So Do You Not Have A Description Of The ‘Men’ Either…?

Detectives are appealing for witnesses after a woman was raped by a group of men in a churchyard in an Oxfordshire town.

‘Men’ of no obvious appearance again? 

Officers said they wanted to trace a “Good Samaritan” they believe might have tried to help the woman as well as anyone else who might have information. The woman, who is in her 30s, was raped by a group of men at St Mary’s Church’s churchyard and the surrounding area of Banbury town centre, police said.

And a witness of no appearance too? 

DS Mark Personius, the investigating officer, said: “This is a horrific crime and Thames Valley police is conducting a thorough investigation to identify the offenders. “I am making a public appeal to a specific witness, a woman, who we believe may have tried to help the victim. At this stage, we don’t have a description of this Good Samaritan. However, if you believe you are the woman, please contact the police as you may have vital information that can help us piece together what happened.”

You don't appear to have anything to 'piece together', or are you simply not telling us what you do have deliberately? The police do, after all, have form for this. 

It Doesn't Take The Detecting Skills Of Sherlock Holmes, Does It?

A celebrated DJ and his fiancé claim they were subjected to homophobic abuse by staff at a central London department store.

Who would do such a thing? Are there any clues?

DJ Fat Tony, real name Tony Marnach, claims he and partner David Graham were threatened with violence and called “batty men” by a security guard at House of Fraser.

Hmmm....

Mr Marnach, 50, has been DJing for 30 years and counts Boy George among his friends. He said he asked the workers what their “problem” was, only to be told: “I ain’t got no problem with you.”

He alleges the worker kissed her teeth at him.

Elementary!

HMMONA*

A gay couple have told of their constant struggle with homophobia in Haringey.

Teacher Siobhan Wesley and her partner, charity worker Patricia Macleod, say they are subjected to threatening sexual and homophobic abuse in public on an almost daily basis.

By…whom?

Ms Wesley, 29, said: “All the time this happens, we’re just walking along the street and we get people yelling sexual insults at us, men shouting what they’d like us to do to them and people just screaming ‘lezzers’ at us.”

Old met, short men, fat men, white men? Predominantly one type, or a varied selection?

Surely it’d help to know?

Ms Wesley said : “There’s a really nice community feel in Green Lanes, it’s one of the things we love most about Haringey.

“We feel that more could be done to educate both schoolchildren and adults about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people and communities.

“For adults particularly, making them aware that queer people exist in this area, that it’s completely normal and that the comments they make are offensive and against the law is vital.

“We’re grateful for the existing support structures in place but if these things are still happening, this regularly, then more needs to be done.”

Oh, of course. Education, education, education, eh ladies? Sheep-dip the entire population of Haringey…

*Homophobic Mostly Men Of No Appearance

*GASP* Arrest These Relatives For Racism Immediately!

Family members … sat in court holding hands at the judge handed down the sentence.

In a statement after the hearing, they said: "On this day, there is no celebration, for we have forever lost a dearly loved daughter, sister, mother and friend. "

"Her life was cut short in the most brutal manner, by a barbaric man, with out-dated and backward ideals. "

How dare they!

Oh. Hang on…

OK. Never mind.

Keep Grinding, Wheels Of Justice...

At last, a name:

The Bromley woman accused of attacking a fellow shopper with a trolley in a moment of rage has been charged with manslaughter.

Melanie Buck, of Chelford Road, appeared at Bromley Magistrates’ Court last Wednesday (February 19).

For readers unfamiliar with this story, read on:

The 32-year-old is alleged to have struck Michael Buckley, 60, with her shopping trolley at Intu’s Marks & Spencer in December 2012, causing him to fall to the floor.

She was first arrested on suspicion of GBH four days after the incident with Mr Buckley, of Whatman Road, Forest Hill, suffering a broken hip and wrist.

Buck was bailed until March 26 but when Mr Buckley died in hospital earlier that month following further health complications she was arrested for manslaughter.

Definitely one to watch...

And You Were Playing The MONA Game So Well…

No descriptions, no details of the suspects, just the usual MONA-tastic reports we’ve come to expect and then…  

These are CCTV images of two suspects wanted in connection with the murder of a man with learning difficulties who was stabbed in a west London street.

  Whoops! Cat right out of the bag!

