Thursday, 24 May 2018

Would They Complain About Gravity Too..?

...or is it just Darwinism they'd object to?
Teenagers diced with death by grabbing onto the back of a bus and riding it along a busy road. The incident happened on Wednesday afternoon and it was captured on a driver’s dash cam as the teens hitched a ride up Crown Hill in Rayleigh.
The witness said: “The whole way up the road, they were jumping on the back of the bus and trying to climb on the roof while it was in traffic.
“I could see the funny side of it, but being in the car behind it was dangerous and the parents would be soon complaining if they did get hurt.”
Gosh, would they really?
Rayleigh councillor Jamie Burton said he hopes it is a one off and that parents and schools should address how dangerous this is with their children.
You have a rosy-tinted view of the efficacy of Essex parents and Essex schools, Mr Burton...

Low Hanging Fruit Again....

...and a salient reminder to always, always record any encounter with them, no matter how initially harmless it may seem.
Because you can no longer trust the 'Great British Bobby'. If you want to know the time, get a watch.

And is anyone as tired as I am of seeing this sort of thing, when compared to the rank cowardice they show when the target might put up a fight?


They can't even get their own stories straight, A pox on them all.

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Rama-Dan-a-Ding-Dong!


Note that 'must do' is the headline, and only in the subheading is it clearly not mandatory...
To support employees who are observing Ramadan, Peninsula Employment Law director Alan Price has provided some key tips for employers.
Oh boy. *girds loins*
Fasting during sunlight hours will have a different effect on each individual, although the likely impact will be to lower productivity levels of employees, especially towards the end of the day.
Managers should be understanding of this and take practical steps to reduce the effect, such as scheduling important meetings early in the day or allowing employees to have a period of rest when they are showing fatigue.
Great! Siestas for all! I mean, who wouldn't want to emulate the economic powerhouses that are Spain and Mexico?
As daylight hours increase, observing Muslims will be required to start their day earlier than normal to eat a meal in the early hours, before sunrise. This can lead to a substantial gap before the working day starts and the employee is likely to be detrimentally affected by a long working day. Where possible, offering flexible working hours during Ramadan, such as starting earlier, will help the employee as they will be at work during the hours they have the most energy. Additionally, it will allow them to finish work earlier and avoid strenuous mental or physical activity during the later hours of the day.
Fine. But that also applies to people who are naturally early birds, doesn't it?

And what if a business's main work is done early morning? Should they hire more staff because their current ones aren't feeling up to it?
Flexibility around the employee’s duties can also be considered. For example, requiring them to attend a client lunch while fasting may not be appropriate. Instead, consider whether the location of the meeting can be amended or agree that food will not be served.
So you'll inconvenience Joe, Susan, Parvin, Vilkas and Yoshi so as not to upset Mohammad?
Employees who observe Ramadan may submit requests to take a substantial amount of holiday over the month.
And who'll do the work, if there's a holiday rota and everyone else booked theirs first?
Colleagues are often an employee’s greatest support at work. Fasting and fatigue during Ramadan can affect the employee’s personality, however, by making them short-tempered or irritable. To increase understanding across the workforce, employers can provide employees with general information on Ramadan, the religious requirements and how this may affect fellow members of staff.
"Sorry you got a punch on the nose, Bob, but you see, it's not a disciplinary matter, because it's Ramadan'. "
Simple steps like suspending cake mornings for a month can also help employees feel more comfortable.
Not the ones who like cake, it won't!


 From my cold dead hands, chum!

You know, I think I liked Alan Price better when he was warbling about his dancing bear...

H/T: SackTheJudge via Twitter

Well, He's Probably Better Behaved Than The Children....

A primary school has welcomed a four-legged friend onto its register - in the form chocolate Labrador George.
Research has shown the benefits of having therapy dogs in schools.
Well, I guess it depends on who trains them!
Head Nicola Nelson said: "To bring him into school we have conducted a full risk assessment and made sure parents were fully informed well in advance so they had the opportunity to tell us about any allergies or phobias children may have.
"The news of the school dog was very positively received and the children were very excited about him starting. We already have a long list of children who would like to take him out for walks.
"We are hope that George will provide our children with a sense of responsibility, whilst also helping to improve emotional wellbeing - for staff too."
You couldn't make it up....

One hopes some thought has been given to the poor animal's future welfare.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Outrage Bus Stalls At First Corner....

An over officious traffic warden has been slammed on social media after slapping a parking ticket on a fire engine.
What? WHAT?! Is he a moron? Couldn't he see the building on fire and the men standing there with their hoses in their hands?!

Well, no. Understandably so.
It was parked outside Kings Leisure Centre in Moat Road, East Grinstead, on double yellow lines because the crew thought as an emergency service they were entitled to park there.
But only police vehicles are entitled to do so unless it is an emergency.
The on-duty crew were using facilities at the gym as East Grinstead Fire Station’s fitness area is undergoing renovation.
That paints a rather different picture, doesn't it? But the outrage works.
Mid Sussex District Council and WSFRS have now resolved the issue and the fine was withdrawn yesterday.
See?

And This Nonsense Is Why We Have A 'Youth' Problem...

An officer who strip searched a teenager three times in a fortnight has had his appeal against his punishment quashed.
Two Essex Police officers were reprimanded during misconduct proceedings which heard the youth was stopped four times in Southend.
On three occasions he was strip searched without an appropriate adult being present.
I wonder just what 'appropriate' might mean in this situation. Someone from a zoo?
The report from the IOPC revealed officers believed the teen, referred to as Boy R, was connected to the notorious Bush Boys gang and was carrying drugs.
They weren't strip searching him for fun, were they?
On August 17, the boy was strip searched in the back of an unmarked police van and officers found a small quantity of cannabis.
Boy R then swallowed the cannabis and was taken to hospital where he was handcuffed for five hours.
/facepalm

Monday, 21 May 2018

Beg To Differ, Your Honour!

Inquiries found the dog belonged to Suleman Halane, 22, from Hartlepool, and on the day of trial at Teesside Magistrates’ Court he admitted being the owner of a dog dangerously out of control.
He was banned from keeping animals for five years, given a 12-week curfew, a 12-month community order and ordered to pay £620 costs from his benefits.
Yes, it's that case.
Halane, who came to Hartlepool after being homeless in London, intended to breed from this dog and another Caucasian Shepherd called General, the court was told.
That dog has been taken in by the RSPCA but must also be put down due to its demeanour, the court heard.
Jesus wept, who'd buy animals like these?
The judge said the authorities ‘cannot be blamed in the least’ for how the case was handled.
Really?

