Monday, 13 July 2009

Red...Mist....Descending!

Again:
Police community support officers have startled homeowners by wandering uninvited into their properties during a burglary crackdown.

If doors were left open, the civilian officers - nicknamed 'Blunkett's Bobbies' after the Home Secretary who created them - walked straight into homes.
Which, of course, they deem to be quite safe for them to do. Try the same thing in Texas, why don't you...
One resident, who came face to face with a PCSO in her home, said she was 'totally shocked' when she met the officer in her kitchen.

The 38-year-old, who did not want to be named, said: 'I was just pottering around in the kitchen and then all of a sudden there was an officer in front of me.

'I really didn't know what to make of it and just stared at her for a while.

'She had clambered through my living room window and started lecturing me about crime prevention. I thought it was a bit much really, but it did make me think.'
What did it make you think, love? That you should have battened down the hatches and sat tight in your living room, despite the heat?

Or that you really, really wish you'd bought that pitbull after all? And starved it for a few days...
PCSO Thurley admitted that she might have locked some people out of their homes by closing doors they had found open with nobody home.

She said: 'We may well have been locking people out, but it's better safe than sorry and would teach them a lesson.'
Oh, how I wish I was a swearblogger, but I don't think I could spell the words I'd want to use...

'Teach them a lesson', indeed. You jumped-up, sanctimonious little jobsworth! Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really believe that you are in the job you are in to 'teach people lessons'?

Well, you aren't. You are in the job because NuLabour is too skint to be able to afford more real police, and too desperate to massage the unemployment stats to hide their failings, so is clearly reduced to handing out plastic police uniforms to any bumptious little wannabe gauletier who fancies lording it over the rest of the population.

And why, it seems it was only yesterday that the fat waste of skin occupying the Met top job (until prised off like a recalcitrant limpet by Boris) was trumpeting the fact that 'residents in Haringey, north London, are now happy to leave their front doors open and unlocked' as a triumph for his police force! What happened, love? Didn't you get the memo?

Oh, and I bet you didn't try this on any chav estates, did you? Not so much fun when it might not be harmless females to surprise and terrorise, but Darren and his skunk-smoking posse?

10 comments:

Rob said...

Another reason for them wandering in without a warrant is that they might discover some juicy crimes, such as watching TV without a license or permitting cats to sleep closer than 25cm from a fire.

Got to meet the targets, old boy.

Dr Melvin T Gray said...

I recently walked back from Almondbury Coop to discover a PCSO Slack (yes, that really is his name) in my garden with his face pressed against a bedroom window, attempting to peer through gaps in the vertical blinds. Asked what he was doing he retorted "I am doing my job - your side gate is always locked" alerting me to his apparent habit of checking it.

Opinion on this new activity is divided. I suppose one man's Peeping Tom is another's welcome security guard.

Anonymous said...

Remember, PCSOs are not Policemen/women. They are council employees who are just paid neighbourhood busybodies

Anonymous said...

Oh please come to my house you platic pig muppets.

I'll demonstrate my crime prevention strategy to you anytime.

AJ

Obsidian said...

I love the UK, just when I think there's nothing left to surprise me, something does!

On the bright side, I can see a whole new range of masturbatory fantasies involving female PCSO's...

Plus could we finally see another another 'Confessions of a ...' movie? :D

JuliaM said...

"Opinion on this new activity is divided. I suppose one man's Peeping Tom is another's welcome security guard."

Leaving a card (as they have done with unlocked cars) or having a quiet word next time they see you = fine.

Trespass = not fine.

"I'll demonstrate my crime prevention strategy to you anytime."

If one does wind up with a golfclub wrapped round his or her head, I've no sympathy. None at all.

"On the bright side, I can see a whole new range of masturbatory fantasies involving female PCSO's..."

With the legendary inventiveness of the porn industry, I'm sure this will soon beat off (ahem) such old favourites as 'the day the plumber came and I had no money' and 'see me for some extra dick-tation, Miss Jones'...

Von Spreuth. said...

It does raise the question of; "If I find CPSO arsehole in my kitchen, and, well, you know how it is after a beer or three, you don't really NOTICE the car park attendant uniform, and it WAS in the kitchen, to me it semed justified to pick up the meat cleaver which I had been using to open my M&S sandwich packs, and defend my property against an intruder."

Von Brandenburg-Preußen.

blueknight said...

The only thing that surprises me about this is that no one has made an official complaint.
A Police Officer can enter a house without warrant, but a certain set of circumstances must apply.
Usually it to search for intruders following a break in while the owners are out, or looking for the elderly occupant who has not bothered to bring in the 20 pints of milk growing fungus on the door step.
With the legendary inventiveness of the porn industry....
The male PCSOs will need to grow 1970s style Ron Jeremy moustaches first.
I can see a whole new range of masturbatory fantasies involving female PCSO's... Just wondering, do I leave the front door ajar, - or unlock the french doors in the hope of a rear entry?

JuliaM said...

"The only thing that surprises me about this is that no one has made an official complaint."

I think 'complaining to the Daily Mail' is now considered the best route...

"The male PCSOs will need to grow 1970s style Ron Jeremy moustaches first."

Heh! Good point...

Richard Dale said...

This helped to trigger a post that was forming in my head, Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes, which connects up a series of stories of police stepping over the mark and the fact that the police appear not to want anyone monitoring them.