a number of occasions in your life. You are saying all the right things, but I would say the same if I were facing prison.
“If you pay back the money it will be an impressive response that I would consider carefully.
“There may be better ways of managing your problems which led you to take stupid decisions.”
You could cut his thieving hands off? Maybe there's something to this sharia law thing after all?

The Price Of Safety Is Eternal Vigilance

...or as Tim put it the other day, "As the Stasi knew well, there are always narks...":
Two men were arrested over the weekend after passengers overheard them talking about knives.
BTP officers boarded a train at Wimbledon station at 5pm on August 10 following a report of two men discussing carrying knifes and theft.
One of the men, aged 24, was detained at the scene and arrested on suspicion of possessing a knife and theft.
The second man, also 24, fled onto the train tracks. He was found in nearby Cromwell Road and was arrested on suspicion of trespass.
More of this, please!

Thursday, 22 August 2019

No, No, There's No Proof It's Harmful...

Statements from four of Ahmed Nur’s friends were read out at the inquest today by the coroner, Mary Hassell, at the inquest at St Pancras coroner’s court.
Their evidence laid bare the stress and trauma Ahmed Nur was going through before his death. As well as dealing with the distress of being imprisoned and tortured as a child in Eritrea before he fled, he was constantly worrying about his family, especially his younger brother, who was in prison in Egypt, and his older brother, who was in Sudan. He felt he should be providing support for both of them but was unable to do so.
His friends said he turned to alcohol and cannabis.
Because that helps!
After he was stopped and searched by the police, he became convinced that because he was smoking cannabis he was going to have his refugee status revoked and would be arrested and imprisoned for a long time and deported back to Eritrea. He believed that he was being followed, that there were videos about his drug use on YouTube, and that his drug use was being broadcast by newsreaders on the BBC and by TV sport commentators when he watched football matches.
QED

Tough On Knife Crime..?

Levi Allen, 28, had the blade in Lottbridge Drove, Eastbourne in June.
He admitted possessing the weapon at Hastings Magistrates’ Court, where he was given a 12-week suspended prison sentence.
Allen, of Seaside, Eastbourne, was spared prison because he showed remorse, and his last offence was committed eight years ago.
Don't make me laugh!

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

"...they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR DOORMATS!"

South Essex Homes has been removing the items from homes at a block of flats in Shannon Close, Leigh.
One resident said he refused to let the association workers remove his plant table and doormat out of protest.
David Carr said: “What the association is doing is absurd and so unjust.
“I am prepared to be arrested and even go to prison to stop them from taking my doormat and plant table.
“I have lived here 38 years and so many people compliment me on my plant table and how it makes the landing area so nice and homely.
“I feel this is unwarranted harassment of people who are trying to keep their homes nice.”
So there! Health and safety be damned!
The 75-year-old added: “Of course I do not want our flats to be dangerous in any way but this is just over the top. “When the South Essex Homes worker came to take my items I told them I would be prepared to stop them and they knew I meant it.”
I bet they were terrified!
A spokesman for South Essex Homes said: “We understand this may appear stern, however the safety of residents is always paramount.”
Hmmm, sure, I'm convinced.

Not That Bright Or Intelligent Then....

An immigration source told the Times that the woman’s family said (she) was ‘a bright, intelligent woman with a PhD who wanted to start a new life’.
...or she'd have applied the legal way, rather than try to get in illegally.

Tuesday, 20 August 2019

Surrogate Families Like The Mansons?


How on earth can anyone be so thick?


Ah. Say no more...

H/T: MarcherLord via Twitter

When Did He Find The Time For Coppering?

Ruston pays child support for three children from his failed marriage and also provides for a child he has fathered with a new partner as well as her four children, Mr Doble added.
Which is his excuse for failing an integrity test. And, as the judge pointed out:
"The circumstances of this case are an undercover police officer gave you lost property and he did so to test your integrity. And they don't do it randomly."
Quite!