Maybe the police can't, as I suspect they'd have been shooting this thing sooner or later.

But I think the DWP, HMRC & Home Office might be asked how a 22 year old man on benefits can afford to buy and keep two ferocious animals with the intention of turning them into a production line of ferocious animals for sale to....someone who needs ferocious animals.
Halane was said to come from a “troubled background” of gang culture in London but “kept away from it” and abstains from drugs and alcohol.
Probation added he was “extremely ashamed of himself and knows he shouldn’t have done it.”
John Relton, defending, said that Halane, of Baden Street, Hartlepool, had been the subject of some disdain in his local community for what he did.
Which 'local community'..?

A Perfect Storm...

Anne Ball, from West Moors, said the man riding the bike did not check to see if she was okay and left her “screaming in pain”.
A cyclist, you say...?
Cycling is not allowed on the main path in the gardens, Bournemouth council said.
Ignoring the rules, you say...?
The cyclist had a dog on a long lead attached to the bike and, as they approached Anne from behind, they passed either side of her.
She became entangled in the dog’s lead and was tripped up, landing “face down on the tarmac”.
With a dog, you say...?
She told the Echo it was only thanks to some “kind passers-by” that an ambulance was called for her.
“Although the man fell off his bike, he got up and pedalled off, leaving me on the ground with a broken ankle,” she said.
 If he's a vegan as well, this will be the perfect storm...
Anne said she had reported Wednesday’s incident to both the police and the council who told her that CCTV in the Lower Gardens would be reviewed.
Ah. Well, they aren't likely to catch him, then. When does this ever work?

Saturday, 19 May 2018

The Wisdom Of A Dick....

Scotland Yard chief Cressida Dick has today called on social media giants to remove so called 'Drill' music videos that she says 'glamourises' violent crime.
Oh..?
Ms Dick, Britain's most senior police officer, said that drill music has 'lyrics which glamourise violence, serious violence, murder, stabbings.'
 Hmmm, really? Is that unusual?
"At break of day when that man drove away I was waiting 
I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door 
She stood there laughing 
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more"
Well! Will you be demanding YouTube removes all Tom Jones material? If not, what's the difference?
'I am working closely with social media companies to work out what they can do about this.'
Don't they have people who can tell them that? People who are, frankly, better educated in the law than you appear to be?
'For us, if its against the law, it's against the law and it ought to be taken down.'
Really? Interesting viewpoint. Where is it hosted? Is it against the law in that country? If not, well, it doesn't matter what you think, does it?
'We are constantly responding to these things. Very often we get out there and try and search the people involved.
'But we need evidence to get these people locked up. What they say on the video may not be sufficient for a criminal charge.'
So it's not against the law after all? Jesus, woman, what sort of wooly-minded bollocks is this, for London's so-called 'top cop'. Are you good for anything?
Asked by a caller if cuts to policing were to blame for the spike in violent crime, Ms Dick said: 'We are definitely seeing an increase and I think there's lots of reasons for it.
'There's a connection ... to the drugs markets and what's going on with those, undoubtedly.
'Obviously, some changes in people's financial and economic circumstances that affect all kinds of things which have a direct or indirect effect on young people.'
Ah. I see you are. Good for pushing sub-Marxist Common Purpose soundbites about how 'poverty causes violence'...

I Guess This Is 'All Part Of Living In A Diverse City' Too, Eh, Mayor Khan...?

A teenager was "kept as a prisoner" in Swansea and forced to hide Class A drugs, including inside her body, after being lured there by London drug dealers, a court has heard.
The 19-year-old told police that she cried every day after arriving in the South Wales city and realising that the men who were holding her would not let her leave.
The men? Yeah, you guessed it:
On Friday Mahad Yusuf, 21, and Fesal Mahamud, 20, were handed nine- and 10-year sentences, respectively, at Swansea Crown Court, for their roles in trafficking the woman and for conspiracy to supply heroin and cocaine as part of a so-called county line operation.
And why Swansea?
Ms Rees said the operation, run by the Enfield-based DA (Dem Africans) gang, involved the supply of Class A drugs into "provincial areas" through a process called "cuckooing".
She said the leading members were based in London while operatives were sent to areas such as Swansea to live in the houses of "vulnerable" drug users, who were at risk of exploitation.
Wheel out the usual excuses!
Neil Baki, defending Mahamud, said his client was "ashamed" of his actions.
Really?
Barry Smith, for Yusuf, said his client had little understanding of the scale of the operation and was not involved in sending out the bulk text messages. He said Yusuf was "young and immature" and had shown "genuine" remorse.
Don't they always?
Yusuf was jailed for six years and four months for the drugs offences and two years, eight months for trafficking, a total of nine years.
Mahamud was sentenced to six years and nine months in a young offenders institution (YOI) for the drugs offences and one year three months for the trafficking.
Anyone want to guess what they'll actually serve?

Friday, 18 May 2018

"What is the future of the country with school kids that behave like this."

We look to London, with all its stabbings and shooting, and we can see that, can't we?
Police in Wimbledon can now forcibly remove kids as old as 16 from the town centre following reports of fighting between "rival" schools.
A school dispersal zone was put into place this afternoon (April 25) due to a "rise in youth violence between children from a collection of local schools."
Hmmmm, I wonder what the demographic is here? I wonder if it's the same one that causes daily havoc on the c2c commute?

How can we find out? Well, we could look at the comments:


Ah. The fact some bleeding heart SJW has to leap in and start blathering about 'capitalism' and 'foreign wars' tells you a lot of what you need to know.

As does the immediate bleating about why the behaviour of these feral animals should be excused...

A Real Shaggy Dog Story...

Harry - a banned breed of pit bull - was picked up by a dog warden last August and kept in kennels while his owners lodged an appeal with Sevenoaks Magistrates Court.
Couple Beth Golding and Jake Myers claimed their dog was a gentle animal who had been left stressed by his experience but the court heard he was a banned breed and the onus was on them to prove he was not dangerous.
Which task they were up to, right?

