Shooting SuspendingThe Messenger...

Dinnerlady Carol Hill did what any concerned adult working with children would do when she saw a seven-year-old pupil tied up and whipped with her own skipping rope by bullies.

(Well, maybe not this one, who would have thought all her birthdays had come at once...)

And when she found out, after talking to the girl's mother, that the school had lied by omission about the reason for her injuries, she gave the mother the details.

And for that, she's been suspended:

Mrs Hill has been suspended on suspicion of gross misconduct, because the school says she should not have discussed a pupil outside of school.

Yes, even to the child's own mother.

What, you thought it was your business because it was your child? Oh, no. It's the state's child while under the 'care' of the school system, and never will they let you forget it:

Mrs Scott, also mum to 12-year-old Joshua and one-year-old Oliver, said the form sent home did not inform them their daughter had been tied up.

She was angry she had not been invited to school to discuss what had happened, even though the parents of those accused had been.

Which rings all sorts of alarm bells.

Mr David said he had informed police.

Oooh, careful! That could get your children taken away, if the police and SS decide you are a mental case as a result....

In a prepared statement, headteacher Debbie Crabb said: “We can confirm that an incident took place during lunchtime in school last week.

“The matter is being dealt with internally in accordance with our behavioural policy and all the relevant parties have been informed.

“It would not be appropriate to discuss this in any further detail.”

Hmm, I wonder if 'in accordance with our behavioural policy' means that they decided to try some trendy, unworkable policy in lieu of any actual punishment for the little thugs?

Reality Vs Entertainment...

Mr Nuhu said he felt let down by the emergency services, which took an hour and a half to reach them.

'I was expecting things like a helicopter (to) come and drop a ladder or commando-type rescuer,' he said.

No doubt the enquiry will highlight many, many deficiencies in design, etc.

Let's hope it also highlights what residents can do for themselves in an emergency, instead of relying on frequently overburdened and underequipped emergency services...

Child Snatching - It Really Happens

Plato highlights this utterly astonishing move by the police and social services to remove a couple's children because their father was concerned about possible danger of kidnap and had requested that their school allow him to drive into the school grounds to pick them up:

He was driven by a policeman to a nearby mental hospital where he was told that, because of "a number of concerns", he was being detained under Section 136 of the Mental Health Act and "sectioned" under S.2 as of "unsound mind". His wife, it turned out, had been similarly arrested, for loudly protesting at the handcuffing of her husband and the forcible seizing from her arms of her young son. The three children had been taken into care by social services.

So, that's teachers, social workers and police, all utterly ignorant of the fact that this man was indeed who he claimed to be - related to various European royal families and with a brother who is a senior Army officer seconded to the UN - and who regarded his concern for his children as grounds to lock him up!

But surely, you say, there are safeguards in the Mental Health Act, and the magistrates wouldn't allow this? Well, yes. And no:

The chief magistrate, it later emerged, was chairman of the trustees of the mental hospital in which he was being detained.

And that isn't considered a conflict of interest?

The mental health tribunal heard his story and gave him a complete discharge. However, the SS weren't about to give up so easily:

Despite the finding of the tribunal, the social workers have remained determined to hold on to the children, with a view to their care being determined in a county court on Wednesday.

Heads should roll for this.

The only reason offered in these documents for the abduction of the children is Mr Jones's "delusional belief system" that special care should be taken of his children because of their elevated family connections.

Excellent!

That gives us ground to lock up and remove the children of all those MPs who voted for their children, and the children of celebrities, to be exempt from the child database then, does it?

/facepalm

Children as young as five should be taught about evolution to prevent them mistaking Barney the Dinosaur and Fred Flintstone for scientific fact, an academic has claimed

What kind of 'academic' is this?

Should we teach five year olds about Formula One as well, in case they grow up thinking you can enter with a car shaped like a boulder?

Oh, and a session on the First World War wouldn't come amiss, to drum out of them the idea that dogs were an integral part of aerial combat against carrier pigeons...

James Williams, lecturer in education at Sussex University, says that letting pupils believe dinosaurs and humans lived together plays into the hands of creationists.

They're five, for the love of god! Can't they just be kids for a while first?

He warned that creationists - who claim that God created the world and all its animals in six days - go to great lengths to influence children with comics and videos that mix scientific misconceptions with proper science.