Police: Tough On Gun Crime....

...unless it's, y'know, them doing it:

Three men who were arrested in Doncaster following the incident in Murton have been released without further action, said North Yorkshire Police.

A force spokesman said: “There was not enough evidence to pursue a prosecution. The case has been closed pending any further information coming to light.”

 Hmmm...

A police chief subsequently sought to reassure local residents they were not put at risk at any time, and also responded to a complaint by one villager that the crime was not initially publicised by North Yorkshire Police.

 Well, well, well....

Supt Lisa Winward, York Safer Neighbourhood Commander, said: “We are satisfied that this was an isolated incident which did not pose a threat to the wider community.”

It's OK, Lisa, love. We know just what you mean by that...

Gosh, Whatever Could She Mean..?

Another witness, who was outside the nightclub, said: ‘The paramedics were trying to resuscitate the guy on the stretcher outside the club. He was covered in blood and looked naked. I think the guy was dead when they got him into the ambulance, he looked in a bad way. Armed police were standing outside the venue. It is unbelievable this could happen on Christmas night.’

Yes, it's the festive shooting in, of all places, the West End. Just yards from theatres (including the Apollo) and expensive restaurants...

The Avalon is a nightclub, but also has a bar and a cocktail lounge in its basement. Their website describes the club as ‘a revitalised venue that oozes creativity and class’ which brings ‘a unique and stylish vibe to the heart of the West End’s party scene’.

Doesn't sound like the sort of place that you'd...

Ah.

She added: ‘I'm worried for my safety, I’d rather just not take the risk with certain raves now. Doesn't feel worth it.’

Say no more...

MONA* - Yr Doin' It Wrong...

Yes, it's wheelchair user vs BuggyMum again, in the gladiatorial arena of the local bus route in Erith:

Mark Hibberd (Ed: great 'folded arms & frowning' pic, by the way. Worthy of APILN), 39, of Masefield Close, says he asked the 229 bus driver to request passengers with buggies to fold them so he could move into the wheelchair space at around 3.30pm on Nov 14.

He claims the driver told him the passengers had refused to do so and that Mr Hibberd could not come on board.

Mr Hibberd, who suffers from dystonic cerebral palsy, told News Shopper: "The wheelchair/buggy area had two buggies in it but both were empty.

"I called out to ask the driver to ask for the buggies to be folded so that I could get into the relevant space.

"I was told to ‘f*** off’.

"I said that I was going to put in a formal complaint and asked him his name and he told me 'Joe Bloggs' and sarcastically asked what I was going to do about that.’"

Go to the local newspaper, of course!

The bus company sighs and shrugs and says 'Whaddayagonnado?':

Ken Davidson, TfL’s head of bus operations, said: "We are always concerned when wheelchair users experience problems using our services.

"In this instance we understand the bus driver used an automated announcement requesting that the owners of the buggies move or fold them to enable Mr Hibberd to board the bus.

"Sadly the buggy owners chose not to do so."

Maybe a £5500 compo claim (and fine) will change your mind that that's all you need to do in these cases?

But what sort of women won't fold empty buggies in the first place?

Kath Forrest, of Brook Street in Erith, was waiting at the same bus stop near Colyers Lane and said although she did not hear a profanity, the driver’s attitude was "patronising, unprofessional and unhelpful".

The 62-year-old said: "Mark told me what happened, so I got on and stood at the front of the bus and said ‘could you please fold your buggies? He is a wheelchair user.’

"One of the ladies said the babies were sleeping. "I said 'It's a wheelchair bay. She just clicked her lips at me and said no."

'Clicked her lips'..? Hmmm...

And I'm not the only one:

*This time, Mothers of No Appearance...

Those Benefits Of Diversity Again…

Zishan Ahmed returned home around 7pm to be told his mother Doyrun Neesa had been insulted and was determined to confront the next door neighbours.

Zishan and his friend Sultan, who is no relation, knocked on the door and the ensuing argument turned into violence.

Gulbahar Begun, 48, came racing out of the house carrying the dha (Ed: a machete) in both hands, the court heard.

“She lifted it above her head again and again, and repeatedly brought it down on those in front of her,” said Mr Brown.

Her husband Shorifique Uddin, 51, then produced a large kitchen knife and waved it threateningly as his wife shouted “get them with all your strength.”