Reader, they were not....
The court heard how Harry the dog, who lived with Miss Golding in a three bedroom maisonette in Cheshire, had been staying with her partner's brother while the family went on holiday last summer.
Representing Miss Golding, Alison Morgan said there was a suggestion the animal had been sold but it was unclear how he ended up in Kent.
As murky as a chav's job prospects!
Miss Golding, 22, said her dog had never posed a risk to her two young children, age one and two and while at home had been obedient and loving.
She said she had owned Harry from the age of four weeks but had bought him believing him to be a Staffordshire bull terrier, a legal breed of dog.
She said since being told Harry was a pit bull after he was picked up last summer she had adapted her home putting up six feet fences around the property and child gates in every room.
She must have a really well paying job, eh?
Kent Police dog handler, Tracy Cook said she visited Harry at kennels at a secret location in the county last October where she assessed him to be "too much for a dog handler to handle"
She said despite the presence of two leads he had nearly pulled over her colleague, PC Nigel Marshall and had a "highly driven prey drive" with "endless resiliance."
Translation: The usual chavdog nightmare threatening everything in its path while the owner is absorbed in Facebook on their mobile...
...dog behaviourist, Nickola Engel said she did not consider the dog "presented a risk to anyone" and claimed his anxious behaviour and pulling on the lead could be attributed to the two months he had spent in kennels.
You really can pay any 'expert' to say anything you need them to in court, can't you?
But under questioning she admitted the dog had broken its lead in an attempt to get to some geese, pulling her over during a visit two days before that of the police assessment.
Oops!
...chairman of the magistrates bench, Anne Lightbody said they could not be sure the dog did not continue to pose a risk to public safety and therefore ordered him to be destroyed.
Thank god! Could the vet do the necessary on the useless mouthbreathing owners too?

Thursday, 17 May 2018

"All Must Have Prizes Ice Lollies!"

A mother of four has accused Hextable Primary School of running a “bullying campaign” against...
It's usually the Education Secretary, isn't it?
...children who have low attendance.
Oh. Well, what's the probl...

Ah. Right.
Rachel Gregory, 46, has a nine-year-old daughter in Year Four at the school, in Rowhill Road. On Friday, April 20, Ms Gregory says her daughter was rounded up with children considered to have poor attendance and “segregated” from other pupils.
She told News Shopper that, at temperatures of 27C, the children with good attendance were treated to ice lollies, allowed to watch a one hour film and given toys to play with.
Meanwhile, the children with poor attendance were denied lollies, given maths board games and were offered limited toys to play with.
Oh noes! The horror, the horror...
Ms Gregory also said her daughter was very upset after she had to watch her classmates – and teachers – eat ice lollies in front of her, while she was not allowed to have one.
“I literally had to drag her into school screaming and crying on Monday,” she said.
At least you've learned that that's what your job as a parent is, to make sure the delicate little flower actually attends the place!
She added that, although she understands attendance is important, she believes the incentive scheme needs “proper guidelines and proper management.”
“What scares me is where this will go in the future,” she told News Shopper.
Oh, haven't you heard, Ms Gregory? Next term, the children with poor attendance will be rounded up, given a 10 minute head start, then the hounds will be released...

Another 'Benefit' Of The EU....

A rise in the number of dogs reported to the RSPCA with cropped ears has sent shockwaves to British animal lovers over the return of the sick procedure. The RSPCA described the procedure, which was made illegal ten years ago, as mutilation carried out purely for cosmetic reasons. The animal welfare group has urged potential dog owners to avoid importing dogs or buying the animals from breeders if they use the painful ear cropping.
 The 'importing dogs' is the clue here. Because although we made it illegal, continental Europe didn't.
Although cropping, which forces dogs ears to grow upwards, is unnecessary, the RSPCA has reported a dramatic 157 percent surge in cases in the past two years.
 Wow!
Although ear cropping was made illegal in England and Wales in 2007, some owners bypass the laws by importing dogs which have already been cropped. One company describing itself as the largest provider of cropped Dobermans in the UK charges between £2,000 and £3,000 for an imported puppy.
The sooner we are out of this corrupt organisation, the better.

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Happy Families, Burnley Style...

A woman sank her teeth into her mother’s arm and “latched on” while she punched her mum about the head.
Blackburn magistrates heard Bethany Wallace only released her grip when her mum’s partner slapped her across the face.
I hear there's a technique you're supposed to use with fighting dogs, to get them to release.

But looking at the pictures, I suspect Bethany might consider that foreplay.
He had already been assaulted by Bethany’s brother, Bradley Wallace, and was then hit over the head with a walking stick by her.
His own? Or someone else's?
Phillip Turner, defending Bradley Wallace, said Mrs Wallace and her partner had been out and bought some takeaway food on their way home.
Mr Coughlan went into their house but Mrs Wallace went next door to invite their neighbour round.
“Bradley had been invited by his mum to join them,” said Mr Turner.
“Mr Coughlan told him he wasn’t allowed in and an argument started. Bethany arrived and joined in and then Mrs Wallace became involved.”
He said Bradley Wallace accepted he punched Mr Coughlan because he thought he had assaulted his sister.
So very different from the home life of our own dear Queen, eh, reader?

Well, There's Always A First Time....

Thanet Councillor Suzanne Brimm faces three charges related to Freedom of Information requests for details about a dog DNA scheme including getting rid of records so that they could not be disclosed.
It is believed to be the first time that anyone has been charged under section 77 of the Freedom of Information Act.
 One to watch!
Cllr Brimm, who previously who held a Cabinet post in the council as a UKIP member before quitting the group to become Independent, has denied the charges and will go on trial at Folkestone Magistrates’ Court on September 3.
 And what about that scheme? Well....
Thanet's dog DNA scheme used high-tech testing to try and work out which owners had failed to pick up after their dogs as part of a zero tolerance approach.
The scheme was launched last July but later abandoned.
 Yeah, there's a lot of that going around....
The charges allege that she blocked, concealed or destroyed records held by Thanet council “with the intention of preventing the disclosure by TDC of information” in response to FOI requests between July 31, 2017, and September 2 and 5, 2017.
A further charge says that between her election on May 7, 2015 -and February 9, 2018, Cllr Brimm “being a data controller, processed personal data without having entry in the register maintained by the Information Commissioner.”
The Campaign for Freedom of Information said that this there (sic) has "never been a s77 FOI prosecution before."
It's going to be interesting to see what the real issue is here, isn't it?

Tuesday, 15 May 2018

What Is The Penalty For Giving False Information To The Public...?

“The owner was standing right next to us and he didn’t do anything and when I asked him to put the dog on a lead or a mussel (sic) he just started laughing,” he said.
 A fairly typical reaction.
The police were called to the park and Mr Turner was given first aid and taken to the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead.
 And they arrested the owner, yes?

