Armageddon: Canvey

Energy company Calor has moved to allay residents’ fears after campaigners claimed Canvey could suffer a similar gas explosion to the one that killed at least 14 people in Italy.

This must be some new definition of ‘similar’ that actually means ‘nothing like it’…

A massive explosion caused houses to collapse trapping people in the rubble when a train carrying liquid petroleum gas exploded after it derailed near Pisa.

The accident has prompted fears a similar disaster could happen at the island’s Calor gas terminal, which is under investigation by the Government following a leak of 163-tonnes of liquid petroleum gas at the site last October.

Not, you’ll note, a leak from a derailed train travelling at high speed. Far from it:

Calor spokesman Simon Ford insisted there were no similarities between the Italian train crash and the leak on Canvey.

He said: “When a train crashes at high speed the chance of something igniting the gas is very high.”

“It is impossible to control an open railway space, but with a spillage at a secure site like Canvey, there is no chance of ignition.”

…after which he put his head in his hands and wept, begging the company to get him out of Canvey, where they are all ‘complete idiots’…

Probably.

Mr Ford said almost all LPG is transferred by pipe between the Calor terminal and the Coryton oil refinery, greatly reducing the chance of a tanker transporting the fuel crashing on Canvey.

Did that satisfy the residents?

It did not:

However, George Whatley, chairman of Canvey’s People Against Methane campaign, said the Italian disaster showed how catastrophic a gas explosion could be.

Ummm, yeah. Indeed it does. What’s that got to do with anything? The incident described is unlikely to happen there because the circumstances are different!

I mean, yes, gas refineries carry a risk, but didn’t you notice when you bought a house on Canvey that it was there?

Oh, but look! A sighting of the lesser-spotted Spink, with its summer call ‘Pub..li..city!’

Referring to the gas leak last October, Castle Point MP Bob Spink said: “OK, accidents happen, but if safety systems aren’t adhered to then the chance of another Italy is more likely.

“If someone had been smoking near the Calor site when the gas was released the results are unthinkable.”

Well, yes. But they weren’t.

Next!

Rebecca Harris, Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Castle Point, called for a Government review to look at where gas should be stored to ensure public safety.

She said: “Fear of a horrific accident like this is exactly why the Canvey People Against Methane campaign fought plans to site more liquid gas on the island.

No, it was classic NIMBYism, pointless in their case because there’s already a whopping great industrial development there anyway.