How Is It Possible?

Banksy has confirmed that a huge new statue which mysteriously appeared in central London is his work.

Then arrest him. No, not for his tedious sixth form 'artwork' but for arranging its installation in the middle of the most surveilled capital city in the west, which is currently on high alert.

Commentators on Banksy's Instagram site speculated the work was about 'blind patriotism', and walking directly into danger. They also questioned how he had managed to pull off such a stunt in such a busy area of central London. It is located along Pall Mall, near the Athenaeum Club and the Crimean War Memorial.

Throw him in a cell at MI5 and sweat him until he gives up his collaborators. Or we are not serious about security in the capital.

If You Want The Public's Help, Show Their Faces!

A CCTV camera behind the counter caught the two horrific incidents on camera, and he reported it to the police.

A Met Police spokesperson said: 'We are investigating following two reports of robbery at a shop near Leicester Square, WC2.

'If you were a witness or have any information which might help police, please call 101 quoting 7996/5MAR.'

Great, CCTV, that'll help immensly! Show us the pictures!  

 Wait, what? FFS!

Another DEI Hire Goes Badly Wrong…

A Metropolitan Police special constable is facing a possible jail term for groping a 14-year-old girl’s bottom as they queued in Tesco.

Is it..? Reader, yes, it is: 

Special Constable Hassnain Shahzad sexually assaulted the victim twice in the space of 15 minutes at the Tesco Express in Bishopsgate in the City of London. Shahzad was standing behind the girl and her mother in the queue at Tesco when he touched her bottom over her clothing at around 10.45pm on August 25, 2023. He then followed the victim and carried out a second sexual assault at around 11pm. Shahzad was linked to the attacks by CCTV and the use of his card at the tills.

His Clubcard, maybe? Well, 'Every Little Helps'. 

He was convicted by a jury at Inner London crown court on January 6, and set free with the bail conditions that he live and sleep each night at his home in Ilford Lane, Ilford and does not contact the victim or her mother.

Which rather indicates he may know them. Or look them up on PNC before suspension? 

Every Cloud...

The Met said yesterday its main working hypothesis was the attacker had 'gone into' the River Thames after being seen leaning over the railings of Chelsea Bridge on the night of the incident before disappearing from view.

And as a result, several families might now have closure: 

Marine Policing Unit boats have been pictured on the Thames as officers search for a body. On Saturday, police found one man's body near HMS Belfast and Tower Bridge, at 10.13am, and another man's body near Limehouse, east London at 10.39am, less than half an hour later.

Both men's deaths are being treated as unexpected and the police are working to identify them so they can inform their relatives.

Will they ever find Ezedi? Who knows. But hopefully they do. The poor Thames doesn't need more human filth in it. 

Was The First One Filmed On A Potato?

So, a hate crime in London. Good job it's covered by CCTV everywh...

The answer's 'No' Frankly, I doubt his own mother could from a picture like that. 

Got anything better? Something that shows this obviously Christian right-wing fundamentalist?

Oh. Well, that's awkward!

Did You Just Assume His Gender?

Because that could well be a husky lass, the image is so poor!

H/T: Ian J via email

His Own Mother Couldn't Recognise Him From That...

British Transport Police have released an image of the man who is wanted in connection with two assaults that happened on the London Underground today. The man was first seen assaulting another man at Baker Street Station around 11.50am.He was then seen shortly after midday at Finchley Road station where he pushed another man onto the tracks.

Neither of the victims were seriously injured from the attacks. Detectives believe the suspect was not known to either victim.

 What was it filmed on, a potato?

Detective Inspector Paul Watts, said: 'If you see someone matching this image...'

If I see someone 'matching this image', it'll be because my glasses have steamed up, Paul... 

"Do you wanna build a snowman...?"

Well, better not try it in Tupsley. Not on bin day, at any rate. 

Herefordshire Council said:“We are aware of this incident and are disappointed that an individual representing the council would behave in such a manner."

Hmm, mean-spirited, needlessly destructive, careless of how his actions look to the public...no, no, I'm sure that's not how council officials ever behave. 

"The employee was a member of agency staff working on behalf of one of the council’s contractors, and he has been informed that he will not be used again.

"Information has also been circulated to all agency employees outlining the professional standards they are expected to uphold when representing a Herefordshire Council contractor.”

Boy, I'd like to see that memo!

We're All Outlaws Now...

