Swine Flu Crisis? What Swine Flu Crisis?

One of two new flu centres in the Bromley borough has closed due to a lack of demand for antiviral drugs.

The antiviral collection point at the Beckenham Clinic in The Crescent, Beckenham, opened on Friday (July 24) to coincide with the launch of the National Flu Service.

Another centre at the Bromley North Clinic in Babbacombe Road, Bromley, opened on Saturday (July 25).

But bosses at Bromley Primary Care Trust (PCT) say nurses only handed out 200 courses of Tamiflu drugs over the weekend - not enough to justify keeping the Beckenham centre open.

C'mon MSM, you aren't managing to stoke up the panic! Gordon will be soooo cross....

The Race Card Doesn't Have The Same Effect As It Used To Have, Does It?

Hmmm, large festival can’t go ahead as planned in Rochdale due to money problems with the organisers.

A sign of the times, in the recession?

The multi-cultural festival was called off at the eleventh hour after organisers at the Multi-cultural Arts and Media Centre were unable to come to a compromise with Rochdale Council over a hefty deposit.

Yup, looks like it.

But hark! Is that the cry of the lesser spotted grievance-monger I hear?

But Councillor Robin Parker hit out at Wednesday's meeting of the full council, claiming the cancellation was down to concerns over security.

He said: "The success of the Feel Good Festival was superb, if it's possible to secure an event like that then it's also possible to secure the Mega Mela.

"I believe that we are at risk of moving to a borough that could be accused of institutional racism."

Oh noes! Not ‘institutional racism’!

And all because the organisers of the Mega Mela are being asked to conform to the same standards as everyone else…

Andy Zuntz, executive director at Rochdale Council, said: "It is unfortunate that this event has been cancelled despite all our best efforts to make sure that robust plans and arrangements were put in place to ensure its success.

"However, the event organisers decided to withdraw their application because of their inability to place a deposit with the council which is deeply regrettable. A deposit needed to be taken as protection against any potential damage caused to the park and would have been refunded if it was not required."

What does Cllr Parker think Rochdale should do then?

Waive the deposit, and then have all those other festivals clamouring for equitable treatment? Or pay their deposit from council coffers, and face the wrath of the taxpayer?

"Who will buy my sweet red roses cut price cauliflower?"

Clacton NHS obviously has money to burn:

Health champions want to get deprived residents eating their greens by taking fruit and veg directly to their doors.

The NHS-sponsored volunteers are targeting two of the most deprived areas in Clacton to turn residents from chip butties to broccoli.

They plan to take the healthy food door-to-door and sell it at cut price.

They’ll have to beat the ‘Pizza Express’ delivery man to the door first. Perhaps they’d better buy a high-performance car for the job?

Sue Felgate, leader for the health trainers, said: “It is not going to be easy, but it is something we would love to see happen. We are really keen to get this going. It is about increasing access to fruit and vegetables in areas that are not very near a supermarket.

“It is a bit brought on from Jamie Oliver, and his project to get people cooking and sharing recipes. It is really about getting people interested in food again.”

She said the scheme would see health trainers pro-actively approaching households, and the cheap produce would be backed-up with recipe suggestions and maybe even cooking clubs and tasting sessions.

And we’ll be paying for it, with our taxes.

Yes, this is where the NI contributions are going, not on heart operations and setting wee kiddiewinks’ broken legs, but on paying for harebrained schemes like this one, and the useless, otherwise-unemployable staff to run them.

The van would initially target Jaywick and Pier Ward in central Clacton, areas where poor health is an issue and life expectancy is low compared to nearby districts.

So, the residents of Jaywick and Pier Ward are dying early purely because they aren’t eating enough cabbage, are they?

Are you sure about that? There aren’t any other factors?

Ms Felgate said: “Everybody always says to eat healthily is terribly expensive.

“Jaywick does not have a supermarket, but it does have a lot of fast food places.

“People have lost their cooking skills and don’t tend to cook for themselves as much as they used to.”

Really, Ms Felgate?

Or is it just that they can’t be bothered, as Leg-Iron pointed out?

