You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here...

...oh, but it seems you are:

Donna Maxwell, 47, from Irvine, claimed she was attacked by a mentally unwell patient outside Ailsa Hospital in Ayr in November 2018. The horror incident sparked a huge police probe resulting in an innocent woman - who has since died - being hauled in front of a court before being cleared.

Donna Maxwell's job? Glad you asked, Reader. She's a NHS health worker.

...the NHS health worker's web of lies came crashing down when the jury saw CCTV of her buying the weapon from Tesco.

Maxwell continued to insist she was the victim of a 'random attack' during a four-day trial at Ayr Sheriff Court. But today a jury found her guilty of telling a pack of fibs after hearing evidence that she made internet searches for 'claim compensation' before plunging the knife into her own abdomen.

Physician, heal thyself indeed... 

Well, Yes, Criminals Always Have Excuses, Akiko

It would be hard to find a more stark illustration of the cost of living crisis than the fact that one in 10 young people say they have shoplifted to cope with rising costs. In one London borough, Calpol is the most shoplifted item. Elsewhere, parents say they are having to steal formula milk to feed their babies.

Yes, I expect they do. They are hardly likely to tell you what they are really using it for, are they? And why does no-one ask what they are spending their child benefit on, if not their child?

But rather than offering families the support they need, the government is instead increasing the use of invasive facial recognition technology to track shoplifters. This feels like an attempt to criminalise poverty.

No, it's an attempt to catch - or prevent access to - those who are already criminals. No matter who they are. 

Last month, Project Pegasus was launched. Ten of the country’s biggest retailers are planning to tackle the rise in shoplifting by handing over their CCTV images to the police, to be run through police databases using facial recognition technology.

I'd hate to have to point out that if they actually turned up, they'd catch them red handed, but...oh, I just did, didn't I? 

The plans have been fronted by the policing minister, Chris Philp, who also has his sights on setting up a national shoplifting database which can be used by police and retailers nationwide. Such a database could include the passport photos of 45 million adults in the country.Place this in the context of plummeting trust in UK policing and the picture gets ever more bleak. Not only is such technology ripe for misuse, history tells us surveillance tech will always be used to monitor and harass minority groups, and particularly people of colour.

How will it? It's going to be used to target criminals. Surely you can't be saying that minority groups contain more criminals than other groups, can you? 

Using our passport photos – something we’ve submitted for the purposes of travelling – to track us when we go to the shops to buy a pint of milk is an extreme invasion of our privacy.

I've just renewed my passport, as it happens, and I've no qualms whatsoever about my photo being used in this way. Can you guess why? It's not because I'm white. 

The challenges that shoplifting creates are best addressed by understanding the impact rising costs and poverty are having on people across the country, who are are struggling to pay their bills and feed their children.

No, it's not the case that people are stealing to 'feed children' - they are mostly stealing to feed their own greed or a drug habit. 

Will The Met Police Wriggle Out Of This One Too?

Two men who made lurid allegations of VIP sexual abuse to police during the disastrous Operation Midland investigation now face being prosecuted for perverting the course of justice, it emerged today.

Witness A and Witness B made a series of disturbing and damaging claims against senior public figures that were eventually debunked.

I do like that 'eventually'...it took a lot longer than a few days, which is all it should have taken... 

A decision not to launch a criminal investigation into their testimonies was made behind closed doors by the Met — the same force that entertained them as witnesses.

Letting people mark their own homework is never a good idea. 

'Acknowledging that in light of its previous involvement the Met would not be the most appropriate force to carry out this investigation, officers are in the process of agreeing terms of reference with an external force so that the matter can be taken forward.'

Let's hope that farce isn't Essex! 

Speaking in 2022, Witness A offered the Mail his own view on why no judicial action has or — he boasted — will ever be taken against him.

'The police know that if they came after me I have a whole load in my back pocket about what they have done,' he said.

'If they want to f*** me then I can really f*** them back.'

We'll see. I suspect your leeway has run out. I certainly hope so. Your anonymity will go too if you're charged, won't it? That's perhaps going to be the most illuminating thing of all. 

Oh Look, Another One...

Oh..?

Raheem Bailey, a pupil at Abertillery learning community in south Wales, was attacked and beaten by a group of children on 17 May 2022, according to his mother, Shantal, who said he was pushed to the ground and repeatedly kicked. In an Instagram post days after the incident, accompanied by photographs of her son’s injured hand, Shantal said Raheem made a “desperate attempt” to leave the school grounds to escape the situation. Raheem’s finger was then caught in a fence as he tried to climb to escape. Despite surgery to save his finger, it was later amputated.

That was then, this is now... 

Nearly a year since the alleged assault, Gwent police said their investigation, described as “complex”, found Raheem had left the school “of his own accord” and concluded no other individual was involved in his injury. Police said reports of this nature were taken “extremely seriously”, adding that CCTV footage from the school had been viewed and several people interviewed under caution.