From 15 June, bus and train commuters in England could be refused travel if they fail to comply with the measures - or face a fine.

But according to the BMA, this...

Utter nonsense, because there is 'some evidence of a benefit, but it remains fairly weak'..?

...should be extended to all areas where social distancing is not possible.

Oh.

BMA council chair Dr Chaand Nagpaul also questioned why the introduction of these measures has been delayed - adding that the risk posed by coronavirus would be "much less" if the public starts wearing face coverings immediately.

Do you think we've all forgotten that when this started the medical establishment were advocating that there was no evidence of any benefit to it?

Announcing the plans, Transport Secretary Grant Shapps had said "we need to ensure every precaution is taken" as England relaxes the lockdown further, and passenger numbers start to increase once again.

The government says face coverings are "marginally beneficial as a precautionary measure".

And that's a reason to change our entire way of life and render CCTV on public transport useless?

"Smile, You're On Not-So-Candid Camera..."

A woman was bewildered when a waiter ordered her to take off her sun hat on a blisteringly hot day.

She was sitting in a pub garden on Saturday when she was told by staff that she must remove her hat so she could be seen by CCTV.

I'm assuming he meant only 'briefly', rather than 'for the duration of your stay'..?

Shortly afterwards the perplexed pub-goer messaged Sussex Police to see if the venue was within its rights to do so.

A Sussex Police spokesman said the force has “no policy for asking licensed premises to request that patrons remove headgear and would not involve themselves in enforcement of any such requirement in individual premises”.

But a Wetherspoon spokesman said it was necessary for pub staff to ask customers to remove all hats when visiting any of its UK venues.

They. of course, say that it's to assist the police:

Eddie Gershon, speaking for the pub chain, said: “ We apologise for the inconvenience caused to the lady.

“However, customers are asked to remove their hats in all of our pubs and outside spaces.

“The reason is that if there is an issue in our pubs and we need to hand over CCTV to the police, then they are able to clearly identify people.

“This is not able to be done if people are wearing hats.”

Or burkhas. Luckily, you won't get people wearing those in a pub. Though it might be fun to see what they'd do if someone did walk in with one...

The spokesman also added that if a customer has a specific reason for wanting to keep their hat on, either for religious or health reasons, they are not made to remove it, just asked to look at the camera momentarily.

Hmmm.

Wait A Minute, I Thought You Wanted This?

This use of intrusive technology makes a mockery of our right to privacy – and feeling monitored can cause us to change what we do, where we go and who we go with.

And some of these surveillance tools discriminate against people and cause the police to unjustifiably target certain groups and communities.

Are we talking about CCTV? Algorithm-led targeting?

Police body worn video cameras can record in private spaces and could be used alongside technologies like facial recognition to identify and track people in real time.

But...but I thought you wanted these to ensure the police didn't 'step out of line'?

What happened? Did you realise they would also show how your 'clients' behave towards the police...?

H/T: SpecialDibble via Twitter

Another 'Terribly Rare Case*', Eh?

A mother-of-three has been jailed for falsely accusing a teenage boy of rape after she lured him into public toilets for sex.

Sophie Skinner, 25, was sentenced to 18 months after being found guilty of perverting the course of justice.

Twenty-five going on thirty-five, judging by her pictures...

Mr Osborne was arrested, spent 17 hours in a police cell and had to go through an 'embarrassing' medical examination.

Not as embarrassing as all your pals clocking the state of the older woman you pulled, I expect...

Newport Crown Court heard he was saved by the local council's CCTV system which caught Skinner preying on her young victim.

If not for that, I suspect the #IBelieveHer effect would have seen him sent down.

The court heard Mr Osborne lost his job and reputation while out on bail during the police investigation into Skinner's false claims.

And her excuse? Well, obviously, she doesn't have one.

The court heard 'vulnerable' Skinner, who was taken into care as a child, continued to protest her innocence.

And there's probably a lot of people who believe her. Even now.

H/T: Tim W

A Perfect Storm...

Anne Ball, from West Moors, said the man riding the bike did not check to see if she was okay and left her “screaming in pain”.

A cyclist, you say...?

Cycling is not allowed on the main path in the gardens, Bournemouth council said.

Ignoring the rules, you say...?

The cyclist had a dog on a long lead attached to the bike and, as they approached Anne from behind, they passed either side of her.

She became entangled in the dog’s lead and was tripped up, landing “face down on the tarmac”.

With a dog, you say...?

