Competition: Find A More 2026 Opening Paragraph Than This One!

As a mother of four boys, teenagers riding e-bikes had become one of my biggest parenting fears. But after speaking to friends of William Drake, 16, and Adrian Lai, 15, the two teenagers killed when their dirt bike collided with a bus in Sydney's west this week, that has completely changed. And I think everyone should be more worried about what happens when police get more authority to seize and destroy these bikes.

A middle class woman opens dialogue with some ‘teens’ over the senseless death of two of them during a criminal endeavour, and comes away from it thinking they have a point. 

The following day, a number of their mates agreed to talk to me about their involvement in the growing illegal e-bike culture. I expected regret. I expected a wake-up call. Instead, I was met with defiance. And something far more confronting: fear.

Not, Reader, fear of dying in a horrifying crash. That takes sense, with they clearly lack.  

'What else are we going to do?' one classmate asked me when I questioned whether this tragedy would stop ride-outs. 'How else will we be able to make friends and have somewhere to go?'He wasn't concerned about getting hurt, or worse still, losing his life before it even had a chance to really begin. He was worried about losing his freedom.

The freedom to end your short life in a twisted mass of mangled metal? 

But what struck me most is this: e-bikes are not the real problem.

Not all kids play sport. Youth clubs are dwindling. And now social media, for many under-16s, is effectively off the table.

Oh dear, I’d forgotten this was Australia. Is that ‘unforeseen consequences’ I hear calling?

The young teens I spoke to didn't care what the law says, and they are willing to take the risk of being caught for the thing they love most. That's actually being with their mates, but their logical brains are still developing, and they think it is about the e-bikes. Which means if we ban them without replacing them, they will not stop.

Give them social media so they won't find more dangerous pursuits? Well, it's a theory...

If You Didn't Know The Young Man Murdered At Primrose Hill Wasn't Black...

...the opening paragraphs in the news would clue you in fast:

A musician's son was stabbed to death as a packed London beauty spot erupted into shocking violence. The father of 21-year-old Finbar Sullivan told the Daily Mail of his heartbreak after his son's death on Primrose Hill.Christopher Sullivan, founder of 1980s band Blue Rondo à la Turk, said: 'This is the worst tragedy I could ever imagine. He's my only son... I had him when I was 45. He can never be replaced.'

A father commenting on the death of his son... if you were blind, you'd immediatly know which demographic this was. 

One witness, who asked not to be named, said: 'The park was just so busy, I had gone with my mate after work and it was literally the busiest I have ever seen it because of the weather and it being Easter holidays. 'Then suddenly we heard this commotion from behind us, and a big brawl kicked off – people were throwing punches, people were screaming at others to stop. 

'There were lots of people involved in the fight, most of them looked about 18 or 19.' Police said no arrests have been made.

Typical. always a day late and a dollar short. 

Mr Sullivan said he went to the scene as soon as he heard his son had been caught up in the violence:'It's Primrose Hill, for God's sake... it's like Hyde Park. It's not somewhere you expect this.'

In 2026 it can be expected anywhere in London. The photos of the scene show just why. and more impotantly who.

Detective Inspector Andy Griffin, from Scotland Yard, said: 'We are following several lines of inquiry. This incident occurred in a busy, public park and there may be many witnesses who can help us piece together what happened. 'We are aware of footage circulating on social media around the time of the incident, and urge anyone who has any information, including photos or videos, which could support the investigation to urgently contact us.'

Maybe if you'd showed up a bit faster and arrested a few at the scene, you wouldn't be playing catch up now. 

Surely They Have Their Hands Full With The Physical Sort?

Activists and lawyers in Africa are calling for urgent action to protect women, girls and boys as digital violence surges across the continent.

Digital violence sounds infinitely better than the usual sort... 

A massive rise in internet users, coupled with huge numbers of people aged under 30, has fuelled an increase in gendered online violence across the continent, according to experts, by giving perpetrators new tools to control and silence women and girls, and influence boys.

Technology is amazing, isn't it? 

A UN Women report in Kenya found that name-calling, blackmail using negative images of women in politics, and other messages were posted online with the aim of spreading fear, and undermining women’s credibility to participate in elections.

Toughen up, sisters!  

The African Union Convention on Ending Violence against Women and Girls was introduced in 2024 and includes digital violence, but according to Sibongile Ndashe, executive director of the Initiative for Strategic Litigation in Africa, it is “regressive”.She said: “We’ve spent a lot of time trying to push back on it because we feel that the convention is not doing what it’s supposed to do in terms of setting out rights, required state obligations and providing clarity [around technology-facilitated gender based violence].”

A charity in Africa fails? Surely it ain't so? I wonder how much British taxpayers money went into it...

When Is Enough Going To Be Enough?

A dog was shot dead by armed officers after a man was attacked earlier today. Armed police officers were called to Hillside at around 10.45am today, April 7, to reports two dogs were on the loose on Lynton Road.A spokesperson for the force said in order to prevent further harm and stop threat to the public, a decision was made to destroy one of the dogs at the scene.The force did not say anyone had been arrested at this time.

Why onlt shoot one loose mutt? Wht not both? When are the police going to shake off the fear of critiscim from the owners and idiots on social media and man up and do the job of keeping the public safe?  

Perhaps because of it's clossness to Wales, a hotspot for aggressive breeds, Liverpool has had yoo mani of these attacks: 

A woman has pleaded not guilty after a vicious dog latched onto a schoolgirl's leg and sank its teeth into her skin. Kerris Gledhill, 16, from Norris Green, underwent surgery after the suspected XL Bully attacked her in the street.Barbara Kukla, 37, of Beversbrook Road in Liverpool was charged by Merseyside Police with owning a dog dangerously out of control causing injury. She appeared at Liverpool Crown Court on Tuesday, April 7 where she plead not guilty. She will go on trial next March.Following the incident Merseyside Police confirmed a dog had been seized following the attack.

Why wasn't it too shot at the scene?  Meanwhile, in one recent case, it appears the cops didn't shoot enough out of control ill-bred bitches:

The girlfriend of an XL Bully breeder whose vicious dog mauled and killed a "confused" pensioner who wandered into their garden has said her life has been "ruined" thanks to the actions of the victim.

We should, no doubt, expect such from a denizen of Self Pity City... 

Following Garner's guilty verdict, his girlfriend Lauren Lawler made a series of public posts "liked" hundreds of times on Facebook, raging: "The police and this government are the biggest load of vile corrupt people I’ve ever come across."

Living in Liverpool? I doubt that even more! 

Garner, of Dinaro Close in Belle Vale, was remanded in custody. He will return to Liverpool Crown Court for sentence on April 17.

He should do life.  

False Economy? Call It What It Is!

London parents using dodgy Amazon “firesticks” to illegally stream children’s TV have lost hundreds after their bank accounts were hacked.

Why single out London, other than this is the local paper? Surely other areas are as affected? 

Around 40 per cent – or two in five – across the capital became victims of financial fraud, higher than the national average of 32 per cent.

Oh. Maybe it’s the demographics, maybe it’s the higher cost of living that accounts for this? 

Viewers pay on average £13.53 a month, or £162 a year, for illegal set top boxes to watch the likes of Disney+, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Sky and BT. But in Greater London parents say this false economy led to them being defrauded to the tune £1,821 when criminals gained access to private banking details on their phones, tablets or other devices.

Or could it be simple greed.  

BeStreamWise – a cross-industry initiative – says a single illegal app can expose multiple devices within the home, including those used for work emails.