Monday, 19 August 2019

I Guess 'Promising Footballer' Isn't A Cliche After All...

One resident, 50, told the Sun Online: 'I saw the body on the door path. People said it was two or three boys who attacked him.
'He tried to knock the door, saying, 'Help me'. People were scared, that is why nobody opened.'
Mr Smith had played youth football for Southampton but had 'gone off the rails' after he was released from the club, according to friends.
*rolls eyes*
The victim was the 15th teenager to be murdered in London this year - 14 of whom have been fatally stabbed, and the 75th teenager to be killed in the capital since Sadiq Khan was elected Mayor just three years ago.
#Khanage
Tourists staying at the four-star Melia White House Hotel, just yards from the scene, told of their shock. Jose Blanco, 20, a student from the Dominican Republic who is staying at the hotel with his family, said: 'I had heard about rising crime in London on the news, but I didn't expect someone to be killed next to my hotel.'
Nei Barbosa, 48, from Paraná in Brazil, is staying at the hotel on his first visit to London with his partner Carla. He said: 'We thought that London was extremely safe. I can't believe someone was killed just outside our hotel. We will definitely be very careful for the rest of our stay.'
When people from Dominica and Brazil say they feel unsafe, you know something's not right!
A construction manager, 52, who was working in Regent's Place opposite the hotel, said: 'Come on Boris, sort it out! We have been too weak for too long.
'I say bring it on to stop and search. People say it's racist, but if you are not carrying anything you've got nothing to worry about.'
A logistics worker, 24, delivering drinks to the hotel, said: 'It's sad. It's just kids killing kids. They don't think about how it will affect their families.
'Look around you: there's a Lamborghini right there, with a nice hotel and fancy apartments next to it. A boy was stabbed nearby.
'It's symbolic. Kids don't want to work these days. They listen to songs and want to get rich quick by doing terrible things.'
Time Priti Patel listened to these people, and not the excusers on the Left.

They Demand 'Respect'...

...but they never show any:
The unauthorised encampment of van dwellers has sparked public outrage after taking up residence at the Lawn Memorial Cemetery in Warren Road, Woodingdean.
The group of nine caravans arrived at the 37-acre lawn memorial, which has specialist areas set aside for Muslims, Quakers and other denominations, on Saturday afternoon.
They had been moved on from Stanmer Park.
It's about time the police followed them out of the county, to make sure they leave. And if the police from the neighbouring county pick up the trail and do the same, maybe they'll finally get the message...
"I was told they were being moved on yesterday but they’re still there today, riding their quad bikes in and around a cemetery - one that my dad is buried in. Absolutely vile."
Of course they are. Just as the police are ineffective:
Police have attended the site but nine caravans remain.
*sighs*

Saturday, 17 August 2019

And After That, Talking To Your Passengers..?

Tougher restrictions on drivers using mobile phones, including extending the ban to hands-free devices, should be considered, MPs have said. The transport select committee said using any type of mobile phone while driving had potentially catastrophic consequences.
Although it acknowledged there would be practical challenges, it recommended that the government launch a public consultation on criminalising the use of hands-free devices by drivers.
But people are still driving around using mobiles in a non-hands free manner with impunity. I see one or two every day, if not more.

And why? Because there's no enforcement.
Motoring organisations the RAC and the AA backed calls for a review and said enforcement was a crucial factor.
Exactly!
Edmund King, the AA president, said: “Offenders think the chance of being caught is minimal. Following a reduction of specialist traffic officers by a third, a good deterrent would be to have more cops in cars targeting those tempted to pick up the phone.”
Only one problem: how are they going to report their arrest? They'll have to pull over, because what's the difference between a hands-free mobile, and a radio?

