It's A Start...

...but it's a welcome one to clip the militant unions' wings:

Trade unions will be forced to put pay offers to a vote among their members as Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng plans a fresh crackdown on crippling strikes. In his 'emergency Budget' this morning, Mr Kwarteng announced new laws to ensure industrial action can only take place once talks between employers and unions 'have genuinely broken down'.

And there's more... 

Mr Kwarteng said: 'Other European countries have minimum service levels to stop militant trade unions closing down transport networks during strikes.

'So we will do the same. And we will go further.

'We will legislate to require unions to put pay offers to a member vote, to ensure strikes can only be called once negotiations have genuinely broken down.'

Why wasn't this done before, one wonders? 

Former Transport Secretary Grant Shapps, who was sacked by new Prime Minister Liz Truss this month, welcomed the Chancellor's announcement.

'This is one of the items from my 16-point-plan I presented this summer for tackling "forever strikes" and means four of the measures are now underway,' the ex-Cabinet minister said.

Ah. Well, maybe you wouldn't be an 'ex-Cabinet Minister' if you'd moved it up your plan a bit, eh, Grant? 

Freudian Slip..?

*tuts* Really, estate agents, can't you spe...

Oh. Never mind. 

No Wonder She Managed It...

...what could a tiger do against a woman who's half-animal herself?

Sunday Funnies...

Nature, infinitely strange for eons...

Sentences That Make You Wonder....

A 16-year-old boy is among three people charged today with the murder and rape of a father-of-one in Rotherham.

...what century and society you're living in. I had to read that twice.

Adam Clapham, 31, who had a young daughter, was found dead on Spring Street on the day of the Queen's funeral after concern for welfare reports at around 10.48am.

On Monday, officers rushed to the scene where they found the 31-year-old unresponsive and confirmed him dead.

Robert Crookes, 31, of no fixed address, Lynette Myers, 38, of Hounsfield Crescent, Rotherham, and a 16-year-old boy, who cannot be named due to legal reasons, have all been charged with murder.

They also faced allegations of false imprisonment, a section 18 grievous bodily harm offence and oral rape when they appeared at Sheffield Magistrates' Court today.

*speechless* 

Dare We Hope..?

...that we actually have a conservative government worthy of the name at last?

'I don't think it's a bleak picture - if you look at unemployment, that's at a 50-year low,' he said, adding that tax cuts were ‘central to solving the riddle of growth’ as he set a target for boosting GDP after years of ‘stagnation’.

Business chiefs welcomed the measures, with the CBI saying there was ‘no choice but to go for growth’ - while former Tory treasurer Lord Ashcroft said that with the Chancellor's mini-Budget it 'seems after 12 years to have a Conservative government'.

Watch this space. And watch what Labour does. Because they are now pushed into a position where they have to argue that allowing people more of their own money to spend as they wish is somehow a bad thing... 

All Back To 'Normal' Now..?

So much for the State Funeral uniting everyone:

A father, aged 46, who has a son at the school told Yorkshire Live: 'It was a scary moment when I heard there had been trouble and a teacher answered my 14-year-old son's phone. I understand he may have witnessed some of what happened.

'I was asked by staff to come and collect him. I've heard that it all came out of nowhere. This pupil was grabbed, pinned to the floor and stabbed repeatedly.'

And is now dead. Just another statistic. His murderer is 16. And we can't know his name, although we know that of his victim (Khayri), and his victim's girlfriend (Shyana), who are both white. 

Draw your own conclusions... 

Another father, whose daughter is at the school, said something 'needs to be done' about the rise in crime in the area, adding: 'My daughter just started there and was getting on bus home. Lad in black hat and snood jumped out on a pupil and stabbed him and ran off.

'She saw the scuffle but didn't see the knife or blood. The bus had just pulled up as it happened so blocked some of the incident - she seems OK but still processing it I think. It's only her third week or so at this new school.'

He added that the area was starting to 'feel like a crime drama.'

They usually end with a stiff sentence for the guilty party. Not so real life... 

Nobody Would, Mr Smith...

Essla shouted: “I’ll kill you” and the Arabic phrase 'Allahu Akbar' before running across the road towards the victim, who had a newborn baby in a pushchair, and another woman.

As she approached the women Essla lifted her arm and swung the knife at the second woman, striking her on the shoulder. Essla then slashed the mother, who is in her thirties, three times on the lower part of her arm in a “stabbing motion” causing three separate cuts, said Wayne Cleaver, prosecuting.

Yes, it's this case.  

Mr Smith, 63, said his daughter-in-law has been left frightened to leave her home following the attack. “She’s a nice girl and has never been in any trouble in her life, she just plods along and loves her kids,” he said.

“I have to thank the police for responding so quickly and members of the public who stepped in the way to prevent her coming to further harm.

Mr Smith added: “However, I hardly call this sentence given to the attacker a deterrent.”

Oh oh! Surely not..? 

She was given 16 months detention in a Young Offenders’ Institution suspended for two years and a 30 day rehabilitation activity requirement. She was also banned from contacting the victims of the offences and from going within a mile of Forest Road until further order.

*speechless* Those reports must have been amazing....

Another 'Innocent Man' Gets In The Wrong Car..?

The inquest also heard a pen portrait of Mr Yaqub from his partner Zoe Summers, the mother of his two children, who were six months old and 11 at the time of his death.

She told the court: 'I always felt lucky to have Yassar in my life, especially as we got older.

'He had such a kind, loving nature and only wanted the best for people around him.'

A tribute from the couple's daughter Jasmine added: 'I miss my dad more than anything.

'His presence made me so happy, I wanted to be around him forever but now all I have are memories and pictures, which I will hold on to forever.

'My dad would always encourage me to focus on my dreams but since he passed away it's very hard to, especially in school.'

Mr Yaqub's father Mohammed told the hearing his son was 'well respected in the community and never out of employment'. He fought back tears as he said: 'He was a natural father, he loved (his children) with his whole heart and taught them to be kind to others.'

Gosh, what a saint he was! So...why was he shot twice in the chest by an armed cop during a hard stop?

The judge said: 'It will not surprise you to learn that the event of stopping the Audi and Volkswagen did not just happen out of the blue.

'You will hear the police had been interested for some time in Mr Yaqub before January 2, 2017.

'You will hear they had been receiving police intelligence about his activities. They had built up a picture of him.'

Hmmm... 

A handgun, bullets and a silencer were later found during a search of the car.

QED. So the only real question is - why are we wasting money on an inquest?

New Inventions Are Sometimes Worthwhile...

Tattoos are notoriously painful and take hours to administer, as they require repeatedly piercing the skin's top layer with a sharp needle covered with pigment. But the microneedles can be pressed into the skin just once and then dissolve, leaving the ink in the skin after a few minutes without bleeding.

Oh, no! Will chavs around the world rejoice and plan their avoidance of work forever? 

Well, no. This has genuinely useful practical applications for people with no desire to recreate 'The Illustrated Man': 

The new tattoo patch has been designed for medical tattoos, which can be used to cover up scars, guide repeated cancer radiation treatments, restore nipples after breast surgery and much more. Tattoos also can be used instead of bracelets as medical alerts to communicate serious medical conditions such as diabetes, epilepsy or allergies.

Of course, it won't stop there, will it? 

Professor Prausnitz told MailOnline that the patch could also administer normal, recreational, artistic tattoos too. 'We envision their use for medical, veterinary and cosmetic, recreational, artistic purposes,' he said. 'Microneedle patches simplify access to tattoos in general by reducing required expertise, pain and cost.'

*sighs*