Oh, silly me.
A police spokesman said: “On Sunday at around 8.15am it was reported a man was bitten after trying to separate two dogs fighting in Greatness Park, Sevenoaks.
“It is alleged an alteration (sic) then took place involving one of the dog owners and another man. Police attended the scene and carried out enquiries.
No injuries were reported as a result of the altercation and no arrests have been made.”
Now, it doesn't take a genius to spot the obvious flaw in this statement, does it?


Lazy policing is sadly to be expected. This is a different sort of policing. What should we call it?


Ah, yes.

The 'Wrong Situation' Being The Dock. Or The Mortuary.

A beautician who hanged out with gang members (sic) as a teenager wants to open a youth club to rebuild a community reeling from the fatal stabbing of 18-year-old Lyndon Davis.
There's that word again, 'community'. I know the area. It's no longer a community. It used to be, once...
Leigh Harris was at home in Reynolds Court, Marks Gate, when she heard police on nearby Padnall Road not far from where Mr Davis was found with a stab injury on March 14.
Days later Miss Harris joined shocked neighbours at a meeting to discuss a spate of violence where she surprised herself by standing up and speaking out about her fears for the community she grew up in.
“There was talk of more police and CCTV, but not much said about how to change the way people live,” Miss Harris said.
Because that's not within the purview of the state. Unlike police and CCTV.
She said she wanted to bring young people’s respect for older people and older people’s respect for young people back.
“I can understand why young people are driven to crime. They come from broken homes. They have all this built up anger. I don’t want them to go down a bad path. Not all kids mixed up in crime are bad, they are just in the wrong situation,” she said.
Ah. Another dim bulb. Just what this 'community' needs.

Monday, 14 May 2018

Ah, Wonderful, Enriching Diversity!

The Old Bailey heard that the 16-year-old victim and friends were in Plashet Road the afternoon of October 12 when a Mercedes containing Miah and his stepson, Yasin Patel, pulled up near them.
As the group scrambled in different directions, Patel chased down and stabbed the 16-year-old multiple times in his left leg and chest, Miah joining in the attack while he was on the ground.
Meanwhile Islam, of Fowler Road, Forest Gate, was having his hair cut in a nearby barber shop. Grabbing a baseball bat from the boot of his car, he approached Miah from behind and struck on the back of his head, fracturing his skull. He then hit him again after he fell to the floor. Islam drove away from the scene but returned to the barbers a short time later — while police and paramedics tended to the injured boy.
Just a normal day in Forest Gate, nothing to see here....
Investigating the attack, Detectives from the Met’s Homicide and Major Crime Command uncovered CCTV footage of Islam arriving in his BMW and visiting the barbers before the brawl.
After detectives tracked down the BMW, Islam’s solicitor contacted police the following day to say Islam would hand himself in. The next day, October 23, Islam was arrested and charged.
The story behind this should be interesting, shouldn't it?
“It appears that Islam was not involved in the initial fight which Titu was a part of, but he took it upon himself to casually arm himself with a baseball bat and carry out an alarming, sudden attack on Titu which resulted in a critical head injury from which he could not recover,” said Det Sgt Perry Benton, who led the investigation.
“Patel was identified as the person who stabbed the 16-year-old victim who fortunately did not suffer serious, lasting injury. The motive for this attack is unclear, although we believe it may have been due to a disagreement between Patel and a relative of the victim.
“This was a despicable show of violence in broad daylight on a residential street which resulted in a man dead and a young victim stabbed, and two people now facing long jail terms for their part in this incident.”
Import the tribal Third World, import Third World tribal attitudes and social mores.

Well, Aren't They Always?

Ms Hesse said Traynor was initially interviewed and accepted it was her dog but said she had given it away and did not have details for the new owner.
On a second interview in February, she said the dog had escaped after her daughter opened her door while she was out. She also admitted she had given the dog to a friend and admitted trying to hide it from the police but was not against having it destroyed.
If you can find it.
Paul Donoghue, defending, said the single mother, of Castledene Road, Delves Lane, Consett, had never had any problems with the dog but had pleaded guilty at the first opportunity.
I though single mothers were all on the poverty line. Was she fattening the dog to provide future meals?
He said his client was on benefits.
Imagine my shocked face. Go on. You can if you try.
Magistrate Aileen Little, said the bench had decided to adjourn the case so a probation report could be prepared and the new owner could be contacted as they had to decide on whether to destroy the dog.
Why? I mean, even if there is a real 'new owner' why should it be up to them?

Saturday, 12 May 2018

There's A Time Limit On Pathetic Excuses? Who Knew?

Mark Heffernan, 41, was parked in Pitchcroft car park near Worcester Police Station after a night out and told officers he was sleeping to avoid driving home drunk.
The former army serviceman, who now delivers palliative care equipment and medication to relieve the suffering of terminal patients, was allowed to keep his licence when appearing before magistrates on Thursday.
He must have had an amazing story!
Mrs Sue Roberts, chair of the bench, said: “Exceptional hardship would be caused to the patients under your care if you were to lose your employment.”
Right. Because it's not like they could employ anyone else to do it?
Lesley Ashton, prosecuting, said the defendant was found in his car at 5.40am on March 30 by officers.
She said Heffernan initially refused to give his name and date of birth and claimed he was asleep, before providing a positive breath sample.
Hmmmm....
“He did not understand what the issue was. He was just ignorant of the law,” said Mr McQuian.
And that's no excuse, surely?
Mr McQuian said Heffernan visits his three daughters from a previous relationship in Teesside each weekend, with a driving ban meaning he would be unable to see them.
He can't take a train?
He said he also has a two-year-old child with his current partner, who he drives to his grandmother’s house each day, before work.
He can't take a cab?
Mr McQuian argued that his client, who has learning difficulties, had made good progress in getting a handle on his PTSD...
He's looking more and more like a liability, rather than a model employee!
Heffernan’s licence was endorsed with 10 points, already carrying three, and he was ordered to pay a total of £426 in fines and costs. Mrs Roberts added: “You cannot use the same excuse for another three years.”
Bet he's back in three years time using it!

Good lord, who knew all you needed to become a magistrate was to be a living brain donor?

Maybe The Doctor Who Gave Him The Advice Should Be Investigated?