Rob Shapland, an ethical hacker with 16 years’ experience in cyber security, said: “Streaming is a normal part of family life, especially during school holidays and weekends when demand for popular programmes is high. 

“But when looking for ways to keep kids entertained, it’s important to prioritise safety above all else. 

Theres a wealth of activities in London, acres of parks and institutions both free. But they usually require some input, some time, from parents and as we've seen, so many parents no longer want to do that. Which makes you wonder why the had children in the first place. 

“Criminals aren’t focused on what you’re watching – they’re looking for opportunities to access valuable information. 

“Unofficial streaming sources can sometimes open the door to risks such as malware or data theft, potentially putting your devices, bank details, passwords and personal information at risk. 

“Taking a few simple steps, like sticking to trusted platforms and keeping security software updated, can make a significant difference in protecting your data and devices.”

First step being, NOT plonking your kid down in front of the widescreen babysitter in the first place, and it you do, at least pay for it. 

Well, It Was Authentic!

A businessman who stored fish in the bath next to the toilet before using them in ready meals to sell illegally to supermarkets has avoided jail. Stephen Akuoko, 62, had been operating in Watford under the name Tribal Foods for over three years, selling products that had inappropriately long use-by dates and a lack of detail on ingredients.

To people who are from cultures who don't care about such things. We can thank out lucky stars these only contained fish!  

The business was pursued by the borough council's environmental health team due to concerns about the products, but Akuoko proved elusive until a fire at his home on Haines Way in October 2024.

Firefighters were called to Akuoko's flat following a wok fire, and discovered huge quantities of fish in the bath and on the floor of the bathroom next to the toilet.

Akuoko later pleaded guilty to two food safety offences, as the judge blasted him for the meals that were 'unfit for human consumption'.

*bites tongue* 

At St Albans Crown Court last Thursday, he received a two-year suspended prison sentence and a five-year ban from operating any food business.

The mitigation must have been something to behold!  

In mitigation, Aleister Adamson said his client had owned a supermarket for many years until the property's lease expired. He then lost an expensive legal fight and became homeless until he was given social housing.

Of course!  

Akuoko then set up Tribal Foods, which he initially operated from a rented kitchen space before he started cooking from home.

'He was not in receipt of any benefits at that time and was relying on the business, which was not profitable at any stage, to support his basic living needs,' Mr Adamson said.

Apart from the benefit of being housed at the expense of the ratepayer... 

Judge Sheridan praised the 'dogged' efforts of the environmental health team who he said had performed a public service.

Yes, isn't it nice to see a local council doing something useful at last. 

Quick! It Must Be Time To Repeat 'Adolescence'...

That'll fix it:

Teachers’ leaders have said a “masculinity crisis” is fermenting in schools across the UK, with misogynistic abuse of female staff on the increase, leaving victims “traumatised”, “demeaned” and “humiliated”.

Oh no! Can a documentary help? Our Prime Minister would say so, after all... 

One teacher said she was called a “fucking slag” by a pupil. Another said a student had made nude AI images of her, while other boys joked about raping girls, then laughed when challenged.

'Boys' and 'girls' of no race or class or nationality, it has to be noted. 

Matt Wrack, NASUWT general secretary, warned of a ticking timebomb and called for better support and training to deal with the impact of the “manosphere” in schools.“These pupils are the same boys and young men who will go on to be husbands, fathers and colleagues in the workplace. They may eventually develop influence in the public sphere. We must help them and their victims – including teachers – before it is too late.”

Well, when they grow up, they will find spouses and workplaces less tolerant than schoolyards. 

The latest poll focuses on female staff rather than students. Female teachers described being ignored, mocked and patronised by their pupils, including being referred to as “love”, told to “calm down” and belittled with comments like “must be that time of the month”.

Try it in the workplace and it'll lead to an uncomfortable chat with HR. 

They complained about sexualised sounds and gestures, which are used to humiliate and demean, and not enough support from parents or school management. 

“Parents have told me if I can’t handle teenage boys then I need to ‘work in a fucking nursery’.”

They might just have a point, it has to be said... 

A Department for Education spokesperson said: “Misogynistic views are not innate, they are learned, and we are committed to using every possible tool to achieve our mission of halving violence against women and girls.”

Except excluding the males doing it? Or challenging the culture and religous background if that's a factor?

Are Your Days Finally Numbered, Andover Scaffolding?

At a business breakfast meeting on Wednesday, March 18, Test Valley Borough Council conservation officers stated that the long-running scaffolding on the Ladbrokes building, run by Entain, is expected to come down in the spring this year.

Regular readers may remember this story.Though may not, it was rather long ago.

Blue Cross, at 60 High Street in Andover, has refurbished its shop front after receiving a grant of around £5,000 from the Andover Town Centre Frontage Grant scheme.The funding supported repairs and repainting of the exterior, alongside an internal refit to create a brighter and more welcoming space. 

Cllr Phil North, leader of Test Valley Borough Council, said: "It’s great to see Blue Cross investing in their High Street shop and continuing to play an important part in the town centre."

They didn't though, did they. You did, with ratepayers money.

"The frontage grant scheme is designed to support improvements like this as we deliver our wider regeneration plans for Andover."

Are all local councils stuffed full of incompetent liars or does it just seem like it?

H/T: Ian J via email

Some Families Are Just Dysfunctional...

A Waitrose employee of 17 years has described his devastation after being sacked for stopping a shoplifter who had ransacked a display of Lindt Gold Bunny Easter eggs.

Not for punching the thief to the floor, just stopping him escaping with the loot... 

He was told off by his manager and apologised but the matter was escalated. Smith said he was previously told not to approach shoplifters but the toll of seeing them get away with theft repeatedly spurred him into action.

As it would any normal human being, but clearly, Waitrose doesn't want normal human beings working for them. 

After a few days, Walker was hauled into a meeting with two store managers. “I had a feeling about what was going to happen,” he said. He made a final plea, telling his bosses “Waitrose is like my family” but he was still dismissed.

And like some families, the Matriarch or Patriach is an arsehole. 

He had recently moved into his own studio flat after living with flatmates for 25 years, before being sacked. He worries about how he will keep a roof over his head. “I’m not too sure what’s going to happen with this place now. I might be homeless. My confidence is on the floor right now,” he said.

This is such an inversion of justice that even I'm shocked! 

A Waitrose spokesperson said: “We take the safety and security of our customers and our partners incredibly seriously and to do this we have policies in place which our partners are aware of and required to follow.”

How about you take the social contract incredibly seriously instead, and make sure crime doesn’t pay, while crime fighting pays well? 

Frustration Because He Couldn’t Do It In Work Time?

Scotland Yard is investigating reports one of its officers was filmed intimidating journalists after an arson attack on Jewish community ambulances in Golders Green.

 Not just any journalists of course…

Special Constable David Soffer is allegedly seen at the front of a group of men that surrounded the Al Jazeera film crew shouting “go home”.One Palestinian reporter is reportedly called a “dog” and a “donkey” in Arabic and told to “Go back to Qatar”.

It doesn’t say that he was saying that, merely that he was in the presence of people saying that. But it was against people the Met holds in high regard - Muslims - so his goose is probably cooked.  

The Metropolitan Police told the Standard: “We are aware that an off-duty serving Met special constable was involved in the altercation. 

“The matter has been referred to the Directorate of Professional Standards for assessment.”

“Freedom of the press is important and journalists must be able to do their job without being subject to intimidation or harassment.”

“Officers did intervene but we recognise that there was an extended period where the journalists were put in a difficult situation which led them to leave the area. 