But never mind, mum got a payday anyway: 

Following the incident, Shantal launched a GoFundMe campaign to purchase a prosthetic finger for Raheem and help with his recovery, eventually raising £107,575.

They should all ask for their money back. 

If The Pussy Pass Is Declined, Try For An Oscar!

Andrew Davidson, prosecuting, said Darling had told a “pack of lies and falsehoods” to police - over a five year period up to March 2018 - about her ex-partner including that he raped her, stalked her, had tried to kill her, had a gun, and lied to his employer's HR that he had slept with the employer’s wife.

While Mr Davison was prosecuting there was a sudden commotion in the dock as Darling appeared to pass out, and court staff helped her while she lay flat on the floor.

Nice try, love. 

During an afternoon hearing Miss Nixon said Darling was a diabetic and suffered from mental health issues, adding “it is quite clear her physical condition will make a custodial sentence difficult".

Tough. Those are called 'consequences'. 

Judge Burbridge said what Darling did over a long period had been "extremely serious" and wasted police resources in Bedfordshire and Kidderminster investigating the false complaints.

He jailed Darling for 20 months, and granted a restraining order for her partner.

Nice to see a judge get tough for once, though it's a pitiful sentence compared to what the man would have got, and it's a shame to see 'wasting police resources' as the key issue...

But still, baby steps! 

I Don't Know Why You're Addressing The Readers, Ceri...

...it's your fellow columnists you should be addressing. They did as much as anyone to lay the groundwork for this disaster:

There were places to start an inquiry that might have seemed obvious: the alleged murder of a boy – a schoolfriend of Beech’s named Scott – which Beech claimed had taken place in plain sight on a public road at a busy time; or talking to Beech’s wife of many years. For months, the police failed to investigate either. The Panorama team was astonished to find we were ahead of the police in contacting both Scott and Dawn Beech.

At this point, who on earth would ever be 'astonished' to find themselves ahead of our politicised, no-longer-fit-for-purpose (sorry, Jacob!), hopelessly inept police farce?

In the case of Scott and the school records, no deep intrusion into Carl Beech’s life would have been needed to corroborate or disprove his story. There would have been no serious risk of victim shaming. But by now the police were operating from a different playbook, one that relied on publicity rather than diligence to encourage witnesses to come forward. It had worked in Operation Yewtree, the investigation into high-profile sexual offences by Savile and others.

Maybe, Ceri, when you've finished basking in the warm glow of having pointed out the elephant trap that everyone else had remarked on while it was being built, you might like to put your researchers to work on Yewtree as well.

Because if you think Operation Midland was a joke, boy, have I got news for you!

If you worry about one consequence of Operation Midland, it should be this: it put the public in danger. Carl Beech, a paedophile and a risk to children, remained at large for years longer than necessary because the police failed to investigate him fully.

And the people in charge of the police failed to hold them to account, in fact, positively encouraged them to charge down this path.

And what did they get for it? Not a great deal. It hasn't markedly harmed their political careers. Even the ones who chose poorly. 

So don't just blame the police. Point the accusing finger at the puppetmasters, not the puppet.

Fightback!

Clara Byrne, 21, who is the frontwoman in Brighton-based ska band Dakka Skanks, said she and her friend were attacked when trying to protect another woman from a group of black men.

But all is not quite as it seems. And the police aren't going to let this one go by:

But a Sussex Police spokeswoman said: “Police received a report at 5.30am on Saturday of an assault on two women in Marine Drive.

“Officers attended and found a man had been assaulted allegedly by a woman, reported by witnesses including door staff. The woman was not arrested as the victim did not want any further action.

The woman had no injuries, however if there were further offences or assault taken place, she is urged to contact police immediately so there can be an investigation.”

Heh! Maybe she'll find that not all publicity is good publicity after all...

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

The police have apologised to the landlord of a pub for "misleading" the council following calls for its licence to be revoked.

'Misleading'? I think we know a stronger, and far more accurate word than that, don't we, LC?

The future of the Dog and Duck on Mutley Plain was thrown into doubt at the end of last year after a damning police report claimed there had been a rise in crime linked to the pub.

In the meeting itself Supt Tamasine Matthews, on behalf of Devon and Cornwall Police, said one incident - a man brandishing a hammer - happened "outside" the pub.

But landlord Andy Kelland, who has owned the pub for over 14 years, has always disputed this, claiming the incident happened much further up Mutley Plain.

We've been here before, of course. The police want to ensure they have a quiet life, civil liberties be damned. So they will, given half a chance, do all they can to ensure that.

But it's not usually the case that they lie, though it does seem to be occurring more and more.

After officially lodging a complaint with the Complaints Appeal Unit, Supt Matthews has now admitted the phrasing should have been 'nearby' or 'close to' the pub.