Their daughter Rahela Begum, 28, then bit Zishan in the arm “not letting go with her teeth and refusing to release her grip.”

“Sultan had Uddin in a headlock but Uddin was able to break free and went towards his house but within seconds returned and just outside the door he went for Sultan from behind with his knife,” said Mr Brown.

“Uddin brought the knife down and stabbed Sultan in the back. He collapsed straight to the ground and in a very short time was dead.

“The tragedy is that Sultan was something of a peacemaker during these events.”

And in what far-away, fly-blown, desolate Third World country did all this allegedly transpire?

The killing occurred in a residential street on the Isle of Dogs in May last year.

Lovely!

Not that the north is missing out, from the looks of the way this story is shaping up...

TDONA*

Police are examining CCTV footage as they continue investigations into fighting which broke out at a mass meeting of taxi drivers in Bolton.

Witness statements are also being collected about the violence which flared up at a gathering attended by hundreds of drivers, hosted by Metro Taxis at the Excellency banqueting suite.

Hmmm....

The trouble erupted as the meeting drew to a close, preventing the announcement of a potential deal on raising fares. Drivers want higher fares in keeping with rival firms and have threatened strike action if new fares are not introduced by September 18.

A previous strike threat was made in May.

Luckily, thanks to the comment section, we have a clue:

Abigail jones says...

These idiots had a meeting at elite property's again on Friday night all the main trouble causers was there yet again, but that comes as no surprise. They was all waiting on the go ahead to start the strike from another fellow trouble causer who has gone to the office to see mr astley So this strike was going ahead regardless of any thing else. It had been advertised in the papers and so on, so as far as every one at metro was concerned the damage is done so go ahead continue with your plans. BUT then on saturday day messages got sent out containing more lies as this is the only way they can get people on side! here's what it read- " Asslam o ailakam brothers.just to inform u brothers that this stike is continous. &after zohar namaz all drivers we mean all drivers shud get together at makkah mosque on grecian st .this strike is related with fares as nick does nt want to raise them &he wants to get rid of ur union members who have spoken on ur behalf .if they go then nobody will speak on ur behalf &he will treat u like slaves workin for peanuts.everyone who belive in The kalima &ur right shud show unity &demand ur right .this is ur benefit ,every single driver .not 1 individual.so plz strike hard &show that this ummah has one body &onevoice .plz b at makkah mosque at 2pm.jazakallah .metro drivers union. Plz forward to ur fellow brothers "

Well, that sheds some light, no?

* Taxi Drivers Of No Appearance

Who Were Those Masked Politically Incorrect Men?

Patients and staff were locked inside a doctors’ surgery for nearly an hour after men threatened to “trash” the building.

Staff at Waters Meeting Health Centre in Waters Meeting Road, Astley Bridge, decided to lock the doors to protect staff and patients at about 2.30pm on Monday.

Police were called when two men started being aggressive and threatening to “trash” the building, but no arrests were made.

No arrests? Why not?

A police spokesman said: “A 29-year-old man was given a fixed penalty notice for public order offences.”

Hmmm....

Now, normally, I'd skip straight to the comments to get the skinny. But it seems I wasn't quick enough:

boltonchap says...

So wrong to give these criminals anonymity. It doesn't matter what their nationality is, we have a right to know.

Jim271 says...

BIG BROTHER strikes again, removing comments the liberal/labour press don't agree with.

Hmmm,. indeed. It seems local newspapers are starting to realise the MONA card can't be played while comments are allowed!

Julian Thorpe says...

Removing comments that are racist. Once again people seem on intent on imagining a race angle on a story that has nothing to do with ethnicity and makes no mention of it.

Thanks for giving the game away, Julian...

You Don’t Suppose This Was Just For Richard Littlejohn’s Benefit?

If so, excellent trolling, Kent Police!

A huge police operation on the A2 in Bexley yesterday evening saw two men arrested in connection with the stabbing of a 19-year-old man.

Officers swooped on “a vehicle of interest to police” on the London-bound A2 yesterday evening at around 9pm.

Two men, aged 19 and 21 from south London, were arrested at the scene following a stabbing on Margate seafront earlier in the day. Long delays followed the police operation, which was executed between the Danson Interchange and Falconwood.