“Officers on duty in the area have been asked to be alert to any similar altercations in the coming days. 

“We will be reviewing the footage to identify whether any offences were committed.”

So you don't even know if the people at the scene, never mind your employee, did anything illegal?

Local residents in the London suburb, which has a large Jewish population, were filmed surrounding reporters from the Qatar-based media company on Monday, with one man telling them that “no-one needs Al Jazeera here”. Reporters from the Press Association heard the group shout at the journalists, calling them “terrorist sympathisers” and accusing them of “terrorist propaganda”.

Yes, they are. 

That Tune's Familiar: Parody Songs

Despite not being a lover of rap music, to say the least, when it’s used for parody, it’s far more tolerable. And if you know Cwmbran, this is pretty accurate! 

Every Picture Tells A Story..

 And I'd like to hear this one.

 Sent by my brother, with the caption 'Someone watched 'Raise The Titanic'....'

Easter Sunday Funnies

 Go on, have that other Creme Egg for breakfast, it could be worse...

Dedicated, Professional, Highly Trained...

 ...and a bit forgetful: 

Armed police guarding ­London Mayor Sir Sadiq Khan left a bag of guns on the street outside his home in a shocking security blunder. Five officers are believed to have forgotten the holdall, found on a kerbside at around 9.30pm on Tuesday.

Oh, we've all done it, havn't we? been so eager to knock off work we've left our building pass in our desk, and been unable to exit the building when we get to the lobby?  Well, that's me, and boy was my face red! 

That night feral youths ran riot in Clapham, just a short distance from the Mayor’s South London family home. A pregnant passer-by who saw the bag riskily kicked it before telling her partner. He took in the haul, which included an MP5 semi-automatic Heckler & Koch ­carbine, a Glock pistol, Taser and ammunition.

“She went over to it and kicked it to see what it might be. But it was really heavy and didn’t move. “It was lucky one of the guns inside didn’t go off or else she and our baby due next month could have been shot and killed.”

Well, if they were loaded, anyway, and would they have been? Who can say?  

Jordan laid the guns out on the bed and took a photo of them with his phone before calling police.

“I called the police and told them what I had found and within a few minutes they turned up to collect the guns. “When they arrived they were really shocked. They looked through the bag carefully and hurriedly took them away. “I was told they had been left there by one of Sadiq Khan’s security officers, which made sense as he lives here. “I asked the police whether there might be a reward for finding the guns and one of them said ‘We will give you a bag of sweets’.”

That's gratitude for you! 

The Met’s directorate of professional standards is investigating the circumstances and the five armed protection officers have been temporarily suspended from frontline duties pending the outcome.

Yep, no need to say it!

 

A System That Cannot Continue – But It Will, Because No-one Takes Responsibility

Behind the high fences, under the watch of CCTV cameras, there is a loud chorus of barks. When dangerous or banned dogs are seized, this is where many of them are taken.

I wayched this, it was chilling.  

Panorama was given rare access to one of the private specialist kennels now regularly used to hold these dogs since XL bully bans were introduced across the UK in 2024. The kennels take on seized or abandoned animals that police are unable to house themselves.

A place that wouldn't have to exist if only police used their ARVs at the scene of an attack and resolved the problen then and there. 

When an attack happens, Mark and his team get the call to go and seize the dog. Sometimes it is still with the body of its victim, Mark tells us.

Which puts him at risk of scenes like this one. Whatever he's paid it isn't enough.

Attacks are likely to get worse before they get better, as dogs bought before the ban reach maturity, the police tactical lead for dangerous dogs in England and Wales told us.

"The legislation doesn't work. My daughter wouldn't be dead now if it did work," Morgan Dorsett's mother, Marie Smith, told us. "The law needs to change."

 No, the application of it needs to change. But you'll go old and grey waiting for the government yo do anuthing...

In a statement, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - which deals with dangerous dogs in England and Wales - said it was "continuing to assess whether the current dog control rules are sufficient to ensure communities are protected".

What are you waiting for? 

Well, If They Had Just Executed More In The Past, They Might Not Be Forced To Do This Now

Israel's parliament has approved a law that would make the death penalty the default sentence for Palestinians convicted of deadly terror attacks.

And the useful idiots are up in arms. 

Critics, including UN human rights chief Volker Türk, have described the new law as discriminatory. Türk also said its application would "constitute a war crime".

In theory, Jewish Israelis could also be executed under the law - but in practice this almost certainly would not happen, as the death penalty could only be carried out where the intention of the attack was to "negate the existence of the state of Israel".

Well, there's plenty of liberal self-hating Jews, but they mostly operate from the US and Europe...

The Palestinian Authority, which administers the West Bank, condemned the law, saying it "seeks to legitimise extrajudicial killing under legislative cover".

Israel has only executed two people in its history - one of them the infamous Nazi official Adolf Eichmann, who played an important role in perpetrating the Holocaust.

Past time they started again, then! 

'"Just The Facts, Ma'am? "

Joe Friday wouldn't get far in the modern UK police farce, where the training leads to lying when it's politically expedient to try to cover up yet another disaster your policies have lead to:

The partner of a school caretaker who was stabbed to death by paranoid schizophrenic Valdo Calocane in Nottingham, has told an inquiry it felt like her partner had been "killed twice" - because she was first told he had died in a car crash.

Why? Because they didn't want their part in the unfolding disaster coming out, and they needed time for their PR team to get out ahead of the anguished relatives who might talk to the press. 

Mr Coates' partner, Elaine Newton, told the public inquiry into the Nottingham attacks that she was first told by police that Mr Coates had died in a road traffic accident. Ms Newton told the hearing of her initial denial that it could be Mr Coates, believing he was at work, and that it took more than four hours before she was told the truth about how her partner had actually died. She said: “They said he was in an RTA, a road accident. I said ‘He will be at work, it’s not Ian’. They said ‘No, it’s an RTA’. I said ‘Did he crash into anyone? What happened?’ “They said ‘We can’t tell you’. I said ‘Is anyone else hurt?’ and they said ‘We can’t tell you’. That’s all they were telling me for about five hours.”

Asked how it felt to be told how he had really died, Ms Newton said: “It felt like he’d been killed twice. It wasn’t right. “The first information, I accepted, but the second I couldn’t accept. You don’t know which one was true, or have they got the wrong person. It was not right, it was a mess.”

And yet another person loses what faith she had in the police.... 

Ms Newton also said she only became aware of previous incidents involving Calocane and the police during the inquiry process. She said: “I was never told any information about his past… The first time was this hearing, I didn’t know anything about any of this at all.”

Asked what she would have done had she had known this information, Ms Newton said: “I wouldn’t have thanked Kate Meynell (now-retired chief constable of Nottinghamshire Police) for all the information she gave me and for letting me come and visit her. I have lost faith in the police and I feel like I have not been given the information and have been lied to really.

Yes, you have. All the families have. So let's hope that this disgusting episode is remembered when the next atrocity happens, because there will be another one, since no lessons will have been learned. 

How do you know that, Ambush? Well, Reader, it's obvious. 

Must Be A Day With A ‘Y’ In It…

A Metropolitan Police officer failed to disclose he had been dismissed from another force 21 years ago and barred from joining a third in the latest vetting scandal.

Really, a day when the Met Police doesn’t disgrace itself must surely be coming, but that day is not yet here. 

PC Richard Fieldhouse served for around three years until his lies were uncovered in December 2022. Fieldhouse quit Hampshire Constabulary while under investigation in 2005 for breaches of “honesty and integrity” relating to his handling of a wanted suspect, a gross misconduct panel heard.

