We Don’t Need Another Ban…

A dad is calling for dogs to be banned from play areas in parks after his son was bitten by a Staffordshire bull terrier in Basildon.

Well, it’s already illegal to let your dog bite children in a public area, so I can’t see how a ban on all dogs in play areas is going to somehow stop this happening in future…

Steven Evans is calling for action after his 13-year-old son, Dean, was attacked by a Staff at Holy Cross Recreation Ground, in Church Road.

Dean, a pupil at De La Salle School in Basildon, was left with a bleeding cut and bitemark to his leg after the dog came up to him while he was with friends within the fenced-off play area The youngster ran home to tell his parents following the incident, on Wednesday afternoon.

So no-one saw the incident or got a description of the dog’s owner?

Maybe that’s the reason for this:

Mr Evans, 33, of Dunning Drive, Basildon, said: “…We called the police, but they just weren’t interested.”

Or maybe not.

And it’s hard to see how, if they won’t take an interest in calls saying ‘My son’s been bitten!’, they will suddenly spring into action when they receive a call saying ‘There’s a dog in the play area and it hasn’t bitten anyone yet!’…

“I’ve heard of loads of dog attacks on people and other dogs happening across Basildon lately.”

Well, if there’s no will to do anything about it from the authorities, why should yet another non-enforced ban be brought in?

Mr Evans believes dogs should be banned from anywhere children play.

He added: “I have dogs myself, and I always muzzle them when I take them out.

“I think they shouldn’t be allowed in play areas of parks – there’s no reason for them to be there.”

So, you’re a responsible dog owner, yet you want another ban put in place that will merely punish responsible dog owners like yourselves while the feral animals at the handle end of the leash just ignore it?

Are you mad, or just a masochist?

Naturally, this attitude is meat and drink to the morons that infest local councils and can see another potential moneyspinner:

Malcolm Buckley, Basildon councillor responsible for the enivironment (sic), said: “We do have powers in reserve to ban dogs from certain places, but unfortunately it’s not as easy as people think to put into action.

“It’s something we could think about in the future though, if enough people asked for it.”

‘If you beg us, we’ll make you pay…’

And They Tell Us Britain Isn't Broken?

A seven-month old baby was thrown into the path of a double-decker bus by a teenage girl after he was ripped from the arms of his terrified sister.

Tavish Dabedeen landed in a bus lane outside a station as the vehicle approached, but the driver was able to avoid the helpless child.

Good god. Even for Croydon, that's uttely appalling...

Horrified commuters ran to Tavish's aid after the teenager and another girl targeted his family who were visiting shops.

You'd expect this to be some kind of mental illness/care in the community attack, but no. It seems it all stems from some kind of school bullying; at least, that is the 'Mail's first take on it.

Witnesses said two teenage girls, believed to attend the same school as the child's sister, viciously attacked the family group.

Mark Marshall, who works nearby, said: 'It’s a disgusting incident that still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

'What goes through a person’s mind to do something like that?

'I thought someone had been hit by a car when we saw all the people standing around looking in the road, then when I realised it was a small baby my heart just sank.

'Whatever happens to that girl happens, her parents should be ashamed of her.'

I think this one is going to be illuminating, when it finally comes to court. Assuming, that is, it gets that far. Police say they are still hunting for the second attacker.

Maybe They’re Going For A Badge In Righteous Interfering?

Girl Guides are calling for warning symbols to be stamped on airbrushed pictures of models and actresses to curb a rise in eating disorders.

In what way is this a problem for the Girl Guides, for the love of…?

More than 20,000 young women are expected to sign an online petition demanding the compulsory labelling system for adverts and magazines that allow consumers to recognise natural and altered shots.

It will be available on the Girlguiding UK website for three months before being sent to David Cameron.

And after that, he’ll don his underpants over his trousers and leap into action as ‘Legislation Man’, will he?

Well, I don’t know if Brown Owl reads the news, but don’t get your hopes up, girls….

Disclaimer: Description Given May Not Be Accurate…

When 12 year old Georgia found a burglar in her kitchen, she knew just what to do…

The suspect is described as white, 18-20, thin, 5ft 7in, pale…

Well, you can probably ignore the ‘pale’ bit. Any man would be pale, after getting a hefty kick in the unmentionables!

I Guess They've Never Seen How Big A Cowpat Can Be?

…angry farmers have insisted that failing to clean up after dogs in rural Britain is just as unacceptable as in a built-up town or city.

They claimed there have been increases in livestock deaths from diseases found in dog faeces and demanded councils provide more ‘poop scoop’ bins in rural areas.

Err, hang on.

If the problem is dogwalkers on your land, why is it the council’s job to install poop bins? And if it’s council land, what are your animals doing on it?

Bob Carruth, communications director of the National Farmers’ Union (NFU) in Scotland, said: “We want to encourage people to be more responsible.

“When they are walking around towns or cities they will as a matter or course use a pooper scooper to clear up their dog mess...”

They will..?

I guess things are different in Scotland then….

”No matter if it’s heroin, cocaine, or hash…”

”…you got to carry weapons, ‘cos you always carry cash”:

A student faces prison after he was caught carrying a gun at his college.

Adamo Kizey, 18, was found with a semi-automatic pistol and a magazine with six rounds of ammunition when searched at Kingston College in South London.

A further search of his home revealed 20 wraps of cannabis, weighing scales and a gun silencer.

I wonder what he was studying?

Hop To It, Officers! But Remember, They're Slippery Customers...