Needless to say, this barmy scheme is eagerly lapped up by the people who cling, leech-like, to the state, and those who think the state should provide them a living without them having to lift a finger:

Kevin Colman, chairman of the Pier Ward Interaction Partnership, which represents people in ward, said: “It is a great idea. If it can help, even in a small way, why not? ”

A member of the Jaywick community forum website wrote: “What a great idea. We can no longer afford our five a day and have had to cut back.”

Anything else we can do for you, anon? Provide a nurse to spoon it into your gaping maw too, save you having to lift your no doubt flabby arms?

Surely, Colin Philpott Will Get A Community Order, If Anything..?

Lots of interest in the case of Colin Philpott, the businessman who was arrested for attempted murder after confronting yobs who were attacking his stepson yesterday.

Well, as long as he has no previous convictions, and maintains how frightened he was, and how the situation got out of control, he should be ok.

At least, by the standards of this case:

A 16-year-old boy has been given a community order for violent disorder following an attack which left a student fighting for his life.

Note, this little thug was the aggressor…

On June 25, 2007, 20-year-old Faheem Javaid was stabbed, punched, kicked and hit with a brick and a motorcycle helmet near the McDonalds restaurant in Well Hall Road, Eltham.

Mr Javaid was attacked after his younger brother was robbed by a group of youths on a bus, the Old Bailey heard on July 24.

Charges of attempted murder and robbery against the 16-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were dropped after he pleaded guilty to violent disorder on June 22.

He had said he was “frightened” during the attack and the situation had got “totally out of control” .

Aww, bless. Didn’t fancy the odds then, his mob of thugs against a single unarmed man?

Perhaps he’ll grow up to be another Glen Francis…

Judge David Paget gave the 16-year-old, who had no previous convictions, a 12-month community punishment and rehabilitation order.

That’ll teach him…

Still, sauce for the goose, eh? Can Mr Philpott expect any less?

Awww, Diddums!

Glen Francis fancies himself as a bit of a hard man, it seems. After police tried to arrest his girlfriend, he went a bit ‘Charles Bronson’:

Francis grabbed a female officer and threatened to shoot her, officers claimed.

The 35-year-old later apparently lunged at officers with a 15cm (6in) knife. He was shot twice with a Taser but pulled out the barbs and barricaded himself in, screaming: 'The first copper in here is getting f*****g killed.'

Correctly reasoning that the quickest way to the discerning modern chavette's heart knickers is by an alpha dog display of dominance, Glen made his stand.

Sadly for him, he was a Pomeranian when it came to making good on his threat.

After a two-hour stand-off, armed officers stormed the address in North Shields, Tyne and Wear, Tasered him three more times and arrested him.

He can consider himself lucky he was only shot with a Taser…

But it seems Glen Francis isn’t the rough, tough, brawlin’ son of a gun he appeared to be. He’s complained about his arrest.

Specifically, that he was referred to as a (censored) by one of the police arresting him:

But Francis claimed a sergeant was guilty of misconduct for using a four-letter word, a claim which was upheld after an inquiry.

'I want to take legal action because they just get a telling off for what they did,' said Francis. 'It upset me to hear someone say that.'

Poor, delicate flower!

Still, they won’t take this seriously, surel…

Oh:

A police sergeant has been ordered to undertake a "management advice course" because he swore while dealing with a violent and abusive criminal who had threatened officers during a two-hour siege.

I wonder what he’ll be taught on it?

Hopefully, how to hang on to the Taser button until scum like this are medium-rare, next time. Dead men make no compensation claims for rude words...

An investigation by Northumbria Police Professional Standards Department (PSD) found the sergeant guilty of misconduct for using the swear word.

A PSD report states that the sergeant was pushed into making an "inappropriate comment" following a tirade of abuse from Francis.

I’m guessing the officers who staff these departments aren’t front-line officers? Have never been in a scuffle with a bad ‘un in their lives? Consensus over at Insp Gadget's is 'No'...

Francis's complaints of being stripped and handcuffed on a cell floor were dismissed.