In April 2007, he applied to join Surrey Police. However, as part of its background checks Hampshire revealed Fieldhouse had once falsified a statement and been found guilty in his absence.His assessment day in Guildford, Surrey was cancelled and the force subsequently blocked him.

Gosh, what's a wanna-be crooked cop to do? Reader, you guessed it!  

Undeterred, Fieldhouse sought to join the Met in February 2019 after declaring a driving job. Although admitting to working for Hampshire and being rejected by Surrey, he simply answered “no” to a question on his application form that asked whether he had previously been admonished or subject to discipline matters by any previous employer, regulatory or professional body. 

He successfully became a constable in London four months later.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph and the wee donkey

Commander Stephen Clayman, who chaired the hearing, said: “Honesty is a fundamental requirement of any police officer."

How about competence? It seems that would be more useful, especially in your HR department. 

It is not known when he resigned from the Met, but on January 27 the ex-officer disengaged with the process and no longer wanted a Police Federation representative. Had Fieldhouse not quit, he would have been dismissed without notice for discreditable conduct. He will be placed on the College of Policing barred list.

So, are we to assume from that, that he wasn’t on it before. What does one have to do?

And Why, I Wonder, Would Anyone Have Cause To ‘Hate The BBC,’, Nihal?

Former BBC radio presenter Nihal Arthanayake, who was at Radio 1 for more than 10 years at the same time as Mills, told ITV's Good Morning Britain on Tuesday: "My first thoughts were obviously with the alleged victim here, without question.

Shouldn't the first thought have been 'Is there even a 'victim' here?; apart from Mills, that is, who appears to have suffered from the BBCs desire not to repeat past mistakes? Full disclosure here - I listen to Radio Two every day, and Mills is a presenter I liked. 

But even if he had not been, his abrupt sacking is looking like an overreaction driven by an over-cautious management, that could backfire if he decides to sue. 

"But also, Scott Mills is a human, he's a person who got his dream job that has now been taken away from him, and his validation, largely, in life, probably was defined by that job. 

Good point, shame it then descended into self pity on behalf of Auntie Beeb.... 

"Therefore, we have to be very careful. There's a current feeding frenzy going on. 

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!  

"A lot of that is driven by people who just hate the BBC, so they'll use that as a stick to beat the BBC with.

Whu eould that be, I wonder Nihal. Is it it's frequent peddling of obvious propaganda on behalf of those it has decieded are 'vulnerable minorities' instead of groups who want to change British society as it is, or who want to overthow basic principles in favour of insanity?  Is it its strangely partisan approach to what it considers to be news?

"But there is a human being - well, there's two human beings - at the centre of this."

And a lot of humans out there who are no longer willing to fund a national broadcaster that appears to hate them. 

This Isn't Good News Polly!

The news is very good (mostly). The cost of full-time childcare in England for children under the age of two has dropped by a phenomenal 39% since last year, thanks to government funding. This stat, from the 25th annual survey of nurseries by the children’s charity Coram, provides a good opportunity to stop and consider how far the country has come in that quarter-century.

As ever, Polly is, I suspect, on the wrong side of history here.  

In 1995, there were nursery vouchers for a few, but only 4% of children under five in England were in nursery: the right argued young children were the responsibility of families, not the state, and that mothers should stay at home.

And have we blossomed into a paradise as a result of scrapping that policy, Polly? Are children better behaved, women gainfully employed in vital roles? Or has it resulted in the opposite situation? 

Labour’s strong cohort of women arriving in the Commons in 1997, led by the veteran Harriet Harman with her childcare strategy, fought hard to finally add the missing cradle to the “cradle to grave” welfare state.

 When she wasn’t supporting those who wanted to have sex with them, you mean?

In 2003, the Treasury introduced child care tax credits, although more as a way to get women into work.

And now every HR department in every large organisation is chock full of women, and are we better for it?

Then, in 2004, the government extended free part-time nursery places to all three- and four-year-olds in England. That was a giant step – but every step of the way was a fight, and still is.

Free? I don’t think so. 

Since last September, parents have been able to claim 30 hours a week of state-funded childcare for children from nine months old until they start school. This could save working parents an average of £8,000 a year per child. Take note of what campaigners always said would happen: just in the past year, these extra free nursery hours have enabled nearly a third of parents to up their working hours.

Families can also save up to £450 from free breakfast clubs and £500 more in September, when half a million more children will get free school meals.

Free school meals paid for out of taxation aren’t really ‘free’ at all. As they have no choice but to admit:

Early years childcare is neither totally free nor universal. That precious 30 free hours is only during the 38 weeks of term time, so parents have to pay the holiday gap: one week for a child under the age of two can cost about £189. Funding is too low at a time of rising energy and staff costs: many nurseries also charge extra for meals, trips, nappies, sun cream, anything they can think of. Private nurseries, often run by large private equity chains, are in wealthier areas, shunning families who can’t pay for extra hours.

But here is the great perversity that undermines the key social purpose of the nursery movement: early years education does the most good for the most deprived, yet those children are ineligible for the full hours until they reach the age of three. What makes them “ineligible”? The very things that make them deprived; if their parents don’t work or work too little to earn £10,158 a year, the child gets nothing until aged two, and then only half as many hours as the rest.

This year’s report from the charity Kindred Squared found that about a third of children in England who started reception in 2025 were not ready for school. Some of them were still in nappies, not using knives and forks, not able to sit still, barely speaking and unsocialised. Some teachers felt that less time in early years education contributed to these issues.

And so, I ask a question I've already had to ask over at 'Orphans',  why aren't people raising their own children any more? 

Why Did You Stop?

The Metropolitan police has said it will resume arresting people who show support for Palestine Action just weeks after it said it would no longer do so following a high court ruling that the ban on the direct action group was unlawful.

High court rulings? Since when did you pay attention to those? You seen happy to ignore the Supreme Court, after all.... 

After last month’s judgment, the Met police said it would immediately stop arresting people for such offences under the Terrorism Act but would gather evidence for potential future prosecutions. But on Wednesday it said it had “revised” its enforcement approach, describing the statement made immediately after the high court’s decision as an “interim position”.

Something changed, and it wasn't the threat such demonstrations posed, so it must have been pressure on the police to DO THE FUCKING JOB THEY ARE PAID FOR. 

Deputy assistant commissioner James Harman said: “While the high court has found the proscription of Palestine Action to be unlawful, it has confirmed the impact of that judgment will not take effect until the government’s appeal has been considered which could take many months. 

“That means it is still a criminal offence to support Palestine Action. 

How do you get to be a deputy assistant comissioner without understanding the law? 

“We must enforce the law as it is at the time, not as it might be at a future date. We must do that consistently and without fear or favour.”

Yes, you must. So isn't it long overdue for you to actually give it a go?  

Tweet Of The Month

 

And this is a worr of pure genius:

Post Title Of The Month

 Longrider once again knocks it out of the park with this one:

Quote Of The Month

 Bucko on the most bizarre take on a subject by the Guardian, one which also puzzled Tim:

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the whole purpose of Britains version of ICE was to single out non-white, foreign born workers? Ok, fair enough, I'm sure there are many white illegals in this country, but if you're looking for illegals in an Indian restaurant, you're not there for the Albanians"

Post Of The Month

 Nick Drew at Capitalists@Work on the subject everyone wants to avoid considering....

The Men Of No Appearance (Except Technical Nationality) Strike Again!

Two men who were arrested over the arson attack on Jewish charity-owned ambulances in north London have been released on bail, the Metropolitan Police has said.