Chef Joshua Jake Duxbury, 21, died as he was travelling from his home in Blackburn on the A59 to Harrogate to work at his mother’s Route 59 cafe at about 8.25am on October 8, 2016.
A witness statement from a lorry driver who was overtaken by former Witton Park Academy pupil Mr Duxbury a few minutes before the collision put his speed then at “up to 100mph.”
Which made the crash obviously survivable. As did something else:
A toxicology report had indicated there was cannabis in the rider’s bloodstream, said senior coroner Rob Turnbull at the inquest in Skipton.
You'd think that would be a source of shame for the family, but they have a rather unique excuse:
Mr Duxbury’s mother Audrey Duxbury told the inquest that her son had ridden motorcycles since the age of seven and was very experienced.
He was first taught by Andy Bradley, who runs Rocket Centre Motorcycle Training at the Trident Centre in Blackburn.
He had been using cannabis on medical advice to deal with sleeplessness and severe night terrors, she said.
Can someone please track down the 'doctor' that suggested an illegal drug as a remedy? No?

I guess they don't exist, then.
Coroner Mr Turnbull said that it seemed death had been instantaneous, and added: “He did not slow down. Why we don’t know. It is a very sad loss.”
And also a miracle the selfish little druggie didn't take any innocent person with him...

Friday, 11 May 2018

Local Council Planning Department Speed: Slothlike...

...when faced with a certain demographic, anyway:
Residents are growing concerned after a group of travellers have set up site on green belt land in a village.
A planning application to allow caravans to pitch up on the site has been submitted to Rochford District Council to make the site off Pudsey Hall Lane, in Canewdon, permanent.
They are already starting to lay down hardstanding which is used to park their vehicles and caravans on, even though the application is yet to be approved by the council.
Well, of course they are. They know full well that no-one will do a thing.
The resident said: “They just don’t seem to care that the land is green belt.
“And Rochford District Council aren’t doing a single thing about it.” He continued: “It’s very intimidating and they clearly just seem to be doing what they like.
Something needs to be done.”
Over to the council.
A spokesman for Rochford District Council confirmed that the land was designated green belt and added: “The travellers arrived over the bank holiday weekend.
“The travellers own the land and have submitted a change of use application to the council.
“The planning application is currently invalid as it requires additional information.
“It will not be validated and accessible on the planning portal until officers receive the relevant missing information.”
It doesn't really matter whether it'll be validated, does it?

They Never Look Like They Miss Any Meals Themselves, Do They?

Sandra Mullen, 56, and her daughter Julie Mullen, 26, each admitted a charge of animal cruelty. They were both ordered to serve 150 hours community service.
It's a constant of these cases - black or white, male or female, they are always, always, absolute porkers...
A vet who carried out a post mortem on the dogs noted they were both severely underweight, and had died "painful and miserable" deaths.
The judge told the women they were both "utterly unfit" to look after animals due to "wilful neglect".
They should be thrown into a cell with narrow bars, and told their release is dependent on them being able to fit through those bars...

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Looking A Gift Horse In The Mouth, And Demanding A Unicorn

A former rough sleeper claims he lived off takeaways after moving into a property without a cooker last year.
Mathew Hatch-Diespecker, aged 29, said Fortis Living failed to refit his kitchen. He claims that left him with a shoddy kitchen with a layout that doesn't allow him to install both a cooker and a washing machine.
He says he ate fast-food for five months until he managed to install a cooker, and is still living without a washing machine.
You used to live on the streets. Isn't this better? I'm pretty sure you didn't have a cooker and a washing machine next to your park bench either!
Mr Hatch-Diespecker, of Rodborough Drive, Worcester, said: "It's making me feel down about everything.
"The kitchen is meant to be the heart of the home and if the heart is not working properly how's the rest of the body meant to work properly.
"When I moved in a year ago I was told I was due to have a few things updated in my house. None of it has been done to date.
"They said the kitchen was meant to be fitted up-to-date within two months of me moving in.
"I am frustrated that they have failed to provide the correct layout as it means I am unable to have both a cooker and a washing machine."
The sheer ingratitude is enough to make you weep. Or kick something.
He added: "Before I got the cooker in I had to get food every day, it was costing me money and it was an inconvenience. I had to pretty much live off takeaways."
Luckily, Mr Hatch-Diespecker was able to get a cooker from his father, who lives in Thailand, in October. However he still has no washing machine.
He said: "My grandmother's currently helping me do washing. She collects it from me.
"If I can't get in touch with her I have to go to the laundrettes in town and it costs me about £2.50 per load. It's too expensive."
What else do you have to spend your money on then? Oh, wait, my mistake. OUR money!
Mr Hatch-Diespecker, who suffers from epilepsy and fibromyalgia, was made homeless in 2013, after suffering a mental breakdown and falling behind on rent. He said his current situation is playing on his mental health.
I'm pretty sure their must be far more deserving cases out there. Perhaps another spell of rough sleeping would adjust his attitude somewhat?

Slow Learners...

West Midlands Police is beefing up its dangerous dog unit in response to a 12 per cent increase in attacks and offences in the last year.
Finally! They can start with their call handlers.

And an eye on the costs, too:
Officers are also taking action to speed up enforcement action to slash the £430,000 a year costs of keeping dogs in kennels before destroying them or sending them back to their owner.
Looks like someone has finally realised what I've been saying for a long time.
The West Midlands Police and Crime Commissioner’s board was also told that while animal cruelty is often seen as a low priority it often an indication of other criminal activity from domestic violence to organised gangs.
 What took them so long?
But offences involving banned fighting dog breeds - including the Japanese Toza, the Pit Bull Terrier - have fallen year on year down from 122 in 2016-17 to 91 last year.
 Why are there still cases? These things were supposed to be eradicated by this law.
Chief Inspector Dawn Miskella said: “Nationally there has been a correlation between organised crime and dangerous dogs offences. We often find we are dealing with dangerous dog type issues when we are dealing with other forms of criminality, for example if we execute a warrant at an address where we’d got drugs intelligence we would often find a certain type of dog at those addresses.”
There's little need for them if you're a law-abiding person, is there?

Wednesday, 9 May 2018

"Pussy Pass? Nyet"

Look who's back in the news....
Alexandra Woolnough, also known as Al Capone, attacked Robert Yeeles with a bottle as he sat drinking in her Brighton home.
The 42-year-old Russian claimed she attacked Mr Yeeles in self defence.
A jury at Hove Crown Court took less than an hour to convict her of the unprovoked attack.
How much less...? Was it 20 minutes?
“Officers came from Worthing believing she was the complainant,” Mr Pottinger said. She told police nothing had happened and they went on their way, he added.
/facepalm
She was jailed for two years and ordered to pay £3,000 in court costs and another £1,000 compensation to Mr Yeeles.
Bet she'll be out in half that.