He says he is discussing legal action with his solicitor and plans to lodge a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights.

Francis, now of Wallsend, North Tyneside, said: "I want to take legal action because they just get a telling off for what they did.

"It was an insult when I heard how the officer who swore at me got off - it upset me to hear someone say that. I've got a hole in my heart and they used a Taser, which could have killed me."

You know how you can avoid being Tasered, even if you don't have a medical condition, Glen?

By not indulging in a two-hour standoff with armed cops and waving a knife at them!

Still, at least he got a good long spell in jail to think abou…

Oh:

After the incident in February 2008, he was charged with offences of false imprisonment, threats to kill and affray.

He was convicted of affray at Newcastle Crown Court in September and given a 12-month suspended prison sentence.

Yup. That does indeed read ‘suspended’. I had to check it several times just to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me…

So, you can indulge in threats to kill, wave knives at the police, need to be Tasered repeatedly to put you down, and you don't even go to jail for it?

What sort of country is this?

Francis, who underwent an operation in January to repair a heart defect from birth, said: "I was a toe-rag when I was younger, but I'm trying to go straight. I'm really scared of the police now - I'm like a bag of nerves."

That’s your idea of ‘trying to go straight’…?

*sigh*

That cop was right - you are indeed a (censored)...

"...then offer me the same thing in a different guise ..."

David Cameron warned yesterday that the better-off must share the pain of repairing public finances.

He said tax credits for households on £50,000 a year or more could no longer be justified.

Good point. Surely no-one could argue with that?

But oh, what's this?

The Tory leader also hinted that his flagship inheritance tax cut may take several years to implement - and raised the prospect of new road tolls.

Mr Cameron said: 'In saying to the country that we need to reduce public spending, we need to get the budget balance under control, we've got to be able to demonstrate to people that this is fair and seen to be fair and that everyone is putting their shoulder to the wheel.

'And that means the wealthy have to pay their fair share.'

Dave, Dave, Dave…

The wealthy are already paying their fair share. Talking about it in these terms isn’t going to earn you any brownie points with anyone other than the idiots who believe wealth is a zero-sum game, and if someone has a lot, there’s less for others.

Do you really want to attract idiots like that?

But he risked angering Right-wing MPs by insisting that the budgets for overseas aid and the NHS would not be touched - and would continue to grow. Insulating those areas will mean deeper cuts elsewhere.

We’ve already discussed how bad an idea this is. And it’s not ‘right-wing MPs’ he should be wary of alienating, but voters.

There’s no point telling everyone they have to ‘put their shoulders to the wheel’ if we are then sending some of the product of that labour to people who aren’t within a mile of the wheel at all, never mind that they aren’t also putting their backs into it…

In his toughest message yet on public finances, Mr Cameron said it was time to 'look the British public in the eye' and make it clear 'we are going to cut public spending'. A Tory government would start at the centre by reducing the number of MPs and having fewer ministers.

Now, this is a good thing.

Providing, that is, that quangos and fakecharities don’t simply spring up to carry on where they left off…

Mr Cameron said voters were 'crying out for someone who's going to say "right, we are all in this together, we've got to take these steps together"'.

No, voters are looking for someone to do those things, not say they will…

We had that with New Labour. Are you Blue Labour instead?

After all, you seem to be backtracking on a lot of promises lately. Just like all those other politicians:

On inheritance tax, Mr Cameron said raising the threshold to £1million was something the Tories 'want to do, obviously, in a Parliament' - suggesting it may not be for be several years.

He also confirmed that Labour's new 50p tax rate on people earning £150,000-plus would not be scrapped in the early days of a Tory government. It was a 'bad tax rise', he said, but 'not in the list of things that we can get rid of quickly'.

If it's a bad tax now, how is it that it won't be such a bad tax when you take the reins, Dave?

So why should anyone vote for you, Dave? What have you got that the others haven’t?

On the basis of this, not a lot….

Maybe Consultants Are Worth Their Hire After All...

At least, according to the joke just emailed to me:

At last Gordon Brown decided to throw the towel in and resign.