And are they as we suspected? 

The men, British nationals aged 47 and 45, were arrested on Wednesday on suspicion of arson with intent to endanger life and have now been bailed until April.

Well, that hides a multitude of possibilities these days, doesn’t it? 

Cdr Helen Flanagan, head of Counter Terrorism Policing London, said there were "strict bail conditions in place while we continue to investigate their suspected involvement in this incident". 

"We continue to work to try and identify all of those involved in this appalling attack and the investigation team is working around the clock to do this," she said.

Oh, so it’s being investigated as terrorism? 

Although the case is not being classed as a terror incident, the Met said the investigation is currently being led by counter-terror officers. The Met previously said the investigation was looking at an Islamist group with potential links to Iran, following unsubstantiated claims of responsibility by Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamiya - The Islamic Movement of the People of the Right Hand.

Oh. 

Well no doubt all sorts will claim responsibility. Some of them might even be truly foreign.

The BBC has also seen CCTV footage which shows three men approaching the synagogue in February. Members of the Jewish community now believe this could have been a surveillance attempt before the attack this week. The footage, which has since been handed to police, shows a man trying to pull a locked door handle. When challenged, they said they were looking for a local mosque.

Oh,BBC! Bag open, cat frolicking in plain sight! 

Possession Of These Dogs Is Always By Those Who Should Not Have Them....

 Prove me wrong! 

The 31-year-old, who runs a recovery business transporting cars, said he did not come home after being called by police because he was driving illegally after being disqualified from driving - and did not want to be caught.

This is the ongoing trial of Sean Garner, 31, who denies being the owner of the hellhound that ate a pensioner alive despite valient efforts by neighbours to come to his aid:

Courageous members of the public used makeshift weapons - including a broomstick, a golf club and a spirit level - as they attempted to rescue Mr McColl, who was screaming 'Help Me!'. Police had to shoot the dog ten times to neutralise it - nine times with a pistol and once with a shotgun - the court heard previously. Police 'did not take any chances' with the second dog, Malibu, who was shot dead at the scene as well.

And no wonder. Surely only Jim Corbett or Kenneth Anderson have witnessed such a scene of horror, and that not in an English suburban garden, but in a jungle where it is to be expected: 

Prosecutor Birrell previously gave the jury graphic details of the injuries suffered by Mr McColl, who died in hospital a month after the attack. The hound had 'eaten him alive, he said, adding parts of Mr McColl's face were found in the animal's stomach when vets cut it open. 

He said: 'It guarded him as if he were his prey. It had savaged him. 

'There was no food in the dog's stomach, just parts of John McColl's face. And bits of plastic. 

'The dog had attacked Mr McColl and it would just not let him go,' he added.

Always owned by the wrong people, perhaps because there's no right person to own one of these things.When he was called by the police to surrender himself for this atrocity, he sent his pregnant partner to face the music. This tells you all you need to know about the calibre of the man, doesn't it?

As does the lies he relied on to keep him out of trouble:

He also ran an Instagram page called Little and Large Bullies, the court heard, which he used to promote dogs for breeding. Garner has admitted he advertised Malibu for breeding as an XL bully, but he claimed it was because it was easier to sell puppies from that breed.

Reader, it wasn't. He knew what he had, and he knew that there were men like him out there that would want to buy these things. 

Garner denies being the owner of a dog which caused injury while dangerously out of control. He has previously admitted two counts of possessing an XL bully without an exemption certificate relating to Toretto and Malibu. XL bullies were banned in December 2023. 

The trial continues.

I would say its a foregone conclusion, but who really knows with the state of the UK justice system? 

And Yet, They Can’t Do The Same To Dinghies In The English Channel

British forces are now "ready to act" to board and detain ships in Russia's so-called shadow fleet in UK waters, the defence secretary has said.Ministers identified a legal basis in January that would allow forces to board sanctioned vessels, but approval for the military measure was not given by the prime minister until Thursday.

Sounds about right for the current incumbent of Number 10! 

Questioned on why that decision had not come sooner, John Healey told BBC Radio 4's Today programme "what operations like this require is training, preparation, understanding discussion with allies [and] a clear legal basis".

Aren't they all things one would expect the navy to already possess, and if not, to be able to practice in peacetime on the hordes invading our country via the Channel?  

Sir Keir Starmer said the move would starve "Putin's war machine of the dirty profits that fund his barbaric campaign".

While Two-tier Kier's sabotaging his own campaign... roll on May! 

Its Funny, Until You Realise You Can't Afford To Drive To Sainsburys...

 

...but we can't blame Matt for that.

Sunday Funnies...

 And amazingly, none is Oliver Reed!

Would You Take Medical Advice From A Charity Like This One?

However, quizzed about the appointment, Endometriosis South Coast said it was 'scientifically inaccurate' to claim only women experienced endometriosis - and that it also affected trans, non-binary and intersex people.

It can only affect people who possess wombs; which is at least possible for the last two but impossible for the first... 

Human rights activist Steph Richards, 73, has been handed the role of parliamentary engagement officer for Endometriosis South Coast, it is reported. Ms Richards, a trans woman who was born male, previously stepped down as the charity's CEO in 2024 following backlash from women's rights campaigners. In her new position she will represent the charity to members of parliament (MPs), while continuing to act as chief executive for trans campaign group TransLucent, which she founded.

And of course, he is referred to as female throughout the news reports. So the MSM is actively participating in the charade.

The charity said that Ms Richards was 'a volunteer in a parliamentary engagement capacity' and was appointed on the basis of her talents. They added: 'The ability to advocate meaningfully for a condition does not require personally having that condition; this standard is applied consistently across healthcare, policy, and the voluntary sector, and we apply it here, too.'

Weasel words, no, we don’t expect the CEO of an amputee charity to be an amputee, but we’d expect him to be human. 

Strange Bedfellows

The Home Office is investigating a company linked to a religious sect based in Cheshire over its use of immigration visas.

Which religion? Glad you asked , Reader…

The company under investigation is linked to the Ahmadi Religion of Peace and Light (AROPL), a sect that blends tenets of Islam with conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and aliens controlling US presidents.

Well, I’m shocked!

Followers believe the sect’s leader, Abdullah Hashem, can cure the sick and make the moon disappear. About 100 of his followers live in a former orphanage in Crewe, in the north-west of England.

Why are they here? Because Switzerland were too smart to let them be a drain and a threat in their country, but we weren't. 

The community moved to the UK in 2021, after transferring their headquarters from Sweden, where immigration authorities investigated several companies linked to the sect and issued deportation orders to dozens of its members.

And so now they are burrowed into the country like a parasite: 

Now, immigration officials in the UK are looking into a company linked to the sect over its use of skilled worker visas to bring people into the country.

Skilled? In what? Are we not entitled to ask?  

That's Not Good, We Need More Than 10% Of Them Gone

Labour will be decimated in May local elections, Unite leader says.Sharon Graham tells party to ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ after ‘shameful’ handling of Birmingham bin strike.

Yes, I know its the modern definition of 'decimation' being used here, but I'm a pedant.. 

In a speech to refuse workers near a waste depot in Tyseley on Thursday, Sharon Graham said working people were moving away from Labour in droves and called on the party to “wake up and smell the coffee”. “We are in one of the most significant strikes in decades,” she said. “An attack from a Labour council under a Labour government. Labour should hang their heads in shame. They are an absolute disgrace.”

The winners of this are up for grabs, but Dave Paulden's mob are likely to be in with a chance, after all, the effects of the strike are attracting all the big vermin.