Yes, they sound like wackos, prof.

But you know what? So do you...

Sunday Funnies (Extra)

For the 'Star Wars' fan in your life, something they won't want to be without...

Sunday Funnies II...

see more Political Pictures

Sunday Funnies...

Just to even the balance between 'dumb public services' and 'canny private companies', here's a few that weren't quite so canny....

Is It The Heat...?

Or has Bernie Ecclestone been sniffing the petrol?

Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone last night provoked outrage by praising the policies of Adolf Hitler in an extraordinary interview.

The 78-year-old billionaire criticised modern politicians as 'weak' and praised the former Nazi leader's ability to 'get things done'.

They Don't Build Very Sturdy Lampposts...

...in Ferndown, Dorset:

Council chiefs fear stringing up the tiny, colourful plastic flags between sturdy metal posts could make the columns topple over and injure people.

No, it's not April 1st again. They claim this really could happen:

Rod Mainstone, Dorset County Council’s street lighting manager, sent guidance notes to town and parish councils which stated: ‘Street lighting columns are not generally designed to be strong enough to support any additional attachments.

‘Even relatively light additions such as a small sign can lead to considerable extra load being imposed on a column in strong wind.

‘Furthermore, internal corrosion, which cannot be seen, may have weakened the column and the additional load could lead to it collapsing.’

If your lamposts are so weak a bit of bunting will bring them down, are the residents of Ferndown safe as they walk the streets?

A Dorset County Council spokesman said the note was sent because it was risky attaching signs, banners or advertising to street lighting as some older columns may be in a worn structural condition.

‘Bunting hung between street lighting columns that stand close to the road can sag and become entangled in passing traffic, such as buses and lorries,’ the spokesman added.

I hope they are strong enough to support the weight of all those useless 'elf and safety 'experts' and pointless council staff someday...

Armageddon: Canvey

Energy company Calor has moved to allay residents’ fears after campaigners claimed Canvey could suffer a similar gas explosion to the one that killed at least 14 people in Italy.

This must be some new definition of ‘similar’ that actually means ‘nothing like it’…

A massive explosion caused houses to collapse trapping people in the rubble when a train carrying liquid petroleum gas exploded after it derailed near Pisa.

The accident has prompted fears a similar disaster could happen at the island’s Calor gas terminal, which is under investigation by the Government following a leak of 163-tonnes of liquid petroleum gas at the site last October.

Not, you’ll note, a leak from a derailed train travelling at high speed. Far from it:

Calor spokesman Simon Ford insisted there were no similarities between the Italian train crash and the leak on Canvey.

He said: “When a train crashes at high speed the chance of something igniting the gas is very high.”

“It is impossible to control an open railway space, but with a spillage at a secure site like Canvey, there is no chance of ignition.”

…after which he put his head in his hands and wept, begging the company to get him out of Canvey, where they are all ‘complete idiots’…

Probably.

Mr Ford said almost all LPG is transferred by pipe between the Calor terminal and the Coryton oil refinery, greatly reducing the chance of a tanker transporting the fuel crashing on Canvey.

Did that satisfy the residents?

It did not:

However, George Whatley, chairman of Canvey’s People Against Methane campaign, said the Italian disaster showed how catastrophic a gas explosion could be.

Ummm, yeah. Indeed it does. What’s that got to do with anything? The incident described is unlikely to happen there because the circumstances are different!

I mean, yes, gas refineries carry a risk, but didn’t you notice when you bought a house on Canvey that it was there?

Oh, but look! A sighting of the lesser-spotted Spink, with its summer call ‘Pub..li..city!’

Referring to the gas leak last October, Castle Point MP Bob Spink said: “OK, accidents happen, but if safety systems aren’t adhered to then the chance of another Italy is more likely.

“If someone had been smoking near the Calor site when the gas was released the results are unthinkable.”

Well, yes. But they weren’t.

Next!

Rebecca Harris, Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Castle Point, called for a Government review to look at where gas should be stored to ensure public safety.

She said: “Fear of a horrific accident like this is exactly why the Canvey People Against Methane campaign fought plans to site more liquid gas on the island.

No, it was classic NIMBYism, pointless in their case because there’s already a whopping great industrial development there anyway.