She told the Echo it was only thanks to some “kind passers-by” that an ambulance was called for her.

“Although the man fell off his bike, he got up and pedalled off, leaving me on the ground with a broken ankle,” she said.

 If he's a vegan as well, this will be the perfect storm...

Anne said she had reported Wednesday’s incident to both the police and the council who told her that CCTV in the Lower Gardens would be reviewed.

Ah. Well, they aren't likely to catch him, then. When does this ever work?

Maybe Your Family Had The Solution All Along?

A dad has demanded for CCTV cameras to be introduced to Church House Gardens park after claiming his son and three friends were robbed there last night.

Cameras, eh? Well, that's a good idea!

Dad of one of the boys, Colin Welling, told News Shopper: "Yesterday (December 28) they stayed longer than normal. They don't usually stay after dark.

"They were approached by lads wearing balaclavas."

Oh. Maybe not.

"One of my son's mates saw it and ran off at speed. He wasn't chased and he rang the police straight away.

"My son had the presence of mind to stick his phone down the back of his trousers.

"They were pushed against the fence, they took a phone off one boy and said 'you're lucky we weren't shanked tonight'. They took another phone and smashed it on the floor."

Lovely! Still, it's one of those modern things, you just never know when an areas will become a no-go area and...

Oh. Wait!

"The council need to put CCTV there," Colin said. "It is almost secluded, it is amazing that there is no CCTV. There never has been. My oldest son is 30 and he said he was mugged there in the same way years ago.

"My daughter who is 29 also said she knows people who say it happens a lot there."

Errr.... Maybe this is a known place to avoid then?

If only your son & his friends had listened to the wisdom of his elders, eh?

"This has been shocking for everybody. You can't have anything in this world anymore without someone taking it."

Well, yes, sadly true. 'Twas ever thus, though. Avoiding the opportunity for others to take it would be a start, though.

Well, It Probably Isn't Widescreen...

She said: "Afterwards the staff just let the people go who attacked me.

"I phoned them about the CCTV and they said it doesn't work in that aisle."

Eighteen years old, pregnant with her second child (though might need the scanner at London Zoo to confirm that) and living off the state. Lovely!

No CCTV? No Urgency…

The Echo reported on Friday how the girl was in Sunningdale Avenue at about 10pm on July 6 when a man pulled up alongside her in a car and asked her if she wanted a lift. She refused, but the man stopped the car and got out. He came towards her and grabbed her arm. She shoved him and ran off. Her dad, who didn’t want to be named, said the police officer who dealt with the incident had been very good.

But the father was frustrated that it seemed no progress was being made. He said: “My daughter made a 999 call and the police got there an hour and three quarters later. I was knocking on the doors at midnight asking if anyone had seen this particular vehicle.”

I expect they had to deal with more important issues, like Shahneesha calling Kylie a slag on social media.

He said he felt information should have been released sooner. He said: “It is lucky my daughter is quite aggressive, but it has still shaken her up.

“She was screaming and yelling at him. At that time, someone might know something, but two weeks down the line, maybe not.”

Well, it's Essex. And leave aside the potential for this to be yet another false panic, the response seems typically lackadaisical and the report the usual confusion:

The man drove off in a dark, old-style, possibly four-door, saloon-style car. He is described as Asian, in his late thirties to early forties, 5ft 7ins tall, stocky with a chubby or fat, bloated, stomach. He had short dark hair, is clean shaven with a clean, clear complexion. He wore a long-sleeved, yellow, orange and brown checked shirt, straight fit-style trousers and had a strong Asian accent.

Chinese? Thai?

The Echo reported on Tuesday how a 12-year-old girl was invited to get into a man’s car as she walked in Kingswood Chase, Leigh, at 3.10pm on Friday, July 12. The girl ignored him and the man drove off.

So, there's been another report? Same man?

Police say they are not linking the two incidents in Leigh. The driver who approached the 17-year-old girl is described as Asian while in the second incident, in Kingswood Chase, the driver is described as white, in his fifties or sixties with a weathered face. He is small, with thin arms.

So two potential predators. Not sure that's a cause for celebration.

A police spokesman said: “In each instance, there could be an alternative explanation of the actions of both men.

Oh, really? That I'd love to hear!

“With this in mind, we would urge the men to come forward and clarify their actions and intentions. “

/facepalm

“Due to the ages of both victims, special interviews have to be conducted with parents present.”

