I Know We Have To Avoid Disability Discrimination In The Workplace...

...but surely we aren't hiring blind Border Force staff?

A migrant who came to the UK by boat....

Whoa, let me stop you there! 

'Migrants who arrive by boat' do so with passports and visas in hand, via Stena Lines or P&O. They don't come ashore in Kent via dinghy, having conveniently lost all their documentation. Start calling these what they are - illegal immigrants. 

....and claimed to be a child so he could stay is actually in his mid-20s, and even joined an over-30s dating group, before he was caught out by his grey hairs and stubble.

There is no way in hell anyone could claim to have thought this man was 16 years old. No way.  

Aria Ibrahimi, who is now believed to be 25, posed as a 16-year-old and got taken into care by Kent County Council as a minor before social workers' suspicions began to grow.

/facepalm 

Questions For Merseyside Police, Or Not..?

The tragedy comes after Ms Dunn required hospital treatment in August last year after suffering a number of bites from a large dog, resulting in non-life-threatening injuries, The Liverpool Echo reported.

It is unclear if the dog that attacked her last summer was involved in her death.

So, it was known that dangerous dogs were kept at the premises? 

A spokeswoman for Merseyside Police said the investigation team could not comment on whether the August 2021 attack is part of their enquiries.

Why? Are they too busy wiping any evidence of a previous incident from their databases? 

Great, Well Done, Now Give Them The Will To Use Them...

After ambulances and fire engines struggled to get through, Number 10 said any disruption to the emergency services' work is 'unacceptable'.

The Prime Minister's official spokesman said: 'These sorts of protests that disrupt peoples' daily lives or, indeed, can stop our emergency services from potentially saving lives are unacceptable.

'That's why we've already toughened powers for the police, we've given them new powers to act and we are also taking further powers through the House at the moment to ensure they can go even further in preventing these individuals from disrupting peoples' lives.'

Fantastic news, but as we've seen with the Dangerous Dogs Act, beefing up the powers available is worthless when they lack the work ethic to actually use them...

...commissioner Sir Mark Rowley told the London Assembly Police and Crime Committee that officers have to wait until protests are deemed to meet a legal threshold of causing major disruption before they can be shut down.

His officers are in touch with Transport for London, local councils and the emergency services several times per day to check the level of disruption caused. Sir Mark said: 'Over the last 11 days, all of those partners have been of a view that it doesn't cause serious disruption.'

Said, no doubt, by people sitting in cozy air-conditioned offices, and not out on the streets trying to get a fire engine, ambulance or delivery vehicle through traffic... 

Maybe The 'NIMBYs' Have A Point..?

Residents have branded a decision to green-light plans for a 78-home estate “ridiculous” - amid fears Herne Bay will be flooded with new developments.

Authority officials say the scheme “would not have an adverse impact on the living conditions of neighbouring properties”. But local Billie Moore is concerned the town’s infrastructure will be put under strain by it and the 1,000 other homes earmarked for land nearby.

“It’s unbelievable,” she said.“Herne Bay has grown a lot already, but there are no more schools, doctors, dentists.” Labelling the decision shocking, resident Nicky Biggs predicts “we do not have the infrastructure to cope with these additional houses”.

The same situation is replicated everywhere - houses and flats crammed onto every available space, and no uplift in the infrastructure needed to support such a massive influx...

And it shows no sign of stopping: 

Stonebond also wants to build 160 properties on a 14-acre field called Northwood, while 572 will eventually be erected on Redrow’s former golf course development. And 800 more will be sited at Strode Farm.

How can this possibly be sustainable? What's the point in continual housebuilding with no thought to what will sustain this population growth? Has no-one ever played 'Sim City'? 

Bosses from Stonebond insist they are “meeting the authority’s expectations” on contributions to infrastructure in the wider area. And city council officers stress Kent County Council has requested “financial contributions towards secondary education, community learning, youth service, libraries and social care” in the town.

'Financial contributions' won't make schools and hospitals bigger and able to cope with demand, will they? What does the council say? 

Responding to concerns surrounding the project, a spokesman for Stonebond said: “We engaged with local stakeholders and the community throughout the planning process, addressing specific concerns they had,” a spokesman said. “As a result of those conversations, we’re improving the existing pedestrian walking route along Bullockstone Road.

“Additionally, sustainable drainage measures will be used to mitigate any potential increase of flood risk.”

*sighs* 

All The Technology In The World Won't Help...

Police took three days to find the missing body of an 85-year-old man in his car​...

Yeah, Police Scotland does have a reputation for this, after all. 

...that had automatically called 999 when he crashed.

Wait, what? You couldn't make it up, could you?

Why Not? Isn't It Your Actual JOB?!?

He said: “They held us all in bed and shouted ‘show us your hands, show us your hands’ and that was when they asked us how long we’d lived there. “I told them we’d only moved in three weeks ago and very quickly they were like ‘oh…have you got any ID?’

“We all showed them our IDs and then they realised they had the wrong people, they started sort of chuckling about it.”