We'll skip over the glaringly obvious injustice of anyone being held to account for what happens outside - rather than inside - their establishment. Even the landlord admits it's not the Ritz:

Mr Kelland, 64, who lives in Mannamead, says he is now disputing other claims about crimes linked to the pub, which he argues never should have been used as evidence at the licensing committee meeting in September.

"We're not a pristine establishment," he admitted.

"We do have incidents here, however we are a working man's boozer and probably not the place where you would bring your 90-year-old granny to have a cup of tea.

"But it is very disappointing this has happened because it has cost me a huge amount of money to defend this and I have had quite strict conditions placed on my licence."

Process, punishment. One might suggest that perhaps the lying officer might expect to see some of that herself...

The letter from Supt Matthews itself, sent to Mr Kelland on January 8 and received on January 11, says: 'I am writing to apologise to you on behalf of myself, Mr Seymour [a licencing officer] and the organisation for the inaccurate information presented to the Plymouth City Council licensing sub committee concerning the location of a violent incident within the application for a review of the licence of the licence of the Dog and Duck public house.

...

'I hope you will accept this written apology as finalisation of this matter.'

Translation: "Please don't sue!"

"You Do Not Have To Say Anything, Unless You Wish To Do So..."

The first line of the UK police caution. Something the police themselves would do well to heed....

In a strongly worded statement following the Premier League clash, Chief Inspector Simon Nelson said the match had signalled a “return to the dark days of football”.

He said: “We are aware that a significant number of people attempted to enter the ground with pyrotechnics, knives and knuckledusters, which were found following efforts to gain access through fire exit doors in the south stand.”

 Just one problem. It wasn't true.

But neither Brighton and Hove Albion or Crystal Palace have said that weapons were discovered.

 Whoops! So, time to retract? No, no!

Crystal Palace fans have pushed for proof of weapons but none was provided, however Sussex Police maintained that weapons had been found and told a reporter that they were now evidence

Then yesterday Chief Inspector Simon Nelson was on Twitter telling a Crystal Palace fanzine that Brighton and Hove Albion had found the weapons.

Someone needs to taser this chap & wrestle the dangerous weapon - his Twitter account - from his hands!

But The Argus understands the club had not found any weapons and has not been party to any claims that they were found either inside or outside the ground.

Sussex Police claim information about the weapons was logged by an officer but the force has not made clear where the information came from.

Ah, the convenient 'anonymous officer who can't be traced', despite the police having all those systems for logging seizures & intelligence...

The police apology, issued last night, said: “The reference to weapons being found discarded at the stadium following the Brighton v Crystal Palace match on November 28 was based on information logged by our officers on the night and done so in good faith.

“Subsequently, it has been established that no such items were physically recovered at the stadium or in the city.

“We accept that this information was incorrect and the tweet published earlier today (December 7) by one of our officers was wrong.

“Sussex Police apologises to both clubs and their supporters.”

...through gritted teeth, I'll bet!

Last night the police said that they would not make any further comment.

Like most of their 'customers'!

The Second Man...

Hayley Carter, 23, gave a statement to police after they had carried out a drugs raid at an address in Crawley.

Officers arrested a man and charged him with possessing a stolen shotgun and with handling stolen property.

Later they detained a second man on suspicion of the same offences and he was placed on police bail.

Excellent!

Carter, of Turners Hill Road, Crawley Down, became aware of the second arrest and made a statement to police which further incriminated the man, who was subsequently charged.

Great! How public spirited some people are!

As a direct result of Carter's statement the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) decided to drop the case against the first man.

At the trial of the second man in February 2015, Carter failed to appear as a witness.

Ooops! Maybe she was washing her hair?

The defence produced video evidence shot by a friend on a mobile phone in the toilets of a Crawley nightclub on the preceding New Years Eve in which Carter clearly admits that the man is innocent. The trial was stopped. No further action is being taken against either man.

But don't worry! There's someone who - for once! - the police and CPS will take action against. Can you guess who it is?

Officers arrested 23-year-old Carter and charged her with perverting the course of justice.

She was handed an 18 month community order at Hove Crown Court in October.

Typical! But this time, the police & CPS weren't about to accept a pussy pass, oh dear me, no...

However the CPS appealed against the sentence being unduly lenient at the Court of Appeal on December 1.

Carter, a telephonist, has now been jailed for 12 months.

Heh!

Detective sergeant Jon Robeson, of Sussex Police, said: "Carter's action caused a man to be in prison for five months awaiting trial, and also had the effect of causing the original case against the first man to be called into question so that it had to be withdrawn.

"The sentence sends the message that attempts to pervert the course of justice are taken very seriously and that people who make false statements to the police, and to the courts, must expect to face justice themselves."

Well, if so, you've got a bit of a backlog. Chop chop!