As Pathetic Excuses Go....

...this one doesn't even make it out of the starting gate.
A grandad-of-six is in hot water with the council after doubling the height of his garden fence to...
Oh, boy! *settles in with ppcorn*
...protect his beloved Jack Russell Terrier from being killed by foxes.
Ha ha ha ha! You're kidding, right? A Jack Russell? The breed used by hunts since time immemorial to go down holes after foxes?
When he got the keys, Mr MacKay said he spoke to a housing manager who he claims gave him the all-clear to make his fence 6ft high.
Didn't get his name, didn't get it in writing...?
However, he has now been told by Hull City Council that he did not have permission to build the fence higher as he shares his garden with neighbours.
Mr MacKay is desperate to maintain the tall barrier so he can keep Snowy safe, as he is convinced foxes will jump into his garden and tear apart his treasured terrier.
I've got news for you - foxes can climb six foot fences with ease.
Snowy, described by his owner as a “soft dog who wouldn’t hurt anybody,” has always lived outside after being nurtured by a farmer who kept him outdoors.
I think he's seen foxes before. And survived. Better think up a better excuse.

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

A Penny For Those Thoughts...



It wasn't just drink, either...
Allan Player, 34, from Thundersley, was driving a black Seat Ibiza when he struck a white Mercedes Sprinter van at about 3am. Mr Player, was treated by paramedics but died at the scene.
Essex Senior Coroner Caroline Beasley-Murray, presiding at Essex Coroners’ Court yesterday heard Mr Player’s car crossed onto the opposite side of the road before crashing with the van.
PC Alan Barlow, from the Essex Police Forensic Collision Unit gave evidence after attending the scene. He said: “Mr Player had 177 milligrams of alcohol per 100ml of blood in his system, while the legal limit is 80, this is twice the legal limit.
“The evidence showed the Mercedes driver was wearing a seat belt however Mr Player was not wearing a seat belt.
And that's not even the end of it!
PC Barlow said: “I went to the scene at about 4.50am and examined the road surface, the conditions and the two vehicles that were involved in the crash.
“Evidence showed Mr Player was driving at about 60mph in a 30mph area and that he lost control of the car before it crashed with the van.
“On the morning of the incident, it was a cold morning and the road surface was wet.”
/facepalm
Mrs Beasley-Murray expressed her condolences to his family and all those who loved him.
Would have been better off thanking providence the selfish chav didn't take any innocent drivers or pedestrians with him.


I think 'the real truth' is pretty self-evident, isn't it?

"It's like banging your head against a wall and this is not a little crime."

Natasha says she contacted West Midlands Police straight after the incident and received a call back the following day.
"Someone rang me and we ended up in an argument as he wasn't bothered about the injuries," she said.
"I'd been attacked by this dog and he was talking about police resources - if this had been a child they might not have survived.
"Then I heard nothing after that and I kept chasing to get updates and then I went to Little Park Street station as it had been over a week.
"I was promised that someone would ring and no phone call came. So I rang them on Friday to ask what's going on and I keep getting passed from pillar to post and that dog is still out on the street."
Funny that they should worry themselves about police resources. They seem to waste enough of them themselves. Sometimes spectacularly.
A spokesman for West Midlands Police said: "We were made aware of a dog attacking another dog and its owner in Radford Road in Coventry just before 9pm on Monday, April 23.
"The attack is believed to have taken place just before 8.30pm that night.
"The 32-year-old woman sustained injuries to her hand and was treated at hospital. Her dog was also injured and required veterinary treatment.
"Enquiries remain on-going and anyone with information is asked to call police on 101, quoting crime reference 20CV/90589W/18."
Yes, I'm sure you're on the case.



Maybe divert some of the resources you expend on monitoring your Twitter account trying to head off the latest PR disaster on to walking a beat instead?

Monday, 7 May 2018

And They Can't Claim Racism..!

Yesterday, a driver who claimed to be asthmatic in order to avoid taking Mr Ahmad and his guide dog Walt, was fined £500, with £500 costs, and ordered to pay £100 compensation to Mr Ahmad at Leicester Magistrates’ Court.
He will also be referred to the city council’s Licensing Enforcement Sub-Committee to decide whether he can keep his Hackney Carriage and private hire vehicle driver’s licence. Refusing to take a guide dog is an offence under the Equality Act 2010.
 Yes, you guessed it.
Driver Mohammed Jauffer, who works for Everest Taxis in Loughborough Road, Leicester, was booked to take Mr Ahmad from the Brew Dog pub in Berridge Street/Friar Lane in the city centre, to the Flamingo Bar on Loughborough Road, on September 15 last year.
Magistrates heard when he arrived to collect Mr Ahmad, Jauffer, 36, of Stockton Road, Northfields, Leicester, refused to take Mr Ahmad’s guide dog, claiming he was asthmatic.
When Mr Ahmad asked the driver if he had the necessary medical exemption certificate, Jauffer, who pleaded guilty to the offence, apologised for not having one and said he was allergic to dogs.
Later that day, 48-year-old Mr Ahmad who was registered totally blind as a young man before going on to have a highly successful career, encountered a similar situation. Mr Ahmad, who joined the GB Paratriathlon squad and set the world record for the fastest Blind Ironman, had taken a taxi from his Oadby home to give one of his inspirational talks to Blaby Beaver Scouts. While there was no problem on the way there, the taxi driver who arrived to take him home - booked through the same company - tried to refuse taking him, saying that he too was allergic to dogs, he said.
 And then of course, it was 'Wait, you're one of us!'...
Mr Ahmad added: “When I threatened to report him, he said "why brother are you going to report me?"
“I pointed out that he was acting unlawfully and that he could lose his licence. He soon changed his mind."
Mr Ahmad said the driver reluctantly opened the tailgate to allow Walt into the car.
This needs to stop. The punishment should be immediate forfeiture of the licence. Obey our laws, or find another way to earn a living.

Well, I Would Get 'Confused' After 10 Pints Too....