The strikes, which could last beyond September, will be a key issue in Birmingham in the May local elections, when all 101 council seats are up for grabs.

One year on from the start of the all-out strike, Unite announced it had voted to cut its affiliation fee to Labour by 40%, or £580,000, over its handling of the bin strikes.

Good timeing, as it turned out!  

The union was fined £265,000 earlier this week after its members were found to have breached an injunction which prohibited blockades of waste lorries at depots. Graham said the fine would be paid for by the cut to Labour’s affiliation fee.

The council are in a no win situation. 

The council said it had “reached the absolute limit of what we can offer”, citing the risk of further equal pay claims being made if it acceded to the union’s demands.

Jimmy, an agency worker, said had been stressful to be on strike for such a long time. He said he had previously been a Labour supporter, but would be voting Reform in the local elections. “Labour, they don’t stand up for the working person any more,” he said.

 They never did, Jimmy, not really.

The council’s leader, John Cotton, said it had been in contact with the union to “end this stalemate” and that he wanted to “get round the table with Unite as soon as possible”.

If he can climb ovrt the mountain of uncollected rubbish outside the council office, that is... 

Boys. The Word You're Struggling For Is 'Boys'.

Transgender girls will be forced to leave Girlguiding by the start of the autumn after the organisation was accused of prioritising their needs over safeguarding.

A long overdue climbdown. 

Bosses said today all trans girls – those born male but identifying as female – must stop attending Guides, Brownies and Rainbows groups from September 6.

Why not 'immediately'?  They weren't admitted in a staged fashion, after all...but let no one say they are finally doing the right thing, they have had to be dragged kicking and screaming to this point: 

The move follows an announcement in December which stated Girlguiding was no longer accepting trans girls and membership would in future be limited to 'girls and young women'.It came in response to the Supreme Court ruling in April last year that 'woman' in the Equality Act 2010 referred to a biological woman – meaning single-sex spaces should be preserved.

And they were pressured by a mother who objected to her daughter attending with mentally ill males, and threatend to sue. 

In a statement, Girlguiding said it had consulted lawyers, members, its council and board of trustees before making its final decision.

Who no doubt told it; 'You'll lose'. 

Oh, Jonathan, Of Course That's The Point Of Them...

 

Don't you understand? 

Consider this month alone. On 6 March, four men were arrested in London and Hertfordshire suspected of gathering information on potential targets: synagogues and individual Jews. Over the following days, gunmen opened fire on three synagogues in Toronto. The day after that, it was the turn of a synagogue in Liège, targeted by a bomb. On 12 March came the attack on Temple Israel in Michigan, followed the next day by the arrest of four youths on suspicion of exploding a device outside a synagogue in Rotterdam. The next day, a bomber struck a Jewish school in Amsterdam. The day after that, French prosecutors launched an investigation into two brothers said to be plotting a “lethal and antisemitic” attack. Inside their car were found a loaded semi-automatic weapon and a bottle of hydrochloric acid.

The perpetrators carefully not identified. 

And I am thinking of the progressives who suggest attacks on Jews are not, in fact, antisemitism, but merely opposition to Israel. So that, say, a brick through a window of a London shop associated with Jews, blood-red graffiti painted on its walls, is something other than a threat to Jews and Jewish life. That it’s really about international capitalism or tangential associations with a country thousands of miles away.

Well, Jonathan, you won't have to go far to find some of those, will you? the 'Guardian' cafeteria will suffice, after all. 

Is This Police Report To Be Believed?

A 12-year-old boy has been charged with sexual assault after a woman was found with serious injuries at an address in Birmingham.

12 years old? Well, I'm sure no-one will disbelieve the police, will they? I meany they said this guy was 23...

THE FACE OF EVIL

This is the migrant who just stabbed 3 people in Edinburgh, Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

A woman and two men may have lost their lives because of this psycho

He should never have been here

CLOSE THE BORDERS
NOW https://t.co/1bhuEVw0D3 pic.twitter.com/PhexfY9qFb

— Basil the Great (@BasilTheGreat) March 2, 2026

 Being a juvenile, he'll be treated with kid gloves, of course...

The accused, who cannot be named legally due to his age, was also separately charged with intentional strangulation in connection with a woman being confronted in a street last month, police added.

"The boy, who cannot be named due to his age, is remanded to appear before Birmingham Youth Court tomorrow, March 24."

And it's not just boys. 

Three schoolgirls, aged 12, 13, and 14, have been charged after a teenager was 'stabbed five times in her back, back of her neck and arm'. The 14-year-old victim had returned home covered in blood after allegedly being stabbed in a village park in Whittington, Worcester, at around 7.40pm September 21 last year. The child was then rushed to Birmingham Children's Hospital following reports of 'screaming' from neighbours, where it was later confirmed she had no internal damage but was left with scarring.

What is going on with youth crime in the UK?  And when will the authorities get a grip on it?

What is happening to this bloody country!!! My daughter has been informed by school that her TWELVE year old daughter (my granddaughter) has been found on a 'stab list'.

So the son of recent African immigrants, who has only been here maybe a year and has been caught at least…

— ΞlZorillo 🇬🇧 ☩ ✞ (@softlads) March 23, 2026

So Much For The Wisdom Of Crowds, Then

 That's if this is true, and since it's in the 'Guardian', caveat emptor...

Political elites are out of step with the public appetite for net zero, according to analysis that identifies rightwing media narratives as fuelling a false backlash against climate action. Media coverage of net zero is more than twice as likely to be negative than public attitudes and is driving a false perception that net zero policies are unpopular with voters, the analysis found.

They probably are, until the bills start to mount up. 

This echo chamber of elite opinion, the analysis says, has led to a situation where MPs significantly underestimate public support for climate policies and overestimate public opposition to local clean energy infrastructure projects.

As if public suppotrt matters to prospective (and standing) MPs anymore. Of course, the people pushing this theory are the lanyard classes again..

Becca Massey-Chase, the head of citizen engagement at the Institute for Public Policy Research, who coauthored the analysis, said the research showed claims of a voter backlash against net zero were “largely a political myth”.She said: “The British public continues to support climate action.... The real danger is not public opinion – it is elite division and media narratives creating a false sense of risk.”

The analysis, jointly prepared by the IPPR, a progressive thinktank, and Persuasion UK, a non-profit that researches influences on public opinion, noted that the UK’s increasingly assertive far right caricatured net zero as a threat to UK sovereignty.

See?

...a strong core of 40% of voters remain strongly behind net zero, almost double the 24% who are implacably opposed to it.

 Until they have to pay for them, then they change their tune. But by then, the song's over amd the musucians have packed up their instruments and gone home.

"Turn It Off, Sarge, It's Doing The Job Too Well! "

Essex Police has paused the use of live facial recognition cameras (LFR) after a study found they identified more black people than other ethnic groups.

Identified them incorrectly? No, dear Reader, not at all: 

The cameras are mounted on vans and designed to identify people on watchlists if they pass by.They found it correctly identified around half of those on the watchlist, and that it was "extremely rare" for someone to be flagged up if they weren't on the list.

So, it worked. The only problem was, it highlighted how many criminals are black. and in today's modern police farce, that's a crime in itself. 

But the study found it was "statistically significantly more likely" to correctly identify black people than other ethnicities. It was also "more likely" to spot men than women.

Well, these days, so many men are pretending to be women, its hardly a surprise!  

Knock Yourself Out, Frances, They Still Exist.

Frances Ryan has found another thing wrong with modern society:

...when it comes to watching films on the platforms, I am one extortionate paywall away from buying a DVD player off eBay and Googling: “Does Blockbuster still exist?”