For the 12 year old, maybe. But for the 17 year old? And isn't there any sense of urgency about this?

The spokesman added the first incident was on a busy evening for police and as the girl was safely with friends when she reported it, there was no urgent need for them to attend.

He said: “Officers looked at number plate recognition cameras and found more than 400 activations of black vehicles. In the second incident, details of the car were circulated to all officers in the area and a search was carried out, along with house-to-house enquiries. We established there was no CCTV.”

And with that, your efforts ceased?

The ‘Seven P Principle’ Is In Play Here…

At yesterday’s hearing, Jonathan Stone, prosecuting, said four men including Stringer arrived outside the shop on mopeds before Stringer used a hammer to smash through a window to steal the watches.

CCTV cameras inside the store and on High Street showed the group leaving the scene before Springer was seen being tackled to the ground by passers by.

Mr Stone said: “It was a well-planned operation but fell flat at the end. They had not planned their escape but there must have been a degree of research done.”

Stringer got five years, but we know he won’t serve it all, though. He already got 64 days off for time spent in custody.

And as there’s no report of other arrests, he possibly didn't give up his accomplices, either. I’d have tacked on an extra five years for each of ‘em!

William Woodman, defending, told the court that Stringer was in financial difficulty after being out of employment since 2009.

He said: “It seems that when he is in employment he does really well, but when he isn't it seems to have a significant effect on him. There is no suggestion he used the hammer to threaten anyone.”

In other words, when he’s got a job, he stays on the straight and narrow, but when he hasn’t, well, a life of crime is the only thing that beckons?

Incompetent crime, at that? I guess we know why he can’t get a job then…

H/T: MacHeath via email

Gosh, I Wonder Why She Didn’t Turn Up To Fight Her Corner?

A hairdresser has failed in a bid to force her former employers to pay her wages – while she was in jail.

Ummmm….

Miss Atkins' claims of constructive dismissal were thrown out by chairman Victoria Wallace on Tuesday at Ashford Employment Tribunal after she failed to turn up for the hearing, despite staff trying to contact her.

Ah. Not because they were patently absurd, then? Oh, well…

In written statements made to the tribunal, both Miss Atkins and her-ex boss said she took annual leave to attend her trial in December last year.

When she was found guilty at Canterbury Crown Court, Judge Adele Williams said Atkins had perpetrated a "dreadful crime".

But documents submitted to the tribunal show that Miss Atkins claimed her employer made assurances her job was safe before she was convicted.

Why would an employer say such a thing?

"I came home on June 27, 2012, and rang Mrs McDonald to ask if I could come back to work and the reply to that was 'no'."

Miss Atkins claimed in her statement she was thus owed backdated salary for the days missed while she was in jail.

She said: "I would like nine months' worth of wages, which is how long I was in prison for – as I thought I still had a job – which comes to £7,000."

Yes, I'm sure you would. I’d like a pony.

But Mrs McDonald said there was no agreement to keep a job open and that her business was stigmatised by her worker's conviction.

And, since ‘This Is Kent’ hasn't seen fit to mention what it was she was convicted of, we have to turn to Google (and thereafter ‘The Mirror’) for the details:

“My heart was pounding,” says Wayne.

“I was thinking maybe I was to be kept in custody until my trial. I asked the ¬policeman guarding me, he said he didn't know.

“Half an hour went by. Then another officer came down. He told me I was being released without charge because new evidence had come to light. As it sank in the relief swept over me.

“I went home to hugs from my ¬family. That evening an officer called me to explain what had happened.

"Police had learned that the night before Kelly had left her handbag in a pub and it had been handed in to a member of staff. It was the bag she said I’d stolen.

“Apparently, she’d reported being mugged for her handbag before she’d added that she’d also been raped.

"That was why the police were fairly sure she was lying. Days later I was told she’d been charged with perverting the course of justice, which she denied.”

Yup, she’s a false rape claimant. And false mugging claimant into the bargain. Failing at both  luckily enough  No real surprise she didn't try to shoot for ‘best of three’ then….

And I wonder who encouraged her claim to the Employment Tribunal?

Decline In Public Trust In The Police? Why, No, Me Neither…

Bill Gatenby needed 20 stitches in his arm and back when the animal leaped at him while outside the Bird Inn pub, in Washington, as he innocently watched a fight roll on to the street.

At the time, he was arrested for being drunk and disorderly, although he was later cleared during a trial after it emerged he was simply an innocent bystander.