The court heard Mr Hassan picked up Kirman, who said he had drunk 10 pints of lager, and his partner from Marchwiel, near Wrexham, after a rock concert. He was forced to drive along country lanes because of a series of road closures.
The court heard this caused Kirman to become aggressive, telling Mr Hassan he would "smash your face in" and banging on the glass separating the driver and passengers. Apollo Taxis told Mr Hassan to drive to Wrexham town centre for safety, where Kirman tried to drag him out of the car.
Lovely!
Defending barrister Neil Usher told the court Kirman had become confused and thought he was being taken off route because he was being kidnapped.
A likely story! Who'd want to kidnap an ordinary bloke?

Oh.

And the partner? Well, you guessed it!
The court heard his partner, Paula Vaughan-Smith, 48, accepted a caution for a public order offence and proceedings against her had been dropped.
She had since lost her administrative job with North Wales Police.
It's clearly not just one rotten apple, is it?
His partner said the driver had been taking them “a silly way” and had been rude to them, and the defendant told two special constables who arrived: “I am Superintendent Rob Kirman but I don’t want to use that.”
Errr, you did, by telling them.
He claimed he told the two specials what had gone on and he thought they realised that “he was not the bad guy”.
Newsflash, sunshine: the general public can no longer see much difference...

H/T: Sobers via comments

Saturday, 5 May 2018

Technically, He's No Longer Driving, Surely?

A driver who ran out of fuel on the A30 near Exeter today has been reported by police for driving without due care and attention.
You think they might have a bit of sympathy, no? But wait, is it even an offence?
It is not in itself an offence to run out of fuel on a motorway. However, unless there's a mechanical fault with your car, there's no excuse for running out of fuel.
Not letting it get super low is just part of the basic responsibilities of running a car. By running out of fuel, you risk creating a dangerous situation and obstructing the roadway.
 And you're at risk of one of our police arresting you for that. Because they've nothing better to do.

Maybe one of them should hang around an ambulance station or police station waiting to pounce, if this is such an issue...

H/T: IR Jackson via email

I Didn't Realise The High Cost Of Sweeping Dog Waste Off The Street...

Hooded youths hurled rocks, bottles and eggs at bystanders as a stream of limousines adorned with garish floral arrangements snaked through Kent and south-east London.
One man living near the church where the funeral – thought to have cost up to £100,000 – took place was struck with an egg, and a photographer was punched in the face.
As classy in death as in life.


Remake of 'Reservoir Dogs' is not expected to do well...
The heavy police presence at Henry Vincent’s funeral is likely to have cost taxpayers around £15,000.
 Still, a small price to pay so that people can walk the streets in safet....

Oh.
Officers warned residents to avoid walking too close to the entrance of the church for their own safety.
Journalists were told by police their safety could not be guaranteed.
Yes, that's a British Police force pretty much admitting that they are useless in any kind of crisis. I suppose it's nice of them to confirm it officially.

Friday, 4 May 2018

I Sense A Pattern Emerging...

Whitby crewman Ben Laws and his workmate Joe Winspear were allegedly sacked over the phone on Tuesday. The pair are reported to have swapped the 'jokey' tea mugs for Secret Santa presents. One featured Mr Winspear's head superimposed on a naked woman's body.
...

...

And? Which delicate flower even thought this worthy of note?
When a senior female member of staff found them at the headquarters in North Yorkshire, their jobs were brought into question. The pair were initially told to destroy the mugs and that they would face no further action.
'Destroy'..? Not 'take home', but destroy? What the f...?
But the men, who are not paid for their work with the RLNI, then had to go through a disciplinary hearing that looked through their private Whatsapp messages.
They were eventually let go, sparking resignations from four of their colleagues in protest, reports The Sun.
Remember back to November, when the RNLI found that putting a woman with no practical qualifications in charge doesn't work out so well?

This is, I suspect, yet another instance of the same sort of cluelessness.
According to the newspaper they were told they could no longer work at Whitby's RNLI branch because the mugs could have been found by schoolchildren, which posed a 'safeguarding risk'.
Following the backlash, the RNLI fatcats have rushed out the usual self-serving guff companies always rely on, hinting that the MSM has got it wrong, and these are bad 'uns but ooooh, no, we can't tell you why because the lawyers won't let us:
The lifeboat station should be an environment where people can expect to be treated with dignity and respect.
We can not allow bullying, harassment or discrimination in what should be a safe and inclusive environment and there will be serious consequences for anybody who demonstrates this behaviour within the RNLI.
Just the sort of crap you pay...HOW MUCH!!??

Worth it only as a sea anchor... 

Here's a notice to the shiny-trousered morons who've taken over a once-proud charity and made it no better than the bloated, overstuffed RSPCA and RSPB - if I'm in peril on the sea, I don't give a rat's arse what the men - volunteers, too! - who come to rescue me drink their tea out of, nor what mucky jokes or office gossip they might swap on What'sApp.

Nor do I care if the RNLI is a 'diverse and inclusive environment', either. What matters is their seamanship, not their obedience to whatever the SJWs care about at this precise moment.

And if you think I put money in tins to buy the RNLI more 'compliance officers' and 'diversity consultants', think on!

Useless, Beleaguered, Beset By Scandal And Resignations...

...and yet the Tories are still more palatable than Calamity Corbyn's mob:



...party chiefs will face an inquest into why Labour is not making progress in crucial swing seats against an ailing Tory government.
Everyone already knows why, don't they?


It's almost like the Tories didn't even need to try. And indeed, some of them didn't!


The tears of the crushed enemies are sweet, as I drink them to the sound of the lamentations of their women:


Oh, Twitter is going to be delicious this morning!



Thursday, 3 May 2018

Translation: "Please Lose Us More Votes!"

Haringey Council needs to work better with voluntary sector partners when providing support to refugees to avoid “storing up problems for the future”.
A scrutiny review on support to children from refugee families found Haringey’s approach was “harsh” compared to other boroughs and called on the council to look at other ways of providing funding and support.
One might almost say, they provided a 'hostile environment'. Well, if you listened to the bleating of these Open Borders advocates, that is.
In the past year, the council assisted 254 children and 155 families in these circumstances, with current spending totalling £635,000 a year.
That's harsh, yes, but only on the poor bloody taxpayer!
But the Children and Young People’s Scrutiny Panel heard evidence that the assessment process used to determine whether support could be provided tended to focus on the finances and status of parents rather than the welfare of children.
As well it should. If the parents can support them, why should anyone else?
Mark Blake, Labour councillor for Muswell Hill and member of the Children and Young People’s Scrutiny Panel, said the review showed Haringey was “not working as cohesively with voluntary partners” as other boroughs.
He said: “In comparison to Islington, I felt we were losing out by not working as effectively and in as collaborative [a] fashion as I would have expected.
“Personally, I felt taking an approach that could be more harsh could be counterproductive – as a public authority, we could be storing up issues for us further down the line.”
Sounds almost like a threat. Perhaps we'd simply be better not taking in any more of them?

