Even The Rain Has Had Enough!

And who could blame it?

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Sunday Funnies...

Yay, we're number one, thanks to mad medievalists!

"You just stand there looking cute, and when something moves, you shoot!"

A British woman has died after being fatally shot by her companion during a wild boar hunt in north-western France.

Was she excessively hairy? Very short and with a wicked temper?

Citing the release, Le Télégramme newspaper says the hunting party were crossing a cornfield when the woman was shot by her companion. The release added that a 69-year-old man, in "circumstances yet to be determined", fired his rifle "with the barrel pointing towards the back".

/facepalm

It's not exactly the first time, either, so perhaps Tom Lehrer was being a little unkind towards his countrymen there... 

The 'Woke Parents Of The Year' Award For 2022 Is In The Bag...

A 24-year-old woman from Algeria with a history of psychiatric disorders was last week charged with the rape and murder last week of the girl, identified only as “Lola”.

Investigators have learned that the woman had overstayed a student visa and in August had received notice to leave France within 30 days.

Conservative and far-right parties have accused President Emmanuel Macron’s government of failing to enforce immigration laws, saying strict application of deportation orders could have prevented the child’s death.

And are they wrong? Reader, no-one could possibly conclude that. Could they? 

But Lola’s parents, who met Macron this week, have pleaded with politicians to stop exploiting their daughter’s death, after her photo was displayed at a far-right demonstration in Paris on Thursday.

They asked that “any use of the name and image of their child for political ends immediately cease and be removed” from the internet and in protests, their lawyers said.

The request was made so they could “honour the memory of their child in peace, respect and dignity”.

I have no words... 

Now, That's A Community!

Omar Awada, 47, said: “He tried to run away but the local guys managed to catch him and they beat him until the police came.

“It was like Tom And Jerry, they were on him right and left, the guys”, Mr Awada said.

A shoplifter? A phone thief? 

One man, said to have knocked the alleged attacker down with a bicycle, was described as a “hero” by a witness. The witness, who did not want to be identified, said: “We heard screaming, we came out, the guy had a knife, he was stabbing the woman repeatedly, maybe five or six times.

“They used anything in their hands to stop him.

“When people chased him he tried to escape and scare people with the knife, but we had one hero who put him down on the ground. He hit him with his bike.”

Good going! Finally, people are realising that 'leave it to the police' isn't a viable strategy anymore. 

I Guess It's A Start...

Four e-scooters have been seized near Great Yarmouth as part of an operation to tackle anti-social behaviour in the area.

Great Yarmouth Police tweeted just after 9pm on Thursday (October 6) that four e-scooters had been seized after riders were found without insurance and a driving licence.

The crackdown - which is named Operation Wiseman 22 - is part of a drive to solve anti-social behaviour, the use of e-scooters and drug usage in the Bradwell area.

Only a few hundred thousand to go... 

H/T: Dave Ward via email

You're Too Popular For Our Popularity Contest...

New Zealand’s annual bird of the year competition could usher in another round of controversy, with perennial favourite the kākāpō struck from the ballot after twice winning the competition.

Wait, what? I know New Zealand is fast becoming the most picturesque open air insane asylum, thanks to its bonkers premier, but c'mon!  

This year, however, it will be conspicuously absent, amid concerns that its continued dominance could divert the spotlight from less charismatic candidates.

 It's so popular, they want to ensure it doesn't win again. 

“No, not banned from entry. It’s a hiatus. It’s definitely not a lifetime ban,” Forest & Bird spokesperson Ellen Rykers said.

“You know, if the same bird keeps winning every year, that might make it not so interesting.”

Rykers said in an earlier statement that “Of course, the election remains fundamentally democratic”, adding that the competition was hoping “to channel … love to some of our feathered friends that may be overshadowed by their flashier, chonkier or louder cousins”.

I really think you need to look up the word 'democratic'. I don't think it means what you think it means... 

Organisers are attempting to boost the profile of less glamorous birds – dubbed “underbirds” – that usually get negligible votes. Candidates in this category, including the grey duck and shore plover will be highlighted on the online ballot, in an attempt to spark underdog sympathies among voters.

Who knew the modern mantra of 'prizes for all!' now extended to our feathered friends? 

"We Go Live Now To The Tory Chief Whip For A Statement..."

C'mon, someone needs to put a stake through the heart of this monster before Hallowe'en...

"...at that stage, we believed in the justice system and that somebody would be held responsible for supplying her.’"

Sandra now knew that her daughter had returned to the university halls with flatmate Kavir Kalliecharan to collect her ID, which she’d forgotten. Together, they took ketamine in his room. When police were called after her lifeless body was found at 5am, sniffer dogs discovered weighing scales, zip-lock bags, a vapouriser, cannabis grinder and three types of drug — ketamine, cannabis and MDMA — in his room.

The son of an associate professor in health policy at Leeds University, he was arrested and led from the block in handcuffs. Sandra thought they’d throw the book at him.

Reader, they did not:

But, as his trial approached last year, she learned he was pleading guilty to three counts of possession. He was not charged with supplying ketamine to Jeni or manslaughter. Instead, Sandra heard on a video link to his trial, he was accusing Jeni of providing the ketamine.

Because a naive girl from rural Northern Ireland would know where to score on her first night at university, wouldn't she? Did she supply all the paraphenalia too? 

Magistrates gave Kalliecharan a two-year conditional discharge in June last year and he was ordered to pay £85 costs and a paltry £21 victim surcharge.

Piling insult on top of heartbreak.  

The coroner’s ruling this week that the ketamine had been supplied by ‘another’ was a victory of sorts.

A hollow one. 

More Like Vultures...

One asylum seeker staying at a seafront hotel in Paignton claims they are “living like chickens” on meals of a “handful of rice” three times a day.

Oh, really? And why should anyone take any notice of criminals? Who are probably being fed better than other criminals in jails here: 

The operator of the hotel denies the claims...(and) said residents can get their evening meal outside the set time of 6pm to 8pm, and there is an unlimited supply of fruit and snacks, such as bread and jam, available all day.

There's pensioners freezing in cold homes who'd love to have unlimited free snacks all day. And of course, that's not all, is it?

The asylum seekers are entitled to healthcare and children can go to school or college.

Of course, if they hadn't paid people smugglers to get them here, they could eat pretty well in France... 

H/T: IanJ via email