His cabinet colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So a senior 'Sir Humphrey' went from Whitehall to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities.

"They have a number of locomotives at the NRM without names," a specially-sought consultant told the top civil servant. "Mostly freight locomotives though."

"Oh dear, that's not very fitting for a prime minister," said Sir Humphrey. "How about that big green one, over there?" he said, pointing to 4472.

"That's already got a name" said the consultant. "It's called 'Flying Scotsman'."

"Oh. Couldn't it be renamed?" asked Sir Humphrey. "This is a national museum after all, funded by the taxpayer."

"I suppose it might be considered," said the consultant. "After all, the LNER renamed a number of their locomotives after directors of the company, and even renamed one of them Dwight D Eisenhower."

"That's excellent", said Sir Humphrey, "So that's settled then...let's look at renaming 4472. But how much will it cost? We can't spend too much, given the expenses scandal!"

"Well", said the consultant, "We could always just paint out the 'F'."

Cheers, Ade!

The Wind Changes For The Greens...

Firstly, a wind turbine company gets a cluster of activists and strikers on its doorstep after announcing 625 job cuts:

The firm said it was planning to shut the Newport site as the wind turbine market in the UK was "not big enough".

Secondly, the National Marine Aquarium in Plymouth scraps its 50ft high 6kW wind turbines after they discover that not only do they mince the local birdlife...

An aquarium in Devon has taken down two wind turbines after seagulls were killed when they collided with the blades.

...but they also don't provide good power either:

The aquarium also said they had not produced as much electricity as hoped.

Caroline Johnson, of the aquarium, said: "The major problems included where they were positioned.

"The eddying effect of the wind meant they weren't producing as much energy as they potentially could have.

Back to the drawing board, watermelons!

New Labour Have Cause To Curse The FOIA Yet Again...

Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has suffered a major setback in her legal battle with American 'shock jock' Michael Savage after her officials were accused of banning him from the country on racial grounds.

Emails written by Home Office officials privately acknowledged the ban on Mr Savage would provide 'balance' to a list dominated by Muslims - and linked the decision to Gordon Brown and Foreign Secretary David Miliband.

The officials admitted their action could look 'duplicitous' and cited his 'homophobia' as a reason the move would receive public support.

Oh, dear, how did this get out?

Whoopsie!

Now, correspondence released under Freedom of Information legislation suggests the banning of Mr Savage, whose real name is Michael Weiner, was based on a party political calculation made at the highest level of Government.

One message, sent by an unidentified Home Office official on November 27 last year, said that 'with Weiner, I can understand that disclosure of the decision would help provide a balance of types of exclusion cases'.

Hoist by their own petard. How delicious..!

Parenting: U R Doin' It Wrong...

A boy of four has been banned from a Tory social club.

Jay Cadwallader - dubbed a ‘gang leader’ by bosses at the Bamber Bridge Conservative Club in Lancashire - stands accused of encouraging ‘disaster’ by climbing on railings, riding his scooter across a bowling green and blocking toilets.

So, why haven't they tried telling the parents of this little hellion to cont...

Oh:

Yesterday, his mother Natalie Cadwallader, from Bamber Bridge, said: ‘He is not doing anything any other child isn’t doing.

‘He is gutted and was in tears. He is only a baby and doesn’t really understand.’

Well, quite. That's why you, as supposed adults, have a responsibility to instill some discipline.

Not whine to the newspapers when other people take exception. And 'But the other kids do it too!' is the sort of response I'd expect to see from your four year old...

Aubrey Simpson, the club’s treasurer, said he had sent Jay’s parents two warning letters asking them to control their son.

‘Jay comes in and he’s a bit of a gang leader and leads the other children to join in,’ he said.

‘His parents were finally asked not to bring him in because he was climbing on railings and the heating unit in the patio area - it was a disaster waiting to happen.

‘They have been asked repeatedly but what can you do if they won’t be responsible? We’re liable unfortunately.’

Oh, yeah. The Cadwalladers are raising a monster. Let's hope he's an only child...