Now, while it’s unwise to watch a fight that requires the attention of police to break it up, the penalty shouldn’t be arrest and a savaging, should it?

An officer originally claimed the 59-year-old had “gone at him”, which led the dog to bite and bring Mr Gatenby to the ground.

But it was only thanks to CCTV footage of the attack, which the police lost, that the real facts were shown.

Which the police ‘lost’, eh? How fortuitous…

The grandad-of-six, who lives with his wife Jane in Washington, said he can’t thank the landlord enough for coming forward with it. He said: “After I was arrested and the case had gone to the first appearance at court, it was originally said that there was no CCTV in the area at the time.

“I was just thinking, it’s going to be a case of my word against the police. I really wasn’t hopeful anyone would believe me. ”

Sadly, that’s no longer as true as it once was. We are far, far from the days when a policeman’s word was sufficient.

Now, it’s a case of ‘Trust, but verify’:

“Then the landlord of the pub got in touch with me and said he thought I needed to see the CCTV he had.

“He saw on the CCTV that I had done nothing wrong. “He gave me a copy of it and I gave it to my solicitor.

“The landlord said he had given a copy to the police but they said they’d lost it. “It was clear to most that there wasn’t a case against me once the CCTV had been seen. The magistrates agreed.

“I’m just so thankful to the landlord for contacting me and telling me about it. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise.”

Oh, I think I do. You’d have been convicted.

So, what does Northumbria Police Farce have to say for itself, and it’s officers?

A Northumbria Police spokeswoman said: “A number of his concerns were found to be unsubstantiated.”

So what? Not the crucial one, which is that your officers lied to the custody officer about the incident!

“However, we accept CCTV footage was misplaced and appropriate action was taken at the time.

“It was established Mr Gatenby had been accidentally bitten by a police dog.”

That’s an unfortunate happenstance. It’s not unusual, and though it’s a bad thing to happen, it’s what you do about it when it happens that is crucial.

Lying about it and hiding the evidence is criminal behaviour, is it not?

So…what ‘appropriate action’ was taken over these police officers? Were they dismissed? They certainly should have been!

After his trial, in November 2008, Mr Gatenby launched legal action against the police for his injuries and the stress he endured, yet it was not until nearly four years later that a court date was set at Newcastle’s County Court.

But a couple of weeks before the date, in July this year, an out-of-court settlement was reached and the Asda worker was awarded a five-figure payout and a personal, written apology from Chief Supt David Pryer.

If they hoped the out-of-court settlement would prevent any publicity, they clearly had their hopes dashed…

But it was the behaviour of the arresting officers that also disgusted Mr Gatenby. CCTV captured the immediate aftermath of Bill Gatenby’s arrest in Washington Police Station custody suite.

The officers can be heard laughing and joking and branding the attack “decent”. One of them even says “He’ll (the dog) not need feeding today”.

The dog handler in charge of the animal at the time of the attack, can be heard claiming Mr Gatenby had “just turned on us and, like, took a step forward and the dog has just gone for him” .

This was clearly not the case from CCTV footage taken from outside the pub, which shows Mr Gatenby never turned around and didn't seem to realise the officer was there.

So…what happened to those officers? Are they still walking a beat somewhere? Are they lying about any future arrests they may make?

Since they aren't named, who can have any confidence that they aren't being dealt with by them?

"Since the early caveman in his fur, took a trip to Gretna Green..."

"There's always been a photographer, to record the 'appy scene....."

Media organisations have won a High Court battle over police orders to give up film of the evictions from the traveller site at Dale Farm in Essex.

The police claimed they needed the footage from organisations like the BBC and BSkyB to pursue prosecutions.

But they really should think twice before getting involved in demanding others' film (and losing) since they have trouble hanging on to film that belongs to others too:

Police have been ordered to return private CCTV footage of a firebomb attack to a man with a violent past - despite fears it could help him find and kill the person responsible.

Merseyside Police had argued for retaining footage belonging to Joseph 'Joey' Owens, who had gangster connections, to avoid 'indirectly assisting or encouraging' him to carry out a revenge attack for the arson attack on his mother's home.

But today two High Court judges disagreed with the plea from police, and ruled the force's chief constable did not have power to retain the video from the CCTV system set up by Owens, who had shortly before the fire released a book exposing 'wannabe gangsters' and 'police informants' in Liverpool.

They don't have a very happy record when it comes to photography, do they?