Mile End Road resident Dominic Payne got a visit from an environmental health officer from Colchester Council recently.

The problem ? Noisy frogs mating in her pond. Apparently, this had been reported to the council's noise abatement people and...

Hey, stop laughing at the back! This is serious:

She told him officers had spent the previous evening listening to the frogs, measuring their noise decibel levels. He said: “I thought that was the end of it, but a week later two police officers turned up and said ‘we’ve come to investigate the frogs’.

Say what?

“They went all round my garden trying to photograph the frogs. They were here for about an hour and a half.”

I...

I just...

Then, last week, next-door neighbour James Kent returned from holiday to find a letter from the police’s Wildlife Crime Unit saying the marsh frogs were a “non-native” species and needed to be removed.

FFS..!' We're the Pond Police, love, and we 'aven't 'ad our dinner!'

However, Mr Kent insisted they had been using his back garden pond for 25 years and had been introduced to the UK in 1935 – 75 years ago.

He said: “I spoke to the police and they said they need to come and capture them all and take them away because they’re a non-native species and they shouldn’t be here.

“She said they will either get destroyed or they can be put somewhere where they can’t escape. To destroy them is just not right.”

More than that, this cannot possibly be what was intended when these specialised Wildlife Crime Units were set up. Was it?

Mr Payne said he believed there were plenty of better ways for public officials to spend their time and taxpayers’ money.

You're not kidding...

He said: “I’ve told people this story and they said, ‘you’re making it up’. I reckon the police and the council must have wasted at least a week of their time each investigating this.

If they've nothing better to do than this, why not just dispense with them?

Remind Me Again…

…how NuLabour’s whacky schemes always ended in failure?

Community support officers ho are supposed to help police catch criminals and patrol the streets are being diverted to pick up litter.

The civilian staff in Staffordshire Police have taken to local playing fields and neighbourhoods armed with litter pickers and bin liners rather than combating anti-social behaviour or rowdy youths.

/facepalm

Mind you, I suppose at least they were actually doing something useful, rather than harassing photographers or watching kids drown…

Mark Judson, chairman of the Staffordshire Police Federation, said: "One could possible(sic) employed them in a more suitable way than litter picking.

"I would imagine a number of people would think it is rather a strange thing for PCSOs to be doing when one would think they might be better employed supporting police officers."

Quite…

But this isn’t the first time:

Last year, senior officers in Kent Police were accused of having "lost the plot" after it emerged they had diverted two PCSOs to clear sweet wrappers and crisp packets from streets in an area where car crime has increased by 11 per cent.

Won’t someone please make it stop?

More of this please, though:

In a bid to keep children occupied and out of trouble this summer holiday, police community support officers covering the Pitsea south-east beat are hosting rounders and cricket games.

It would be a mistake to blow this off as another waste of their time. This is actually a pretty good idea.

It Seems David Miliband Isn’t The Only One…

…to make me think we need a new word for ‘chutzpah’:

A restaurant owner spoke of his astonishment last night after a clamping firm tried to charge him for “loss of earnings” because he warned customers to avoid a private car park next door.

Yes, unbelievable as it seems, they claimed that he was preventing them from daylight robbery earning a living…

Zak Hussein, 50, told customers they faced being clamped and fined £150 if they left their vehicles in the permit-only car park next to his Indian restaurant, The Chillies.

But the warning so angered Whites Car Park Solutions it launched a legal action, claiming Mr Hussein’s actions were scaring away its own “customers” and depriving it of release fees.

I’d say they ought to be ashamed of themselves, but then, ‘car clamping firm’ and ‘shame’ aren’t natural chums in anyone’s sentence…

In a letter to Mr Hussein, Jason White wrote: “If you carry on to warn people away from the car park causing me loss of earning I will have to issue a county court summons in the region of £150 for each day you do this.”

Mr Hussein was stunned when he then received a letter from Northampton County Court saying Mr White had lodged a claim for £535. The clamper had demanded £500 “loss of earnings”, a £35 “court fee” and £150 per day until the court case.

Luckily, he got a judge who was similarly unamused at the temerity of this business gang:

At Southampton County Court District Judge Andrew Grand dismissed White’s claim, saying that Mr Hussein was allowed to warn customers.

He said: “It is ordered that the claim is struck out as disclosing no reasonable grounds for bringing proceedings.

“It is not tortious to warn people of vehicle clamping operating in a car park.”

It’s just as well he struck it out. Think of the legal precedent this could have set!

This Is Why...

...clotheshorses should be seen and not heard:

Gisele Bundchen, the Brazilian supermodel, has called for mothers to be forced to breastfeed for the first six months of their baby's life.

And that'd work how, exactly?

'Excuse me, ma'am, Titty Police. I see you have a baby. Any bottles on you? Gonna need to see if you're lactating, so flash 'em, honey, or it's the cells. Your choice...'

Mind you, you'd not be short of volunteers, would you?

The 30-year-old, who lives in the US, risked controversy...

Ya think?!?

..by saying there should be a law preventing mothers from using formula milk.

Oh, and in case you're thinking 'Well, she live in the States, and they're all crazy there. Some state might try it, after all, but it's still the US. So why should we worry?' think again. Her ambitions go further:

"I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

/facepalm

And, you know, this casual demand for 'something to be done' about the bee you have in your own (admittedly designer) bonnet is what is fuelling civil liberties nightmares such as those outlined by Leg-Iron and Dick Puddlecote, among others.

It's bad enough already, without giving them ideas...