The Consequence Of Illegal Actions

Mr Connors was struck on the A2016 Eastern Way dual carriageway last July while racing his cart.
Carts can be used on highways in the UK so long as the driver complies with the Department for Transport’s Code of Practice for Horse-Drawn Vehicles, reports the Highway Code.
However cart racing is illegal and not allowed on UK roads.
A spokesperson for the Met police told MailOnline: 'Racing, in a cart or car, is not an acceptable way to travel.'
No, it isn't. Why don't you enforce it, then? You know it happens. You know who does it. You know now what the consequences of tiptoeing around these 'people' can be, after all.
Mr Budd was ordered to complete two 18 month long community orders requiring him to complete 300 hours of unpaid work for causing death by dangerous driving and 100 hours for damaging property, in respect to the horse.
Both are to run at the same time. He was also disqualified from driving for two years.
Personally, I think the ratio of those points is the wrong way round. The horse was worth more, in every sense of the word.

Friday, 16 August 2019

They Never Stop...


You thought they'd give up at plastic shopping bags? Where have you been...?
High-street stores and online retailers hand out hundreds of millions of hangers every year – even though the overwhelming majority cannot be recycled and around half of them end up in landfill or the ocean.
And, of course, the answer is to soak the public. Again.
There is growing support for a war on plastic hangers, with politicians, campaign groups and even the hanger industry itself demanding a compulsory 5p charge, similar to the successful levy on plastic bags. The hanger mountain has been described as a scandal ‘hidden in plain sight’.
The real scandal is how we are allowing ourselves to be driven into bankruptcy by green campaigners...

Common Elements...

Decent, hardworking victim:
Mr Duncan's family said in a statement: 'Peter was a kind and caring man who was always first to help others.
'He was a devoted father, husband, son, brother, uncle and friend and loved by all who knew him. His death will leave such a huge hole in our lives.'
Utter scum waste of oxygen perps:
Stephen Humphries, 34, a waiter, added: 'There was a group of people around the guy on the floor, clutching his chest. There was a group of young lads running around shouting, they did not seem too bothered.
'The young lads were swearing and saying 'he was going to get it' and 'it was coming to him'.'
Ineffective revolving door criminal justice system:
Chief Superintendent Ged Noble said the inquiry into Mr Duncan's death is at an early stage but said it appears he was attacked at the entrance to the shopping centre.
He added: 'We have very quickly made seven arrests. The persons involved are known to us.'
This latest murder is a microcosm of modern UK life, isn't it?

Thursday, 15 August 2019

It's Noticeable That This Doesn't Happen At Every Type Of Music Festival...

A trio of councillors have blasted the processes that led to four men being stabbed at a music festival in Morden over the weekend.
 Unusually for Lib Dems, they aren't blaming 'poverty', 'Tory underinvestment' or 'policing failures'...
“The festival was only approved after organisers gave assurances about the security measures in place. Clearly something went seriously wrong.
“As an immediate step, the Liberal Democrat group has written to the Council to call for a formal review of security arrangements at the festival. We will also be pushing to ensure that councillors are kept fully briefed at every stage of the review, so that we can keep residents informed and ensure that their concerns are adequately addressed.
“I hope that any review can consider whether knife arches or further weapons searches could be used at future events of this type.
“When I speak to local people on the doorstep, crime comes up repeatedly as a real concern. Residents deserve to be able to feel safe in this area, and that is why preserving a proper local police presence is a priority for me and my fellow Liberal Democrat councillors.”
Makes a change, You're usually tying their hands so they can't do anything about yobbery!
Cannon Hill Councillor Nick McLean as well as Dundonald's David Dean think that the event should no longer be held at Morden Park altogether.
“Merton’s parks are there for everyone to enjoy," Cllr Dean said. "It was very clear from last year’s event that residents were aggrieved with the noise, litter, loss of parkland, overcrowding in Morden, drugs and apparent lawlessness. It appears that this year’s event has surpassed the previous one in its anti social behaviour and has added violence to its litany of complaints.
"Merton Council should not have entertained another year of aggro. It’s time to say goodbye to this unpopular pastime.”
Excellent! Finally, standing up for decency! What a refreshing change.

Now, about that Notting Hill Carnival...