What’s the problem? 

It is not simply that Netflix and co are killing cinema – although, yes, that is a thing that is objectively bad. It is that the advent of streaming has made watching a movie in your own home more costly, more restricted and often incredibly annoying.

Really? Is this part of Frances' disability then? 

Nowadays, if you rent a film that has recently been released it’ll cost you up to £20, far more than if you saw it in most cinemas – plus you’re paying the electric and heating bills.

Rubbish! I watched 'Zootopia 2' at the weekend, a film that was in the cinema at Christmas, on Disney+, it cost me nothing extra, whate sort of niche vieeing is she after?

When I fancied rewatching Sense and Sensibility recently, it struck me how it had become the norm to have to search through Netflix, Prime and Disney+ to work out which one currently owns the rights to each film. I eventually unearthed it on iPlayer. I think it was quicker for Jane Austen to write the novel.

You can just google that, you know... 

My personal loathing is what I pettily insist on calling Prime’s “double paywall”, in which Amazon blocks off popular films from its own subscribers unless they stump up a £3.49 rental charge on top of the £8.99 we’re already paying monthly.

I just want to be able to rewatch a beloved film without helping Jeff Bezos buy another yacht.

What do you care what he spends his money on? Is that the real issue? 

But Your Story And Experience Doesn't Match Up With It

Bafta-winning actress Wunmi Mosaku says she found parts of herself "I thought I had lost or tried to dim as an immigrant trying to fit in" as she took the best supporting actress prize for her role in the film Sinners.

She's playing a Voodoo priestess, but what exactly in her own history makes this an 'authentic experience'..? 

The 39-year-old, who was born in Nigeria and grew up in Manchester, has drawn widespread acclaim for her role as Hoodoo priestess Annie in the musical horror film.She moved with her family from the historic Nigerian city of Zaria to Manchester when she was a one-year-old baby.

The only thing they would appear to have in common is their skin colour. Isn't that, well, racist? Not to mention cultural appropriation? 

Mosaku said: "I found a part of myself in Annie, a part of my hopes, my ancestral power and connection, parts I thought I had lost or tried to dim as an immigrant trying to fit in."

Not trying very hard, then, clearly. 

Speaking at the winners' press conference, she said: "It always feels good when you feel like your story and your experience is being represented with integrity and creativity. She said she had been pleased to see "the response of black women feeling seen, loved, valued, treasured, and the power of our ancestry and the spirituality".

What a load of bollocks!  

If You're Going to Team Up With A Well-Known IP To Flog Your Wares...

 

...shouldn't you study how it works first?

Sunday Funnies...

 No 20 certainly deserve to do better...

What’s Up With Firearms Licensing In Scotland!?

I caught the BBC documentary on Dunblane last weekend and it raised a few issues I was previously unawere of. 

The first being I'd always assumed that the petition to ban handguns was led by the bereaved paerents but no, the documentary showed it was set uo by three women unconnected to the tragedy except by living in Dunblane, of a type we would now dub 'Karens', who took it upon themselves to run the petition which eventually was succesful in banning handgun despite the official Cullen inquiry not suggesting such a step was necessary. 

The second thing was that there was no mention of the perpetrator 'at the request of the interviwees' and so the programme was rather incomplete. of course, no mention of the perpetrator meant no mention of the culpability of those authorities you were begging for help from!

Then in the week, this story caught my eye:

A gamekeeper who trapped a rare bird of prey in a cage before beating it to death was caught out by a covert surveillance operation.Russell Mason, 49, lured the protected goshawk into a baited trap before battering it several times with a cosh to cause its agonising death.

Mason was previously placed on the sex offenders register after being spotted carrying out a solo sex act in his car by a resident of a sheltered housing complex.

To be a gamekeeper requires that one hold a shotgun license doesn't it?  What are the police doing that they are handing a registered sex offender a firearms licence? Didn't they learn that lesson 30 years ago? 

.

And Hopefully, You've Learned A Lesson...

An experienced magistrate has been given a warning for misconduct after making a 'racist' comment on WhatsApp during a discussion about Winston Churchill. Derek Muhammad JP made the comment in a private message group during an 'intellectual discussion about the complex legacy of Winston Churchill and the colonial history of Britain'.

Oh ho ho. How I love to see people hoist on their own petard...

But, another member of the group complained it was 'racially prejudiced' and left them in a state of 'distress'.

Deploying the ultimate weapon of the once-great British judicial system: 'I'm offended!'

Bedfordshire-based Mr Muhammad, who has been a magistrate for almost 20 years, denied the comment was racist and claimed it had actually been a 'criticism of colonial exploitation'. He added that he could not be prejudiced against people 'with whom he shares ancestry'. But, despite his protestations, Mr Muhammad has now been given formal advice for misconduct.

I wonder if at any time throughout this process he had second thoughts on the wisdom of becoming part of such a captured enterprise as the modern judicial system. I do hope so. 

In Today's 'No Shit,Sherlock! News...

Cannabis is not an effective treatment for common mental health conditions despite the global surge in patients using it for that purpose, a review has found.

No! I’m astonished to find that out! 

Researchers concluded there was “very little evidence for its efficacy” in treating anxiety, anorexia nervosa, psychotic disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder or opioid use disorder. Experts from universities in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne in Australia and Bath in England undertook the largest and most comprehensive analysis to date of the evidence for using cannabinoids – cannabis-based therapies – to treat substance misuse and mental health disorders.

Well, you could knock me down with a feather!  

Sir Robin Murray, a professor of psychiatric research at King’s College London, said: “While people such as me consider that the therapeutic benefits of cannabis are extremely limited, and the side effects common, the world doesn’t believe this.

Well, you wouldn't be the first (or only) expert who is no longer trusted as you once would have been, but in this instance you should be.

“Bolstered by the claims of the cannabis industry and the rapidly increasing cannabis clinics in the UK, many people are misled into using cannabis to treat their problems. In my view, the UK cannabis clinics operate as drug dealers for the middle class.”

The middle class? I though that they were all on Charlie? Pot strikes me as a lower class drug... 

You Didn't Get This In 'Dixon Of Dock Green's Day...

A Metropolitan Police officer who lied about her newborn daughter’s real father was caught out speaking to her lover by a dog camera in the family home.

Not skilled in surveillance techniques and how to ensure against them then!  

The sergeant’s firefighter husband “did not question paternity” when she suddenly announced she was pregnant in January 2022, a gross misconduct hearing was told.But in June of the following year, he logged on to the “doggy cam” while at work and saw her talking to a male colleague on FaceTime. He overheard the word “daddy”. It later emerged she had sent the love rat policeman a Father’s Day card.

/facepalm  

When confronted by her husband, the officer said she “had an idea” of the true biological parent - but “wanted an easy life” and hoped her husband “would never find out”. But a disciplinary panel chaired by Matt Simmons heard a midwife nearly gave the game away when she revealed her exact conception date.Officer A tried to convince the nurse this was impossible as her embarrased other half - who attended the 12-week hospital scan - would have been working a night shift so they couldn’t have slept together.Despite their child being born a week earlier than the October due date, he still had no suspicions and agreed there was a physical resemblance.

How naive was he!? 

A devastating DNA test revealed the truth in July.

i wonder who requested it..? 

Mr Simmons found Officer A wilfully provided false information at the Registry Office about her daughter’s father on November 17, 2022 and again on April 14, 2023 after the marriage. After finding discreditable conduct proved at a gross misconduct level, she was dismissed without notice.