You'd think they'd be embarrased and apologetic, wouldn't you? If you were living in a cave watching only reruns of 'Dixon Of Dock Green', that is... 

Ollie was then asked if he had any drugs in his room, to which he replied yes, his privately prescribed cannabis for mental health purposes. He said the officer questioned whether his prescription was legitimate. Ollie lodged a formal complaint to Sussex Police about the raid and the querying over his medical cannabis.

So having bust in to the wrong address, they decided to compound that by going on a fishing expedition?!? 

The force sent a formal letter to Ollie confirming they were not pursuing the issue due to the small amount found.

Oh, not because they screwed up again and it was legal. Say, why didn't they know that, anyway? 

The letter also said: “I am afraid that police officers cannot be expected to know about every aspect of every law which affects UK citizens.”

*blinks* 

Easy to See Where She Gets Them From...

Pattyson and his partner were called to collect the student due to behavioural problems.

And they apologised to the headmaster and took their errant child home for a stern talking to, yes? 

Well...

Shaun Pattyson, 27, knocked victim Robert Swindells to the ground at Chesterton Community Sports College before the prosecution allege he punched and kicked him.

Magistrates adjourned the case and next month Pattyson will learn his fate at North Staffordshire Justice Centre.

It shouldn't take them long... 

Emma Thompson, prosecuting, said the headteacher had worked at the school for 25 years and has been head for ten years, StokeonTrentLive reports. She said Chesterton Community Sports College had been experiencing issues with the girl for some time, including swearing at teachers.

The student's parents were called in on May 9. Miss Thompson added: "The headteacher had a conversation with the child's mum on the phone and she said she would come immediately to collect the child. The child went to the front entrance and began being rude. Within ten minutes the child's parents arrived.

"The mother approached the front entrance and shouted at the child to get a phone. The child went to collect the phone.

"The defendant appeared and squared up to the headteacher. The headteacher could not remember what he said to him but the defendant was swearing at him before head-butting him. It connected with the right side of his face just below his right eye. He immediately fell to the floor as a result of the headbutt. He felt the defendant kicked and punched him for approximately ten seconds."

The defendant made full admissions when interviewed by police. Miss Thompson said: "He said he headbutted the headteacher. He was shown the CCTV and admitted it was him head-butting, punching and kicking the victim. He said he believed the headteacher was a bully and that is why he assaulted him."

Open and shut, surely? 

Pattyson, of Brewester Road, Bucknall, admitted common assault. Representing himself, the defendant said: "I'll admit to head-butting him because I did. I admit to punching him. I did not kick him. If this is on CCTV, show it to prove I did not kick him."

Might as well take the kid out of school, anything bred by these two isn't going to learn anything anyway... 

Praise Where It's Due...

...something I never thought I'd say about Basildon Council!

Basildon Council has rejected a “ridiculous” language guide which calls for local authorities to not to call parents “mother” or “father” but “birthing parent”.

Hurrah!  

The 18-long page guide, which was sent to councils across the country by the Local Government Association (LGA) this week, urges councils to avoid terms such as “disabled”, “second generation”, “economic migrant”, and “homeless,” according to a report in The Sun. The Inclusive Language Guide aims to help councils identify and use language which demonstrates "equality, diversity, and inclusion".

The mayor was pretty forthright: 

Basildon councillor Luke Mackenzie labelled the guide “ridiculous” as he confirmed the authority would be ignoring its suggestions.

The Basildon mayor said: “It’s absurd to suggest the words mother and father can be offensive. Those are identities that most people identify with, and I think we need to stand up for traditional family values.

He added: “The LGA, which is taxpayer funded, has bigger and more important things to be focused on, particularly council budgets, energy bills, and such.

“Their time would be better spent on actual meaningful policy to help councils meet those challenges.”

Well, quite! If only other councils had as much gumption.  

Bosses at Southend Council shied away from declaring if they will follow the guidelines, but councillor Martin Terry, responsible for public protection, says it is a good thing to use “diverse and non-offensive” language.

Why? 

"Don't Blame Us, She Made Us Do It!"

An Essex woman made 10 false rape claims against two men leading to 60 police investigations - which eventually found that the men were not in the area at the time.

'Eventually..?

Cathy Richardson, 35, from Westcliff, made a series of allegations against two men between January and May 2021, and has now been sentenced to more than five years in prison.

Essex Police bosses have slammed her actions, which they say had a 'huge impact' on the lives of the men she accused and resulted in wasted police time and resources.

You caused that! You wasted your own time and resources, and why? Because no matter how many times this happens, you cleave to a discredited policy: 

Detective Inspector James Holmes, who led the investigation, said: 'Whenever an allegation of rape or sexual assault comes to us, our starting point is to believe the person making that claim.'

Still, you've learned your lesson now. Right? 

'I sincerely hope this case does not put off victims of rape and sexual assault, who really need our help, from reporting offences to us.

I want to reassure you that you will be believed, we will support you, and we will investigate what has happened.'

/facepalm 

Are We Sure She Didn't Have Them The Wrong Way Round?

Like the 'Mail' subeditor presumably wears his spellchecker....