Well, a stabbing, I mean, that's serious enough to inconvenience all the motoring public, isn't it?

Oh. Wait.

Kent Police had previously been called to a stabbing on the seafront in Margate at 5.35pm, where a 19-year-old man was taken to hospital with a non life-threatening stab wound to his leg.

A Kent Police spokesman said: “Police were called to deal with several minor public disorder incidents and fights after thousands of visitors from London attended an event on Margate seafront.”

'An event'? Why so coy (as if we can't all work it out)?

Still, we can always rely on the comment section to fill in the blanks:

Elthamboy says...

This was the result of the annual 'Jamaican beach party' in Margate! Though I'm sure we all could've guessed who'd be involved!

Quite...

As Leg-Iron points out, we can usually tell more from what's not in the news.

Vigilantes Of No Appearance...

Annita Baid, chairwoman of the Slough North Action Project (SNAP), said she had seen large groups of men patrolling Stoke Poges Lane.

She added the group, which has worked to combat prostitution in the area for a number of years, is not part of the patrol group.

She said: "The police are keeping things very close to their chests about this. It's all been very secretive. Normal people down the shops don't seem to know who they [the vigilantes] are."

Don’t they, Annita? Don’t they really? I bet they do…

No formal complaints have yet been made to the police, however they have vowed to 'investigate thoroughly' should one be made.

That’ll be a sight to see, eh? But wait! They didn't say who they’d investigate, did they?

Councillor Fiza Matloob, for Baylis and Stoke, said: "If you live there, it's something you don't want to see.

"Patrolling is absolutely fine, but no-one wants anyone to overstep the mark."

Hmm…

An announcement was made earlier this month at the Jamia Masjid and Islamic Centre in Stoke Poges Lane to make worshippers aware of the vigilante group. Mosque trustee Mohammed Ayub said no one from the mosque was involved.

In which case, why make an announcement? Did the local church or gurdwara feel a need to make an announcement? Is there even a local church or gurdwara?

H/T: MisanthropeGirl via Twitter

Well, Help Us Out, Then! Give Us A Clue!

Detective Sergeant Paul Schofield, of Harrogate CID, said: "The shop is on a busy road in a residential area and we expect a number of people to have been around at the time of the robbery.

I would like anyone who was in the area at the time and witnessed the incident or saw a man matching the suspect's description to contact the police a soon as possible."

OK.

Was he tall, short, fat, thin? Was he white, brown, or black? What was his hair colour? Or...maybe he was bald?

Police searched the area around the One Stop Community Stores on Devonshire Place in Harrogate and issued an urgent witness appeal. The raider was wearing a white or grey hoodie with grey or white tracksuit bottoms.

Wait. That's it? His clothes?

And....what if they aren't the only ones he's got, Sherlock?

The Return Of ‘Men Of No Appearance’!

The men told him how they had walked into the towerblock at about 11.15pm on Thursday and were approached by two robbers in the lobby.

The men demanded money - but when their victims refused they pulled out a carving knife and a smaller knife and began slashing.

Luckily, they managed to flee their attackers before they got help in North Road.

In the comments - should they still be up - there's some speculation about the identity of these mysterious men of no appearance.

MONA Still An Option In 2013...

Given the similarities between the attacks police said they were being treated as "potentially linked".

Similarities? What can they mean?

“He was described as being Asian, in his late teens or early 20s, between 5ft 2ins and 6ft tall, chubby with short black straight hair with his fringe brushed forward.”

“The second victim described her attacker as an Asian man aged about 30, 5ft 6ins tall with gelled hair and light stubble. He was wearing denim jeans and a dark jacket.”

I wonder if that's really the descriptive term the victims used..?

H/T: Pavlov's Cat via email

Seeing Out 2012 With A MONA Story?

A woman waiting at a bus stop in Streatham has died after being hit by a car involved in a collision in Norbury a few minutes earlier.

Unusually for this time of year, it doesn't seem to have been a drink-drive incident:

The first collision occurred at 5am between two cars in London Road at the junction with Ederline Avenue in Norbury.

Following the crash, involving an Audi and a Volkswagen, there was an altercation involving a number of men.

When plain clothes police officers, who had been on duty nearby, intervened, a number of men made off from the scene in the Audi.