Another vacancy at the Met…. 

Let Me Take A Guess? Is It Idiots?

Apparently yes, it’s idiots. Or as we now call them, ‘biohackers and heath optimisers:

Grey-market injectable peptides – a category of substances with obscure, alphanumeric names such as BPC-157, GHK-Cu, or TB-500 – have developed a devoted following among biohackers and health optimisers.

Like 'influencers', a modern-day pestilence spread by the Internet...

Driving While Diverse

A drug driver who ploughed into the central reservation of the M1 before continuing with a missing wheel has been jailed.

Yes, Reader, you guessed it… 

Omar Makhluf, 20, drove for several miles before finally pulling over at a service station near Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire.The crash happened on the motorway’s northbound stretch after Toddington, Bedfordshire at around 3.30pm on February 16 last year. Despite damage to his car, Makhluf, of Keel Close, Barking in east London drove on three wheels and was then filmed getting out of the vehicle at junction 14 for Newport Pagnell.

Bang to rights! 

When told the grounds for his arrest at the service station, he replied: “I didn’t do dangerous driving.”In police interview, Makhluf struggled to stay awake and yawned while officers questioned him.

That won’t have endeared him to the investigators.

He was sentenced to 22 months and disqualified for four years for this offence and other matters elsewhere in the country. 

I wonder what the ‘Other matters’ were, and why the reporter doesn’t see fit to inform us?

At Last, The 'Guardian' Sees A Problem... .

The prime minister’s spokesperson is right that “only by using a combination of reform, investment and efficiency, can we hope to turn the tide on the backlog and deliver the faster and fairer justice the victims deserve” in the criminal courts (Labour lawyers ‘blocked’ from briefing MPs on jury trials overhaul before vote, 9 March). But curtailing the right to jury trial will have a minimal effect on the backlog.

And it's not the curtailing of an age old part of our justice system - in true guardian fashion its the potential effect the ethnic minorities foisted on us that concern them most.

Jury trials are not the cause of the backlog. Furthermore, the government’s proposals will disproportionately impact Black complainants, witnesses and defendants. The random selection of jurors from local communities ensures that they are far more likely to reflect the cultural heritage of people appearing in court.

Who says this is the greatest concern? Why, of course, its one of those who've infiltrated our justice ststem and hollowed it out, of course: 

In 2025, there were only five circuit judges who identified as Black or Black British. Curtailing jury trial is bound to add to what David Lammy described in 2017 as a “chronic trust deficit” towards the criminal justice system.

Nic Madge Retired circuit judge, St Albans, Hertfordshire

Youve done enough, Nic, enjoy retirment. 

Why Do We Need These?

Calls for bleed kits to be installed in every major bus station and on bus routes in areas affected by serious violence have been backed by the London Assembly.

These kits were designed for warzones - that they are wanted in transport hubs tells you all you need to know about the safety of public transport in London these days.

Assembly Members unanimously passed a motion requesting that Transport for London (TfL) to work with the London Ambulance Service (LAS) to ensure the kits will be made available across the network. Bleed control kits help stem severe bleeding from deep wounds before emergency services arrive – a "potentially valuable method of saving lives".

Is it saving valuable lives though? 

The motion is non-binding, which means the mayor is not obliged to implement the recommendation.

Well, surely they’ll agree, since they won’t want their oh-so-valuable diversity killing one another off… 

Elly Baker, Labour's transport spokesperson proposed the motion. "I've heard too often from young people that they don't always feel as safe as they should do travelling," she said. "Passing this motion will show that we are listening to young people and backing the investigation of a potentially valuable method of saving lives."

Yes, let’s not find ways of stopping the stabbing, let’s just make it less potentially lethal when they do it. 

The Vehicle They were in, Obviously ..

OUTRAGE! about a shooting in the middle east, because those Jews have had the temerity to defend themselves again:

A spokesperson for the Israeli police said the Bani Odeh family had been killed during a joint operation with the Israeli military. Forces opened fire on the vehicle when they “perceived an immediate threat” after it accelerated, the statement said.

Asked what threat was posed by four young children and their unarmed parents...

The car itself, obviously which could hace contained a bomb.  Still, I expect Nesrine will get another column out of it.

Might As Well Ask For The Moon On A Stick, Love...

...as ask for responibility in dog owners.

"The owner and the dog had disappeared by the time we got there – there was nothing we could do." Farmer Isobel Connell recently lost eight lambs after a dog chased and attacked them while its owner looked on. Her farm in the Chiltern Hills near Henley-on-Thames has been subjected to even worse attacks - 10 years ago 68 lambs and 19 ewes were killed by two loose Labradors.

Yes, labradors. Despite what some owners believe, your fat sleepy labrador is just as likely to worry likestock, given the opportunity, as the chav down the road's semi-feral xl bully. All dogs descend from wolves after all.

"We have our phone number on all the gates and somebody rang to tell us what had happened," Isobel says. She was told there were a "lot of lambs dotted around covered in blood with a lot of wool loose". She rushed to the scene, but by then it was too late, with the lambs left either dead, dying, or heavily injured. "The dog owner was nowhere to be seen, they'd scarpered," she says. "It's harrowing, and it gets you really, really down."

Get yourself a gun and protect them yourself - you'll never be able to rely on dog owners to be responsible.

 

Such A 'Piece Of Nothing' That You Felt Compelled To Write A Column About It

I refer, of course, to the past that haunts Green party leader Zack Polanski. As his star has risen, so have the number of people ready to share their opinion on why they would never vote for him. I’ve met Greens who deplore his focus on social justice, considering it fatally undermining of the real cause, which is environmentalism. ... But then there are the people who would never vote Green because of that time in 2013, and I’m going to run through the details in full, because a lot of these Green refuseniks are hazy on them; they just know that it happened, and it gives them the ick. At that time Polanski was a hypnotherapist, and a Sun journalist approached him wanting to know if she could “boost cup with mind”.

Ah, it was that cunning 'Sun' journalist that done poor David wrong, is that the line that you're taking, Zoe?

As a twist of fate, then, it is staggering, but as an indication of Polanski’s character, it is a frippery. He wasn’t touting his services as a boob-magician. He was just a hypnotherapist being polite to a client with very strong motivation in that area. I guess the ideal hypnotherapist-later-progressive-politician response would have been: “No, the power of the mind won’t help you here, and anyway, you’re fine as you are and your insecurity is just internalised patriarchal oppression.” But we are where we are, and this story is a piece of nothing.

Well, sure, that's why you've used your column to leap to his defence, with the claim that he's just naive, not a chancer on the make. 'Stand by your man' isn't just a song it's a political statement for you then. 

Playing The Police And Justice System Like A Fiddle...

Stacy Sharples admitted to making up the allegations against ten men many of whom spent hours in police custody and months on bail. She even bragged to one of her victims that the police were 'not pressing charges. I've got away with it. Yet again.' 

But she's not boasting now, because they finally had enough.

None of the men she accused were charged. Her false allegations cost the taxpayer a 'conservative estimate' of £120,000 due to wasted police, legal and medical time, Bolton Crown Court heard.

She should be fined to pay every penny of that back. 

After Sharples was arrested, she said to police: 'You need to look into my mental health. That's all I need to say. You'll never understand, I had a s*** upbringing. 

'I'm a ticking timebomb, you flip me off and I'll flip back.'

She knows exactly wkich buttons to press. 

Sharples, of Farnworth, pleaded guilty to ten counts of perverting the course of justice. She will be sentenced on March 11.

And whay penaltys will the police face, for having gone along with her claims?