Then It's Time To Stop Voting For Them, Isn't It?

Maggie Kelly, 51, of Peel Avenue, Shoebury, and Wendy Punt, 50, of Elm Road, Shoebury, say that the town’s streets (sic) and are calling for more bobbies on the beat to combat knife crime.
I hope they are bigger than the one I saw strolling down the high street with her mate the other day. I could see over the top of her hat, and I'm not tall!

Her mate wasn't that much taller, and the two of them together couldn't handle disorder from anything bigger than a toddler...
Maggie’s son Shaun, 19, and Wendy’s son James, 20, were attacked by men wearing balaclavas in an alleyway near Elm Road, and were shoved to the floor. The thugs threatened the pair with a knife and stole James’ wallet.
Two fit young men were helpless. Not sure what Little & Littler could have done to assist...
The mums are calling on Southend Council to help work to get police the resources needed to make the community safe.
Unless those resources are a few units of the ED-209, it's hard to see what difference they are going to make...
Mrs Kelly said: “We want Shoebury to be safer place to live, I like living here but want it to be a better place to live.
Good luck with that!
“I want to see our local councillors doing something more to make sure that we get more police on our streets.
Really? So, are they lacking?
Mrs Punt said: “We have been speaking to our local councillors about the issue and we just don’t seem to get any answers from them.”
Well, the answer's within your own gift, isn't it? What do you plan to do?

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Good, There's One Less...For A While, At Least.

Mark Pearson, 47, of Grampian Flats, Balmoral Road, Westcliff, returned to begging after breaching a criminal behaviour order.
The order, which was put in place in November, prohibited him from begging. Yet Pearson was seen outside the entrance to the Co-Operative store in Hamlet Court Road, Westcliff, asking people for money on January 28 this year.
And he didn't confine his offences to just begging, either:
In the aftermath Pearson turned violent and attacked PC Marc Cann and was subsequently charged with two counts of assaulting a police officer in the execution of his duty.
And was bailed. You can guess what happened next, can't you?
Pearson was also charged with an additional count of assaulting a police officer after he assaulted PC Northcott on February 26 in Basildon - an offence he committed while on bail for the original charges.
/facepalm
Pearson denied all four charges and refused to attend the courtroom - and instead insisted on staying inside his cell. The court found him guilty in his absence.
In any other country, he'd have been dragged into the dock in chains. Why are we so supine?
Pearson was sentenced to four months in prison for assaulting PC Cann - and two months for assaulting PC Northcott to run consecutively.
It was decided there would be no separate penalty for breaching the order.
Then what the hell was the point in applying for it?

Well, That's Reassuring...

More than 40 people were evacuated from their homes after suspected explosives were found in a flat in a tower block.
Army bomb squad officers and armed police were called to Grove Hill, Brighton, at 7.20am on Saturday after suspicious items were found by fire crews called to deal with a leak. Firefighters were forced to break in to the fifth floor flat because the occupant was away.
They discovered items they believed to be “hazardous and potentially explosive”, sparking a major incident response from emergency services.
Funny, I don't recall hearing much about this in the mainstream news. Must have been a false alarm?
Explosive ordnance officers examined the flat and left the scene at around midday telling residents they could return home.
Police told residents the item they had found had been potentially dangerous but had turned out not to be a bomb.
Eh...?
A spokeswoman for Sussex Police described the device as “hazardous and potentially explosive” but said the suspicious items had been made safe.
Detective Superintendent Carwyn Hughes said: “Thank you to everyone for their patience.”
So...what was it? We'll never know. And you know what? It's not even the oddest story in the news!

H/T: Fidel via Twitter

Tuesday, 1 May 2018

No Petting Allowed!

A Hampton Wick mum is considering getting kids’ clothes that say ‘Don’t touch - my mum bites’...
Wha...?
... due to strangers stroking her children's hair and faces on buses.
*blinks*
Karen Ovenden frequently uses the number 285 and 281 buses and said some people “can’t seem to refrain themselves” from ruffling the hair or stroking the cheeks of her children.
After posting about the issue in a Facebook group, she discovered other parents have the same problem.
Do they all ride the No 285 or 281 bus as well?
“The boys worry when they get on the bus that somebody is going to touch them, ‘They say, nobody is going to touch me are they mummy?’
“If it just happened once I would probably have let it go.
Some people defend themselves. They have always got a different excuse.
“It doesn’t matter how I approach them, they say ‘Oh I’m just being friendly’. It doesn’t matter what the intention is. I know the children don’t like being touched by strangers.”
Why would anyone want to touch them? Frankly, I would go to considerable lengths not to come into contact with children on public transport.
Karen's twin sons are three and a half and often are at the receiving end of the petting from strangers, which makes Karen wonder if it's because of their afros.
Ah. Now it all becomes a bit clearer, doesn't it? This isn't 'Please don't touch my kids', this is 'Look at me! Look at ME! I am so keen on diversity I have mixed race children. Praise me!'

No, No, He's The Victim...

During the hearing, references were read out made by those who knew Hatcher, dozens of whom were in court to support him.
His sister’s read: “He is a caring person who would sit with homeless people and listen to them. He would give his last penny to someone.”
Another added that Hatcher was “caring and considerate”.
Presumably, keeping straight faces all the while...
Family man Ben Hatcher struggled with the birth of his child, turning to drugs to help him ease the pain of abuse he had suffered as a youngster.
As you do...
But his usage turned to addiction and to pay off his debts, he armed himself with an eight-inch kitchen knife, a disguise and a plan to rob Golden Amusement Arcade and Quicksilver, both on Shirley High Street, within days of one another and in the early hours of the morning.
The 31-year-old then attempted to rob another Quicksilver in Portswood but was caught after patrons overheard him demand money from a cashier and called the police.
Failed at normal life, failed at crime.
However, in sentencing Hatcher, who pleaded guilty to the charges, Judge Peter Henry said the “frightening experience” for those involved left him with no choice but to jail him.
Hatcher, of Winchester Road, Southampton, was sentenced to five years and three months’ imprisonment.
Is it me, or does the judge sound like he really wished he'd had a choice?