Officers stayed with the injured driver of the Volkswagen and the man was taken to hospital where his condition is critical.

Police do not know at this time whether his injuries were sustained in the collision or the subsequent assault.

It tells you quite a bit about the assault that the injuries are indistinguishable from a car crash, eh?

It was then the bus stop incident occurred, killing a woman outright and severely injuring a man. Any description of the suspects beyond 'men', officers?

The occupants of the car left the scene before the police arrived.

Ah. Right. We'll all look out for 'occupants' then...

Update: Well, whaddaya know!? The 'Mail' has also dropped all reports of an 'altercation'. Curious.

It’s (Almost) The Return Of MONA!

Gangs of men brandishing hammers, sticks and a machete brawled in a residential street in Accrington.

Around 20 men clashed in a large scale disturbance, which police believe was a pre-planned fight.

A 35-year-old man received head injuries after being clubbed around the back of the head with a weapon, and needed reconstructive surgery for a broken jaw.

CCTV images show the men, aged in their 20s and 30s, squaring up to one another in the middle of the street, bringing traffic to a standstill.

Ooooh, once upon a time, that would be an end to it. But DI Johnston didn't get the memo, and let the cat out of the bag:

Detective Inspector Jill Johnston, from Accrington CID, said: “This was an incident of large scale disorder that involved between 15 and 20 Asian men fighting in the middle of the street, to the extent that they brought traffic to a standstill for a number of minutes.

C’mon, Jill, don’t keep us in suspense! Were they Gurkhas? Seepoys? Of the Mandarin persuasion, perhaps?

“The motive for the fight is not known at this time but we do believe that all the men involved were known to each other.

“For local residents and motorists this would have been very frightening incident to witness.

“We want to reassure local residents that it appeared to be pre-planned fight so we stepped up patrols over the weekend and will do the same this weekend. ”

I'm sorry..!? In what way is it ‘reassuring’ for local residents to know that – living in their midst – are people whose way of settling disputes is to arrange to brawl in the street with weapons..?

I can’t see how this is very reassuring either:

“We have asked key community leaders to speak to the families involved to put a stop to any further incidents.”

Ummm, aren't you the police? And aren't you the people who should be ‘putting a stop to further incidents’ by coming down on the offenders like a ton of bricks?

Families Of No Appearance!

Four people were taken to hospital after a mass street brawl broke out just yards away from a police station.

Sound frightening? It was:

Witnesses have described how three cars pulled up on the street at around 10.45pm on Thursday.

It is claimed up to 15 people got out of the vehicles – some armed with bats and bottles – and attacked two people in the street, before heading to a terraced property on the road.

Five men, aged between 16 and 57, suffered injuries during the incident, and four were taken to hospital with head and facial injuries.

No descriptions are forthcoming. We all have a good idea of what that could mean, don’t we? But don’t panic! It’s OK, really…

Chief Inspector Adrian Roberts, Stoke North Local Policing Team Commander, said: "Officers were called to reports of a public order incident which was quickly brought to an end on police arrival.

"An investigation is now underway to establish exactly what happened. "I would like to reassure residents that this was an incident involving people known to each other and concerns a family dispute."

Oh, whew! Well, if it was a family dispute, obviously there’s no need to worry.

‘Family’. It’s such a cozy, reassuring word, isn’t it? It conjures up images of the Von Traps, the Waltons, the Mansons, errr…wait…

In the comment thread (if it’s not been nuked by the mods by now) the arguments over who is behind it rage. But this comment gets to the heart of the matter:

by camband

“Aside from all the 'guesswork' re cultural/religious/racial background to this case, what I really find disturbing about this incidence of violence, is that a group of people, supposedly from one family, should take it upon themselves to attack members of a family (whether related or not) residing in a house a few doors away from a Police Station in the manner of a 'gang-land' attack' armed to the teeth -except no firearms or knives, without any undue concern -for the fact that a Police Station was so close by. It means they don't fear the consequences, don't fear the Police, or hold any respect for the law of the land. Anarchy is their politics, whatever there religion or race.... or cultural background. That's what is so disturbing, that aspect -the mindset.”

Well, indeed. It’s almost like there’s a total scorn for the law of this land, a contempt for the potential consequences of their actions...